Ethics--Tithing

[Mercutio]

Strange things...

A neighbor whom I know only casually--I don't even know her name--stopped by the house for a few minutes the other day. "I don't know if you know this about me, but I am a born-again christian." (uh-oh, thinks I) "...and I have started tithing. I heard about your situation (long story, we are a bit strapped at the moment), and I think you need this more than I do," and she pushes sixty bucks into my hand.

I do try, several times, to push it back. It is quite clear that to refuse the money would be quite insulting to her; she feels she is doing god's work here, helping her neighbors, etc., and she leaves with a big smile.

From her point of view, all is well. From my point of view, if I keep this money I am taking advantage of someone's belief system. No, I did not ask her to send money to me and guarantee that her offering will come back to her tenfold, but this is still money that she gave me which, under my belief system, is quite simply ill-gotten.

I know what I did. What would you do?

[shemp]

I'd get a $60 hooker.

[Jekyll]

,I'd get a $60 hooker.

Bonus points for getting serviced outside the neighbour's house.

Seriously, I'd probably give in and take the money. However, if it's bothering you that much that you've been made to take advantage of her, pass the money on to a charity you support.

[kmortis]

Take it, use it to help you out, then pay attention to see when you can pay her back by helping her or someone else in a similar manner. Personally, I find her behavior to be representative of what's right with religion; fostering the willingness to help your community members when they're in need.

[Lord Muck oGentry]

From her point of view, all is well. From my point of view, if I keep this money I am taking advantage of someone's belief system. No, I did not ask her to send money to me and guarantee that her offering will come back to her tenfold, but this is still money that she gave me which, under my belief system, is quite simply ill-gotten.

I know what I did. What would you do?

Mercutio,

Let me say first that I am very sorry to hear of your difficulties. I hope your fortunes improve very soon, and that you'll be able to return the gift.

In the meantime, it matters that she offered the gift freely, even if you disagree with her reasons. And it matters that she did it because she values kindness.

I can't follow your suggestion that you are morally obliged to turn it down ( if that is in fact what you mean). To take a more extreme example: what would you say to a fiercely atheistic, starving tramp who is offered a meal by a sympathetic clergyman?

Of course, if you are not in dire need, then she may have offered the money under a misapprehension. In that case, you have to give it back.

Best wishes, as always.

[Miss Anthrope]

Take it, use it to help you out, then pay attention to see when you can pay her back by helping her or someone else in a similar manner. Personally, I find her behavior to be representative of what's right with religion; fostering the willingness to help your community members when they're in need.

Excellent advice. While I credit the heart of the person and not their faith, they are do what they think is right. Better given to a neighbor in need than a church.

[Miss Anthrope]

Mercutio,

Let me say first that I am very sorry to hear of your difficulties. I hope your fortunes improve very soon, and that you'll be able to return the gift.

In the meantime, it matters that she offered the gift freely, even if you disagree with her reasons. And it matters that she did it because she values kindness.

I can't follow your suggestion that you are morally obliged to turn it down ( if that is in fact what you mean). To take a more extreme example: what would you say to a fiercely atheistic, starving tramp who is offered a meal by a sympathetic clergyman?

Of course, if you are not in dire need, then she may have offered the money under a misapprehension. In that case, you have to give it back.

Best wishes, as always.

What a brilliant post.

[andyandy]

I know what I did. What would you do?

do the most un-born-again-christian thing you can think of with it....

...snort crystal meths off a rent boy's ballsack...?

oh wait, that's already been done ;)

[Darat]

Combination of kmortis & Lord Muck oGentry responses.

[andyandy]

Combination of kmortis & Lord Muck oGentry responses.

what no crystal meths or rent boys?

[Lord Muck oGentry]

what no crystal meths or rent boys?


The Broomielaw, any evening after 7.30. Just mention my name and tell 'em I said you get a special price...

[qayak]

I'd get a $60 hooker.

You could probably get 60 goats!

[qayak]

Mercutio,

Let me say first that I am very sorry to hear of your difficulties. I hope your fortunes improve very soon, and that you'll be able to return the gift.

In the meantime, it matters that she offered the gift freely, even if you disagree with her reasons. And it matters that she did it because she values kindness.

I can't follow your suggestion that you are morally obliged to turn it down ( if that is in fact what you mean). To take a more extreme example: what would you say to a fiercely atheistic, starving tramp who is offered a meal by a sympathetic clergyman?

Of course, if you are not in dire need, then she may have offered the money under a misapprehension. In that case, you have to give it back.

Best wishes, as always.

Yahtzee!

As long as it is given freely and with no strings attached, I don't see how charitable donations can be divided by religious viewpoints.

[Ryan O'Dine]

Personally, I don’t think you have to worry about “taking advantage” of someone’s belief system. On the other hand, I know people who would be grievously insulted to be offered charity, however bad their circumstances. For this reason, I feel she should have taken her kind offer back once it was refused.

I’m quite sure that some people give charity to feel good about themselves whatever the consequences to the receiver. It was Rabbi Akiva (I think) who famously ranked kinds of charitable giving in order of increasing morality, and at the top of the list was giving anonymously. I believe that part of the reason for this was to minimize the motivation for personal reward.

But this is one of my beefs with Christianity in general. It can be very me-centered, even where charity is concerned.

[Charlie Monoxide]

Sorry to hear that you're in a situation.

People like to be charitable. It feels good to help people out if you can. Take the charity. You religious friend will feel good for it.

Pay it back down the road or help someone else out if you can.

Charlie (a yin and yang thing) Monoxide

[Boo]

Smile and accept the gift in the spirit of it's intent. If all the bills are current and there is food in the cabinet, set it aside until it is needed. If within 3 months it is still sitting in the envelope then place it in their mailbox or other place where they will find it and a note with two words, Thank you.




Boo