PDA

View Full Version : Mother In Law changes mind on Xianity


CynicalSkeptic
30th April 2007, 01:58 PM
Short version of the story:
My Mother-In-Law has recently confided in me that she no longer believes that Jesus is the Son of God, and she doesn't think she can call herself a Christian anymore. She likely believes that someone name Jesus existed, and taught some good things, but she doesn't accept the resurrection, virgin birth, or any of the other nonsense. She does still believe in some kind of Creator, so it seems to me that she's well on the road to Deism, if not already there. She also seems to believe that The Da Vinci code is credible or at least as credible as the Gospels. I don't think she's shared this with my (liberal Christian / Biologist) wife yet, so things may get interesting when she comes to visit next month.


All this from a woman who just two years ago insisted we get our baby daughter baptized and who stayed up nights holding said baby up to Jesus asking Him to save her. While she was no fundy, she was definitely a Believer, at least in the New Testament.

Ok, now for some background:
Our daughter has a genetic disorder called Tuberous Sclerosis (http://www.tsalliance.org/) (wife and I are negative, so it was a Random Mutation). As an Atheist, I accepted that this was just something ****** that happens in the universe. My wife, though a Biologist, didn't quite accept that, and thinks that God is somehow testing her. I'm not really sure what MIL thought about that whole thing from a religious perspective, but her fundy relatives believe that it was Jesus using our daughter as a tool to convert/save me. i.e. if I accept Jesus into my heart, He will cure her. That's right, our wonderful loving god ********** up my daughters life to prove that he wants me to return to the flock :boggled:. They also said that my wife's bloodline is cursed. MIL and wife are both on their 2nd marriages, and our daughter was conceived out of wedlock, so there's all sorts of biblical nonsense that speaks out against that.

Anyway, MIL has stayed with us on & off over the last two years and her and I have had decent, civil discussions about our (lack of) faith. My wife rarely participates in these discussions as any disagreement with her rapidly turns into an argument. MIL and I were once talking about creation/evolution, and my wife interrupted emphatically stating that evolution was "fact", and that's the "end of it" (remember, she's a biologist as well as a liberal Christian (can you say compartmentalization?)). Like I said, it should be very interesting when she comes to visit next.

Anyway, though I never explicitly tried to deconvert MIL, I'd like to that think that I did have some influence. Primarily, I showed her that atheists aren't all horrible immoral people who eat kittens, and drink blood. I also shared some of my rationalization for my own deconversion. I also think her family (the above mentioned fundies and her hypocritical husband) have shown her that just because one claims to be a Christian doesn't necessarily make him a good (moral) person.

thomps1d
30th April 2007, 02:14 PM
...Primarily, I showed her that atheists aren't all horrible immoral people who eat kittens, and drink blood. ...

Oh, sure...ruin it for those of us who are horrible immoral people. :mad:

In all seriousness, it's always nice to see when calm, reasoned discourse can steer someone in this sort of direction. I have in-laws who are veritable fountains of all sorts of woo, and I try to approach them in the same way you approached your MIL.

I don't know if I'll ever experience the sort of success you have enjoyed with your MIL, but I can always hope.

And in a worst case scenario, I always have the horrible immoral person thing going for me. That, and an inhuman capacity for coffee consumption. As far as I'm concerned, I've already come out ahead. :D

Orangutan
1st May 2007, 05:37 AM
That's good, But be sure to let he know that she is right about the The Da Vinci code being as credible or at least as credible as the Gospels. Because they are both works of fiction, and just because they both mention some real people organizations or events does not make the story true. It's no good if she replaces one fairy tale with another. That is the way to woo! You have to make sure she has critical thinking skills. Maybe you should talk about how important it is to think critically about things. Let her know about logical fallacies. appeal to emotion and appeal to authority would be a couple of good ones to start with.

Beerina
1st May 2007, 06:26 AM
She also seems to believe that The Da Vinci code is credible or at least as credible as the Gospels.

I also believe the Da Vinci Code is as credible as the Gospels.

:duck:

CynicalSkeptic
1st May 2007, 08:39 AM
That's good, But be sure to let he know that she is right about the The Da Vinci code being as credible or at least as credible as the Gospels. Because they are both works of fiction, and just because they both mention some real people organizations or events does not make the story true. It's no good if she replaces one fairy tale with another. That is the way to woo! You have to make sure she has critical thinking skills. Maybe you should talk about how important it is to think critically about things. Let her know about logical fallacies. appeal to emotion and appeal to authority would be a couple of good ones to start with.

Yeah, her critical thinking skills are a bit rustly, but maybe she's actually starting to apply them now. A few years ago, the family went to see David Copperfield in Vegas, and she believed that he actually transported himself to a Caribbean island as part of the show (that part was obviously pre-taped, and they just had a well-choreographed interaction between someone live on stage, and the video). Anyway after that experience, I had no hope for her though I still hold hope for my educated/intelligent wife (other than the fact that we can't talk about that kind of thing without it blowing up). It surprised me when she told me that she's changed her position, and yes when she mentioned the Da Vinci Code (she didn't actually mention the name of the book/movie, she just said something like "there's some research showing that Jesus may have slept with Mary Magdeline", and I immediately picked up on where she was getting her info), I worry about replacing one myth with another.

CapelDodger
2nd May 2007, 05:51 PM
It surprised me when she told me that she's changed her position, and yes when she mentioned the Da Vinci Code (she didn't actually mention the name of the book/movie, she just said something like "there's some research showing that Jesus may have slept with Mary Magdeline", and I immediately picked up on where she was getting her info), I worry about replacing one myth with another.

I don't see that as a danger - from this distance :) . I'm picking up signs of doubt, and doubt is good; what can we really know about Jesus, and why does any of it matter? Reinforce the doubt, share the doubt. Explore it together in a relaxed manner, when there's nothing better to talk about. Which there usually is.