Gravity Theory overheard in a coffee shop

[Fnord]

Here's a new one: "There's no such thing as gravity."

General principles:

1) Every object that takes up space and has mass exists for us only in it's most probable location.

2) Every object exists in out standard 3 physical dimensions, plus a limited number of others.

3) The inverse-square law of gravitational force is a direct measurement of an object's other probable locations.

4) Gravity itself is an expression upon our universe of an object's existance in other locations in other dimensions.

5) Thus, gravity is not a force to be unified with the electro-mag-weak-strong forces.

... then a miracle occurs ...

10) Voila! Anti-gravity!

(Okay, I added that last one.)

Granted, not much real science is done a Starbucks over mocha latte's these days, but the person speaking did not have that manic glazed-eyed look that you see on twoofers and conspiracy theorists.

Has anyone ever heard anything like the "theory" described in steps 1 through 5 above?

[Mojo]

The stuff about "probable locations" sounds horribly as if they're going to try to invoke QM.

I prefer Intelligent Falling (http://www.theonion.com/content/node/39512).

[Fnord]

The stuff about "probable locations" sounds horribly as if they're going to try to invoke QM.

I prefer Intelligent Falling (http://www.theonion.com/content/node/39512).


Couple that with the old "Sinners In The Hand Of An Angry God (http://members.aol.com/jonathanedw/Sinners.html)" sermon, and you might be on to something.

[genesplicer]

Larry Niven wrote a story where he hypothesized that fog is not the result of ground-level clouds, but is a place where the multiple universes overlap. The "fogginess" of fog has to do with the slightly different locations of objects in all these universes. When you see a blurry light you are looking at the probability curve of where all those possible lights are in all the overlapping universes.

According to the story, it is possible, actually probable to move from one universe to another in these foggy areas. Most people never notice, because the human mind is somehow modified to "fit in" to the new reality. People who go missing often have moved into a new universe. Somehow, they fit into the new universe without missing a beat. They have a place to live, friends, etc. That part Niven never explained. The whole story was told from the point of view of two people who knew when they stepped across, and remembered their previous universes.

[Lensman]

Newton & Einstein were both wrong - the Earth sucks! ;) :D

[Mojo]

Larry Niven wrote a story where he hypothesized that fog is not the result of ground-level clouds, but is a place where the multiple universes overlap.


What about De Selby's theory (From Flann O'Brien's novel The Third Policeman) that "night" is in fact caused by the accumulation of soot during the day?

[Pyrts]

It sounds like a rather bad take on string theory.

[casebro]

This sounds like the "Gravity Corollary" to the old philosophical concept that things only exist as long as somebody is thinking about them. If nobody, anywhere, thinks about Tibet, then Tibet ceases to exist. Until somebody thinks about it. Therefor, imagine it and it becomes reality. Very WOO, in all caps.

[Professor Yaffle]

This sounds like the "Gravity Corollary" to the old philosophical concept that things only exist as long as somebody is thinking about them. If nobody, anywhere, thinks about Tibet, then Tibet ceases to exist. Until somebody thinks about it. Therefor, imagine it and it becomes reality. Very WOO, in all caps.

"I have spoken to one cat, and to many. And wherever I have gone, my message is the same...

"Dream it!

"Dream the world. Not this pallid shadow of reality. Dream the world the way it truly is. A world in which all cats are queens and kings of creation. That is my message."


A Dream of a Thousand Cats, Neil Gaiman

[Lisa Simpson]

I thought that thing we call gravity was just His Noodliness pressing down on everything with His Noodly Appendages. Don't confuse me with facts, please.

[Normal Dude]

I thought that thing we call gravity was just His Noodliness pressing down on everything with His Noodly Appendages. Don't confuse me with facts, please.

Agreed. And now, if you will excuse me, I must flagellate myself with a wet noddle (For His Noodliness) to repent for hearing the heresy in this thread.

;)

[phaed]

1) Every object that takes up space and has mass exists for us only in it's most probable location.

2) Every object exists in out standard 3 physical dimensions, plus a limited number of others.

3) The inverse-square law of gravitational force is a direct measurement of an object's other probable locations.

4) Gravity itself is an expression upon our universe of an object's existance in other locations in other dimensions.

5) Thus, gravity is not a force to be unified with the electro-mag-weak-strong forces.


If they could design an experiment to confirm or disconfirm this hypothesis, and produce equations that describe the results mathematically, they might have something. Until then it's just mental masturbation.

[NoAstronomer]

4) Gravity itself is an expression upon our universe of an object's existance in other locations in other dimensions.


Very curious, since this would imply that an objects existence in other locations in other dimensions are affected or determined by the location of *other* objects in *this* dimension - objects moved by gravity are never attracted toward empty space.