The Great Beatles Conspiracy

[DRBUZZ0]

It never fails to amaze me that one of the greatest conspiracies took place in front of the whole world and continues to take place for decades and few have noticed, despite the evidence.

Through inductive logic and trying to find every piece of evidence I can in every place it may or may not be, I have pieced together the story...



The Beatles were the highest grossing band of all time when they stormed the music scene in the 1960’s, and with such money and power the record companies could not afford to let a good thing go, even if a member of the band died.

Unfortunately, during tragedy struck when one night band member Paul McCartney was out to dinner with a meter maid he met named Rita. After he got the bill and Rita Paid it, he took her home and nearly made it. But he didn’t make it. He blew his mind out in a car. He hadn’t noticed that the lights had changed. A crowed of people stood and stared. They’d seen his face before.

Needless to say this threw the surviving Beatles for a loop. They were already almost finished with Rubber Soul and did not want to give up the gig which had gotten them so far. They secretly put Paul in a coffin and carried that weight; carried that weight a long time. To them, he was the Walrus, a Norse symbol of death. They came together, over him, and knew what they had to do.

They immediately began searching for a replacement.

Finally they found the one and only Billy Sheers. Billy Sheers was able to take on Paul’s identity. He had a very similar voice and with coaching and a beard to cover the differences in his face, he was able to slip by with a little help from his friends. It helped that the Beatles stopped playing live events.


Sheers continued to play with the Beatles and they got so cocky that they even started putting clues in their songs and all over their albums. After they broke up, they did not want to damage their credibility. Although the band was through, they all realized they had lucrative solo careers. Sheers continued to live under the name “Paul McCartney” and played with his band “Wings” and then solo, having several more hits. Then he stopped eating animal products and eventually married and divorced a one-legged woman.

And few even took notice…

[beachnut]

While my guitar gently weeps - clue or...

[Architect]

Is that why Heather is divorcing him, eh? And did he have Linda killed because she found out the truth?

[JAStewart]

Paul was supposed to be the one who died?

Wait, what? he's still alive, he played at live 8

[cloudshipsrule]

More clues and the conspiracy deepens:

http://www.turnmeondeadman.net/IBP/Fiction.php

[MG1962]

The truth revealed

http://www.iamthebeatles.com/article1044.html

[Architect]

he played at live 8


Is that the Shetland version of Live Aid? ;)

[Dr. Lao]

And in the end, he came in through the bathroom window with Polythene Pam, how could you laugh, when you know he's down?

[Pardalis]

I must say, even though I despise conspiracy theories, I always enjoyed that one. It's nonsense but it's one cool CT. :D

ETA: I remember in highschool my best friend, who is a Beatles aficionado, believed in it very much and studied it in great detail. I'm not a Beatles fan per say so I didn't care one way or the other but I enjoyed watching him get into this frenzy. Of course this lasted a year or so and he grew out of it.

Maybe the same thing will happen with the Twoofers, at least the adolescent ones. The ones who are 30 + I don't have much hope for.

[jhunter1163]

he came in through the bathroom window

Let's leave Joe Cocker out of this.

[DRBUZZ0]

Let's leave Joe Cocker out of this.

Dude... that's originally from Abbey Road

[Drudgewire]

Oh there's only website to go to for all the "Faul" kookiness you could ever ask for and much, much more. The "photographic evidence" is priceless.

http://digilander.libero.it/p_truth/ :boggled:

[Mancman]

They secretly put Paul in a coffin and carried that weight; carried that weight a long time.

Was the coffin made of Norweigan Wood?

Sorry, had to get a pun in, no matter how awful.

[jhunter1163]

Dude... that's originally from Abbey Road

I know. I was attempting to derail the thread, but apparently failed. Carry on.

[Retrograde]

Originally Posted by jhunter1163 http://forums.randi.org/helloworld2/buttons/viewpost.gif (http://forums.randi.org/showthread.php?p=2434261#post2434261)
Let's leave Joe Cocker out of this.

Dude... that's originally from Abbey Road

True, but good advice nonetheless.

BTW, this conspiracy theory was big in my high school back in 1969: why else would the Beatles be breaking up?

[Hokulele]

Hey Dude, don't make it bad . . .

[alexg]

I was a huge Beatles fan at the time the rumor started circulating, and I was quite young I should add. I worried about Paul being dead for a good long time! It seemd so unbelieveable that they could create a second Paul somehow who looked and sounded exactly like the first yet I wondered still. They had stopped touring and it seemed they were always in seclusion somwhere.

But then Life magazine tracked him down at his farm and took a bunch of pictures and somehow managed to convince me he was still alive but deep in my heart there is still this tiny doubt:D, very, very tiny, but once you buy into a theory like that you are scarred for life I guess.

[WildCat]

Let's leave Joe Cocker out of this.
The Beatles totally copied Joe Cocker.

[DRBUZZ0]

"Paul is dead" is my favorite example of a conspiracy theory which a lot of people took seriously and for which mountains of "evidence" have been produced despite being totally kooky.

[Rob Lister]

I killed paul.

[Dr. Lao]

I buried Cranberry Sauce

[Hutch]

I am actually Admiral Halsey.

[gumboot]

I am the walrus.

No, I mean, I actually am the walrus. The one in the song. They're talking about me...

-Gumboot

[GwionX]

I am afraid this theory doesn't stop with just the "Beatles" -- It is common knowledge that ALL rock and roll bands that want to be considered "immortal" or "one of the Classics" they have to sacrifice a member to the "crossroads" (proportedly run by Satan himself) in order to achieve their mystical infuence on the world's listeners.

Take a look at the list-- coincidence? With this much proof, you would be nutz to deny it!

Beatles-- Paul Mc cartney/ Billy Shears - John Lennon ( Double Fantasy? NO! double infulence)
The Who-- Keith Moon
The Rolling Stones -- Brian Jones (mick Jagger knew the pact with Satan, so he killed B.J.)
Pink Floyd-- Syd Barrett ( didn't die but was rendered inert)
Janice Joplin
Jimi Hendrix
Lynard Skynard-- Several band members ( multi-infulence-- particulary in the Southern USA)
AC/DC-- Bon Scott
Led Zepplin-- John Bonham
Ozzy Osbourne-- Randy Rhodes
Sex Pistols-- Sid Vicious
Queen-- Freddie Mercury
Metallica-- Cliff Burton
Nirvana -- Kurt Cobian
Alice in Chains -- Layne Staley
Blind Mellon-- Shannon Hoon
Buddy Holly and the Crickets-- Buddy Holly
Elvis --and all the mystery behind his death...
ETA: Doors-- Jim Morrison

If you look at ANY list of the most infuencial bands in Rock history you will find the above noted at the tops of ALL those lists.

This is irrefutable evidence that Rock and Roll is, in fact, the Devil.

and so is Foosball.

[JimBenArm]

I am actually Admiral Halsey.
I lived in a yellow submarine.

[Redtail]

I am afraid this theory doesn't stop with just the "Beatles" -- It is common knowledge that ALL rock and roll bands that want to be considered "immortal" or "one of the Classics" they have to sacrifice a member to the "crossroads" (proportedly run by Satan himself) in order to achieve their mystical infuence on the world's listeners.

Take a look at the list-- coincidence? With this much proof, you would be nutz to deny it!

Beatles-- Paul Mc cartney/ Billy Shears - John Lennon ( Double Fantasy? NO! double infulence)
The Who-- Keith Moon
The Rolling Stones -- Brian Jones (mick Jagger knew the pact with Satan, so he killed B.J.)
Pink Floyd-- Syd Barrett ( didn't die but was rendered inert)
Janice Joplin
Jimi Hendrix
Lynard Skynard-- Several band members ( multi-infulence-- particulary in the Southern USA)
AC/DC-- Bon Scott
Led Zepplin-- John Bonham
Ozzy Osbourne-- Randy Rhodes
Sex Pistols-- Sid Vicious
Queen-- Freddie Mercury
Metallica-- Cliff Burton
Nirvana -- Kurt Cobian
Alice in Chains -- Layne Staley
Blind Mellon-- Shannon Hoon
Buddy Holly and the Crickets-- Buddy Holly
Elvis --and all the mystery behind his death...

If you look at ANY list of the most infuencial bands in Rock history you will find the above noted at the tops of ALL those lists.

This is irrefutable evidence that Rock and Roll is, in fact, the Devil.

and so is Foosball.

It's not just Rock. Look at P funk.

Bootsie had to sacrifice Sir Nose
Rick James had to sacrifice pounds of coke
George Clinton Had to write songs for 75-80% of today's bands

[jaydeehess]

Last edited by GwionX : Yesterday at 09:05 PM. Reason: How could I have forgot Jim?

I grew increasingly impatient while reading the list until the last line.

I called Jim into the room and he was more than a little upset that you almost forgot him. I did manage to calm him down and convince him not to go all "Riders on the Storm" on your AS$$:D

[Whiplash]

All we need is woo...
All we need is woo...
All we need is woo... woo...
Woo is all we need.

[Brainache]

I don't really want to stop the show, but I thought y'all'd like to know That the singer from Joy Division died on April 18 1980. The band changed their name to.... NEW ORDER!!!!!!

[sophia8]

I grew increasingly impatient while reading the list until the last line.

I called Jim into the room and he was more than a little upset that you almost forgot him. I did manage to calm him down and convince him not to go all "Riders on the Storm" on your AS$$:DSo, J, you have accidentally revealed your true identity. You are Ray Manzarek!

(Ok, bad inside joke for Doors fans...)

[Darth Rotor]

I am the walrus.

No, I mean, I actually am the walrus. The one in the song. They're talking about me...

-Gumboot
Here's another clue for you all
The Walrus was Paul.

Anyway, I learned that when I was sittin' on a hole in the ocean . . .

DR

[Big Les]

The Beatles? The only conspiracy surrounding that bunch of nerks would be to explain why so many people think that today's music owes everything to them. It's two down and two to go as far as I'm concerned.

[brodski]

...snip...


The Beatles were the highest grossing band of all time when they stormed the music scene in the 1960’s, and with such money and power the record companies could not afford to let a good thing go, even if a member of the band died.

...snip...

This is why on the cover of Shabby Road “Paul” is bare legged, as “the dead don’t wear trousers”.

[Stellafane]

I have never fully recovered from listening to Revolution Number 9 in its entirety while stoned...

[SamanthaMc]

I have never fully recovered from listening to Revolution Number 9 in its entirety while stoned...

Ooh, I still skip Revolution #9! Scary!

The Beatles are my all-time favorite band, even though they broke up before I was even one. I had a great time back in the day playing Revolution #9 and the mumbling right before Blackbird backwards. I was a skeptic even back then so I didn't buy the hype, but it sure sounded like John said, "Turn me on, dead man," and "Paul is a dead man, miss him, miss him, miss him."

Wow, something interesting in the CT forum. Go figure!

[boooeee]

He has BARE FEET on the Abbey Road album cover. Wake up sheeple!

[skepticalcriticalguy]

Have you guys heard the CT about Jim Henson faking his death and becoming Jerry Garcia? The ultimate muppet!

They were friends. I think Henson might have done a video for the Dead; not sure. And remember, when Jerry came out of his coma he had lost a lot of weight, and had to relearn guitar; never was quite the same.

I'm looking into the timeline to see if Henson, who suddenly died of some weird virus, died about the time Garcia was coming out of his coma. Anybody want to help debunk it?

[gumboot]

I'm looking into the timeline to see if Henson, who suddenly died of some weird virus...


Called bacterial pneumonia? (Which isn't a virus).

Can you get anything right?

-Gumboot

[skepticalcriticalguy]

Called bacterial pneumonia? (Which isn't a virus).

Can you get anything right?

-Gumboot

Dude, chill. Do you ever relax?

[skepticalcriticalguy]

Called bacterial pneumonia? (Which isn't a virus).

Can you get anything right?

-Gumboot

The Henson/Garcia CT has been thoroughly debunked by Gumboot, within 5 minutes, because SKG said "virus" instead of "bacterial pneumonia." NEXT!

(I thought it was a humorous thread).

[DRBUZZ0]

He has BARE FEET on the Abbey Road album cover. Wake up sheeple!

He's also out of step with all the others. It's said that the beatles on the cover (by the way they are dressed) are the preacher, the grave digger, the paul barer and of course, the corpse