Bible signed by Jesus Christ! Bid now!

[ksbluesfan]

Now is your chance to own a Bible signed by Jesus Christ! The shipping is only $3.50, so you better hurry!

From ebay (http://cgi.ebay.com/Bible-signed-by-Jesus-Christ_W0QQitemZ110130520271QQihZ001QQcategoryZ378 QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem)

[Kahalachan]

So did the author sign it or not?

Cause supposedly, Jesus = god and the Bible is god's word, but the gospels are people's accounts of Jesus.

Edit: I should ask Christians if the Bible is a biography or autobiography.

[shemp]

Such a deal!

[triadboy]

I need more information before I start bidding:

- Is this bible both the Old Testament and the New Testament? (That would make it even rarer)

- I would like to see Jesus' signature. I've seen it before - the "J", "H", and "C" were done with great flourish. Very distinctive. I'll know immediately if it is a fake.

[Lisa Simpson]

Yes, I need to see the signature as well. If it doesn't say Jesus Harold Christ, I'll know it's a fake.

[ksbluesfan]

Assuming the cover is also dated from 60 AD, they had a pretty good handle on the English language. Unless "Holy Bible" is the same in Aramaic.

[Cosmo]

The current bid is over $10.6 million... :eek:

[Yiab]

The current bid is over $10.6 million... :eek:

Yes, and the four people who have bid on it are "Bidder 1", "Bidder 2", "Bidder 3" and "Bidder 4". Current highest bid goes to "Bidder 3" who is the only one in that list who has ever bid on any other eBay item.
Smells like the seller is trying to inflate the price.

[Cosmo]

Yes, and the four people who have bid on it are "Bidder 1", "Bidder 2", "Bidder 3" and "Bidder 4". Current highest bid goes to "Bidder 3" who is the only one in that list who has ever bid on any other eBay item.
Smells like the seller is trying to inflate the price.

Plus the seller has 0 reputation. Sounds like a great auction. ;)

[Tricky]

Yes, I need to see the signature as well. If it doesn't say Jesus Harold Christ, I'll know it's a fake.
No, that's his dad. Ya know.

"Our Father who art in heaven,
Harold be thy name."

[Elizabeth I]

When my mom was a kid in deep South Texas, there was a 100,000-watt radio station across the Mexican border that apparently you could hear from Baja California to the Gulf of Mexico. One of their biggest advertisers was an American evangelist, and one of his biggest sellers was a "GIN-U-WINE autographed picture of JEE-SUS CHRIST!" Not a lie - it was a picture purporting to be of Jesus, signed by someone.

[bjornart]

So did the author sign it or not?

Cause supposedly, Jesus = god and the Bible is god's word, but the gospels are people's accounts of Jesus.

Edit: I should ask Christians if the Bible is a biography or autobiography.
The bible is a collection of Jesus fan-fiction, so having one signed by the main subject would make it worth a lot indeed.

[MelBrooksfan]

I wonder how much Jesus charges for his John Hancock.

[bjornart]

I wonder how much Jesus charges for his John Hancock.

John HanCock

Coincidence? :eek:

[MelBrooksfan]

John HanCock

Coincidence? :eek:

*Removes glasses* My god! The mormons may have been right! He really was in the U.S.!!

[wahrheit]

Check out the Questions & Answers for this item:

Q: Does this come with a Certificate of Authenticity from the signer?

A: Thank you for getting in touch. Unfortunately it does not come with a certificate as the signer is a tough cookie to track down.

:newlol

[ksbluesfan]

I'm too late. The bidding has ended. Which one of you paid $1,000,000 for this treasure?

[JimBenArm]

I did. Wrote them a check.
Maybe you can come see it when I get it!

[ksbluesfan]

I did. Wrote them a check.
Maybe you can come see it when I get it!

I live just around the corner from you. Let me know when it arrives.

;)

[Michael C]

The auction was ended because "The seller ended the listing early and cancelled all bids." No indication as to why: maybe the author demanded that the article should be removed?

[triadboy]

I need more information before I start bidding:

- Is this bible both the Old Testament and the New Testament? (That would make it even rarer)

- I would like to see Jesus' signature. I've seen it before - the "J", "H", and "C" were done with great flourish. Very distinctive. I'll know immediately if it is a fake.

I'm sorry - I just realized people in Europe and Australia (etc) might not realize the joke.

In America....sometime in the 1960s(?)...people start using this exclamation: "JESUS H. CHRIST!!". "Jesus H. Christ, would you look at this traffic!"

I always thought that was funny.

[Solus]

So christ would have had to have to have risen from the dead more than just a mere one time in order to sign this bible. Quite a deal indeed, shame you all missed out!

[triadboy]

No, that's his dad. Ya know.

"Our Father who art in heaven,
Harold be thy name."

:-D

[David Swidler]

Aw, man. I can't believe the bidding ended.

I mean, can't you people see how this couldn't be anything but authentic? As we can all see, Ebay is pig Latin for "be". Christianity rejects the Old Testament's restrictions, as symbolized by the prohibition against eating pig, and the use of Latin as the language of scholarship coincided with the rise of the Church. And the name YHWH in Hebrew comes from the root "to be". How can you not SEE this?!!

[nw843x]

"Exclusive to eBay. This rare Bible ( discovered by a shepherd in the NW of Lake Gennesaret ) has been carbon dated by the Institute Of History, Ohio, USA and is said to originate from around 60AD. Further tests have been conducted in association with Bibliotheque National experts. Theologian Jessica Wycliffe has said, after reading the research, " There is a definite possibility this is the real deal." So do not miss out on this thrilling offer. Bid now! sponsored by www.stylusbarbed.com (http://www.stylusbarbed.com) "

I thought fundies did not use carbon dating as it doesn't work. Something about the earth being millions of years old and such. :rolleyes:

[The Great Hairy One]

I wasn't aware that English was the standard language in 60CE...

Cheers,
TGHO

[fromdownunder]

If anybody had bothered to follow to the "sponsored by" link on the sale page, you would have realised that the whole thing was some sort of joke (not a very good one) in the first place.

sponsored by www.stylusbarbed.com

I thought that we sceptics had to investigate things first before coming to conclusions.

Norm

[ReligionStudent]

Jesus is a bit modern for what I study, but didn't he die in roughly 30 ce. So, I guess this was signed 20 something years after he rose?

[MelBrooksfan]

If anybody had bothered to follow to the "sponsored by" link on the sale page, you would have realised that the whole thing was some sort of joke (not a very good one) in the first place.

sponsored by www.stylusbarbed.com

I thought that we sceptics had to investigate things first before coming to conclusions.

Norm

This is why we can't have nice things. You and your facts. :D

[slingblade]

I wasn't aware that English was the standard language in 60CE...

Cheers,
TGHO


Nor that bookbinding had progressed to such a high level.

[Thanz]

No, that's his dad. Ya know.

"Our Father who art in heaven,
Harold be thy name."
Well, yes, Harold is His first name. That's why it's His Son's middle name. Otherwise there is much confusion in Heaven when the God-phone rings.

[Flo]

I wasn't aware that English was the standard language in 60CE...

Cheers,
TGHO

Nor that bookbinding had progressed to such a high level.

It wasn't, as proved by the letters from Jesus to Mary in old French, on parchment, obtained by famous mathematician Michel Chasles (http://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michel_Chasles)from pharmacist Vrain-Lucas mid 19th century ... Note that Chasle obtained from the same source letters from Newton (in French) admitting that Pascal had preceded him, through data obtained from Galileus (in old French), which sparked a controversy between French and British scientists, as well as letters from Jules Caesar, Cleopatra, etc (all in old French) ...

[Beerina]

The current bid is over $10.6 million... :eek:

Hehe, I note he accept PayPal, which contains a little ad:

PayPal® Up to $200 in buyer protection.



Whew! I guess risking the remaining $10,599,800 is worth it just in case it turns out to be a fraudulent signature.

[Beerina]

By the way, if this Bible were actually signed by Jesus, I'd want something that expensive to at least let me regenerate at old-school Troll D&D rates and let me give vorpal karate chops at my enemies.

[The Great Hairy One]

3.5 troll regen rates are actually a lot faster...

Now, where did I put my nerdhat?

;)

Cheers,
TGHO

[triadboy]

By the way, if this Bible were actually signed by Jesus, I'd want something that expensive to at least let me regenerate at old-school Troll D&D rates and let me give vorpal karate chops at my enemies.


Unfortunately, our Lord Jebus Christ - the creator of the universe - was illiterate.

[wahrheit]

Unfortunately, our Lord Jebus Christ - the creator of the universe - was illiterate.

I thought his dad created the universe? :confused:


Never mind. Who cares.

[Beerina]

Yes, and the four people who have bid on it are "Bidder 1", "Bidder 2", "Bidder 3" and "Bidder 4". Current highest bid goes to "Bidder 3" who is the only one in that list who has ever bid on any other eBay item.
Smells like the seller is trying to inflate the price.

Apparently the moron selling the thing didn't realize he should have stopped after landing "Bidder 3".

[Wainscotting]

I'm sorry - I just realized people in Europe and Australia (etc) might not realize the joke.

In America....sometime in the 1960s(?)...people start using this exclamation: "JESUS H. CHRIST!!". "Jesus H. Christ, would you look at this traffic!"

I always thought that was funny.

I always thought it was 'Hershel.'

... and I thought we came up with it.:(

[slingblade]

I thought that we sceptics had to investigate things first before coming to conclusions.

Norm

It rather helps if we give a crap, first. ;)

[Dustin Kesselberg]

This (http://cgi.ebay.com/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=120128296746) sounds like a better deal...

[fromdownunder]

It rather helps if we give a crap, first. ;)

:p ;)

Norm

[Beerina]

3.5 troll regen rates are actually a lot faster...

Now, where did I put my nerdhat?

;)

Cheers,
TGHO

Yes, but it also introduces "coup de grace", where you kill a disabled opponent, as a way to kill a Troll lest it regenerate, so you don't need acid arrows, fire arrows, acid bottles, oil-and-torch combos, etc. anymore Which is a very sad day. Trolls are little more than just another monster anymore.

Unless that's something unique to the Temple of Elemental Evil game?

[Beerina]

This (http://cgi.ebay.com/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=120128296746) sounds like a better deal...

Only $15?!?!? For an 1880s Bible with gold edge and engravings, etc.?

You can't get a Franklin Mint Pretend You're Oldschool Book Edition* for that much, except for the introductory one, when signing up for 30 more.


* You know, the leather-bound, gold-edged books intended to look old-school and that you're buying to make your own little library like you're some erudite university professor from the late 1800s about to send Phinneas Fog around the world from.

[CurtC]

When my mom was a kid in deep South Texas, there was a 100,000-watt radio station across the Mexican border that apparently you could hear from Baja California to the Gulf of Mexico.
I heard it
I heard it
I heard it on the X
-- ZZTop

The classic ZZTop song was about this very radio station. Except it wasn't 100,000 watts. XERF was a freakin' quarter million watts.

[Dustin Kesselberg]

Only $15?!?!? For an 1880s Bible with gold edge and engravings, etc.?

You can't get a Franklin Mint Pretend You're Oldschool Book Edition* for that much, except for the introductory one, when signing up for 30 more.


* You know, the leather-bound, gold-edged books intended to look old-school and that you're buying to make your own little library like you're some erudite university professor from the late 1800s about to send Phinneas Fog around the world from.

Actually the starting bid is only $3. Do you think it's legitimate? The seller has a perfect rating and sells old books frequently.

[Hourglassmemory]

I wonder if most people, even Christians won't believe the object's authenticity.
I wonder if deep down in themselves, they see a bible signed by Jesus as impossible....because there was no Bible at the time of Jesus.

[The Great Hairy One]

Yes, but it also introduces "coup de grace", where you kill a disabled opponent, as a way to kill a Troll lest it regenerate, so you don't need acid arrows, fire arrows, acid bottles, oil-and-torch combos, etc. anymore Which is a very sad day. Trolls are little more than just another monster anymore.

Unless that's something unique to the Temple of Elemental Evil game?


Yeah, that's the same in 3.5, but I ignore that when I'm GMing. My trolls are immune to coups of all forms. ;)

Cheers,
TGHO

[Foster Zygote]

I thought his dad created the universe? :confused:


Never mind. Who cares.

Harold did create the universe. Jesus just created sex.