Paris finds God - apparently he was in jail.

[andyandy]

Christ - that was quick....

The world received proof yesterday that prison does indeed work. In an interview from the Los Angeles jail where she is serving a sentence for driving while banned, celebrity inmate Paris Hilton claimed a remarkable transformation in her character. She said she was no longer superficial, had found God, wanted to work with sick children and had not looked in a mirror since entering prison.
Speaking to the veteran television anchorwoman Barbara Walters by phone, Hilton revealed herself to be an acute critic of her former persona. "I'm not the same person I was," she said. "I used to act dumb. It was an act. I am 26 years old, and that act is no longer cute. It is not who I am, nor do I want to be that person for the young girls who looked up to me.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/usa/story/0,,2100913,00.html

[l0rca]

She's in prison?

Ha!

Maybe she'll team up with Jolie. And Barrymore. And two other chicks, and go all Fox Force Five.

[Azure]

There's your proof!

[The Great Hairy One]

Damnit, I just want her to hook up with that hot lesbian in Cell #8, record it on her mobile phone and post it to the internets!

:p

Cheers,
TGHO

[fromdownunder]

She met Kent Hovind in Jail?

Norm

[Beleth]

If just the few days she's spent in jail so far have smartened her up this much, I say increase her sentence to five years! She'll be a frickin' Einstein after that!

[Kilgore Trout]

Someone finding God in prison is proof that it works? And this is proof to the entire world? Is that why Buddhist prisons fail miserably?

[Spidey13]

She found god? When can I see the home video?

[Darth Rotor]

She found god? When can I see the home video?

If she came to Jesus, I am not sure that video won't piss off the Pope.

DR

[TheAntiLuddite]

The transcript of the interview with that twit (Paris, not Barbara) is an absolute LOL-fest. This is probably the first time in her entire life that she's been forced to take responsibility for her actions, but she's still trying to wriggle out:

"My spirit or soul did not like the way I was being seen and that is why I was sent to jail."

No, you dizzy brat, you were sent to jail for being pinched twice for driving on a license suspended for a DUI.

[Hourglassmemory]

Great! I can already see it coming. Paris comes out of prison, goes into a church of some religion like Scientology and becomes the role model for thousands of empty headed teenage girls.
Oh! the horror!!!
And of course the churches will use her as this "evidence" that god exists or something.
and I'm 17. It disturbs me that now she might come out as this total opposite of what she was. It will be VERY weird.

[baskett_case]

I wouldn't doubt that Paris found God in jail. Plenty of inmates have after trying some Pruno.

[Darat]

Hmm.... http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/6747845.stm

... Jailed celebrity heiress Paris Hilton has been dropped by her celebrity agency, according to a report.

Endeavor, which has represented The Simple Life star since 2005, made the decision on Friday when Hilton was sent back to jail, says People magazine. ...

[l0rca]

Thinking a little about it, it occurred to me that it would be a lot funnier if she found Xenu. Maybe someone could petition Tom Cruise for this one?

[Darat]

I doubt even the Scientologists are crazy enough to think she would be an asset!

[Mid]

...snip... It disturbs me that now she might come out as this total opposite of what she was. It will be VERY weird.

Oh no she'll be the anti-Paris now.

[Overman]

She has slept with just about everyone else....

[fuelair]

At least the Sheriff has learned the perils of special treatment for.........oh wait - this just in: parental visit caused people who had been waiting for hours to see their imprisoned loved ones told "come back later" so PH's could visit and not have to wait their turn. In other news....... (MSNBC+)

[The Atheist]

Way I see it, I'm surprised more people don't find him in prison. He's there for long enough:

Charges; Genocide, 3 counts as representative:


The Flood. Death toll unknown, but several hundred thousand, at least. The adults may have been sinners, but the kids certainly weren't. Sentenced to 250,000 consecutive life terms.

Sodom & Gomorrah. Death toll unknown, but probably 20-30,000. All for a bit of brown-hatting! Sentenced to 20,000 consecutive life sentences. (I'm wondering why he didn't turn up to defend himself. Maybe he was busy on a conference call with Dubbya and Tony Blair.)

Killing all the first-born in Egypt. Death toll estimated at 55,000. Sentenced to further 55,000 life sentences.

Numerous other charges await, from animal cruelty - sticking Jonah in a whale's throat for three days (Greenpeace pressing heavily for that one), Jesus forcing evil spirits into group of pigs then making them run off a cliff (RSPCA, England pursuing), to theft - keeping one tenth part of all his subjects' wages without providing superannuation, sickness or holiday benefits (Department of Labour).

My only question is what the hell was he doing in a women's jail?

[Darth Rotor]

My only question is what the hell was he doing in a women's jail?
It's where the chicks are. How do you think you can keep God, the whole Omni sort of Alpha Omega power, in any jail?

Why he'd dirty his Self with Paris the Ho remains, as the old priest would say, a divine mystery. There's better booty to be had, and he knows it! He knows all! Oh, wait, that means he knows where bestest boot is, he dropped in, and the hammer on, Paris, ergo she has the bestest booty. (Hmmm, she acts like it's gold plated, but also acts as though it's The Village Green. Girl doesn't know that if it's the Bestest Booty, Divine Seal of Quality, she could sell if for enough to fund the Iraq War and all the beer consumed at cricket matches. )

Brain hurts, need Guinness. :boggled:

DR

[The Atheist]

Brain hurts, need Guinness. :boggled:

DR

She has that effect on most people who don't think with the one-eyed fella.

Personally, if she was the last woman left on earth, I'd be turning gay. Hell, I'd have a sex change!

[MelBrooksfan]

She has that effect on most people who don't think with the one-eyed fella.

She has that effect on people who do! I have much trouble imagining a less attractive individual.

[Mashuna]

She has that effect on most people who don't think with the one-eyed fella.

Personally, if she was the last woman left on earth, I'd be turning gay. Hell, I'd have a sex change!

So you'd end up as a lesbian with Paris Hilton then :confused: .

[scratchy]

"boo hoo, ive learned my lesson and really changed, found god and all, *sniff*, can i come out now, pleeeease?"
With this speeding change she will be a satanist before her time is served.

[The Atheist]

So you'd end up as a lesbian with Paris Hilton then :confused: .

Uh, no. I said she was the last woman, there'd be plenty of blokes...