Nebraska State Senator Sues God

[Bri]

Nebraska State Senator Sues God:

http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=D8RNGPR00&show_article=1&catnum=0

LINCOLN, Neb. (AP) - The defendant in a state senator's lawsuit is accused of causing untold death and horror and threatening to cause more still. He can be sued in Douglas County, the legislator claims, because He's everywhere.

Alas, he seems to have done it for the wrong reasons:

State Sen. Ernie Chambers sued God last week. Angered by another lawsuit he considers frivolous, Chambers says he's trying to make the point that anybody can file a lawsuit against anybody.

-Bri

[Ryokan]

I was there first. (http://forums.randi.org/showthread.php?t=93679)

For a 'joke', his accusations are spot on :D

[truethat]

Love it.

[Bri]

I was there first. (http://forums.randi.org/showthread.php?t=93679)

So you did! I was looking for the word "Nebraska" and completely missed your post!

Yeah, it's unfortunate that he will probably drop the suit now that he's made his point. I'd love to see him go to trial with this, but I'm guessing that the case would quickly degenerate into something else since he doesn't seem to actually believe his own accusations.

-Bri

[triadboy]

God will be defended by Johnny Cochran

Mary. the virgin mother, and baby Jesus are so upset they decided to stay in the Bahamas for a while.

[fuelair]

God will be defended by Johnny Cochran

Mary. the virgin mother, and baby Jesus are so upset they decided to stay in the Bahamas for a while.
Re first line: one nothing lawyering for another nothing.

[Phlebas]

James Morrow would be proud.

[zombiebex]

Unfortunetly, it appears that the "frivilous lawsuit" he's making a parody of is in response to a rape trial (http://www.law.com/jsp/article.jsp?id=1189451732150&pos=ataglance)where the word "rape" was banned. The victim ignored the judge's order, used the word rape, and is now suing. Link is seen here (http://www.ketv.com/news/14133442/detail.html).

Chambers said he decided to file the lawsuit after a suit was filed in early September in federal court against Lancaster County Judge Jeffre Cheuvront. He's the judge who was hearing a sexual assault case in which the plaintiff wants to use the words rape and victim during her testimony.

[linusrichard]

The Plaintiff's jurisdictional allegations might be good, but if I were the judge, I would probably dismiss for insufficient service of process.

[Fnord]

Just where would God get a lawyer good enough to defend Him, anyway?

...

An attorney was sitting in his office late one night, when the Devil appeared before him. The Devil told the lawyer, "I have a proposition for you. You can win every case you try, for the rest of your life. Your clients will adore you, your colleagues will stand in awe of you, and you will make embarrassing sums of money. All I want in exchange is your soul, your wife's soul, your children's souls, the souls of your parents, grandparents, and parents-in-law, and the souls of all of your friends and law partners."

The lawyer thought about this for a moment, then asked, "So, what's the catch?"

...

Satan was complaining bitterly to God, "You made the world so that it was not fair, and you made it so that most people would have to struggle every day, fight against their innate wishes and desires, and deal with all sorts of losses, grief, disasters, and catastrophes. Yet people worship and adore you. People fight, get arrested, and cheat each other, and I get blamed, even when it is not my fault. Sure, I'm evil, but give me a break. Can't you do something to make them stop blaming me?"

And so God created lawyers.

...

A lawyer calls his client to tell him about his fee schedule.

"Alright," the lawyer says looking through his papers. "You owe me $1000 down and $417.58 cents each month for the next thirty-six months.

"What! That sounds like a car payment schedule," retorted the client.

"Your right. It's mine."

[kmortis]

Just where would God get a lawyer good enough to defend Him, anyway?

...

An attorney was sitting in his office late one night, when the Devil appeared before him. The Devil told the lawyer, "I have a proposition for you. You can win every case you try, for the rest of your life. Your clients will adore you, your colleagues will stand in awe of you, and you will make embarrassing sums of money. All I want in exchange is your soul, your wife's soul, your children's souls, the souls of your parents, grandparents, and parents-in-law, and the souls of all of your friends and law partners."

The lawyer thought about this for a moment, then asked, "So, what's the catch?"

...

Satan was complaining bitterly to God, "You made the world so that it was not fair, and you made it so that most people would have to struggle every day, fight against their innate wishes and desires, and deal with all sorts of losses, grief, disasters, and catastrophes. Yet people worship and adore you. People fight, get arrested, and cheat each other, and I get blamed, even when it is not my fault. Sure, I'm evil, but give me a break. Can't you do something to make them stop blaming me?"

And so God created lawyers.

...

A lawyer calls his client to tell him about his fee schedule.

"Alright," the lawyer says looking through his papers. "You owe me $1000 down and $417.58 cents each month for the next thirty-six months.

"What! That sounds like a car payment schedule," retorted the client.

"Your right. It's mine."

How many lawyer jokes are there?

Three, the rest are all true.

[Gib]

Johnny Cochran would have a new "Chewbacca defense".

"This is God. He lives in Heaven. This is Jesus. He is God, and also God's son. This does not make sense. If it doesn't make sense, you must aquit. I rest my case".

[Tumblehome]

A lawsuit against God is cute, but a countersuit--now that would be a story.

[Magic 9-Ball]

I'd travel just to see God on the stand. I don't think it would be like George Burns, either. Maybe something more along the lines of "The Holy Grail": "Stop groveling!"

As far as the "frivolous lawsuit" for the rape case, I don't think it's frivolous, myself. If the man's being tried for “first-degree sexual assault”, you should be able to use any dictionary or common term that defines the actions. And part of that is assault, rape, forced, etc...

She's putting herself out there in hopes this doesn't happen again. The trial is hard enough to go through in the first place.

[zombiebex]

Exactly. Why should a rape victim be able to say she's a rape victim in trial? Because it unfairly paints the accused rapist as an... accused rapist? It's bonkers, and not at all frivolous.

[GodMark2]

Exactly. Why should a rape victim be able to say she's a rape victim in trial? Because it unfairly paints the accused rapist as an... accused rapist? It's bonkers, and not at all frivolous.

No, because whether or not a series of events is rape is what the court is there to decide. It is up to the jury (or judge in a bench trial) to determine the believability of the witness, assess the weight of the factual evidence, and apply the definition of the crime determined by statute. The witness (which the victim becomes while testifying) is only allowed to give statements of witnessed fact, not legal conclusions. "He raped me" is a legal conclusion. "He tied me to the bed and has sex with me while I repeatedly screamed 'DON'T' and 'STOP'" is a statement of witnessed fact. The first statement is not allowable, the second is.

(The above is applicable in most jurisdictions in the United States, specific circumstances may vary)

[Meadmaker]

I actually once read a real legal opinion in a case in which the defendants were "Satan and His Staff". The judge dismissed the case. I can't remember the specific legal grounds, but I think it had something to do with the fact that the defendant was unlikely to appear in court.

[linusrichard]

I actually once read a real legal opinion in a case in which the defendants were "Satan and His Staff". The judge dismissed the case. I can't remember the specific legal grounds, but I think it had something to do with the fact that the defendant was unlikely to appear in court.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_ex_rel._Gerald_Mayo_v._Satan_and_His _Staff

[petra10]

I seem to remember Billy Connelly was in a film about sueing god.I think it was an Australian film were an insurance company would not pay out on a claim because they claimed it was "an act of god" so Billy tried to sue god.I'll try and find out what it was called.

[Ian Perez]

Found it--appropiately enough, in that Wikipedia link linusrichard posted: it's called The Man Who Sued God (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Man_Who_Sued_God). Is it any good?

[petra10]

Thats the very one :) Cheers.

[Baron Samedi]

And it looks like "God" has answered the lawsuit

http://www.ctv.ca/servlet/ArticleNews/story/CTVNews/20070921/suing_god_070921/20070921?hub=TopStories

Just curious... isn't there a law about creating false testimony?

[Bri]

Did anyone else notice the halo around the Senator's head in the photo attached to that story?

-Bri

[Baron Samedi]

Did anyone else notice the halo around the Senator's head in the photo attached to that story?

-Bri

What, are you saying that there's bias in media, that the AP would pull a photo from 2006 to attach to this story?

This story really amuses me to no end. :D

[Alareth]

I'd travel just to see God on the stand. I don't think it would be like George Burns, either. Maybe something more along the lines of "The Holy Grail": "Stop groveling!"

"Will the Almighty please take the stand. Baliff, swear him in."

"Please raise your right hand. Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help you ... er ... You?"

[DangerousBeliefs]

People around Omaha know Ernie quite well... he's what you'd call COO COO FOR COCOPUFFS.

But folks in his district keep voting him back in... it's so bad Nebraska recently passed a law, specifically to get good ol' Ernie booted out of the legislature (http://www.journalstar.com/articles/2005/11/28/local/doc438b5fefd488c924437149.txt).

I believe Nebraska's state motto is - Screwing up the simple stuff since 1867.

(By the way, I'd like to thank all the Nebraskans who vote down gambling every 4 years - thank you for paying my taxes.)