The problem with ethnic jokes

[Darth Rotor]

So, I tell this joke. (I am not from Scotland)
A Scotsman moves to Canada and attends his first baseball game. The first batter approaches the batters' box, takes a few swings and then hits a double. Everyone is on their feet screaming "Run!!!"

The next batter hits a single. The Scotsman listens as the crowd again cheers "RUN!! RUN!!" The Scotsman is enjoying the game and begins screaming with the fans.

The fifth batter comes up and four balls go by. The Umpire calls: "Walk."

The batter starts his slow trot to first base. The Scot stands up and screams, "Run ye lazy bastard rrrun!"
(DR notes: I concur with the Scotsman's sentiment, Pete Rose had it right.)

The people around the Scot begin laughing. Embarrassed, the Scot sits back down. A friendly fAmerican an notes the man's embarrassment, leans over and explains, "He can't run -- he has four balls."

The Scot stands up and screams: "Walk with pride, Laddie!
Who gets offended, and why? What is the political sub text of jokes that can and cannot be told?

DR

Yes, I know, I failed to mention cricket, sue me. :p

[Lensman]

I'm never offended by ethnic jokes - I try to be the first to post jokes about the Welsh.

[tsg]

I notice that the people who are offended by ethnic jokes are most often not a member of the group the joke is about.

[Upchurch]

Who gets offended, and why? What is the political sub text of jokes that can and cannot be told?
I'm part Scottish on my mother side, fwiw.

As far as it goes, the joke doesn't make use of a hurtful ethnic stereotype, but highlights, at worse, a cultural ignorance (of baseball). You could have plugged anyone who was not familiar with baseball and the joke still works. If the joke relied on the Scotsman being drunk or something, it would probably be considered offensive.

[tsg]

I'm part Scottish on my mother side, fwiw.

As far as it goes, the joke doesn't make use of a hurtful ethnic stereotype, but highlights, at worse, a cultural ignorance (of baseball). You could have plugged anyone who was not familiar with baseball and the joke still works. If the joke relied on the Scotsman being drunk or something, it would probably be considered offensive.

I first heard it with an Italian. As far as ethnic jokes go, that one was pretty tame.

A priest and a rabbi are walking down the street and see a twelve-year-old boy walking the other way. As he passes, the priest says, "Man I'd like to screw him." The rabbi says, "Out of what?"

That's an offensive ethnic joke. But it's okay for me to tell it. I'm part priest and part rabbi.

I'm also part Irish and part Greek. My family blows up diners.

[EvilSmurf]

I'm part Scottish on my mother side, fwiw.

As far as it goes, the joke doesn't make use of a hurtful ethnic stereotype, but highlights, at worse, a cultural ignorance (of baseball). You could have plugged anyone who was not familiar with baseball and the joke still works. If the joke relied on the Scotsman being drunk or something, it would probably be considered offensive.

Most of the offensive Scottish jokes I have heard have been of the "Scots are really really tight with money" variety. It appears most of those jokes when transported to the USA have become offensive Jewish jokes.

[fuelair]

I'm part Scottish on my mother side, fwiw.

As far as it goes, the joke doesn't make use of a hurtful ethnic stereotype, but highlights, at worse, a cultural ignorance (of baseball). You could have plugged anyone who was not familiar with baseball and the joke still works. If the joke relied on the Scotsman being drunk or something, it would probably be considered offensive.
I believe it's o.k. for Scots to be drunk - the problem is when you make it an Irishman.

[fuelair]

Most of the offensive Scottish jokes I have heard have been of the "Scots are really really tight with money" variety. It appears most of those jokes when transported to the USA have become offensive Jewish jokes.
The good news is there was a time you could make (and he did) all of them Jack Benny jokes.

[Comrade Ogilvy]

Just don`t make a joke about blacks...but if you are black you can joke about blacks and use the "N" word and call any white person a fool...because your a minority and it`s OK.

[hgc]

Most of the offensive Scottish jokes I have heard have been of the "Scots are really really tight with money" variety. It appears most of those jokes when transported to the USA have become offensive Jewish jokes.


Did you ever hear the one about old MacGregor, who was riding the train from Inverness to Edinburgh? Seems he was jumping off the train at each stop and getting back on just as the train was to depart. Since this was a local train, that were a lot of stations indeed. Upon taking note of the pattern, a fellow traveler helpfully informed ol' MacGregor that he might use the lavatory on the train rather than taking his leave at each stop. But no, MacGregor was able to disabuse this fellow by explaining that having been given only weeks to live by the doctor, in case he were to die in route during his journey, at each station he was purchasing a ticket to the next one.

[Upchurch]

because your a minority and it`s OK.
I assume this is a reference to the US. Are you at all familiar with US culture and history?

[Comrade Ogilvy]

I assume this is a reference to the US. Are you at all familiar with US culture and history?


Are you familiar with Chris Rock and his racist rants?

[Solus]

This joke would not be offensive in America but try some of the more common ones and see what reaction you get.

[Upchurch]

Are you familiar with Chris Rock and his racist rants?
Yes, but you didn't answer my question. Chris Rock's style of comedy does not exist in a vacuum free from context.

eta: I should clarify how this relates to my question. The context in which Chris Rock does his comedy is derived from US culture and its history. A good understanding of what led to the Chris Rocks of the world gives an understand as to why an apparent hypocrisy isn't really anything of the kind.

[MelBrooksfan]

That joke is a poor example, though I imagine that a good example might violate forum rules. This joke derives humor from ethnic strife between two groups.

A Scotsman, an Irishman, and Englishman are walking along when they uncover a magic lamp. They rub it together and a gas pours from the spout and forms a genie.
"There's three of you, so you will each be granted one wish," The Genie says.

The Scotsman steps forward, "I'm a fisherman, all my family have been fisherman as are many Scots. Therefore, I wish that the seas will always be teaming with fish for that my people will never go without food or work."

"Granted," The genie says.

The englishman approaches next, "After World War II, my people felt fairly vulnerable. I want a 200 foot impenetrable wall built around England so that nothing might get in or out."

"Granted," The genie says.

The Irishman steps forward, "Tell me about this wall. It's 200 feet tall?"

"Yes," The genie replies.

"And it's completely impenetrable and indestructable?"

"Yes."

"Nothing can get it or out?"

"Nothing."

"Fill it with water."

[This Guy]

I'm Scott-Irish. I'd be a drunk, but I'm too cheap to buy the booze :(

My favorite ethnic joke is about my Canadian friends.
If I can figure out how to do the spoiler thingy, I'll post it ;)

[MelBrooksfan]

I'm Scott-Irish. I'd be a drunk, but I'm too cheap to buy the booze :(

My favorite ethnic joke is about my Canadian friends.
If I can figure out how to do the spoiler thingy, I'll post it ;)

Put the word spoiler between brackets for the open code and do the same with /spoiler for the close code.

[This Guy]

Put the word spoiler between brackets for the open code and do the same with /spoiler for the close code.

Thanks! I actually found where someone used one, and hit quote to see what was there. :)

OK, Why do Canadians make love doggy style?


So they can both watch the hockey game.

[casebro]

So a Scotsman, an Irishman, and lawyer go into a bar. The barman says

"What is this, some kind of joke?"

[SezMe]

What's funny to me about DR's OP joke is that the Scotsman moves to Canada and sees his first baseball game. Canada? Huh?

[MelBrooksfan]

What's funny to me about DR's OP joke is that the Scotsman moves to Canada and sees his first baseball game. Canada? Huh?

Probably the Blue Jays (are they a baseball team, still?)

[CFLarsen]

Yes, but you didn't answer my question. Chris Rock's style of comedy does not exist in a vacuum free from context.

eta: I should clarify how this relates to my question. The context in which Chris Rock does his comedy is derived from US culture and its history. A good understanding of what led to the Chris Rocks of the world gives an understand as to why an apparent hypocrisy isn't really anything of the kind.

Doesn't that apply to any style of comedy?

[Solus]

That joke is a poor example, though I imagine that a good example might violate forum rules.

Exactly. the typical racist jokes would be much better examples, most Americans wouldn't even understand the Scottish joke. Jokes cannot be told if they offend certain groups, that's a simple guideline. I think racist jokes are pretty uncreative myself.

[Pardalis]

OK, Why do Canadians make love doggy style?

So they can both watch the hockey game.

Good one! :D

[This Guy]

Good one! :D

Glad you liked it :)

[CFLarsen]

Exactly. the typical racist jokes would be much better examples, most Americans wouldn't even understand the Scottish joke. Jokes cannot be told if they offend certain groups, that's a simple guideline. I think racist jokes are pretty uncreative myself.

Which jokes would not offend certain groups?

[CaptainManacles]

what is a jew's greatest dillema?

Free pork.

[Kerberos]

Most of the offensive Scottish jokes I have heard have been of the "Scots are really really tight with money" variety. It appears most of those jokes when transported to the USA have become offensive Jewish jokes.

I've noticed that as well, I told an American friend a Scotish joke and he didn't get it untill I explained that the Scottish are supposed to be tight with money

[brodski]

A man walks into a Glaswegian bakery and asks the baker-

“that biscuit in the window, is it a macaroon or a meringue.”

The baker replies, “Ach aye, yer’ reit enough- it’s a macaroon.”

[TragicMonkey]

A joke, like any other speech, derives its offensiveness from the intentions and attitudes of the speaker. The same joke can be told ironically, amusingly, innocently, ignorantly, or maliciously. Only the latter is truly offensive.

Although frequently the offensiveness of jokes isn't in the joke itself, it's that the joke is inappropriate for the time and place. Or that it's being told by someone who doesn't know his audience well enough and vice versa.

As for being allowed to make fun of your own ethnicity, consider that if you remove "self=" from "self-deprecating humor" it's not humor any more, it's just insulting.

[Upchurch]

Doesn't that apply to any style of comedy?
:rolleyes: Yes, Claus. Way to miss the point yet again.

[Ladewig]

I never had any listener (Candian or otherwise) object to this joke:

Candians and Americans are almost exactly alike. In fact, the only way to tell them apart is to watch a Candian's reaction when told that Candians and Americans are almost exactly alike.


---------

As for the joke in the O.P., I really don't understand why the joke becomes funnier when the person is a Scot. I consider it an average joke - I see the humor, I just don't see why it has to a be a particular ethnic group.

As for the topic in the O.P., does playing on the stereotype that Polish people are dumb, or Dutch people are cheap, or Black people are lazy really make for the best humor?

[Morrigan]

I love racist jokes. Even the most offensive ones, but it's usually because they are so over-the-top.

So, I tell this joke. (I am not from Scotland)

Who gets offended, and why? What is the political sub text of jokes that can and cannot be told?
Er... nothing at all? Except maybe that Canadians are rude and Americans are friendly, but I thought it was the other way around in real life. :newlol

[corplinx]

There is a difference between ethnic humor and racist humor.

People used to complain the comedians like Eddie Murphy were allowed to get away with racist humor. But really, his jokes about white people poked fun at stereotypes but usually didn't imply that whites were inferior to blacks or lesser human beings (except in the butt area). That is the smell test for where humor goes over the line.

Carlos Menstealia comes to mind as well. He pokes fun and uses stereotypes as well.

Anytime you used any ethnic reference though it seems to open you up to a "feign being offended" tirade from some nit with too much airtime to use.

[corplinx]

The first ethnic joke I ever heard was from my grandmother. She was looking for a new car and I (a very young version) asked if she would get a Cadillac.

Gramma: I wouldn't own a Cadillac, their roofs leak.
Me: How do you know that?
Gramma: Everytime I see someone driving one they're wearing a showercap.

[IXP]

A man walks into a Glaswegian bakery and asks the baker-

“that biscuit in the window, is it a macaroon or a meringue.”

The baker replies, “Ach aye, yer’ reit enough- it’s a macaroon.”
This one took me a while. I had to refer back to Peter Cook and Dudley Moore's skit portraying Sonny and Cher as Scottsmen.

"I've got you to kiss good neet,
I've got you to hold me teet."

IXP

[tsg]

As for the joke in the O.P., I really don't understand why the joke becomes funnier when the person is a Scot. I consider it an average joke - I see the humor, I just don't see why it has to a be a particular ethnic group.

It doesn't, it just has to be someone who's never seen a baseball game. Although if you can do a funny accent when you say the punchline it makes it funnier. The nationality will often change with the ability of the teller to do a particular accent.

How do you get a hundred Canadians out of a pool?

"Would you Canadians please get out of the pool?"

Of course, there's the other way to go with ethnic jokes:

What do you call a black man flying a plane?

A pilot, you racist!

[MelBrooksfan]

I've noticed that as well, I told an American friend a Scotish joke and he didn't get it untill I explained that the Scottish are supposed to be tight with money

The only Scottish stereotypes I'm familiar with are a love of drinking and a love of sheep.

[hgc]

I always liked this joke, which I've told here before...

Shmuley and Heshy are walking through the neighborhood when the come across a Christian church with a banner strung over the door announcing Converts get $50.

So Heshy says to Shmuley, "hey, you're a little tight right now - why don't you go for it?"

Shmuley says that's a great idea, and then goes into the church.

Heshy waits for him outside, and after a half hour, Shmuley comes out again.

Heshy says, "well, how'd it go?"

Shmuley answers, "that's it, I'm a Christian now."

Then Heshy asks, "yeah ... and the $50, did you get it?"

Shmuley looks at him disdainfully and says, "you people are all the same, aren't you?"


Makes fun with the stereotype and with the purveyers of the stereotype at the same time.

[CFLarsen]

:rolleyes: Yes, Claus. Way to miss the point yet again.

If you agree with me, I can hardly "miss the point".

Unless, of course, you missed it, too.

[The Central Scrutinizer]

Thanks! I actually found where someone used one, and hit quote to see what was there. :)

OK, Why do Canadians make love doggy style?


So they can both watch the hockey game.

I always heard it as:

"Why do couples from Alabama have sex doggy style?"

So they can both watch wrestling.

[CFLarsen]

There is a difference between ethnic humor and racist humor.

People used to complain the comedians like Eddie Murphy were allowed to get away with racist humor. But really, his jokes about white people poked fun at stereotypes but usually didn't imply that whites were inferior to blacks or lesser human beings (except in the butt area). That is the smell test for where humor goes over the line.

Carlos Menstealia comes to mind as well. He pokes fun and uses stereotypes as well.

Anytime you used any ethnic reference though it seems to open you up to a "feign being offended" tirade from some nit with too much airtime to use.

How do you tell the difference between someone being offended and someone feigning being offended?

[The Central Scrutinizer]

what is a jew's greatest dillema?

Free pork.

How was copper wire invented?

Two Jew's fighting over a penny.

[The Central Scrutinizer]

How do you tell the difference between someone being offended and someone feigning being offended?

I don't know. What's the punchline?

[Sir Robin Goodfellow]

Probably the Blue Jays (are they a baseball team, still?)


Yes, but nobody cares about baseball up here anyway, except for elderly women.

[Upchurch]

If you agree with me, I can hardly "miss the point".
You see, people can say things that have more than one layer to them. I made a statement that had many parts. The part you addressed was, as usual, not the central thesis of my statement.

So, you can say something I agree with, but still completely fail to grasp the central thesis of what I was saying.

[Kerberos]

A German, a Frenchman, a Brit and an American are attempting to cross the Atlantic in a balloon. Out in the middle of the Atlantic it begins loosing height so they throw out all the ballast, and equipment but they keep loosing height.

At last the Brit stands up, loudly proclaims "God save the queen" and jumps overboard. The balloon stabilises for a time after this, but after while they begin loosing height again.

The German stands up and says "Für das Vaterland" and jumps overboard". Again the balloon stabilises, but it begins loosing height while they're still some distance off the coast, the Frenchman and the American looks at each other.

Finally the Frenchman stands up, announces "Vive La France" and tosses the American overboard.

[CFLarsen]

You see, people can say things that have more than one layer to them. I made a statement that had many parts. The part you addressed was, as usual, not the central thesis of my statement.

So, you can say something I agree with, but still completely fail to grasp the central thesis of what I was saying.

WTF? I ask you a simple question, and you retort with this condescending crap?

Who pissed on your parade today? Sheesh..... :rolleyes:

[HarryKeogh]

Finally the Frenchman stands up, announces "Vive La France" and tosses the American overboard.

I learned that one but there's a Mexican and the American says "Remember the Alamo" before tossing him over.

A priest and a rabbi are walking down the street and see a twelve-year-old boy walking the other way. As he passes, the priest says, "Man I'd like to screw him." The rabbi says, "Out of what?"

Reminds me of a true story...3 priest and some school boys are out on a boat. The boat starts to sink. One priest says "we have to save the boys", the second priest says "f*** the boys", the third priest says "do you think we have time?"

[Madalch]

How was copper wire invented?

Two Jew's fighting over a penny.

I told that joke to my relatives as "Two Dutchmen fighting over a penny". One of my cousins took umbrage (since that side of the family is first generation Dutch-Canadians), and told me I should be using Jews in the punchline.

That's idiotic- why shouldn't I make fun of my own heritage? It's not like the family doesn't prove the streotype true.

[tsg]

A Russian, a Cuban, an American and his lawyer are on a train. The Russian takes out a full bottle of vodka, drinks a few sips, and throws the rest out the window. The American says, "that bottle was almost full! Why did you throw it away?"

The Russian says, "in Russia, we have so much vodka we don't know what to do with it."

The Cuban then takes a cigar, lights it and, after a couple of puffs, throws it out the window.

"Why did you throw that whole cigar away?" the American asks.

"In Cuba, we have so many cigars we don't know what to do with them." he replies.

So the American throws the lawyer out the window.

[CFLarsen]

I told that joke to my relatives as "Two Dutchmen fighting over a penny". One of my cousins took umbrage (since that side of the family is first generation Dutch-Canadians), and told me I should be using Jews in the punchline.

That's idiotic- why shouldn't I make fun of my own heritage? It's not like the family doesn't prove the streotype true.

Interesting how many stereotypes are portrayed as stingy. Scots, Jews, Dutch - in Denmark, it would be Jutlanders...

[tsg]

I told that joke to my relatives as "Two Dutchmen fighting over a penny". One of my cousins took umbrage (since that side of the family is first generation Dutch-Canadians), and told me I should be using Jews in the punchline.

That's idiotic- why shouldn't I make fun of my own heritage? It's not like the family doesn't prove the streotype true.

What I find more disturbing is that he thinks it's okay to insult anyone else's heritage but not his own.

I tell my fair share of tasteless jokes. Many of them feature Irishmen.

An Irishman is walking down the beach and finds a lamp. He rubs it and a genie pops out.

"You have three wishes" he says.

"I'd like a pint of Guiness"

*Poof* a pint of Guiness appears in his hand. The Irishman downs it and it fills itself back up. The genie says, "that glass will never be empty. It will always refill itself. You have two wishes left."

The Irishman says, "I'll have two more of these."

[The Central Scrutinizer]

I told that joke to my relatives as "Two Dutchmen fighting over a penny". One of my cousins took umbrage (since that side of the family is first generation Dutch-Canadians), and told me I should be using Jews in the punchline.

That's idiotic- why shouldn't I make fun of my own heritage? It's not like the family doesn't prove the streotype true.

Yeah, it could be told about some of the "scrubby Dutch" that live in South St. Louis. Tighter than a drum!

[Comrade Ogilvy]

Yes, but you didn't answer my question. Chris Rock's style of comedy does not exist in a vacuum free from context.

eta: I should clarify how this relates to my question. The context in which Chris Rock does his comedy is derived from US culture and its history. A good understanding of what led to the Chris Rocks of the world gives an understand as to why an apparent hypocrisy isn't really anything of the kind.

I get it... because Blacks were once oppressed and he is Black that allows Chris to call other Blacks the "N' word and call Whites fools.."....May The Circle Go Unbroken".

[LostAngeles]

A Scotsman, and Irishman, and an Englishman walk into a bar and order 3 pints. They take their seats and as they do a fly lands on each of their glasses.

The Englishman pushes his away in disgust.

The Irishman flicks the fly off and drinks his pint.

The Scotsman has got the fly by a wing and is shaking while yelling, "SPIT IT OUT Y'BASTARD!"

ETA:Boondock Saints joke with two endings!:

A white guy, a black guy, and a hispanic guy are walking along the beach when they come across a bottle. The pick it up and pops a genie.

"I will grant each of you one wish," the genie booms.

The hispanic guy thinks for a moment and says, "You know, I wish that all of my people were happy and free back in their home countries." The genie nods his head and *poof* all the hispanics are now living in their home countries, happy and free.

The black guys says, "That's a good wish. I wish that all of my people were happy and free back in Africa." The genie nods his head and *poof* all the blacks are now living in Africa, happy and free.

White guys says, "So, you're telling me that all the hispanics are gone?" The genie nods. "And all the blacks too," the white guy asks. The genie nods again.

"Well, then. I'll have a coke."

"Hell if I'm washing my own car and cleaning my own toilet. Bring 'em back!"

[Comrade Ogilvy]

" The toothbrush was invented in Tennessee....otherwise it would have been known as the "Teethbrush".

[This Guy]

I always heard it as:

"Why do couples from Alabama have sex doggy style?"

So they can both watch wrestling.

That works too :)

[strathmeyer]

A German, a Canadian, and an American walk into a bar. The American says to the bartender, "I'll have a Budweiser." The Canadian says, "I'll have a Molson." The German says, "I'd like a glass of milk." The other two look at him funny and he says, "We're in a bar, but if you guys aren't going to order beer, I'm not going to either."

[Dorian Gray]

This is inspiring. Specifically the fact that the thread is called "The problem with ethnic jokes' and you're providing examples of ethnic jokes.

It inspires me to start a thread called "The problem with pornography".

[LashL]

Good one! :D

And true! :p

[quixotecoyote]

This is inspiring. Specifically the fact that the thread is called "The problem with ethnic jokes' and you're providing examples of ethnic jokes.

It inspires me to start a thread called "The problem with pornography".

In fairness they're avoiding most of the really offensive ones. There's probably a point in there somewhere.

[Kerberos]

In fairness they're avoiding most of the really offensive ones.
True, there are for exampel significantly less PC versions of the balloon joke than the one I told.

[Morrigan]

I can't speak for everyone, but I refrain from posting the really offensive ones because I don't want to get banned. ;)

[HarryKeogh]

A man stumbles upon a lamp. He rubs it and a genie pops out. To reward him he offers him one wish.

The man pulls out a map and points to the Middle East. "I would like there to be peace in this area of the world"

The genie replies "Oh, there are some things not even I can do. They've been fighting for so long and their hatred runs so deep that I am powerless to change it. Please wish for something else"

"OK" the man says "How about my wife wakes me up with a blow job"

The genie replies "Let me see that map again".



Not really an ethnic joke. Just felt like telling it.

[Kerberos]

A man stumbles upon a lamp. He rubs it and a genie pops out. To reward him he offers him one wish.

The man pulls out a map and points to the Middle East. "I would like there to be peace in this area of the world"

The genie replies "Oh, there are some things not even I can do. They've been fighting for so long and their hatred runs so deep that I am powerless to change it. Please wish for something else"

"OK" the man says "How about my wife wakes me up with a blow job"

The genie replies "Let me see that map again".



Not really an ethnic joke. Just felt like telling it.
I know that joke with Bush and "make me the smartest person in the world".

[corplinx]

I think the summary of the thread is.... while ethnic jokes are not necessarily racist or demeaning of a culture, the problem is someone with a bug up their ass can claim they are.

[petra10]

the jokes have all been good i think the politic correct brigade go too far with their nonsence. btw scots are suppose to been tight with money and drunk oh and they hate the english.
Bush was in the oval office when one of his advicers came in."i am sorry to tell you sir 3 brazilan soilders have been killed in Iraq"
Bush shakes his head and covers his face with his hands "god how many is that"

[TragicMonkey]

I know a Russian one, told about the Chinese:

A spy sent copies of a memo found on the desk of a Chinese army general, planning for scouting expeditions into Russian territory. The Chinese are going to slip scouts over the border in small groups of one to two million.

[Kerberos]

This one is arguably dated, but none the less:

An American and a Russian is walking along the beach arguing about who builds the best submarines.

"Our submarines", says the Russian "can stay dived down for half a year on one ounce of uranium"

"That's nothing", says the American, "our submarines can remain submerged for a whole year on half an ounce of Uranium".

At that moment there is a disturbance in the water, a rusty submarine emerges and an old man steps out

"Heil Hitler! Wo can man Diesel kaufen?"

[bigred]

Who gets offended, and why? Whiny morons who simply LIVE to be offended. Tons of em here and I swear they're breeding like cockroaches. Tito, get me a tissue. sniffle

:rolleyes:

[bigred]

Yes, but you didn't answer my question. Chris Rock's style of comedy does not exist in a vacuum free from context.

eta: I should clarify how this relates to my question. The context in which Chris Rock does his comedy is derived from US culture and its history. A good understanding of what led to the Chris Rocks of the world gives an understand as to why an apparent hypocrisy isn't really anything of the kind.
What an absurd pile of apologist gibberish.

Blacks certainly aren't the only hypocrites when it comes to race, but they far and away lead the pack.

[Molinaro]

A few weekends back I was at an evening gathering on a patio with a half dozen or so neighbours. Late into the night of drinks and chatter the conversation shifted to social problems and natives (native Canadians/Americans).

I then threw out this improvised joke, yet I did it as if I were adding something serious to the conversation:

All the problems with natives could easily have been avoided if..

Beer stores had been placed closer to the reservations. That way social problems couldn't hapen because we would never see them.

It was greated with much laughter because it was so over the top in its jab at a stereotype. The person who had been leading the discussion in that direction lamented an innability to tell the joke at work the next day. They worked for some government agency associated with native Canadians.

So, the point of this discussion should be that it's all about context. Where you are, who you are with, and how you tell it, are what determines if there is a problem or not with an ethnic joke.

[Whiplash]

what is a jew's greatest dillema?

Free pork.


He could take it and sell it at high prices.

I used to work for a Jew and heard all kinds of jokes like the above, and this one:

"Did you hear about the new Jewish tires? They are called Firesteins. They stop on a dime AND pick it up!"

[UnrepentantSinner]

I used to work for a Jew and heard all kinds of jokes like the above, and this one:

I've heard three Holocaust related jokes that actually were funny. One I can't remember now, one from an ethnically Jewish member of this forum and one on the Howard Stern show.

I like to think the one I made up myself is only a silly wordplay rather than a "Jewish joke."

Q: What's the official Israeli martial art?
(and it's a joke guys, so don't say Krav Maga)
A. Jew Jitsu

I also learned my new favorite ethnic joke about Greeks, here, from El Greco.

Q: Why do Greek men wear mustaches?
A. To remind them of their mother

[Ian Osborne]

A UK Midlands joke:

Ayknuck: "Ay, mayt, oi went fishin' yesturdi"

Ayloi: "Did ya do olroit?"

Ayknuck: "Arr, oi cort a whale"

Ayloi: "A whale"

Ayknuck: "Arr, a grate big whale it wuz. No good thow"

Ayloi: "Woi not?"

Ayknuck: "It day 'ave any spowks"

Unfortunately, Teek's probably the only person on the forum who will get it! :D

[insomneac]

What's not to get? The wheel didn't have any spokes.

[Wolfman]

Well, as Canadians know, English speakers tell jokes about French speakers, French speakers tell jokes about English speakers, and EVERYBODY tells jokes about people from Newfoundland (affectionately called "Newfies"). So, years ago, a Newfie friend of mine told me this joke:

A Newfie is out on the ocean, rowing his little fishing boat, and singing happily, "Aye's the bye dat builds de boat, and aye's the bye dat sails her" (apparently a popular Newfie song). Anyway, along comes a UFO, that hovers unnoticed above him; the aliens inside, realizing that nobody else is around to see what happens, decide to do a little experiment.

"Let's zap one third of his brain, and see what happens!". So, ZAAAAP! One third of his brain is vaporized. But no apparent changes take place. He's still happily rowing his boat, singing, ""Aye's the bye dat builds de boat, and aye's the bye dat sails her."

So, the aliens decide to zap another third of his brain, and see what happens. ZAAAAP! Now, only one third of his brain is left...but again, no apparent change, he's still happily rowing his boat, singing, "Aye's the bye dat builds de boat, and aye's the bye dat sails her."

Now the aliens decide to go for broke, and zap the whole brain. ZAAAAP! Now, his skull is entirely empty, the whole brain has been vaporized...but with no apparent result, he's still happily rowing along. But then the aliens notice something...
Now he's singing, " Alouette, gentile Alouette, Alouette, je te plumerai..."

[TragicMonkey]

A Newfie is out on the ocean, rowing his little fishing boat, and singing happily, "Aye's the bye dat builds de boat, and aye's the bye dat sails her" (apparently a popular Newfie song).

It's usually transliterated as "I'se the b'y".

"I'se the b'y that builds the boat
I'se the b'y that sails 'er
I'se the b'y that catches the fish
and takes 'em home to Lizer."

"Sails 'er" and "Lizer" rhyme.

[Wolfman]

Thanks, TM...I readily admit to my weaknesses in regards to correct transliteration of the Newfie dialect.

[PrincessIneffabelle]

" The toothbrush was invented in Tennessee....otherwise it would have been known as the "Teethbrush".

Much funnier if you substitute "Kentucky" for "Tennessee". In Ohio, Kentuckians are regarded much more as hill-billies than Tennesseeans. IIRC, Kentuckians feel the same way about West Virginians.

Next joke (sort of):

In Cincinnati, there is a big double decker bridge that spans the Ohio River into Kentucky. The lanes going into Kentucky are on top, and the lanes going into Ohio are on the bottom. Ohioans will jokingly tell you that it's that way so that the people leaving Ohio for Kentucky can drop their shoes (or toothbrushes, soap, etc) to the people leaving Kentucky for Ohio.