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Old 1st March 2011, 06:51 PM   #1
MattusMaximus
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Thumbs up Good Joke: "A public union employee, tea party activist, and corporate CEO are..."

Here's a good one, pass it on: "A public union employee, a tea party activist and a CEO are sitting at a table with a plate of a dozen cookies in the middle of it. The CEO takes 11 of the cookies, turns to the tea partier and says, "Watch out for that union guy, he wants a piece of your cookie."

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Old 1st March 2011, 06:53 PM   #2
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Old 1st March 2011, 07:13 PM   #3
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So the tea partier and the public union employee are both at fault for sitting there while the CEO took 11 cookies? If neither of them have the balls to take back some of the 11 cookies what do they have left but to fight over the remaining one?
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Old 1st March 2011, 07:16 PM   #4
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I saw this joke in the comments section of some online article this morning. I forget which one though.
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Old 1st March 2011, 07:21 PM   #5
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Originally Posted by MattusMaximus View Post
Here's a good one, pass it on: "A public union employee, a tea party activist and a CEO are sitting at a table with a plate of a dozen cookies in the middle of it. The CEO takes 11 of the cookies, turns to the tea partier and says, "Watch out for that union guy, he wants a piece of your cookie."

Because how the Federal government decides to waste its money has eff-all to do with how the several states are going to balance their budgets this year, right?

I'm sure Wisconsin would love to get back the tax dollars that were taken out of the state and spent on TARP bailouts, but that money is long gone (and let's be honest: even the Federal government hadn't spent it on CEOs, they would have spent it on something else equally useless for the purposes of balancing Wisconsin's state budget this year).

And I'm sure Wisconsin would love to balance their budget by not paying CEOs tons of money, but actually Wisconsin already doesn't pay CEOs tons of money. CEOs get paid by the private sector, or by the Federal government.

You know who Wisconsin pays tons of money to? Public union employees. Which makes sense, if you think about it for two seconds or so. Another thing that makes sense is, Wisconsin looking at expenses it can control, and trying to control those expenses.

And the fact of the matter is, public union employees must, by definition, take a piece of your cookie. It's your cookie that pays them.

It's not really much of a joke. It mischaracterizes the debate, ignores some of the most important players, and completely misdirects attention from the actual problem to be solved. It's less a joke and more a cheap, mean-spirited magic trick.
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Old 2nd March 2011, 01:59 AM   #6
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Originally Posted by theprestige View Post
You know who Wisconsin pays tons of money to? Public union employees. Which makes sense, if you think about it for two seconds or so. Another thing that makes sense is, Wisconsin looking at expenses it can control, and trying to control those expenses.
They could start by telling Snott Walker to take a walk. How is it going to balance the bufdget to end control of wetlanmds and turn over state-owned utilities to some fat maggot and then buy the sevices back?

Listen vewry carefully when the union people tell you where the money in their pension funds comes from.

They delayed collection on part of their wages in exchange for the state's setting up the pension funds. They paid into the system. You can bet your ass that they each paid many times more than the average whiney baby who blames them for the budget problem paid in taxes. The pension fund is fully solvent. Wanker just wants to find a way to steal it so that he can pretend to have balanced the budget, if he ever does.

Quote:
And the fact of the matter is, public union employees must, by definition, take a piece of your cookie. It's your cookie that pays them.
Oh, stop it. You have no monety that is really yours until your utility bills are paid. Government is a public utility. Pay your bill and stop whining.
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Old 2nd March 2011, 04:19 AM   #7
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It is funny in my opinion.
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Old 2nd March 2011, 05:42 AM   #8
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Is there any way that all three persons could choke to death on whatever cookies they managed to eat? I would find that amusing.
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Old 2nd March 2011, 06:23 AM   #9
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Originally Posted by theprestige View Post
Because how the Federal government decides to waste its money has eff-all to do with how the several states are going to balance their budgets this year, right?

I'm sure Wisconsin would love to get back the tax dollars that were taken out of the state and spent on TARP bailouts, but that money is long gone (and let's be honest: even the Federal government hadn't spent it on CEOs, they would have spent it on something else equally useless for the purposes of balancing Wisconsin's state budget this year).
Explain how tax dollars were taken out of the state for the TARP bailouts. Also tell me how much you think those bailouts ended up costing. Hopefully as you research to answer that question you will stumble on some interesting information.

Originally Posted by theprestige View Post
And I'm sure Wisconsin would love to balance their budget by not paying CEOs tons of money, but actually Wisconsin already doesn't pay CEOs tons of money. CEOs get paid by the private sector, or by the Federal government.

You know who Wisconsin pays tons of money to? Public union employees. Which makes sense, if you think about it for two seconds or so. Another thing that makes sense is, Wisconsin looking at expenses it can control, and trying to control those expenses.
Silliness.

What do those public union employees do? Sit on their ass? Or do they provide necessary services to the state?

Walker, like most teatards, wants to destroy public sector work and replace it with private contracting. This does not save money, it just funnels it through corporations instead of going directly to the people providing the services.

Private contracting works very well in some situations, very poorly in others (see Afghanistan, Iraq). Take, for example, my home state of Kansas. A little over a decade ago the decided to privatize all of their social services. It has been an absolute disaster. They now spend more money than they did in the past and achieve worse results. When they audited the 5 companies that now provide child services, not a single one managed to keep 80% of the children in their care properly nourished. They couldn't get them to go to school, failed to provide basic medical coverage, and failed on every level.

And again, it costs the state MORE money.

What is your market based solution for providing education in Wisconsin? Parents are now consumers and their kids can only go to school if they can afford it?

Originally Posted by theprestige View Post
And the fact of the matter is, public union employees must, by definition, take a piece of your cookie. It's your cookie that pays them.
And in return we receive important services.

Originally Posted by theprestige View Post
It's not really much of a joke. It mischaracterizes the debate, ignores some of the most important players, and completely misdirects attention from the actual problem to be solved. It's less a joke and more a cheap, mean-spirited magic trick.
Hmm, I guess it hit home. I believe the internet phrase is "butthurt."
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Old 2nd March 2011, 06:29 AM   #10
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Worst joke ever.

Besides liberals, that is.
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Old 2nd March 2011, 06:35 AM   #11
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Originally Posted by Grizzly Adams View Post
Worst joke ever.

Besides liberals, that is.
Would it be funny if the union guy ate most of the cookies and the other two were an IRS agent and a tea party guy? i think it has potential.
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Old 2nd March 2011, 06:44 AM   #12
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Originally Posted by eeyore1954 View Post
Would it be funny if the union guy ate most of the cookies and the other two were an IRS agent and a tea party guy? i think it has potential.
I think we need to work Charlie Sheen into the joke as well. Maybe he could be injecting the cookie crumbs into his veins, as a statement about the madness of current political economy. And I'm still not entirely sure what a Lady Gaga is, maybe that could be at the next table over.
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Old 2nd March 2011, 06:53 AM   #13
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Originally Posted by theprestige View Post
It's not really much of a joke. It mischaracterizes the debate, ignores some of the most important players, and completely misdirects attention from the actual problem to be solved. It's less a joke and more a cheap, mean-spirited magic trick.
From the point of view of alot of people, the concentration of wealth in the hands of a small elite is the actual problem to be solved.
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Old 2nd March 2011, 06:53 AM   #14
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Originally Posted by TragicMonkey View Post
I think we need to work Charlie Sheen into the joke as well. Maybe he could be injecting the cookie crumbs into his veins, as a statement about the madness of current political economy. And I'm still not entirely sure what a Lady Gaga is, maybe that could be at the next table over.
Would also be funnier if they were walking into a bar and one had a talking parrot on his shoulder?
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Old 2nd March 2011, 07:03 AM   #15
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More funny: Lady Gaga is wearing a dead Parrot on her shoulder and the union guy, played convincingly by Charlie Sheen swears that the parrot is alive and that it's only sleeping. Then, the taxpayer pulls out a Samurai sword and committs sepuku.
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Old 2nd March 2011, 07:11 AM   #16
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Okay, here's a step towards a funnier version that manages to capture the intended meaning:

Three people are sitting in a cookie bar, eating drugs. One is Charlie Sheen, another is the CEO of the talent agency that represents him, and the third is a Tea Party activist who is a fan of Lady Gaga. A parrot flies up and says something pro-union, whereupon Charlie Sheen overturns the table and propositions the Tea Party activist. During the resulting fracas, the CEO steals the rest of the cookies, but is murdered by Cookie Monster in a robbery attempt gone awry. Cookie Monster is the governor of Wisconsin for this joke. Also, Sarah Palin is the waitress, and Obama grew the drugs at his childhood birthplace in Kenya.
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Old 2nd March 2011, 07:18 AM   #17
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Originally Posted by TragicMonkey View Post
Okay, here's a step towards a funnier version that manages to capture the intended meaning:

Three people are sitting in a cookie bar, eating drugs. One is Charlie Sheen, another is the CEO of the talent agency that represents him, and the third is a Tea Party activist who is a fan of Lady Gaga. A parrot flies up and says something pro-union, whereupon Charlie Sheen overturns the table and propositions the Tea Party activist. During the resulting fracas, the CEO steals the rest of the cookies, but is murdered by Cookie Monster in a robbery attempt gone awry. Cookie Monster is the governor of Wisconsin for this joke. Also, Sarah Palin is the waitress, and Obama grew the drugs at his childhood birthplace in Kenya.

This is why you win language awards and I have less than 500 posts in 5 years.
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Old 2nd March 2011, 07:29 AM   #18
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Originally Posted by MattusMaximus View Post
Here's a good one, pass it on: "A public union employee, a tea party activist and a CEO are sitting at a table with a plate of a dozen cookies in the middle of it. The CEO takes 11 of the cookies, turns to the tea partier and says, "Watch out for that union guy, he wants a piece of your cookie."

'Bout says it all.

Too bad the Tea Partiers don't get it that the joke's on them too.
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Old 2nd March 2011, 07:29 AM   #19
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Cool

Originally Posted by stokes234 View Post
From the point of view of alot of people, the concentration of wealth in the hands of a small elite is the actual problem to be solved.
Nice link. Sadly, the people in a position to solve the problem are the problem... Humans generally don't go against their own short term self interests. Again, I am mystified that a lot of Tea Party activists support that top 1%. From another thread:
According to Gallup, Teaparty Activists tend to be:
- Rural
- Over 50
- High school educated
- Make less than $50K
- White
- Republican
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Old 2nd March 2011, 07:32 AM   #20
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Originally Posted by theprestige View Post
Because how the Federal government decides to waste its money has eff-all to do with how the several states are going to balance their budgets this year, right?

I'm sure Wisconsin would love to get back the tax dollars that were taken out of the state and spent on TARP bailouts, but that money is long gone (and let's be honest: even the Federal government hadn't spent it on CEOs, they would have spent it on something else equally useless for the purposes of balancing Wisconsin's state budget this year).

And I'm sure Wisconsin would love to balance their budget by not paying CEOs tons of money, but actually Wisconsin already doesn't pay CEOs tons of money. CEOs get paid by the private sector, or by the Federal government.

You know who Wisconsin pays tons of money to? Public union employees. Which makes sense, if you think about it for two seconds or so. Another thing that makes sense is, Wisconsin looking at expenses it can control, and trying to control those expenses.

And the fact of the matter is, public union employees must, by definition, take a piece of your cookie. It's your cookie that pays them.

It's not really much of a joke. It mischaracterizes the debate, ignores some of the most important players, and completely misdirects attention from the actual problem to be solved. It's less a joke and more a cheap, mean-spirited magic trick.
Like I was saying, ....
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Old 2nd March 2011, 07:34 AM   #21
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Originally Posted by LarianLeQuella View Post
Nice link. Sadly, the people in a position to solve the problem are the problem... Humans generally don't go against their own short term self interests. Again, I am mystified that a lot of Tea Party activists support that top 1%. From another thread:
According to Gallup, Teaparty Activists tend to be:
- Rural
- Over 50
- High school educated
- Make less than $50K
- White
- Republican
And I bet they also prefer Fox News and I think it goes to demystifying the issue you speak of.
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Old 2nd March 2011, 07:35 AM   #22
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Originally Posted by LarianLeQuella View Post
Nice link. Sadly, the people in a position to solve the problem are the problem... Humans generally don't go against their own short term self interests. Again, I am mystified that a lot of Tea Party activists support that top 1%. From another thread:
According to Gallup, Teaparty Activists tend to be:
- Rural
- Over 50
- High school educated
- Make less than $50K
- White
- Republican
Of course, the bolded is the irony. Given that demographic breakdown, that population would stand to benefit a great deal from generous pension plans, social security and medicare.
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Old 2nd March 2011, 07:55 AM   #23
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Originally Posted by stokes234 View Post
From the point of view of alot of people, the concentration of wealth in the hands of a small elite is the actual problem to be solved.
You can look at the quantiles, brackets, or the actual people
http://www.creators.com/opinion/thom...confusion.html
And anyway, there should be more like outrage over the fact that there has been a sick thievery like double taxation of 70% personal income tax and 50% corporate tax, that multiplies up to defacto 85% dividend tax (or over 95% when income tax was 91%), than over the fact that some people have gotten more money after that.

And by the way could you link that Gallup poll about Tea party, these polls don't agree with those claims

http://www.gallup.com/poll/127181/Te...raphics.aspx#1

http://articles.cnn.com/2010-02-17/p..._s=PM:POLITICS

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Old 2nd March 2011, 08:03 AM   #24
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Hold on... why is Personal Income Tax and Corporate Income Tax considered double-taxation?

The whole point of a corporation is to be treated as an independent entity from a person. If you want to earn business income and only pay personal income tax on it, have a proprietorship or partnership and bear the risk instead of making an artificial middleman and then complaining when the middleman pays taxes.
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Old 2nd March 2011, 08:08 AM   #25
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Originally Posted by Teemu View Post
You can look at the quantiles, brackets, or the actual people
http://www.creators.com/opinion/thom...confusion.html
You're discussing a different concept. Nobody doubts that as you get older and more experienced in your job, you start to earn more money. But that has long been the case. The fact is that the vast majority of the wealth of america, and to a lesser extent britain, is concentrated in the hands of a small elite, and many people see that as the major problem society is facing.

Originally Posted by Teemu View Post
And anyway, there should be more like outrage over the fact that there has been a sick thievery like double taxation of 70% personal income tax and 50% corporate tax, that multiplies up to defacto 85% dividend tax (or over 95% when income tax was 91%), than over the fact that some people have gotten more money after that.
We'll have to agree to disagree on this one. I can't bring myself to feel sorry for people who only get to keep half of their 10 million earnings in a year, when contrasted with people who get to keep a higher percentage of their $25k. But then, I don't see earnings as being directly tied to effort and skill, as I believe they should be.
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Old 2nd March 2011, 08:10 AM   #26
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wrong thread, deleted.
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Old 2nd March 2011, 08:12 AM   #27
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As long as we're telling jokes...

Two managers and a union worker were fishing on a lake one day, when Jesus walked across the water and joined them in the boat. When the three astonished men had settled down enough to speak, the first guy asked humbly, "Jesus, I've suffered from back pain ever since I took shrapnel in the Vietnam war...could you help me?" "Of course, my son", Jesus said, and when he touched the man's back, he felt relief for the first time in years. The second man, who wore very thick glasses and had a hard time reading and driving, asked if Jesus could do anything about his eyesight. Jesus smiled, removed the man's glasses and tossed them in the lake. When they hit the water, the man's eyes cleared and he could see everything distinctly. When Jesus turned to heal the union worker, the guy put his hands up and cried defensively, "Don't touch me! I'm on long term disability."

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Old 2nd March 2011, 08:14 AM   #28
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Old 2nd March 2011, 08:15 AM   #29
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Originally Posted by Howie Felterbush View Post
...snip.... When Jesus turned to heal the union worker, the guy put his hands up and cried defensively, "Don't touch me! I'm on long term disability."

I could understand the joke in the opening post (because of being a member here) but I don't understand yours. I know it spoils the joke somewhat but can you explain why the last man is identified as a union worker, what does that add to the joke?
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Old 2nd March 2011, 08:16 AM   #30
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Old 2nd March 2011, 08:17 AM   #31
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Originally Posted by Howie Felterbush View Post
As long as we're telling jokes...

Two managers and a union worker were fishing on a lake one day, when Jesus walked across the water and joined them in the boat. When the three astonished men had settled down enough to speak, the first guy asked humbly, "Jesus, I've suffered from back pain ever since I took shrapnel in the Vietnam war...could you help me?" "Of course, my son", Jesus said, and when he touched the man's back, he felt relief for the first time in years. The second man, who wore very thick glasses and had a hard time reading and driving, asked if Jesus could do anything about his eyesight. Jesus smiled, removed the man's glasses and tossed them in the lake. When they hit the water, the man's eyes cleared and he could see everything distinctly. When Jesus turned to heal the union worker, the guy put his hands up and cried defensively, "Don't touch me! I'm on long term disability."


I think it would better if you replaced Jesus with Charlie Sheen. It'd be more current.
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Old 2nd March 2011, 08:18 AM   #32
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Originally Posted by gnome View Post
Hold on... why is Personal Income Tax and Corporate Income Tax considered double-taxation?

The whole point of a corporation is to be treated as an independent entity from a person. If you want to earn business income and only pay personal income tax on it, have a proprietorship or partnership and bear the risk instead of making an artificial middleman and then complaining when the middleman pays taxes.
Generally corporate tax is imposed on the net profits, and only thing left after that is paying dividends. So corporate tax is a de-facto dividend tax, both on domestic and foreign stock holders.
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Old 2nd March 2011, 08:18 AM   #33
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(*Tired of continuing to hear the "Democrat Party" repeatedly I've decided to adopt the name, Pubbie Party, Repubs "Republics" and Republic Party in response.)

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Old 2nd March 2011, 08:19 AM   #34
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Nope it is here.
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Old 2nd March 2011, 08:19 AM   #35
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(*Tired of continuing to hear the "Democrat Party" repeatedly I've decided to adopt the name, Pubbie Party, Repubs "Republics" and Republic Party in response.)

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Old 2nd March 2011, 08:19 AM   #36
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^^^^that way actually
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Old 2nd March 2011, 08:20 AM   #37
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Originally Posted by Darat View Post
Nope it is here.
Wow, I don't know how that happened but it's my bad.

My apologies to everyone. That's what I get for posting with two threads open.
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Old 2nd March 2011, 08:21 AM   #38
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Although I will admit, since this thread has taken on political dimensions, that Emilio Estevez has always been both
better-looking and a better actor than Charlie Sheen. I believe even the Tea Party will concede the point there.


eta: unnecessary bit deleted

eta2: especially in "The Breakfast Club". I can't believe the other guy was considered the hot one in that.

eta3: made a mess by deleting things

eta4: was he ever in anything with Kevin Bacon? I'd dump Emilio in a heartbeat for Kevin Bacon.

eta5: God, I love the 80s.
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Old 2nd March 2011, 08:40 AM   #39
Howie Felterbush
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Originally Posted by Darat View Post
I could understand the joke in the opening post (because of being a member here) but I don't understand yours. I know it spoils the joke somewhat but can you explain why the last man is identified as a union worker, what does that add to the joke?
He didn't want to be healed because he would lose his disability payments and actually have to work for a living. This is a common scam. People pretend to be hurt so they can collect a check without working. It's not specific to union workers, but in my experience they tend to abuse it since their benefits will allow for long-term abuse of this system.
Originally Posted by St. Petersburg Times
The Clearwater police recruit who injured the web between her forefinger and thumb while practicing at the firing range, then later said it caused other ailments that made her unable to handle a desk job.
The St. Petersburg firefighter who said filing papers and using a copy machine aggravated soreness in his joints.
The three veteran Clearwater police officers permanently disabled in minor mishaps. One strained his shoulder while serving as a pall bearer. One hit his elbow on a metal door frame. Another twisted a knee at his desk.
The St. Petersburg police officer whose career-ending injuries included back problems from falling against computer equipment and twice falling out of chairs. Once he reported a blister from walking his beat.
I work with one guy who drives a snowplow for the state. Every year around the beginning of November he gets "hurt" (usually his back, but this year he switched it up and "hurt" his knee), misses the majority of the snowplowing season, then gets better around the end of March. Still gets paid, of course. By me. (He likes snowmobiling, I understand, and the winter off allows him to indulge.) I hurt myself on an almost daily basis (warehouse work can be strenuous and dangerous) but rather than pissing and moaning about it and trying to get over on my employer, I eat a couple of Excedrin and get back to work. That's what people do, when they're not douchebags. Hey, I'd love to get paid for doing nothing, but it's not in my nature. You pay me, I work.

Now do you understand? Hey, I didn't say it was a funny joke...
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Old 2nd March 2011, 08:56 AM   #40
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Originally Posted by Howie Felterbush View Post
He didn't want to be healed because he would lose his disability payments and actually have to work for a living. This is a common scam. People pretend to be hurt so they can collect a check without working. It's not specific to union workers, but in my experience they tend to abuse it since their benefits will allow for long-term abuse of this system.
Thankyou for providing us with an anecdotal survey of a non-disclosed number of people that happens to coincide with your political position. I love those.
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