A serious question about Zombies

[shemp]

When zombies attack, do they prefer high-IQ brains, or is any human brain good enough? If the former is true, then would it be a useful defense to act stupid if a zombie attacks, or can they sense my superior intellect anyway?

[headscratcher4]

Why would Zombies need human brains at all? Why wouldn't cow brains, for example, do?

Also, why do Zombies always wear clothing that is torn and tattered? I would think that they clothes would have been ok when they were put in the grave, but there they are and the clothes are tatterded? Is it so hard to dig out of your grave and not tear your clothes? Dirt, yse, I can see dirty clothes, but do they always have to tear them?

[evildave]

Zombie Source Material
http://www.hartford-hwp.com/archives/43a/127.html

Well, in 'Return of the Living Dead', we have the memorable quote:

Freddy: "I know you're up there 'cause I can smell your brain..."

Freddy: "If you loved me you'd let me eat your brain..."

Zombie: "Send more cops... Send more paramedics..."

I'm pretty sure that any living brain would do; Freddy's girlfriend didn't seem all that bright, after all.

And most of the zombies, given the choice, tended to grab the nearest living human to feast on.

In the ALL of the movies, the stupid people get cornered by lots of zombies, and eaten. Mostly because their stupid behavior gets them trapped more easily.

For this reason, I would have to say that zombies prefer stupid people, since they're easier prey.

[shemp]

Originally posted by headscratcher4
Why would Zombies need human brains at all? Why wouldn't cow brains, for example, do?

Also, why do Zombies always wear clothing that is torn and tattered? I would think that they clothes would have been ok when they were put in the grave, but there they are and the clothes are tatterded? Is it so hard to dig out of your grave and not tear your clothes? Dirt, yse, I can see dirty clothes, but do they always have to tear them?

To answer the second part first and the first part second, Zombies must dig out of their graves with their bare hands. This means they must force their way out of the coffin by breaking the wood. This leads to large pieces of sharp wood which tear the Zombie's clothing as it continues to dig its way upward.

As for their need for human brains, this is due to the fact that human brains are tastier. Also, if Zombies ate only cow brains, most people would leave the theater before the second reel, severely reducing concession stand sales.

[shemp]

Originally posted by evildave
Zombie Source Material
http://www.hartford-hwp.com/archives/43a/127.html

Well, in 'Return of the Living Dead', we have the memorable quote:

Freddy: "I know you're up there 'cause I can smell your brain..."

Freddy: "If you loved me you'd let me eat your brain..."

Zombie: "Send more cops... Send more paramedics..."

I'm pretty sure that any living brain would do; Freddy's girlfriend didn't seem all that bright, after all.

And most of the zombies, given the choice, tended to grab the nearest living human to feast on.

In the ALL of the movies, the stupid people get cornered by lots of zombies, and eaten. Mostly because their stupid behavior gets them trapped more easily.

For this reason, I would have to say that zombies prefer stupid people, since they're easier prey.

I think you've hit the proverbial nail on the head. Also, stupid victims are easier for the moviegoing public to relate to than intelligent victims. Plus, the brains of idiots are tastier.

[Marilyn_Manson]

evildave:
I would have to say that zombies prefer stupid people, since they're easier prey.

I would have to say that Christens prefer stupid people too, since they're easier prey. That's why Christens prefer lower-IQ brains because their stupid ideas about the world gets them trapped more easily. And if you are the prey of a Christen nut "DON'T" act stupid if he/she attacks you with a bible. Do like I do, and that's say hay look over there some are children learning about science! And they will no longer see you as someone that’s going to listen to their buls**t and leave.

[teddygrahams]

Originally posted by Marilyn_Manson
evildave:


I would have to say that Christens prefer stupid people too, since they're easier prey. That's why Christens prefer lower-IQ brains because their stupid ideas about the world gets them trapped more easily. And if you are the prey of a Christen nut "DON'T" act stupid if he/she attacks you with a bible. Do like I do, and that's say hay look over there some are children learning about science! And they will no longer see you as someone that’s going to listen to their buls**t and leave.

It's a well known fact that the spelling center of the brain is only tasty when under-developed....

I prefer to blend-in with the zombies, but the strategy tends to get you killed at the end of the movie....

[Yahweh]

Originally posted by Marilyn_Manson
I would have to say that Christens prefer stupid people too, since they're easier prey. That's why Christens prefer lower-IQ brains because their stupid ideas about the world gets them trapped more easily. And if you are the prey of a Christen nut "DON'T" act stupid if he/she attacks you with a bible. Do like I do, and that's say hay look over there some are children learning about science! And they will no longer see you as someone that’s going to listen to their buls**t and leave.
I think your on to something...

For a long time, I've had a hunch that IQ is inversely proportional to faith. Your hypothesis, and This data chart (http://www.randi.org/vbulletin/showthread.php?s=&postid=1870032026) appear to be confirmation. THE MYSTERY OF THE RELIGION RIDDLE HAS BEEN UNRAVELED! Mortals, this is our time to REVEL!

[Marilyn_Manson]

Originally posted by teddygrahams


It's a well known fact that the spelling center of the brain is only tasty when under-developed....

I prefer to blend-in with the zombies, but the strategy tends to get you killed at the end of the movie....

It's also a well known fact that zombies aren't REAL, but you can blend-in with the ChristIANs (that for the most part they don't kill you) and have a teddygraham and a smile. :)

[ImpyTimpy]

Geez Marilyn, if I didn't know better I'd say you have some sort of a personal grudge against Christians...

[Marilyn_Manson]

Originally posted by ImpyTimpy
Geez Marilyn, if I didn't know better I'd say you have some sort of a personal grudge against Christians...

Yes... Yes I do. It's their time to listen to the true nature of things and not hide behind a 2000 year old bible to make their own laws in this great country of ours. I'm sick of the ways that Christianity has blinded us into lies about the world and how we should live it.

[UnrepentantSinner]

I'm going to go out on a limb and prognosticate that you also think Wicca (or at the very least Wiccans) are cool.

[Marilyn_Manson]

Originally posted by UnrepentantSinner
I'm going to go out on a limb and prognosticate that you also think Wicca (or at the very least Wiccans) are cool.

Sorry UnrepentantSinner, I don't like wiccan, wicca or even that goth crape just the truth about what we are, where we are, and most inportant where we are going. ;)

[Yahweh]

Originally posted by ImpyTimpy
Geez Marilyn, if I didn't know better I'd say you have some sort of a personal grudge against Christians...
Hell of a lot better than AW.c...

[Yahweh]

Originally posted by UnrepentantSinner
I'm going to go out on a limb and prognosticate that you also think Wicca (or at the very least Wiccans) are cool.
Definitely!

[Marilyn_Manson]

Originally posted by Yahweh

Definitely!

BTW Yahweh your Avatar is a pentagram why? Do you worship Satan or is for the same reason my screen nane is Marilyn Manson, a joke?

I've read many of your posts and I no that you don't worship Satan, so give me a chance and you just might see me spell better? :wink:

[Marilyn_Manson]

No More Like this:

[evildave]

Actually, the "official" Christian bible dates back to only 367 AD.

The Protestant bible, 1546 AD.

(One of many articles about it...)
http://www.straightdope.com/mailbag/mbible5.html

[Marilyn_Manson]

Originally posted by evildave
Actually, the "official" Christian bible dates back to only 367 AD.

The Protestant bible, 1546 AD.

(One of many articles about it...)
http://www.straightdope.com/mailbag/mbible5.html

Thanks for the info and link evildave.

[evildave]

Always here to help. :)

[Shinytop]

After perusing the posts in this thread I have come to one hard and fast conclusion.

If zombies need brains to eat all of you are safe.

[evildave]

Har!

Actually, that site has another little historical gem:

Who Killed Jesus (http://www.straightdope.com/mailbag/mjesuskill.html)

[Renfield]

Originally posted by shemp


To answer the second part first and the first part second, Zombies must dig out of their graves with their bare hands. This means they must force their way out of the coffin by breaking the wood. This leads to large pieces of sharp wood which tear the Zombie's clothing as it continues to dig its way upward.

As for their need for human brains, this is due to the fact that human brains are tastier. Also, if Zombies ate only cow brains, most people would leave the theater before the second reel, severely reducing concession stand sales.

Human's also have very large brains relative to the size of our bodies, so perhaps it is more efficient for them to kill people and eat their brains?

[Chupacabras]

Originally posted by Renfield
Human's also have very large brains relative to the size of our bodies...

Mmm... Then , since they are death, why don't they just go into the water and eat dolph... Oh, I'd forgotten about environmentalists. Surely, they wouldn't want NGO's involved.

But more like the original question, why would zombies (and ghosts or vampires) want to kill you and make you a competitor? I always ask this question to my kids, but I guess they just need the thrill.

[Martin]

Originally posted by Renfield
Human's also have very large brains relative to the size of our bodies, so perhaps it is more efficient for them to kill people and eat their brains?But cows don't have shotguns.

[Martin]

Originally posted by Chupacabras
Oh, I'd forgotten about environmentalists. Surely, they wouldn't want NGO's involvedNo, indeed. No brains there.

[evildave]

Besides, even being dead, they wouldn't be able to catch a dolphin. Undead humans bloated with gas, flailing near the surface and shore like they shamble along on land, attracting water-borne predators and scavengers, versus an animal in its native environment that can swim up to 22MPH, or average 100 miles of travel a day, seldom has reason to be near shore, and can see the undead comming in the murkiest water from miles away.

Water would probably be an undead's nightmare. They're rotten. Getting wet will only increase the rate of rot by encouraging more fungal and bacterial growth. Of course, wherever they go, insects would be feasting on and colonizing them.

[Tormac]

This may be a little bit of topic drift, but I can't resist.

A friend and I, on discussing zombies, have decided that there are actually two distinct types of zombie. I suspect that it depends on whether you are asking about a necromantic zombie, or a hoodoo zombie.

The hoodoo zombie is technically not an undead, but brain damaged to the point of easily being controlled by its master. This brain damage also tricks the soul into leaving the body, and thus creating the status of the zombie. Hoodoo Zombies would still have to eat for biological reasons. I don’t think that for the hoodoo zombie, the type of protein they consume really matters, therefore the intelligence of the victim, I mean dinner, does not matter as well. For more reference on the hoodoo zombie see the classic documentary “The Serpent and the Rainbow” (director Wes Craven, 1987) or the textbook of the same title written by Wade Davis.

The hoodoo Zombie differs from the necromantic zombie in its method of creation, and its biological state. The soul is driven out of the hoodoo zombie, but the body is still alive. The classical zombie of the Western World is the necromantic zombie, or “undead” zombie. With the necromantic zombie the corpse is dead, and inhabited, or at least under the direct control of a malevolent spirit/entity/ or a living master of necromancy. These zombies are not biologically alive, and so do not “need” to eat. They often do though, just out of spite for the living. These zombies may conceivably seek out the best target to strike against our oppressive, life centric society. Thus they may selectively try to eat the “cream of the living”, so to speak. The necromantic zombie is the one that would select its victim based on the victim’s positive value to society. They would leave a drunk in the gutter alone in favor of eating a doctor for example.

For a reference to the necromantic zombie, I would recommend the series of movies collectively referred to as “those dumb Evil dead movies” (see “Evil Dead”, director Sam Raimi, 1981)

[urstardust]

Originally posted by Shinytop
After perusing the posts in this thread I have come to one hard and fast conclusion.

If zombies need brains to eat all of you are safe.

Amen brother Shinytop!

[elliotfc]

Top 3 zombie movies...

-Cemetery Man
-Dead Alive
-Dawn of the Dead

-Elliot (not a zombie movie)

[Ipecac]

What is the criteria for becoming a zombie if you're attacked by one?

Once you die, which would happen pretty quickly if someone is feasting on your brain, do you become a zombie while they're eating you? (In which case you would just tell them to back off, because, hey, we're both zombies.)

Or do you only become a zombie once your brain is eaten? Or do you not become a zombie at all, just dead?

I need to know as it will affect my strategy if confronted by the walking dead.

[elliotfc]

Originally posted by Ipecac
What is the criteria for becoming a zombie if you're attacked by one?

Varies from movie to movie. Usually a bite means you're done for. Either you'll turn real quick (28 days later) or slow (Dawn of the dead). In Shatter Dead, all you have to do is die and you will eventually come back to life as a zombie.

Once you die, which would happen pretty quickly if someone is feasting on your brain, do you become a zombie while they're eating you? (In which case you would just tell them to back off, because, hey, we're both zombies.)

No, there is usually some lag time (with the exception of 28 days later, but they are only sort of zombies). And zombies never eat each other. Weird. Brains is mainly a Return of the Living Dead deal, most zombie flicks they just go for recently deceased human flesh.

Or do you only become a zombie once your brain is eaten? Or do you not become a zombie at all, just dead?

Once the brain is gone you never become a zombie.

I need to know as it will affect my strategy if confronted by the walking dead.

A suit covered with many pointy knives and spikes and stuff should keep you safe. You need to keep a distance between you and their hands/mouths.

-Elliot

[Ladewig]

Plus, the brains of idiots are tastier.

That's because of the fat marbling. Mmmmm.

[Agammamon]

Originally posted by shemp
When zombies attack, do they prefer high-IQ brains, or is any human brain good enough? If the former is true, then would it be a useful defense to act stupid if a zombie attacks, or can they sense my superior intellect anyway?

Most zombies prefer stupid brains for the same reason that most of us prefer to go to the supermarket rather than hunt/grow our food. Its easier and more convienient. However there are some "sportszombies" that like the thrill of the hunt and swear that nothing tastes better than brains after a hard chase.