A UU Christmas Carol

madurobob · 13th December 2009, 09:32 AM

My wife and 10 year old son attend the local UU church. My son has been rehearsing recently for his role in the holiday play, so I went with them to church today to see the play. It was written entirely by the middle school students in the church and acted by kids from 3 to 18. I want to share what I saw there.

The play opens with Mary and Joseph in the manger. They are not married and both are only 13. There is the usual parade of folks bringing gifts. God, a 17 year old girl in a toga, explains the situation and the gift of the baby she's given Mary.

We jump ahead three years. Joseph is an unemployed carpenter, Mary is at her wits end dealing with young Jesus. They pray for guidance. God comes, suggests foster parents and Mary and Joseph agree. God, disguised as a social worker, jumps forward 2000 years and introduces Jesus to his new foster parents; the homosexual couple of Perry Noel (dressed in white-fringed red coat) and The Grinch (who speaks only in rhyme). And, of course, the Grinch's dog Max (my son!).

Life is initially good for the new family. But there is tension when The Grinch, a tree hugging non-materialistic hippie cannot abide Perry Noel's constant showering of gifts on Jesus and his general obsession with material things. They decide to divorce. In court, the judge awards custody of Jesus to Perry Noel. Max lifts his leg and pees on the judge's desk.

Perry Noel and Jesus move to LA where Perry Noel plans to get Jesus into acting in commercials. But, after years of trying (Jesus is now 13) they find themselves racked with credit card debt and about to lose their home to debt collectors. Perry Noel only works one month a year delivering toys, afterall. They call The Grinch for Help and he agrees providing Perry Noel comes and visits three nearby houses.

They visit three houses, one in MeVille, one in YouVille and one in WhoVille. The YouVille family is syrupy sweet and cares nothing about material things or receiving gifts, but love giving gifts. The MeVille family is just the opposite. The WhoVille family is somewhere in between, enjoying material things in moderation and enjoying both giving and receiving gifts. Both Perry Noel and The Grinch see the errors of their ways and decide to give marriage another try. Jesus notices that Cindy Lou Who is "hot" and gets her number before they go. They start dating soon after.

At Jesus' bar mitzvah God returns and tells everyone Mary and Joseph are back on their feet and its time for Jesus to come back. She teleports everyone back to Nazareth in the year 13. Jesus is happy to meet his birth parents and agrees to stay with them. He asks Cindy Lou Who to marry him, but she politely declines pointing out she's only 13 and there is no internet in the year 13 and would prefer to live in her time/place. Jesus agrees this is best, but explains that his heart is broken, so he will remain forever a bachelor.

The Rabbi sing Jesus his bar mitzvah song - "Forever Young" and everyone joins in the chorus. The end. Huge applause.

So, I loved it... but, wow. Anyone seen anything like this in Church before? What are they feeding middle school kids these days?

quixotecoyote · 13th December 2009, 11:24 AM

If you get a cool UU church, you get the lovely bizareeness presented above. Unfortunately, those churches have a HUGE range in variety. The one in Kansas City, for example, is mainline protestant.

Aepervius · 13th December 2009, 11:56 AM

Just as a quick question, what is UU ? Not Unseen University I assume

. Unitarian Universalist maybe (google) ?

madurobob · 13th December 2009, 12:26 PM

Originally Posted by Aepervius

Just as a quick question, what is UU ? Not Unseen University I assume

. Unitarian Universalist maybe (google) ?

I wish the former, if only for the subtle leaking of magic into nearby environs. But it is, in fact, the latter.

kedo1981 · 13th December 2009, 01:28 PM

Think you should invite some "fundys" and film their reactions.

madurobob · 13th December 2009, 01:36 PM

I did video the whole thing from the pews. I wish I had permission to send the video to Glenn Beck to make him cry. Or, at least get it onto youtube. But, alas, it was written and performed by minors and I don't think it'd be right - or legal - to post w/o permission from many, many parents.

13th December 2009, 09:32 AM	#1
madurobob Philosopher Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Blue Heaven, NC Posts: 5,522	A UU Christmas Carol My wife and 10 year old son attend the local UU church. My son has been rehearsing recently for his role in the holiday play, so I went with them to church today to see the play. It was written entirely by the middle school students in the church and acted by kids from 3 to 18. I want to share what I saw there. The play opens with Mary and Joseph in the manger. They are not married and both are only 13. There is the usual parade of folks bringing gifts. God, a 17 year old girl in a toga, explains the situation and the gift of the baby she's given Mary. We jump ahead three years. Joseph is an unemployed carpenter, Mary is at her wits end dealing with young Jesus. They pray for guidance. God comes, suggests foster parents and Mary and Joseph agree. God, disguised as a social worker, jumps forward 2000 years and introduces Jesus to his new foster parents; the homosexual couple of Perry Noel (dressed in white-fringed red coat) and The Grinch (who speaks only in rhyme). And, of course, the Grinch's dog Max (my son!). Life is initially good for the new family. But there is tension when The Grinch, a tree hugging non-materialistic hippie cannot abide Perry Noel's constant showering of gifts on Jesus and his general obsession with material things. They decide to divorce. In court, the judge awards custody of Jesus to Perry Noel. Max lifts his leg and pees on the judge's desk. Perry Noel and Jesus move to LA where Perry Noel plans to get Jesus into acting in commercials. But, after years of trying (Jesus is now 13) they find themselves racked with credit card debt and about to lose their home to debt collectors. Perry Noel only works one month a year delivering toys, afterall. They call The Grinch for Help and he agrees providing Perry Noel comes and visits three nearby houses. They visit three houses, one in MeVille, one in YouVille and one in WhoVille. The YouVille family is syrupy sweet and cares nothing about material things or receiving gifts, but love giving gifts. The MeVille family is just the opposite. The WhoVille family is somewhere in between, enjoying material things in moderation and enjoying both giving and receiving gifts. Both Perry Noel and The Grinch see the errors of their ways and decide to give marriage another try. Jesus notices that Cindy Lou Who is "hot" and gets her number before they go. They start dating soon after. At Jesus' bar mitzvah God returns and tells everyone Mary and Joseph are back on their feet and its time for Jesus to come back. She teleports everyone back to Nazareth in the year 13. Jesus is happy to meet his birth parents and agrees to stay with them. He asks Cindy Lou Who to marry him, but she politely declines pointing out she's only 13 and there is no internet in the year 13 and would prefer to live in her time/place. Jesus agrees this is best, but explains that his heart is broken, so he will remain forever a bachelor. The Rabbi sing Jesus his bar mitzvah song - "Forever Young" and everyone joins in the chorus. The end. Huge applause. So, I loved it... but, wow. Anyone seen anything like this in Church before? What are they feeding middle school kids these days?
	__________________ Insert witty phrase or out of context post by another member here.

13th December 2009, 11:24 AM	#2
quixotecoyote Howling to glory I go Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 9,621	If you get a cool UU church, you get the lovely bizareeness presented above. Unfortunately, those churches have a HUGE range in variety. The one in Kansas City, for example, is mainline protestant.
	__________________ If people needed video games to live, a national single payer plan to fund those purchases would be a great idea.

13th December 2009, 11:56 AM	#3
Aepervius Philosopher Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Bierland. I mean , germany. Posts: 7,745	Just as a quick question, what is UU ? Not Unseen University I assume . Unitarian Universalist maybe (google) ?
	__________________ Omnes Blessant Ultima necat "I want, and this is my last and most dear wish, I want that the last of the king be strangled with the guts of the last priest" (Jean Meslier / 1664-1729 / Testament) A very early french atheist, a catholic priest in life.

13th December 2009, 12:26 PM	#4
madurobob Philosopher Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Blue Heaven, NC Posts: 5,522	Originally Posted by Aepervius Just as a quick question, what is UU ? Not Unseen University I assume . Unitarian Universalist maybe (google) ? I wish the former, if only for the subtle leaking of magic into nearby environs. But it is, in fact, the latter.
	__________________ Insert witty phrase or out of context post by another member here.

13th December 2009, 01:28 PM	#5
kedo1981 Master Poster Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: ohio Posts: 2,079	Think you should invite some "fundys" and film their reactions.
	__________________ "Prove all things, hold fast that which is good" (I Thessalonians 5:21) I readily admit I don’t know enough to say for sure that there is no God. But I do know enough so say that anyone who claims to know the mind and will of a being such as God is a liar. I have no problem with Jesus, but his fan club sucks!

13th December 2009, 01:36 PM	#6
madurobob Philosopher Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Blue Heaven, NC Posts: 5,522	I did video the whole thing from the pews. I wish I had permission to send the video to Glenn Beck to make him cry. Or, at least get it onto youtube. But, alas, it was written and performed by minors and I don't think it'd be right - or legal - to post w/o permission from many, many parents.
	__________________ Insert witty phrase or out of context post by another member here.