the world in a thousand years

[Frostbite]

So what do you think the world will look like in a thousand years? A world dominated by mankind? By nature? Covered with ice? A deadly post-apocalyptic waste? Will all of the world's culture unify into one, or will a nation dominate all others? A whole planet speaking german, chinese or english?

Let your imagination run wild.

[Ian Osborne]

And I wonder,
Yes, I wonder,
Will Elvis take the place of Jesus in a thousand years?
Religious wars,
Barbaric laws,
Bloodshed worldwide over what's left of his myth...

Jello Biafira

[Dancing David]

Will they freak out over Y3K?

I think that by then the wotrld will basicaly look the same, the biota will be reditributed, but if we collapse the co-system it will be into it's recovery by that point.

Lets hope that it doesn't look like Star Trek Next Generation.

[Mercutio]

I predict a thousand-year-old respected major religion based on the teachings of the prophet John Edward.

And a minor, but vociferous and violence-prone, sect based on the teachings of Sylvia, whose last name by this time will have been forgotten.

The Catholic church will still be around, led by Pope Arcticpenguin XII.

Natural petroleum, having long since been prohibitively expensive to pump out and burn in internal combustion engines, has a new place in the sacrament. Creation Scientists, now the official advisors to the U.S. president, demonstrate that petroleum as "the bile of Christ" has healing powers and keeps believers regular.

The writings of the sage known only as "pillory" are as studied as the works of Nostradamus are today. "Pillory," rather than astrology, is taught in public school science classes, astrology having been subsumed under the umbrella of pillory, along with palmistry, tarot, and dowsing--but oddly enough, not tea-leaf reading.

The 63rd state, Bidlack (the 7th to have been formed via secession, the others having been annexed from Canada, Mexico, and New Zealand), is the only state not to have imposed capital punishment. In Bidlack, the only capital crime is unlicensed pillorism, and since licensure is bestowed upon "any person or persons treading upon the sacred soil of Bidlack", the statute is moot.

Shemp has eclipsed Larry, Curly and Moe as "most talented and handsome Stooge."

Congenital eyesight problems have arisen due to malnutrition. Homeopathic cures are in short supply, as all water has been diluted with all other water on the planet. Homeopathic scientists plan a mission to mine Mars for water.

Florida is a wholly-owned subsidiary of Disney. One unplanned benefit--no more elections.

RaptureReady is still waiting.

WWIII (the holy war) and WWIV (the war of the children) are eclipsed in memory by the "imposed peace" (pax plutonium).

The New York Times now has a comics section.

High-definition TV is replaced by holographic TV, which in turn is replaced by Hi-def Color Holo, which in turn is replaced by traveling bands of actors. In each case, the leading force in technological change is pornography.

Stories are still told about how charlatans who claimed to tell Randi's word from beyond the grave were exposed, shamed, and jailed by a man known only as "Lord Kenneth". This "Lord Kenneth" is known for this only as a side-story, though; his real claim to fame is his autobiographical account of his 77-year marriage. The worst that critics could say about this book was that they would miss "Romeo and Juliet", but that Lord Kenneth's story was the new standard by which love was measured. (An unfortunate aside--in comparing their own lives to his, readers inevitably fell short, and a rise in suicide rates prompted a surgeon general's warning not to read the book without the guidance of a qualified pillorist.)

Fox broadcasting empire is lambasted for its liberal slant.

New NFL rules permit linebackers to carry concealed weapons.

Bill Gates, in a tragic accident, is successfully thawed from cryogenic storage and restored to full health.

[Yahweh]

Assuming humans are still alive and populating the earth, I imagine 1000s of pissed off Christians saying "Where the Heck is that Rapture we been waiting for all this time... maybe tommorrow... nope... maybe tommorrow... nope... maybe...".

[The Fool]

Windows Xp service pack 392 released. Product still unstable.

[The Don]

England will be celebrating their second victory in an ashes series since Y2K

We will still be waiting for a first Wimbledon winner (since Saint Fred)

Middlesbrough FC will still be chasing that elusive first trophy

[Frostbite]

I'm thinking Starship Troopers. Mankind discovers intelligent life on some backyard planet somewhere and all cultures unite against this new threat. A 100 years war erupts, we lose and become slaves to work in fields and caves harvesting salt and sugar (the bugs LOVE sugar).

[Ipecac]

Just watch Futurama. They got it right.

[HarryKeogh]

everyone will be able to access the internet via a small chip implanted in their brain.

that way we'll always have easy access to porn and bulletin boards.

[Ladewig]

Some industries will use 7th generation programming languages which will write useable code from someone saying, "I need a report kinda like that other one - I don't know its name but it has the numbers adding across and down, you know, and showing those subtotals, but I need it like to be the other way on the page and it should have the numbers from whatever region Bob works in."
Other industries will still use COBOL.

[Reaver]

Apes will rule the world.

[Frostbite]

Actually, here's another cool twist: we reach a technological era where we're able to upload our consciousness in computers and adopt robotic bodies instead of our present biological ones. After a while, the human race splits in two: those who explore space and those who explore philosophy and logic. The spacers establish bases on other planets whereas the philosophers cut all bonds with the outside world. The philosophers bomb the Earth's atmosphere to create a Venus-like greenhouse effect and spend a thousand more years in their computer mainframe, thinking about the meaning of intelligent life and the origins of the universe. Meanwhile, the spacers colonize a quarter of the galaxy and come up with the same conclusions.

[Tez]

Originally posted by Reaver
Apes will rule the world.

You left out a "still"...

[Charlie Monoxide]

Aren't we suppose to be living the George Jetson lifestyle now according the Popular Mechanics circa late 50's, early 60's?

Try to influence future generations by leaving cryptic messages.

Charlie (A Canticle for Leibowitz) Monoxide

[Mercutio]

Originally posted by Charlie Monoxide
Aren't we suppose to be living the George Jetson lifestyle now according the Popular Mechanics circa late 50's, early 60's?

Try to influence future generations by leaving cryptic messages.

Charlie (A Canticle for Leibowitz) Monoxide
I forgot one--by then, Charlie (the new thousand-year-old man) Monoxide is down to two remaining parenthetical signatures.

Mer(it's all been done)cutio;)

[Suddenly]

A straight will beat a flush.

[sorgoth]

"Neural Overlays" have been completed. People's minds are connected, making it nearly impossible to tell whose thoughts are whose. The Neural Network, thus formed, would be connected to a supercomputer and the internet. With this shared human conciousness, and the supercomputer's ability to carry out the messages of the network, incredible advances are acheived. With the advances in nanotechnology and neurology, psychic powers are now a reality. A world wide instant communication network is acheived.

People may buy hard drives for memory. Teleportation is still in the early stages, as the wormholes are still unstable. Transport at 98% speed of light is possible. The construction of the Alpha Centauri Solar Captors is in it's 8th year. Due to severe energy constraints, what is the largest construction project in the history of mankind has begun, covering and entire star (At a distance of several thousand miles, or course), with solar panels. A group of volunteers have taken over the project, which is estimated to last a little over a century.

The anti matter bomb has been banned, and patrols to detect the beginnings of one are frequent. A single bomb could (and has) killed over a billion people, on the Chandelier Space Station.
Because of shortage of materials, laser use has been on the rise.
Asteroids have been converted to space stations.
Exportation of water from earth has been illegalised after the uncovering of the new continent,named Atlantis, as they couldn't agree on anything more fitting. No crystals were found. Snow is a legend to most earth children.

People in confined environments are operated from birth to destroy fertility, and may have the operation to allow childbearing...at a price. Giving birth is frowned upon, when done by either men or women, as the average life expextancy is 180 years. Suicide is the number one killer.

Clothing, when worn, is completely casual. Formal wear is a thing of the past. Comfort is the number one priority.

There were two artificial intelligence uprisings, one engineered by humans (and extinguished in kind), and the other on Space Station New Hope. The entire power grid was shut down, resulting in the death of 230 million people. There have been signs that the AI may have escaped and be hiding on an obscure server, making copies of itself, but these occurences may just be hoaxes, causing panic.

Homosexual relationships are regarded as normal. People who live on the internet have been unable to tell the difference between an AI child and a real one hooked up to the network 80% of the time. Language is simplified, and ideas are often transmitted instead of words. Drugs have been replaced by manipulation of the brain, allowing experiences beyond the man of 2000's imagination. Ultraviolet light is truly seen for the first time. The observers, of course, are unable to describe it. It's like describing red to a colourblind person.

[c4ts]

Headlines, 3003 AD

INTELLIGENT MACHINES TAKE OVER PLANET
Film at 11:00.

LOGICAL GODDESS SAYS "OBEY TLOP!"
Machines say "obey us instead!"

TELEPATHIC MONKEYS
The ultimate pet.

ALIENS TAKE OVER PLANET
Challenge intelligent machines to wrestling match.

STALIN AND HITLER CLONES TAKE OVER PLANET
Stalin and Hitler tag team beats aliens and robots.

H4XX0RZ 0WNZ0RZ T3H ST0KK M4RK3TZZ
Hacker spokesman says "you are on the way to destruction."

[calladus]

A thousand years from now humankind will be living exactly as predicted by the prophetic holy rock group RUSH, in their 2,112th sermon. Religious archeologists examining underwater runs of what was once California have found several of the holy RUSH's other sermons, but not all of them.

]
ATTENTION ALL PLANETS OF THE SOLAR FEDERATION
WE HAVE ASSUMED CONTROL[/B]


There are those who think that life has nothing left to chance,
A host of holy horrors to direct our aimless dance.
- RUSH

[Frostbite]

Future archeologists will debate wether these Californian ruins are the work of primitive men or the work of erosion. Geologists will give a name to a geological process which shapes things into sidewalks, bricks and McDonald's signs.

[T'ai Chi]

Originally posted by Frostbite
So what do you think the world will look like in a thousand years? A world dominated by mankind? By nature? Covered with ice? A deadly post-apocalyptic waste? Will all of the world's culture unify into one, or will a nation dominate all others? A whole planet speaking german, chinese or english?

Let your imagination run wild.

Nature will always rule, but without dominating.