Originally Posted by
eight bits
Well, one bit of good news is that, being a non-believer, there is no "religious" obligation for you to "speak up" when nobody is going to thank you for your input anyway. You're not letting down the side. There is no side to let down.
It sounds as if you wish both your good friend and your mother well. Also, you seem to be searching still, albeit not in the religious devotional aisle. Of such facts are non-committal and fully true conversational mortar made, the conversational transition-markers that work so well when the subject is being tactfully changed.
There are people in my life with whom I don't discuss religion, just as there are other people in my life with whom I don't discuss politics, and others still with whom I don't discuss sexuality. It's not that religion, politics and sexuality are uninteresting or unimportant to me, but rather that none of them is the totality of my life, nor of anybody else's life whom I know personally.
Common ground probably exists, and with a lot of people, maybe even most people. Find the common ground and make your stand there. Come to JREF when you need to be "Unholier than thou."
You'll do fine, I'd wager.
I like this answer. I think I'll just second it.