Are your students needlessly stupid?

[Yahweh]

Inspired by the "Just Follow Directions" thread and the posts made by PygmyPlaidGiraffe.

As a teacher, my students dont appear to be at the sharpest marbles. Every year I am bombarded with the stupidest most god-awful things I've ever heard in my life. The things my TA's and I put up with can only be described as "punitively damaging". My students are titans of ignorance. Sure, they can handle their "trees fall and no one can hear them" but when it comes to "how do you know your are not dreaming right now" they become mindless.

I'm known for butchering the English language in my classroom. Oops, my bad. I forgot the serious sin of "double negatives".
"Mr. Christian, you just said 'It dont got nothing to do with chance'. Then apparently it does have something to do with chance."
Use some common sense you idiots. You know what I meant.

"Mr. Christian, I know I did my homework but I cant find it."
That has legitimately happened to me a few times but what do you expect me to do, give you full credit. Sorry loser, you get a ZERO.

"Mr. Christian, you just used the word 'ain't'. 'Ain't' isn't actually a word".
So, I dont care. Did my use of the "aint" prevent you from understanding me.

I know each and every one of my students. Sometimes they turn in assignments that just dont match their style of writing. If I suspect one of my students of plagiarism, I just type in some of the text into this nifty software we have at the school and see what we come up with. The software works by scouring Google for keywords and trying to match up text to website... its really cool. When I find what I'm looking for I print out the plagiarized text followed by a URL and staple it to the students paper. And when a student recieves a 0, I dont draw number, I write the word "ZERO" in big red bold letters.

Every year, I have a series of students who like to pay another student to write do all their homework. Its funny because I've had as many as 6 or so homeworks at time written in the same style, changed ever so slightly (it might be italicized, or written in pen so as not to draw similarities to the other papers). Sometimes the student will intentionally write false answers... sometimes they are humorous.

Last year I got one of those weird people who are overly proud of their grades. One of the ones who will try and argue every wrong answer he got. Once he missed 11 out of 30. He tried to claim that the instructions were too vague and therefore the test should not count. Needless to say, I dont make exceptions for individual students... especially based on the "I dont understand" principle. Also needless to say, I had to fight with this kid for half the class period because he refused to accept his grade because it was unfair. Idiot.

Every year I get the badass student who makes it his primary duty to piss me off. Just a smart ass kid who yells out ignorant things in the middle of my teaching like "Oops I farted, can I go the bathroom and change". "Teacher your boring, ha ha ha". "If youre so smart, whats the meaning of life". I dont know why I deal with those imbeciles. Its against school policy to just pop those kids in the mouth for being a nuisance... damn.

One of the few things I enjoy is every 2 months, the school pays for all the teachers to go to Applebees and just talk... usually about the students and upcoming events. I just go for the Presidente Margaritas.

Have any funny stories to share?

[kittynh]

well, I adore my kids and have to say that many of them are smarter than I am. I did long term subbing with the 3 year olds one year. Part of a Montessori education is to work on letter sounds rather than the name of the letter. Most 3 year olds come in knowing the names of the letters, but not the sounds.

This is a game I played with a little girl named Kylie.

"Kylie, find me something in the classroom that starts with the letter R"

She returns moments later with an orange.

Is she wrong, no!

so I try, "FInd me something that starts with the letter L"

She brings an Elephant!

I love teaching, but I have to say that the public schools had burned me out. I regained my love for it by switching to a private school. I sometimes feel like I sold out, but then again these kids are getting the great education all kids deserve. Plus, a lot of the parents give up the big SUV and the fancy vacations to afford this school for their kids.

This year the middle school went to Alabama to study civil rights. Now that was funny! A bunch of white kids from Vermont walking around inner city Birmingham singing civil rights songs. BUt, they got back alive, anc certainly less ignorant than when they left.

[Trish]

I'm not a teacher but do have a 13 yo that is highly intelligent.

I suppose I should appologize to one of my teachers, I did get into an argument with him about why I should do my homework. See, I was told I would get A's if I did my homework. Being the person I was, I asked what was the point of homework. The answer, to help me study for tests. I was already scoring 97% on my tests, so I didn't really see how homework could help me study.

Many of your students, especially the smart asses might be bored. Not your teaching style or anything, just the same damned material they've had before, or they pick it up quick and fail to see why others can't.

[dissonance]

It's not that they're stupid, it's just that they're...

Well, OK, they are stupid. Not all of them. Probably not even most of them. But the stupid ones are just so memorable!

Like the girl who claimed she couldn't write her midterm because of Ramadan. Given the sizeable Muslim population at my university, it was rather surprising that no one had ever informed us that test-taking is forbidden during an entire MONTH out of the year. You'd think that would be a big deal, if it was the truth! But, of course, it wasn't. Eventually, she switched tactics to claiming that the fasting required during Ramadan made her too light-headed to write the test. *sigh*

Then there are the people who don't ask for help when they clearly need it. They're more frustrating than anything else, especially last term when I TAed a statistics course. One girl, after writing a quiz in my tutorial section, burst into tears and announced she was going to fail out of psychology because of statistics. I managed to calm her down, and told her that I would be more than willing to spend extra time with her, whatever she needed. But she never took me up on that offer, and wound up failing the course.

I mean, if you know you are struggling with the subject, and there's a friendly TA who is willing to help you out, why not take advantage of that? Not to mention that getting to know your TAs is pretty much a sure-fire way to get more lenient marking. If we know that you are struggling, but also are making a serious effort to do better, we'll probably be inclined to toss out a few bonus marks here and there.

And why doesn't anyone proofread anything? I'm so SICK of reading essays with glaring misspellings in them. Especially when they are misspellings that should be caught by a spellchecker. And no one seems to have the foggiest idea of the difference between it's and its. Or appropriate use of apostrophes in general. I mean, we all make mistakes. No doubt I've made some in this post. But a half dozen mistakes in every paragraph? AUGH.

[RSLancastr]

Originally posted by Yahweh
As a teacher, my students dont appear to be at the sharpest marbles.Pillory? Is that you?

[American]

In high school, we received some patonizing lectures at the start of class on basic grammer. It was well worth it. Retaining 7th grade material at that point made it stick for life.

Usually when I violate rules of grammer now, I do it knowingly, and I cringe. But sometimes it's easier to "talk" this way... (example, don't begin a sentence with "but".)

[RSLancastr]

Originally posted by American
In high school, we received some patonizing lectures at the start of class on basic grammer.Were there any on spelling? :)

[American]

Originally posted by RSLancastr
Were there any on spelling? :)

!!! :mad: grammar... whatever. I've been living on Autocorrect for too long, ala MS Word.

[Thumper]

I taught 8 years in a private high school. I have no stories to share. (At least none of which I can think at this moment.)

I now teach in a major American university.

One paper I received from this one group of students had approximately 50 grammar and spelling errors on it. The paper was 4 pages long. I had to set it down and come back to it three times before I could finish it.

The sad thing is that it was not unique.

A lecture on the first day about spelling and grammar will definitely be in order next semester!

[Yahweh]

Originally posted by RSLancastr
Pillory? Is that you?
No, I'm not pillory. I can form complete sentences.

[Yahweh]

Originally posted by Trish
...snip...
Many of your students, especially the smart asses might be bored. Not your teaching style or anything, just the same damned material they've had before, or they pick it up quick and fail to see why others can't.
No, my kid arent bored. I teach nearly 100 or so kids so I'm bound to get a few smart asses. I dont see how my kids can get the same material before my class, I teach them all sorts of philosophy and psychology... they seem to take it all in. Its not like physics where everything can be repetitive... not even when I go through the same routine 4 times a day. The thing I hate most is a roomfull of kids sleeping, and a teacher droning on and on... so boring you'd want to kill yourself. In a big group of teachers, I would stand out because I tend to be "the oddball" (then again so would half the science teachers). I engage humor and intelligent conversation in my classroom. One of the bad things about my class is obviously the flaw of philosophy, it is entirely logic based. If one event could have happened, then we shouldnt disregard it until we can use logic to prove it couldnt have happened, if one event is unknown then logically it has no final singular answer, given infinite time and infinite space everything on this planet will be reproduced somewhere else in the universe (almost like an identical dimension)... weird things like that. The kids love it... just sometimes I get stuck with a few idiots and I'm fine with that.

[Trish]

Originally posted by Yahweh

No, my kid arent bored. I teach nearly 100 or so kids so I'm bound to get a few smart asses. I dont see how my kids can get the same material before my class, I teach them all sorts of philosophy and psychology... they seem to take it all in. Its not like physics where everything can be repetitive... not even when I go through the same routine 4 times a day. The thing I hate most is a roomfull of kids sleeping, and a teacher droning on and on... so boring you'd want to kill yourself. In a big group of teachers, I would stand out because I tend to be "the oddball" (then again so would half the science teachers). I engage humor and intelligent conversation in my classroom. One of the bad things about my class is obviously the flaw of philosophy, it is entirely logic based. If one event could have happened, then we shouldnt disregard it until we can use logic to prove it couldnt have happened, if one event is unknown then logically it has no final singular answer, given infinite time and infinite space everything on this planet will be reproduced somewhere else in the universe (almost like an identical dimension)... weird things like that. The kids love it... just sometimes I get stuck with a few idiots and I'm fine with that.

Good to know there's some new materials being taught somewhere. I just tended t opick things up quickly enough that I read (other books than the assigned) through most of my classes. I also tended to be a bit of a smart ass because I was bored silly.

Sounds like your classes might have been one of the few I would have enjoyed.

[Graham]

According to a news report, a certain private school in Victoria recently was faced with a unique problem.

A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror, leaving dozens of little lip prints.

Every night, the maintenance man would remove them and the next day, the girlswould put them back.
Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man.

She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the
custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night. To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the

maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required. He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it.

Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.

There are teachers, and then there are educators....

:)

[Yahweh]

... thats a lot smarter solution than I could think of... I would have tried to use the "You are defacing public property, thats a crime" solution... but then the kids would get smart and say "We arent defacing it, see look it wipes right off"... Toilet Water... good idea, I would have never thought of it...

[Thanz]

My brother is a teacher, so I get stories from him. In one of his classes, a girl who was absent the day before asked to copy the notes she missed. No problem, and my brother hands her the notes. She asks for his code for the photocopier - no chance. She has to go to the library and use the coin-operated machine. She then whines that she has no money. My brother suggests that she borrows from a friend. So, the girl turns to the class and asks "Does anyone have a dollar?" to which some kid responds - "I'll give you a dollar, if you s*** my c***!" These kids today...

They're not all bad, however. He once got an essay in his History class on the Luddites entitled "Rage Against The Machine" :)

[Yahweh]

About 3 years ago, the school hired a new English teacher. She was a 24 year old asian woman... on the first day of school she was walking to her classroom. On the way there a student stops her in the halls. Here is the conversation they had:
Student: I got some pot.
Teacher: Excuse me.
Student: I got it on me right now. We go and smoke it in the bathroom.
Teacher: Sir, we're going to the office.
Student: No, I think we'll get caught.

When asked why he asked a teacher to smoke pot with him he said "I thought she was a student".

[kittynh]

Well, part of the "Problem" is that every kid thinks they should go to college. It's a must now. So, many colleges are stuck with kids that shouldn't and don't want to be there.

When my daughter first went to High school first year English was all based on learning grammar and just HOW to write. The teacher used to be an editor at the NYTImes (maybe not so great now). He said his goal was to have each girl writing well enough for the paper by the end of the first year, or they took the class again and again until they could.

It has paid off over and over for my daughter.

[PygmyPlaidGiraffe]

Originally posted by Graham


Lipstick story

:)

This story sounded familiar so I did a search on www.snopes.com
and found this:

Lipstick (http://www.snopes.com/spoons/legends/lipstick.htm)

[Kilted_Canuck]

I've been in the 'trenches' of education for the last 12 years.(I mean as a student). I've seen some pretty dumb (and I mean dumb) peers, people that should be sent back to kindergarted to do the whole thing from scratch again.
Where I am (and I assume most everwhere else in North America) it is almost a taboo for a teacher to fail a student up to grade 8. The a student could get I's(feel-good versions of F's) in every class, and still pass every elementary school grade.
My class has been extremely horrible to sub's. At the current count, we've made 7 sub's, 2 music teachers, and 2 full-time teachers break down and cry, or resign from their job. I see how extremely cruel kids can be to anyone in power(kicking, biting, having temper-tantrems, and spitting)

In grade 10 science, 4 people in my class of 28 debated the teacher for nearly 20 minutes, their position; there were only 4 elements in the world!

I have many more, but sadly my memory is fairly poor, so if I think of them, I'll post them

[Yahweh]

4 elements... Air, fire, water, and wood... Thats when you ask the kids what the chemical equation of Sucrose is. That usually keeps them busy for a while.

[Yahweh]

Heres a story I will never forget. I believe this happened last August or September... a student vandalized one of the school lockers and was given OSS (out of school suspension). Heres a quick synopsis of OSS: Usually OSS means the student is prohibited from coming to school and will not be able to make up any missed assignments or exams... but the school adopted a new policy where kids get to spend their OSS in a room with all the other "OSS kids". In there the teachers send them all their missing assignments where the students can minimally recieve 1/2 credit (which is better than no credit). One day while in OSS, the kid who vandalized the lockers for no reason picked up a pencil and stabbed himself in the eye. That little idiot permanently blinded and disfigured himself just for a little attention and pity... and a trip to the emergency room. When he was asked why he did it he said "Ummm... I dont know". Well... good to know then. I hope this kid knows none of us are proud of him.

[Yahweh]

Every year, when the science class gets to dissecting animals someone always has to do something to get themself suspended. I know a couple of worms, a few frogs, and owl pellets have been stolen, but last year I heard a story where one kid tried to steal a pig fetus. Keep in mind those things about the size of a football... why did he want to steal a pig fetus. Other kids have unsuccessfully tried to steal dead cats out of the science labs via smuggling them in shoe boxes... children are funny.

[Yahweh]

<DIV style="background:#CCEECC;font-family=Arial;border:1px solid #000000;margin:2px;">
<blockquote>
John Kallam graduated with a BA in criminology and entered the US Army. He served for 20 years beginning in the late 1930s. He was an investigator during the Nuremberg trials of Nazi war criminals, and stayed in Germany for many years organizing civilian police forces in the post-war era. He also wrote numerous books on criminal justice. He retired from military service in the late 1950s at the rank of full colonel.

Returning to Fresno, California, he began teaching criminology at what was then Fresno State College (later to become the California State University, Fresno). His work was well respected, but after about ten years of service, he was called to see the president of the college. He was informed that he could no longer teach with just a bachelor's degree. Times were changing, he was told, and the school demanded that faculty members hold a graduate degree. Merely having 20 years of distinguished experience was no longer considered sufficient qualification to teach. All new faculty were being required to hold a doctorate, it was explained, and the school was actually doing him a favor by letting him keep his job by getting 'only' a master's degree. So John enrolled in a summer program at an out of state college. Three months of intensive seminars and then nine months of home study would get him his MA.

On the first day of class, the instructor was taking roll. He stopped when he read John's name.

"Are you related to the John Kallam who wrote the textbook we'll be using?" he asked.

"I am the John Kallam who wrote the textbook you're using," came the dry response.

</blockquote>
</DIV>

Snopes.com
http://www.snopes.com/college/admin/textbook.htm

[LW]

I've been a TA for far too many years now. Our course is mandatory for a large number of people (computer science and elecrical engineers) and a rather great percentage of them are not interested. This means that every time I get a pile of exam papers on my table I skim them through to see how many repeat customers there are. After the last one I gave a short talk to the current record holder: he has failed nine times this far. Another one took five exams before his cumulative sum was enough to pass the test. When he finally passed it I opened a bottle of cognac in celebration.

Last spring I had a rubber stamp made with the text: "Tämä arpa ei voita" (= "This is not the winning raffle ticket") to use for the most pathetic answers. The TAs of the neighbouring lab have a collection of stamps including "Copy" and "Original" for the plagiarization cases.

[Drifterman]

kittynh said:
"Kylie, find me something in the classroom that starts with the letter R"

She returns moments later with an orange.

Is she wrong, no!

I don't understand :confused:

Teaching kids and adults in Taiwan is sometimes so depressing because they seem to have had all the spirit drummed out of them. The occasional feisty student is a welcome breath of fresh air.

One of my American friends relates a story of how some medical students playing rugby one day decided to dispense with the traditional ball, and tossed a human head into the scrum instead.

This story is probably apocryphal, but as someone who has played rugby, it would not be out of character for rugby players.

[kittynh]

Well, maybe it's the NEw ENgland accent, but orange comes out R-range. Elephant, L-ephant. The child isn't wrong. But it opens up a great lesson in letter sounds and letter names.

[arcticpenguin]

Originally posted by kittynh
Well, maybe it's the NEw ENgland accent, but orange comes out R-range. Elephant, L-ephant. The child isn't wrong. But it opens up a great lesson in letter sounds and letter names.
The child was wrong in any system but a namby pamby PC I'm OK you're OK new math new age system.

I remember a time when my niece asked for help on her math homework. It was a question about the associative property, except they wouldn't come out and name it. They just gave the problem and you're supposed to work it out using the associative property, but they never tell you that it's the associative property. What's the d_mn deal? I do not want my niece to be a guinea pig.

[kittynh]

I'm not going to tell a THREE YEAR OLD that they are wrong!

Pre school for three year olds should be PC.

Heck, they are barely potty trained, and school is a scary place.
so yeah, I'm supportive and nice. The school kicks butt on every test the state throws at it, but that's down the road. Three year olds need hugs, and snack time, naps, not academic pressure.

[LucyR]

Originally posted by Yahweh
4 elements... Air, fire, water, and wood... Thats when you ask the kids what the chemical equation of Sucrose is. That usually keeps them busy for a while.

"equation"?

[prettygirlsmakegrave]

I teach during the summers. During the school year I am still in school (highschool to tell the truth). This summer I am working in a 1st and 2nd grade classroom. These kids are behind and it is a really intense summer school program. Some of these kids are so frustrating. A few days ago completely randomly a little boy who is going into 3rd grader (an english language learner) interupts the game we were playing as a group and asks me "Why do they call it a living room? It isn't living is it?" This had to be the cutest moment. It was like a bad Seinfeld joke.

I will probably end up being a teacher but I think it will be really hard to teach in public schools. But I have to teach under-privilaged children and there aren't too many in private schools

[Shane Costello]

Two stories, one true, he other probably not.

Back in high school one of the domestic science classes in my year were given a mid-term test on house design, furnishing and plumbing. The students were asked to embellish the answer to one question with an appropriate diagram.

When it came to correcting the scripts the teacher was amazed to find a drawing of a pig in the answer to the aforementioned question. Utterly at odds to explain this porcine presence, there was nothing left to do but ask the student in question, who I may add didn't have a reputation as an academic big hitter.

What happened was this. The exam paper was a photocopy of a handwritten list of exam questions, and the teacher had abbreviated diagram to "dig.". It wasn't that the teacher's handwriting was illegible, but this girl thought that "draw a dig." meant "draw a pig." This really happened.

The second is an urban legend (probably) doing the rounds of the Irish university system. Of course, I've met people who swear that this actually happened, having been told by a friend whose sister heard from someone else who............

Anyway the scene is a physiology lecture on the human reproduction system. The lecturer informs the class that semen consists mainly of carbohydrates and sugars that nourish the sperm. One young lady raises her hand and asks "Then why does it taste salty?" A few seconds stunned silence was broken by gales of laughter.

[kittynh]

Before we judge these "stupid" students too sharply, here is a bit from an autobiography I was reading.

"I should have liked to be asked to say what I knew. They always tried to ask what I did not know. When I would have willingly displayed my knowledge, they sought to expose my ignorance. This sort of treatment had only one result: I did not do well on examinations.
This was especially true of my Entrance Examination to Harrow. The Headmaster, Dr.Weldon, however, took a broad-minded view of my Latin prose; he showed descernment in judging my general ability. This was the more remarkable, because I was found unable to answer a single question in the Latin paper. I wrote my name at the top of the page. I wrote down the number of the question '1'. After much reflection I put a bracket round it thus '(1)'. But thereafter I could not think of anything connected with it that was either relevant or true. Incidentally there arrived from nowhere in particular a blot and several smudges. I gazed for two whole hours at this sad spectacle; and then merciful ushers collected my piece of foolscap with all the others and carried it up to the Headmaster's table. It was from these slender indications of scholarship that Dr.Welldon drew the conclusion that I was worthy to pass into Harrow. It is very much to his credit."

Who wrote this? And what was the learning disability that he suffered from?

[Jeff Corey]

I reach a required Experimental Psych course. A prerequisite is Stat. P get a lot of, "Why do we have to learn this stuff, I want to be a clinical psychologist."
So I tell them to change their major to Sociology and try for a M.S.W. with can lead to licensing in NY.

As to the quote about, I would have guessed Steven Hawkings, but he did not have a learning disability.

[Chanileslie]

Originally posted by Thumper
I taught 8 years in a private high school. I have no stories to share. (At least none of which I can think at this moment.)

I now teach in a major American university.

One paper I received from this one group of students had approximately 50 grammar and spelling errors on it. The paper was 4 pages long. I had to set it down and come back to it three times before I could finish it.

The sad thing is that it was not unique.

A lecture on the first day about spelling and grammar will definitely be in order next semester!

I used to tutor English at the College level, and it was appalling how bad these students wrote, and then when I corrected them or explained simple rules, so many would argue with me, and state that it didn't really matter.

My 13 year old writes a much more cohesive and cogent paper than many of my tutees. It is rather sad.

I, in my every day life, deal with full grown adult in a business environment, and the poor writing skills that many have, is absurd. Especially since many of these individuals have attended college. I had one woman in my department who claimed to have graduated from UCLA, and she didn't know what plagerism was nor the rules that pertained to it, and she would become completely indignant when I would correct her horrible grammar! <sigh>

On the other hand, I admit that when it comes to proper writing and speaking, I am a maritnet! My children are not allow to be sloppy in their speech or writing, and "ain't" is not a word used in this house in a serious manner! Also, the use of double negatives - nothing makes one sound more ignorant than the use of double negatives, IMHO! Oh well.

Okay, I am done now. This is a pet peeve. <climbs off soap box>

[Chanileslie]

Originally posted by Yahweh
Inspired by the "Just Follow Directions" thread and the posts made by PygmyPlaidGiraffe.

As a teacher, my students dont appear to be at the sharpest marbles. Every year I am bombarded with the stupidest most god-awful things I've ever heard in my life. The things my TA's and I put up with can only be described as "punitively damaging". My students are titans of ignorance. Sure, they can handle their "trees fall and no one can hear them" but when it comes to "how do you know your are not dreaming right now" they become mindless.

I'm known for butchering the English language in my classroom. Oops, my bad. I forgot the serious sin of "double negatives".
"Mr. Christian, you just said 'It dont got nothing to do with chance'. Then apparently it does have something to do with chance."
Use some common sense you idiots. You know what I meant.

<snip>

"Mr. Christian, you just used the word 'ain't'. 'Ain't' isn't actually a word".
So, I dont care. Did my use of the "aint" prevent you from understanding me.

<snip>

Okay, much of your post, I understand your frustration, but these are things I don't get how you can call you students ignorant and idiots for correcting *YOU*, the teacher, who should know better and at least attempt to speak well. Yes, your bad, and I have every sympathy for your students. I understand why they seem to show you so little respect.

Also from you post, it appears to me that you have little like or understanding of the children who you teach. This is sad for an instructor, and even sadder for the children who have to deal with such an instructor.

Sometimes, you reap what you sow.

[kittynh]

well, not many guesses.

It was written by a man who recently won a poll on who was the most important Englishman.

And he suffered from dyslexia.

[Yahweh]

Originally posted by Chanileslie


Okay, much of your post, I understand your frustration, but these are things I don't get how you can call you students ignorant and idiots for correcting *YOU*, the teacher, who should know better and at least attempt to speak well. Yes, your bad, and I have every sympathy for your students. I understand why they seem to show you so little respect.

Also from you post, it appears to me that you have little like or understanding of the children who you teach. This is sad for an instructor, and even sadder for the children who have to deal with such an instructor.

Sometimes, you reap what you sow.
I'm not in the least bit frustrated. I'm amused by petty and pointless questions. The fact is, I love my students. The class is fun. I have a very sarcastic and negative sense of humor (which the kids like). I can be goofy when I feel like it.

Oops, my bad, I came off far more harsh than I intended.

As for respect, I get no more, no less than than any other teacher. Sometimes you get your "smartasses" who think insulting the teacher is funny. Silently, I laugh inside my head because some of the remarks legitimately are funny... other times the unecessary "I dont care" and laughing silently is obviously unfunny. In my class, I am all for humor. Otherwise I'm boring the kids. I know what bored kids look like, I've seen a computer class.

Overall, I have a generally pessimistic attitude. Some legitimately want to take my class, but the majority of the them will never admit this but they only take my class because the other kids say its an easy 2 credits. Its the same reason why the kids who dont take my class take the "world religions" course or the "sociology" course. That sociology teacher is far more boring than I would be if I was teaching that class.

Are the kids in any way negatively affected by my class... of course. By the end of the first 2 weeks of class, a lot them become arrogant. They think they can philosophize on any subject... its been 2 weeks. All they've learned is the class curriculum and the "Logical Contradictions" method. No worries, that arrogance dissappears after the first month. If you notice, most of the kids who take a debate or a public speaking class tend to come off a little more arrogant than those who dont take the class.

My class isnt an integral core part of the educational acedemic curriculum. Its about as important as a foreign language class. My kids seem to enjoy my teaching, they like the class, they really do learn a lot more than what I credit when I talk about them.

I'm a good teacher. I know this because my students tell me I am. Philosophically, They say, therefore I am.

[athon]

Originally posted by Shane Costello
Anyway the scene is a physiology lecture on the human reproduction system. The lecturer informs the class that semen consists mainly of carbohydrates and sugars that nourish the sperm. One young lady raises her hand and asks "Then why does it taste salty?" A few seconds stunned silence was broken by gales of laughter.

I'm not sure of whether this is a situation that has occured in different places or not, but I can 100% vouch for it having occured in 1994 at QUT in one of my life-science tutorials. I know this because I was sitting directly behind the girl who asked it. We later became good friends (now get those dirty thoughts out of your heads....I know what you're thinking!). And it wasn't for show - she was so embarrassed (not the sharpest tool in the shed, mind you), she ran out of the room close to tears.

Mind you, we all thought it was pretty funny.

I got pretty angry when I later shared that story, only to be told it was an urban myth. So whether the story spread (I'd doubt it), or it has happened elsewhere, or what, I don't know.

But it did happen!



Athon

[athon]

I'm one of those frustrated teachers working in a system and a society that does no support education. The latest debate around these parts involves how pointless the teaching profession is. We get paid too much, don't work a full year like other professions and should be baby-sitting - er, 'educating' - society's children for longer hours.

Then the system itself aims at pumping students into tertiary courses they don't have the ability to do...hmph, don't get me started.

But to be honest I love my job. Why? Because 90% of my kids are passionate, headstrong and curious human beings who I love talking to. I learn so much from them, it's scary.

Like Yaweh, I also get some pretty good feedback. Just today I was told by another teacher that a student wanted to be in my class because he thought I was a pretty cool teacher. That gives you a real buzz.

I know I'll burn out in less than five years, hence I'm already looking to my next profession. But for people who are wired for it, teaching can be pretty rewarding.

Athon

[Yahweh]

Originally posted by kittynh
well, not many guesses.

It was written by a man who recently won a poll on who was the most important Englishman.

And he suffered from dyslexia.
Dyslexia makes you no less important...

The most important Englishman that I can think of is that lovable Benny Hill. *Benny Hill Theme Music Plays* Woohoo! He keeps patting that old mans head, and chasing around the pretty women, dont he know thats rude. Slapstick humor... good fun.

[kittynh]

OK OK... this should have been EASY!




to be honest the only reason he got into Harrow was that his dad was a famous politician. He decided to go into the military though he eventually followed in his father's footsteps.

Dyslexia never held him back, or a fondness for an occasional drink.

[Jeff Corey]

My newborn son looked like him without the cigar.

[Brown]

As a former teaching assistant, one of my responsibilities was to grade homework. The official policy of the class was that each student should do his own work. There should be no copying from other students' work, nor should there be copying of solutions from previous years' homeworks.

It was usually pretty easy to spot the cheaters. My typical procedure was to write a little warning on the homework, to the effect of "I'm on to you; you should do your own work," and not take action unless the conduct was repeated.

Five students stood out as exceptionally bad cheaters. One of them copied homework solutions, equation for equation, from the previous semester's homework. As if that wasn't bad enough, she also copied the solutions to two problems that weren't assigned that semester (but were assigned the previous semester), and failed to provide any solution to one problem that had been assigned (but had not been assigned the previous semester).

The other four bad cheater had formed a study group. There is nothing wrong with that, but they copied each other's work verbatim, including all the mistakes. In an answer to one homework problem, all four of them made the same bone-headed mistake, which was something like: 6 + 2 = 8.2. I would have thought that at least one of them, in the course of copying, would have realized that this math was faulty.

[Yahweh]

One of the most dissappointing things is when a student gets lazy and fills in all the bubbles on the test "C". If its a fill in the blank test the student may put "???" or sarcastic responses for every answer.

Their excuse for intentionally failing the test is usually varied.
"Umm, I didnt study."
My tests arent really that hard. Especially if you take good notes.

"I didnt know the answers"
This is philosophy. It takes common sense and minimal critical thought. It would have been better to guess.

"My [close relative, usually a grandparent or a pet] died recently."
Honestly, there is nothing I can do. I dont have a policy to excuse students in this situation. The most that can be done is to get a Crisis Slip (or whatever theyre called) from the Counselor before you take the test, otherwise I cant excuse the test. Honestly, I've known kids who have lied about dead parents.

"The test was really really hard"
Some things dont come easily for some people. There is nothing I can do in this situation. (Its an excuse for "I'm a little dim")

"I didnt want to take it."
[Negative Tone]Now that is just pathetic.[/Negative Tone]

[aerosolben]

Originally posted by kittynh
Well, maybe it's the NEw ENgland accent, but orange comes out R-range.

Wha-hey!?

The New England accent I know (and even use, on occasion) de-emphasizes r's. The-ah's a fi-ah in the bahn. Oahnge. Is your neck of Vermont the center of a crazy language bubble in space-time?

Of course, the child would learn the letter R as 'ah', which could be construed as starting 'oahnge' (or even 'ahnge', as the case may be).

[LW]

Originally posted by Yahweh
One of the most dissappointing things is when a student gets lazy and fills in all the bubbles on the test "C". If its a fill in the blank test the student may put "???" or sarcastic responses for every answer.

I actually prefer an empty paper to two or three pages long series of wild guesses. I don't hate anything more than having to read through a two-page answer to a question that could be answered with one or two paragraphs trying to see if the student has anything even remotely correct in it.

Many of the smaller (1-2 credit) introductionary level courses in our university are such that you can almost pass them with high-school knowledge. Almost meaning that you have to study only for evening or two to get a passing grade (though it won't be good). However, that doesn't work so well on our course. Sure, there are people who have managed to pass after only few hours of study, but the vast majority of those who try it will fail. Some do it multiple times before they realise that they have to do at least some work to pass it.

[UnrepentantSinner]

Originally posted by aerosolben


Wha-hey!?

The New England accent I know (and even use, on occasion) de-emphasizes r's. The-ah's a fi-ah in the bahn. Oahnge. Is your neck of Vermont the center of a crazy language bubble in space-time?

Of course, the child would learn the letter R as 'ah', which could be construed as starting 'oahnge' (or even 'ahnge', as the case may be).

Actually as I'm reading "Oahnge" aloud in my mind it's pure southern. "Y'all want sum oahnge juice?" Straight out of Georgia or South Carlina.

[Yahweh]

Originally posted by UnrepentantSinner


Actually as I'm reading "Oahnge" aloud in my mind it's pure southern. "Y'all want sum oahnge juice?" Straight out of Georgia or South Carlina.
Y'all got to 'ppreciate Southern Hospitality.

(I have full rights to say that. Ups to Yahweh. From the South, born and raised.)

[kittynh]

I teach younger grades, so maybe I'm traiined to ask myself, "Why?" when I deal with a child that is "dim". Home situation? Learning disability? Brain tumor?(in one case the answer was YES, saved the kids life by just noticing he was regressing) or just plain not that bright.

My daughter, who has dyslexia (along with Mr.Churchill, and Walt Disney...) works harder than any child in her class. She puts in more hours for homework, and tutors for 10 hours a week on top of class time. She also tutors all summer, including an intensive 3 week 6 hours a day program. But, she writes stuff and sometimes says stuff that would be thought of as "stupid". She recently read "101 Dalmnations" as "110 Damnations". We laugh a lot.

[Jeff Corey]

I assume that you have done extensive reading on dyslexia. I know I would have done even more than I did if one of my kids were diagnosed with it.
But letter or number reversals do not seem to be at the heart of the matter. It seems to be a problem converting visual stimuli into appropriate phonological representations.
I remember going to the Bronx Zoo as a kid and seeing Great Apes as Eat Crapes.
But then again, I'm left handed.

[kittynh]

I've read a lot about dyslexia. There is a ton of woowoo stuff out there too. People who claim to "cure" or "retrain" the brain. Yale down the road is a great source of good information. My daughter even went down there for a brain scan, and she uses different parts of the brain to read than your "control" child. The new tutoring includes using technology to enable the child to function better in the school and world. Rather than expecting the child to read "War and Peace", it's read to the child over the internet. TEchnology is great (if expensive):rolleyes:

[arcticpenguin]

Could someone please describe to me a situation in which a student would be needfully stupid?

[Mercutio]

Originally posted by arcticpenguin
Could someone please describe to me a situation in which a student would be needfully stupid? Hmmm....
maybe to avoid embarrasing a fellow student who was needlessly stupid? "Hey, I make that mistake, too...Frood, Froid, how am I supposed to know how to pronounce 'Freud'?":rolleyes:

[Jeff Corey]

Originally posted by Mercutio
Hmmm....
maybe to avoid embarrasing a fellow student who was needlessly stupid? "Hey, I make that mistake, too...Frood, Froid, how am I supposed to know how to pronounce 'Freud'?":rolleyes:
And I thought it was pronounced "fraud".

[aerosolben]

Originally posted by UnrepentantSinner
Actually as I'm reading "Oahnge" aloud in my mind it's pure southern. "Y'all want sum oahnge juice?" Straight out of Georgia or South Carlina.

I guess they are pretty similar. Having lived in both the South and the North, the best distinction I can come up with is that the initial vowel sounds for the southern version is an open "ah"/"oh" sounds, while the northern version is more "ah" verging on "eh". Not much different.

[Yahweh]

Originally posted by arcticpenguin
Could someone please describe to me a situation in which a student would be needfully stupid?
Needlessly Stupid:

Teacher: ... that is why philosophy is built upon logical contradictions rather than empirical hypothesis.

Student: I wanna fart.

Teacher: While you may want to fart, would you mind explaining why you had to announce that to the class.

Student: Cuz it's funny.

Teacher: I dont believe you needed to announce it. It is entirely unrelated to what we are discussing [student farts] right now.

Student: Oh man! Did you see that guys! I cant believe I timed that so good.

Aside from the grammatical errors, I think it's plain to see that the student is acting needlessly stupid.


Needfully Stupid:

Teacher: ... that is why philosophy is built upon logical contradictions rather than empirical hypothesis.

Student: What are "empirical hypothesis". Is that like the Empire of China?

Teacher: Actually, the word you are thinking of is "imperial" spelled with an "I" which refers to "conquering" or "ruling over" territory. Empirical with an "E" refers to observing the results of an action. It is related to experimentation by trial-and-error (such as putting your hand on a burner to see if it is hot or recently used).


Therefore, "needfully stupid" implies intellectual intent and/or had some relevance to the discussion. "Needfully Stupid" students want to learn. They are (or should be) no longer "stupid" but become "educated" after they pass the class.

[Yahweh]

Originally posted by Jeff Corey

And I thought it was pronounced "fraud".
I solved the problem by pronouncing it "Sigmund"...

[DeathToSophists]

Adults are generally easier to teach than kids, but this doesn't hold true with computers.

My lab is open to the general public right before class, and I have to boot out the hangers on with a great deal of firmness.

Last Friday, one of these hangers on was in a panic over an e-mail. I said: "You can go ahead and finish what you're doing, but I need the lab for my class"

"Help me!" she said.
"Whats the problem?" I ventured helpfully.
"I can't send or save this e-mail!" I walked over and glanced at her desktop. In the address line of the e-mail was an actual street address. I'm well known for being a patient, non-patronizing sort, but I found myself biting back laughter.
"You need to put an e-mail address in that line."
"Whats that?"
"You have an e-mail account, and you're in it right now. :rolleyes: In order to send that, you need to put in a user name followed by an @whatever dot com. Just like what you registered to get your account"
"But I don't want to send it now".
"I thought you said you were having difficulty sending it"
"Well, I AM going to send it, but I need to print it first."
"Do you mean you want to physically send this?"
"Yes."
"Why don't you just type it up in Word?
"Oh...thats too hard."

I found out that she had been using e-mail as a wordprocessor for some time; she refused to believe that messages were actually sent electronically. She typed out a message and printed it, affixed a stamp...that was e-mail.

[Flo]

Originally posted by arcticpenguin
Could someone please describe to me a situation in which a student would be needfully stupid?

Pseudostupidity (http://home.olemiss.edu/~djr/pages/writer/books/html/addictions/pdr-pse.html) ?

[Kevin_Lowe]

Offhand I can think of two reasons students are deliberately stupid.

One is when the student is smart enough to know you are wasting their time. Like the earlier example of the kid that was getting 97% on tests being made to do homework: A kid that smart knows that you are wasting their valuable time, and they shouldn't be in that class.

I know I put up with way too much of that as a child. I rebelled a few times, but I should have stood up to that kind of idiocy more often and more vigorously. Oh well - it's easy to be courageous with hindsight.

The other is when the student is too dumb to understand the class content and not brainwashed enough to sit still while you waste their valuable time. Kids like that just shouldn't be in that class either.

Kids are not irrational. If they think something is worth paying attention to, they will pay attention. If they don't, they won't. The kids that are too smart or too dumb will get nothing out of the class and have no motivation to play the game.

[Skat Bo]

And of your students aren't challenged enough, than you should try harder to impress upon them that they don't know everything, Yahweh. I know someone who looks at things philosophicaly, and he never feels he's wrong. Try to debate him, you lose. He talks you into corners too, ba*****. :), if he had a teacher like you, he might be able to discuss with you like an equal, really debating you and getting to the bottom of his arguments, possibly learning more than the rest of your class because of it.

And for the slow ones, just joke with them - they're stuck with you as much as you are with them, so might as well make some friends (and bodyguards).

[Yahweh]

Philosophy is not a class about debating (that doesnt mean theres never been at least few good ones). Its a class about learning how to understand using logic. No one is really fast or slow in my class. Philosophy is an amazingly easy topic to discuss and pick up. I make my class fun. Its a "playful" (for lack of better words) class.

[gnome]

Originally posted by athon
I'm not sure of whether this is a situation that has occured in different places or not, but I can 100% vouch for it having occured in 1994 at QUT in one of my life-science tutorials. I know this because I was sitting directly behind the girl who asked it. We later became good friends (now get those dirty thoughts out of your heads....I know what you're thinking!). And it wasn't for show - she was so embarrassed (not the sharpest tool in the shed, mind you), she ran out of the room close to tears.

Mind you, we all thought it was pretty funny.

I got pretty angry when I later shared that story, only to be told it was an urban myth. So whether the story spread (I'd doubt it), or it has happened elsewhere, or what, I don't know.

But it did happen!

This caught my attention... if it truly did happen it is an example of "ostention" where an established legend coincidentally becomes true.

http://www.snopes.com/college/sex/salty.htm

Their story was collected in 1993 off the internet, and was recalled as being "from the 80s."

However, they mention that they have heard many claims from people to have been present for such an incident.

I would wonder if your recollection of the incident has slightly morphed as a result of exposure to the legend...

For example, did she really run from the room? This is an element very common in urban legends but less so in reality, I am led to believe.

Excuse my curiosity, I don't mean to doubt you but the subject (UL's) fascinates me. If there was something about it that might be especially convincing it could wind up on their page as a case of ostention.

[Tony]

Originally posted by kittynh

"I should have liked to be asked to say what I knew. They always tried to ask what I did not know. When I would have willingly displayed my knowledge, they sought to expose my ignorance. This sort of treatment had only one result: I did not do well on examinations.
This was especially true of my Entrance Examination to Harrow. The Headmaster, Dr.Weldon, however, took a broad-minded view of my Latin prose; he showed descernment in judging my general ability. This was the more remarkable, because I was found unable to answer a single question in the Latin paper. I wrote my name at the top of the page. I wrote down the number of the question '1'. After much reflection I put a bracket round it thus '(1)'. But thereafter I could not think of anything connected with it that was either relevant or true. Incidentally there arrived from nowhere in particular a blot and several smudges. I gazed for two whole hours at this sad spectacle; and then merciful ushers collected my piece of foolscap with all the others and carried it up to the Headmaster's table. It was from these slender indications of scholarship that Dr.Welldon drew the conclusion that I was worthy to pass into Harrow. It is very much to his credit."

Who wrote this? And what was the learning disability that he suffered from?

I believe this is from "Churchill: A Life" by Martin Gilbert.

[Hypocolius]

Originally posted by kittynh


Who wrote this? And what was the learning disability that he suffered from?

Churchill of course. Clearly not many Brits reading this thread as it's one of the best known anecdotes about him.

[Azathoth]

I don't want to go into the many lame excuses I've heard or flagrant cheating I've discovered, but as for 'stupidity', one of my favorite stories is from when I was a Physics TA.
A student couldn't solve a problem because there appeared to be missing information. It involved the rotation of the Earth, but no hard data was given. The ensuing Socratic dialogue went something like this:

Student: But what's the angular velocity of the earth?
Azathoth: Well, what is the period of the Earth's rotation?
S: I don't know that!
A: Sure you do... How long does it take for the earth to complete one rotation?
S: I don't know!
A: Well.... what's it called when the earth turns around once?
S: Ummmm....
A: We're standing on the earth, and as it turns, we see different things, right?
S: Ummmm....
A: What do you call it when the earth is turned so that you can't see the sun anymore?
S: Ummmm.... an eclipse?

I couldn't help breaking into laughter.

I recently taught for a year at a Catholic girls' high school (No, this is not a Penthouse letter). Nearly all the students were abysmally prepared in math. I understand that the Catholic K-8 schools hardly even bother to teach math, and it showed. I'd say that a sizeable fraction of the seniors in the regular physics classes couldn't reliably solve a linear equation.

My girlfriend has a lot of more amusing stories of when she taught History. A bungled equation is just a bungled equation, but getting an essay in which the ancient Egyptians are described as Christian is golden.
I think her favorite was a map test, where the students had to match placenames with numbered dots on a map of the Mediterranean. One person had located Mecca in Sicily. I like to imagine the devout Muslims going on the hajj, riding their sea-going camels.

As much as I know that my education doesn't match that of 1900, when every college graduate knew classical Latin and Greek, I know that the generation after me seems to be even more badly prepared. Poor preparation and lowered standards seem to feed off each other, and now college has basically turned into high school.

[Sundog]

Originally posted by Chanileslie


I used to tutor English at the College level, and it was appalling how bad these students wrote, and then when I corrected them or explained simple rules, so many would argue with me, and state that it didn't really matter.



:roll: :roll: :roll: :id:

Oh my. Rosencranz, is your award still alive?

[Eos of the Eons]

Originally posted by DeathToSophists
Adults are generally easier to teach than kids, but this doesn't hold true with computers.

My lab is open to the general public right before class, and I have to boot out the hangers on with a great deal of firmness.

Last Friday, one of these hangers on was in a panic over an e-mail. I said: "You can go ahead and finish what you're doing, but I need the lab for my class"

"Help me!" she said.
"Whats the problem?" I ventured helpfully.
"I can't send or save this e-mail!" I walked over and glanced at her desktop. In the address line of the e-mail was an actual street address. I'm well known for being a patient, non-patronizing sort, but I found myself biting back laughter.
"You need to put an e-mail address in that line."
"Whats that?"
"You have an e-mail account, and you're in it right now. :rolleyes: In order to send that, you need to put in a user name followed by an @whatever dot com. Just like what you registered to get your account"
"But I don't want to send it now".
"I thought you said you were having difficulty sending it"
"Well, I AM going to send it, but I need to print it first."
"Do you mean you want to physically send this?"
"Yes."
"Why don't you just type it up in Word?
"Oh...thats too hard."

I found out that she had been using e-mail as a wordprocessor for some time; she refused to believe that messages were actually sent electronically. She typed out a message and printed it, affixed a stamp...that was e-mail.


Hey, can I email that to a few people? It won't be a 'look how dumb this person is' scenario. Just a fun anecdote to add to some others.

[KelvinG]

Originally posted by Eos of the Eons



Hey, can I email that to a few people? It won't be a 'look how dumb this person is' scenario. Just a fun anecdote to add to some others.

Personally I think it plays better as a "look how dumb this person is" scenario.:D

[Eos of the Eons]

:D


Yeah, and there are other scenarios where things should be obvious. There's a news story about a mom who left her two kids in the bath tub and went outside to talk to a neighbor (one under 1, the other around two but handicapped) and claims she didn't know they could drown after she found them dead. Didn't see if she was charged with anything like child neglect.

Some people are just stupid, but that stupid??

The story was sent with this

"it reminds us how pre-conceptions can lead to confusion and 'difficulty' "

so not to be too harsh. It's got to be good for a lot of laughs.