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Miss Anthrope
6th July 2007, 10:07 AM
In the town of Keizer, apparently a lot of people have phallus on the brains (http://www.komotv.com/news/local/8355142.html). It wouls also seem that they would rather have $20K plus of their tax money wasted than be confronted by the horrifying thoughts of male anatomy.

Note the angle the photo is taken to maximize the offending phallic shape. What kind of people call and complain about something like this?

Hopefully the city's more kinky solution will put the residents at ease:


The city is looking into retrofitting the posts with metal collars and chains that run between them, which they hope will change the look. If not, they said the posts will have to go.

"If that fix doesn't work and I still think they look inappropriate, we'll have wasted $20,000 and we'll have to do something different," Eppley said.

Of course, the city could always keep them up and use them for sex education, at least according to one woman we spoke to. "My son said he wanted to hang a sign on it that says 'always use protection,'" she said.


In other news, cucumbers and orchids will be banned in Keizer. Film at 11.

The Painter
6th July 2007, 10:13 AM
The city is looking into retrofitting the posts with metal collars and chains

Yeah, a little B&D. That will fix it.

Katana
6th July 2007, 10:14 AM
In the town of Keizer, apparently a lot of people have phallus on the brains (http://www.komotv.com/news/local/8355142.html). It wouls also seem that they would rather have $20K plus of their tax money wasted than be confronted by the horrifying thoughts of male anatomy.

Note the angle the photo is taken to maximize the offending phallic shape. What kind of people call and complain about something like this?

Hopefully the city's more kinky solution will put the residents at ease:

Seriously!

So let's fit them all with cock rings and take it a step further by chaining the "phalluses" together. Nothing like gettin' a little BDSM with traffic posts.

Good grief, people. :rolleyes:

Miss Anthrope
6th July 2007, 10:17 AM
I supposed the more appropriate headline should have been "Traffic Posts Too Vanilla for Dirty Keizers"

Earthborn
6th July 2007, 10:19 AM
This (http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Image:Amsterdammertje.jpg) is what such things look like in Amsterdam, and have looked like for many generations. Notice the small hole on top.

The Central Scrutinizer
6th July 2007, 10:20 AM
It took some balls to put these up.

Katana
6th July 2007, 10:20 AM
I supposed the more appropriate headline should have been "Traffic Posts Too Vanilla for Dirty Keizers"


Ooooh, you're so baaaddd! :roll:

Can you imagine how horrified they would be if one of the local papers had the nerve?

That's rich. Rich, I tell you.

Miss Anthrope
6th July 2007, 10:21 AM
This (http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Image:Amsterdammertje.jpg) is what such things look like in Amsterdam, and have looked like for many generations. Notice the small hole on top.

I like the XXX.

Katana
6th July 2007, 10:21 AM
This (http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Image:Amsterdammertje.jpg) is what such things look like in Amsterdam, and have looked like for many generations. Notice the small hole on top.


Wow! A spot for the Prince Albert, even.

Impressive.

Miss Anthrope
6th July 2007, 10:22 AM
It took some balls to put these up.


Ooooooooh!!

Earthborn
6th July 2007, 10:54 AM
I like the XXX.It is a traditional part of the coat of arms of Amsterdam (http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/0/05/Wapen_van_Amsterdam_bewerkt.PNG), dating back to the Middle Ages. It is therefore a symbol for Amsterdam, not a symbol for anything of 'questionable morality'.

And it is not XXX, it is:
X
X
X

Very different.

Wow! A spot for the Prince Albert, even."Prince Albert" ? Okay, I had to look that up. All hail Wikipedia.

tsg
6th July 2007, 10:58 AM
Some people just aren't happy unless they have something to be angry about.

I don't know what's worse, the people that are offended or that the city is listening to them.

Miss Anthrope
6th July 2007, 11:01 AM
Some people just aren't happy unless they have something to be angry about.

I don't know what's worse, the people that are offended or that the city is listening to them.

In all seriousness, I quite agree.

Tony
6th July 2007, 11:19 AM
Lemme guess, Keizer is a town dominated by conservatives?

Miss Anthrope
6th July 2007, 11:21 AM
Lemme guess, Keizer is a town dominated by conservatives?

I don't know one way or another. But I am going to assume it's a town full of major prudes.

Twilek
6th July 2007, 11:28 AM
Funny how prudes always seem to have phallus-on-the-brain disorder. If not for the angle the picture was taken at, I wouldn't have looked twice.

Miss Anthrope
6th July 2007, 11:32 AM
Funny how prudes always seem to have phallus-on-the-brain disorder. If not for the angle the picture was taken at, I wouldn't have looked twice.

Well, when you have that "sex is the most offensive and dangerous thing in the universe" attitude, they're bound to find it no matter where they look.

Keizer, why do you hate penises?

tsg
6th July 2007, 11:36 AM
Judging by what they think looks like a penis, it's appears they haven't seen very many penises. Hmmm, maybe that's part of their problem.

MelBrooksfan
6th July 2007, 11:43 AM
They ought to go a step further and get some large, round pieces of concrete to secure to the base of it. I'm just guessing the Oregon resident are feeling slightly envious of those posts.

tsg
6th July 2007, 11:45 AM
Well, if they do decide to pull them out [snicker], the $20,000 need not be wasted. With a little tubing, a pump and a drill they can turn them into fountains.

petra10
6th July 2007, 11:47 AM
This is so funny although the one in Amsterdam looked funnier.We have black metal ones here sometimes they are red.But its true some people will moan at anything.Just wondering does Kiezer have German roots?
Cant wait till they chain them together :) :) :)

scratchy
6th July 2007, 12:16 PM
Its just laughable how city officials and others like them cave in when hysterics scream "woaaaahh, it makes us think of sex, take it away, think about the children!!!" Instead they should just have kept a pokerface and said: "You see a dick there? Really? Hmmm...."

By the way, my hometown has this joyfull ensemble wellcomming people arriving by train, just outside the main entrence of the station building. You can allmost se half the lower part of the womans legs. http://www.matton.se/extend.php?lsok=1&sok=Sculpture&browse=1&cat=C4&llsok=1&theme=Sculptures&i=1108512

NoZed Avenger
6th July 2007, 12:50 PM
But its true some people will moan at anything.


Um . . .

Katana
6th July 2007, 01:01 PM
But its true some people will moan at anything. Um . . .


Um . . .

Yeah.

Care to elaborate?

Comrade Ogilvy
6th July 2007, 01:06 PM
Huh... Michigan has always grown them bigger...


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:YpsilantiWaterTower.jpg

Check out the story...


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ypsilanti_Water_Tower

Ipecac
6th July 2007, 01:33 PM
You wonder if all the nonsense would have stopped if the City Manager had simply said, "It's a traffic post, people. Grow up."

Elizabeth I
6th July 2007, 01:41 PM
Yeah, a little B&D. That will fix it.

"B&D" = bondage and ?

Yours truly,
Innocent

Katana
6th July 2007, 02:49 PM
"B&D" = bondage and ?

Yours truly,
Innocent


Domination?

NOT that I know anything about it.

:scarper:

Gurdur
6th July 2007, 02:54 PM
*sigh*

Bondage & Discipline. It's quite well-known as a phrase /acronym.

Miss Anthrope
6th July 2007, 03:54 PM
Domination?

NOT that I know anything about it.

:scarper:

:eusa_liar:

Miss Anthrope
6th July 2007, 03:55 PM
You wonder if all the nonsense would have stopped if the City Manager had simply said, "It's a traffic post, people. Grow up."

Yep. Certainly would have my my response.

Katana
6th July 2007, 04:07 PM
:eusa_liar:


:p :p :p :p

Actually, I think that, for once (:duck:) Gurdur is right. I think that B&D, specifically, refers to "bondage and discipline".

My bad. :con2:


:p :p :p :p

Miss Anthrope
6th July 2007, 04:08 PM
:p :p :p :p

Actually, I think that, for once (:duck:) Gurdur is right. I think that B&D, specifically, refers to "bondage and discipline".

My bad. :con2:


:p :p :p :p

Simply the difference between a paddle and a riding crop. Trivial. ;)

Katana
6th July 2007, 04:12 PM
Simply the difference between a paddle and a riding crop. Trivial. ;)


http://forums.randi.org/imagehosting/thum_9807468ecc4645c53.jpg (http://forums.randi.org/vbimghost.php?do=displayimg&imgid=6831)


Oh, why limit oneself?

Dorian Gray
6th July 2007, 04:17 PM
What is Oregon's take on canyons, fish, tacos and beavers?

Katana
6th July 2007, 04:25 PM
What is Oregon's take on canyons, fish, tacos and beavers?


How 'bout Bush?

:con2:

Elizabeth I
6th July 2007, 05:02 PM
*sigh*

Bondage & Discipline. It's quite well-known as a phrase /acronym.

Hey, give me a break. I got half of it right.

Domination?

NOT that I know anything about it.

:scarper:

Certainly NOT! ;)

Babylon Sister
6th July 2007, 05:03 PM
The Oregon State Flag has a beaver on the reverse. Always good for a laugh when I was growing up. (insert Beavis and Butthead laugh here.)

petra10
6th July 2007, 05:08 PM
Um . . .

What I mean is there is important issues going on but to moan about than a bit of concrete please..Have you seen Scrachy's homtown statue:D :D :D Love to see what the foks of Kiezer would think if they had that in their town square

Miss Anthrope
6th July 2007, 05:14 PM
The Oregon State Flag has a beaver on the reverse. Always good for a laugh when I was growing up. (insert Beavis and Butthead laugh here.)

We could be on to something here. Perhaps the resident's bias in favor of beaver is so pronounced, they find anything remotely man-shaped offensive?

TragicMonkey
7th July 2007, 06:34 AM
The Oregon State Flag has a beaver on the reverse. Always good for a laugh when I was growing up. (insert Beavis and Butthead laugh here.)

Virginia's flag has a murderess with an exposed breast, standing atop the corpse of her victim. It says a lot about the state, really.

NoZed Avenger
7th July 2007, 09:24 AM
Virginia's flag has a murderess with an exposed breast, standing atop the corpse of her victim. It says a lot about the state, really.

Isn't the state motto "You have a pretty mouth" ?

TragicMonkey
7th July 2007, 09:30 AM
Isn't the state motto "You have a pretty mouth" ?

No, the state motto is "West Virginia is separate, so don't confuse us with them."

Corsair 115
7th July 2007, 11:58 AM
Hmmm, where are the folks who think that the traffic posts in question actually look like short, squat bullets?

Miss Anthrope
7th July 2007, 12:28 PM
Hmmm, where are the folks who think that the traffic posts in question actually look like short, squat bullets?

You're forgetting that the very suggestion of the reproductive organs is very, very bad. Violence is just dandy!

gumboot
8th July 2007, 03:04 AM
Judging by what they think looks like a penis, it's appears they haven't seen very many penises. Hmmm, maybe that's part of their problem.


That was pretty much my first response.

-Gumboot

Brown
8th July 2007, 04:39 AM
Why doesn't someone just put plastic bags over the posts? To make periodic replacement easier, the bags should have a protruding tip that can be easily grasped.

Problem solved!

Hawk one
8th July 2007, 05:01 AM
Domination?

NOT that I know anything about it.

:scarper:
Would you like me to teach you? :D

TjW
8th July 2007, 10:10 AM
I wonder if these same people picketed Star Wars for having a beeping penis as one of the supporting characters?

scratchy
8th July 2007, 11:29 AM
Why doesn't someone just put plastic bags over the posts? To make periodic replacement easier, the bags should have a protruding tip that can be easily grasped.

Problem solved!
Or even better: they could get giant soft toy animals, like pandas and teddybears, and cover the discusting poles by inserting them up the animals. Fun for the kids, the poles will still be there and fullfill their purpose, and itll be much cheaper than replacing them with other poles. Could anyone object to this? Nooo!

Alareth
8th July 2007, 04:57 PM
It is a traditional part of the coat of arms of Amsterdam (http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/0/05/Wapen_van_Amsterdam_bewerkt.PNG), dating back to the Middle Ages. It is therefore a symbol for Amsterdam, not a symbol for anything of 'questionable morality'.

And it is not XXX, it is:
X
X
X

Very different.

But

X
X
X

becomes XXX when I turn my head sideways

This whole thing says more about the psychology of the towns residents than anything else. I hope they never look up because there may be something offensive in a nice puffy cloud.

EatatJoes
8th July 2007, 09:04 PM
I'm assuming the residents of that city didn't buy these (http://www.soothie-pacifier.com/Soothie-Pacifiers_c_1.html) for their infant children.

BTW - they are the best pacifiers ever.

tsg
9th July 2007, 07:08 AM
I'm assuming the residents of that city didn't buy these (http://www.soothie-pacifier.com/Soothie-Pacifiers_c_1.html) for their infant children.

BTW - they are the best pacifiers ever.

My daughter got hooked on them in the ICU when she was born. You can only imagine the emergency when we lost it and can't buy them in stores around here. Luckily my wife works in the same hospital. They gave her a bag full of them.

Kerberos
9th July 2007, 07:38 AM
Funny how prudes always seem to have phallus-on-the-brain disorder. If not for the angle the picture was taken at, I wouldn't have looked twice.

This thread just begs for a Tom Lehrer reference so with no futher ado:

All books can be indecent books,
Though recent books are bolder.
For filth, Iím glad to say,
Is in the mind of the beholder.
When correctly viewed,
Everything is lewd.
I could tell you things about Peter Pan
And the Wizard of Oz ó thereís a dirty old man!

Replace relevant words as (in)appropriate.

EatatJoes
9th July 2007, 02:56 PM
My daughter got hooked on them in the ICU when she was born. You can only imagine the emergency when we lost it and can't buy them in stores around here. Luckily my wife works in the same hospital. They gave her a bag full of them.

I found them at my local Wal-Mart. We have at least 8 of them.