Know Your Democrat FrontRunners

[corplinx]

This is a quick and easy guide to your democratic primary candidates. Enjoy.

Howard Deans: Whatever Bush is for, Deans thinks it is wrongheaded and misguided and will destroy the country.

John Kerry: Everyone's dream candidate. Him running would pit new England Aristocracy versus Texas Oil Barons. Everyone loves a battle of the rich and powerful. Whatever Bush is for, Kerry is both for and against depending on the audience.

Joe Lieberman: If you want a president who will blow stuff up, he is your alternative to Bush. The difference between them is, the Daily Show thinks Lieberman is cool and thinks Bush is an idiot.

Dick Gephardt: Whatever Bush does is wrongheaded and misguided except when he blows stuff up. Every policy Bush makes negatively affects his mother or some anonymous man on the street who confides his misery in Gephardt. He is the missing counterpart to Russian President Putin who would ensure that political humor turns into flatulence jokes.

[corplinx]

I left out John Edwards, but I couldn't bring myself to acknowledge that a bottom feeding ambulance chaser is a serious contender for either party's candidate.

[jj]

I see your "Big Lie" is starting early this time. Joey G would be proud of you.

[swellman]

You left out the most colorful candidates (i.e. the ones who can't win):

Dennis Kucinich - AKA Dennis the Menace. Steered the city of Cleveland into default in 1978 while mayor. Long time strong pro-life voting record who recently "reconsidered his position" after speaking to the women in his life. The fact that the timing this change of view closely tracks his decision to run for the White House is strictly coincidental. And anyone who says different is a facist.

Added bonus: Once stated that he believed he had met actress Shirley MacLaine in a previous life.

Al Sharpton - If you like your politics loud and angry, he's your man. Al's motto is any political thought that can't be shouted through a bullhorn is not worth having.

Bob Graham - Another Senator eyeing the White House. Like most of them, probably won't happen, but he's always likes to be available for the VP slot. He did sign a lot of death warrants while Gov. of Florida. But that's in the past. Until after the Democratic convention, if it comes to that.

Carol Moseley Braun - Sorry, too late. Has left the building.

[corplinx]

Originally posted by jj
I see your "Big Lie" is starting early this time. Joey G would be proud of you.


What part of poking fun at the primaries constitutes a "Big Lie" in your opinion?

[specious_reasons]

Originally posted by swellman
You left out the most colorful candidates (i.e. the ones who can't win):

(snip)

Carol Moseley Braun - Sorry, too late. Has left the building.

Braun's already out? Aww man!

Honestly, I don't know how she thought she could run for president, when she couldn't even get re-elected in her own state - a Democratic state.

[swellman]

Originally posted by specious_reasons


Braun's already out? Aww man!

Honestly, I don't know how she thought she could run for president, when she couldn't even get re-elected in her own state - a Democratic state.

Technically, she is still in the race, but I hear she had to dismiss her paid staff and is now relying totally on volunteers. Will run out of cash anyday now. Hence my tongue-in-cheek comment.

[ManCow]

Sen. Joe Biden and Gen. (ret.) Wesley Clark are two that might just pull the trigger and enter into this thing as well.

[corplinx]

Personally, I think these guys have to worry about a pro 2nd amendment democrat like Zel Miller joining the race and sweeping the primaries. While Deans and others split the votes of the die hards, Miller could get the rest and take it.

[c0rbin]

I know he is not a Democrat, but certainly opposition (I mean if you are going to throw Al Sharpton's name around), but is Ralph Nader still around?

[corplinx]

Originally posted by c0rbin
I know he is not a Democrat, but certainly opposition (I mean if you are going to throw Al Sharpton's name around), but is Ralph Nader still around?

Nader is around and has suggested running as a republican to shake things up.

[ManCow]

corplinx...

I've seen Miller's name tossed about for the Presidential Primaries...but it seems like he's getting more attention as a VP candidate.

BTW, it's Howard Dean. I thought it was a typo at first when I saw you had typed Deans. Also, while Dean is portraying himself as part of the Democratic wing of the Democratic party (i.e. liberal), his record as Governor of Vermont paints a little different picture. He was known as a fiscal conservative and pro gun rights governor. He did legalize civil unions though, which is a very strong lean to the left that recognizes homosexual couples mainly for tax break purposes.

[Dancing David]

Originally posted by specious_reasons


Braun's already out? Aww man!

Honestly, I don't know how she thought she could run for president, when she couldn't even get re-elected in her own state - a Democratic state.

Funny thing I think of Illinois as a Rebuplican state. (Oooh, CMB scary!)

Yeah Corplix, most of the candidates are pretty weak so far, I don't think they would haul out a retired Senator like Paul Simon.

I think that the real candidates are waiting so they don't blow there money early on.

[corplinx]

Originally posted by ManCow
He did legalize civil unions though, which is a very strong lean to the left that recognizes homosexual couples mainly for tax break purposes.

I don't consider that very leftist. Especially since Dick Cheney backed the idea on national television.

Its not an idea that sits well with the Pat Robertson wing of the GOP but I don't think its a clear left/right issue.

[hgc]

Originally posted by corplinx
I left out John Edwards, but I couldn't bring myself to acknowledge that a bottom feeding ambulance chaser is a serious contender for either party's candidate.
Any evidence for this, or is it just a little knee-jerk name calling for all personal-injury attorneys?

[specious_reasons]

Originally posted by Dancing David

Funny thing I think of Illinois as a Rebuplican state. (Oooh, CMB scary!)

Yeah Corplix, most of the candidates are pretty weak so far, I don't think they would haul out a retired Senator like Paul Simon.

I think that the real candidates are waiting so they don't blow there money early on.

I live in Cook county, I only see Republicans in the collar counties. :)

From what I've found, Illinois, across the state has a majority Republican almost everywhere except Cook. How much of a majority in those other counties I don't know.

My impression, statewide, was that Illinois would pick a moderate Republican over a liberal Democrat, but would pick a liberal Democrat over a conservative Republican.

I also got the impression that the race was Braun's to lose, which she did with alacrity. :)

[corplinx]

Originally posted by hgc

Any evidence for this, or is it just a little knee-jerk name calling for all personal-injury attorneys?

Knee-jerk name calling for all personal injury attorneys of course. Is slime by any other name not slime?