Texas 2102 Republican Party Platform

nescafe · 29th June 2012, 07:52 PM

Sometimes politics on my state horrify me. The Texas Republican platform was bad enough this year that parody is the only solution.

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Principles:

The Declaration of Independence, US and Texas constitutions are Holy Writ passed down to us by the infallible Founding Fathers. Just like the King James Bible.
Every sperm is sacred.
Government must adhere to the exact wording of the Constitutions. Except the parts we don't like.
If you are born into poverty, suck it. The State of Texas will not help you, because you deserve your station in life. Jesus said so.
Gays, lesbians, and transgendered persons, don't suck it. Any long-term pair bonds you form are just not as important to the State as hetero pair bonds.
Parents have the right to keep their kids as ignorant as possible for as long as possible.
Yay guns!
Keep your government regulations out of our free markets. The Gilded Age was totally hawt.
Obligatory vet-related flag waving.
The Founding Fathers were all God-fearing geniuses, and we should emulate their every action. Now excuse me while I bang these whores.

More at http://victorsoccasionalrants.blogsp...atform-as.html

Juniversal · 29th June 2012, 07:59 PM

Sounds pretty accurate to me.

Corsair 115 · 30th June 2012, 05:31 PM

I'm impressed that you were able to get the party's platform from 90 years in the future.

Puppycow · 2nd July 2012, 08:17 PM

Holy crap. Why "interpret" the platform when actual quotes work just as well?

http://www.commondreams.org/view/2012/07/01-5

Quote:

Here is the actual language from a position statement in the 2012 Texas Republican Party Platform:

Knowledge-Based Education – We oppose the teaching of Higher Order Thinking Skills (HOTS) (values clarification), critical thinking skills and similar programs that are simply a relabeling of Outcome-Based Education (OBE) (mastery learning) which focus on behavior modification and have the purpose of challenging the student’s fixed beliefs and undermining parental authority.

Don't undermine parents' efforts to brainwash their children by teaching them critical thinking skills.

I guess I shouldn't be surprised.

Polaris · 3rd July 2012, 11:16 AM

Originally Posted by Puppycow

Holy crap. Why "interpret" the platform when actual quotes work just as well?

http://www.commondreams.org/view/2012/07/01-5

Don't undermine parents' efforts to brainwash their children by teaching them critical thinking skills.

I guess I shouldn't be surprised.

I recently participated in a discussion on another thread about the value of a permanent colony on Mars, and the reasons for it. Let me officially propose another reason: blasting people like that off this planet, or being able to escape them if they take control.

nescafe · 4th July 2012, 08:09 PM

Originally Posted by Puppycow

Holy crap. Why "interpret" the platform when actual quotes work just as well?

The original was not accurate enough.

nescafe · 4th July 2012, 08:11 PM

Originally Posted by Corsair 115

I'm impressed that you were able to get the party's platform from 90 years in the future.

I don't really expect it to change that much. After all, they revere economic policies that were all the rage 90 years ago.

29th June 2012, 07:52 PM	#1
nescafe Caffeinated Beverage Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Just above the coffeemaker Posts: 864	Texas 2102 Republican Party Platform Sometimes politics on my state horrify me. The Texas Republican platform was bad enough this year that parody is the only solution. --- Principles: The Declaration of Independence, US and Texas constitutions are Holy Writ passed down to us by the infallible Founding Fathers. Just like the King James Bible. Every sperm is sacred. Government must adhere to the exact wording of the Constitutions. Except the parts we don't like. If you are born into poverty, suck it. The State of Texas will not help you, because you deserve your station in life. Jesus said so. Gays, lesbians, and transgendered persons, don't suck it. Any long-term pair bonds you form are just not as important to the State as hetero pair bonds. Parents have the right to keep their kids as ignorant as possible for as long as possible. Yay guns! Keep your government regulations out of our free markets. The Gilded Age was totally hawt. Obligatory vet-related flag waving. The Founding Fathers were all God-fearing geniuses, and we should emulate their every action. Now excuse me while I bang these whores. More at http://victorsoccasionalrants.blogsp...atform-as.html
	__________________ If only there were brain condoms for those of us who practice unsafe lex. -- Complexity

29th June 2012, 07:59 PM	#2
Juniversal CIA + FBI + NWO Employee Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Cincinnati, USA Posts: 1,845	Sounds pretty accurate to me.
	__________________ "God is an ever receding pocket of scientific ignorance." - Neil deGrasse Tyson

30th June 2012, 05:31 PM	#3
Corsair 115 Philosopher Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Tranquility Base Posts: 8,588	I'm impressed that you were able to get the party's platform from 90 years in the future.
	__________________ "We choose to go to the moon in this decade and do the other things not because they are easy, but because they are hard. Because that goal will serve to organize and measure the best of our abilities and skills, because that challenge is one we are willing to accept, one we are unwilling to postpone, and one which we intend to win."

2nd July 2012, 08:17 PM	#4
Puppycow Penultimate Amazing Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Japan Posts: 15,788	Holy crap. Why "interpret" the platform when actual quotes work just as well? http://www.commondreams.org/view/2012/07/01-5 Quote: Here is the actual language from a position statement in the 2012 Texas Republican Party Platform: Knowledge-Based Education – We oppose the teaching of Higher Order Thinking Skills (HOTS) (values clarification), critical thinking skills and similar programs that are simply a relabeling of Outcome-Based Education (OBE) (mastery learning) which focus on behavior modification and have the purpose of challenging the student’s fixed beliefs and undermining parental authority. Don't undermine parents' efforts to brainwash their children by teaching them critical thinking skills. I guess I shouldn't be surprised.
	__________________ “Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them. With Major Major it had been all three.” ― Joseph Heller, Catch-22

3rd July 2012, 11:16 AM	#5
Polaris Philosopher Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 5,171	Originally Posted by Puppycow Holy crap. Why "interpret" the platform when actual quotes work just as well? http://www.commondreams.org/view/2012/07/01-5 Don't undermine parents' efforts to brainwash their children by teaching them critical thinking skills. I guess I shouldn't be surprised. I recently participated in a discussion on another thread about the value of a permanent colony on Mars, and the reasons for it. Let me officially propose another reason: blasting people like that off this planet, or being able to escape them if they take control.
Polaris Philosopher Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 5,171	__________________ "There's vastly more truth to be found in rocks than in holy books. Rocks are far superior, in fact, because you can DEMONSTRATE the truth found in rocks. Plus, they're pretty. Holy books are just heavy." - Dinwar "Roy Moore of Alabama. The world would absolutely benefit by him being run over by any vehicle." - Lowpro

4th July 2012, 08:09 PM	#6
nescafe Caffeinated Beverage Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Just above the coffeemaker Posts: 864	Originally Posted by Puppycow Holy crap. Why "interpret" the platform when actual quotes work just as well? The original was not accurate enough.
	__________________ If only there were brain condoms for those of us who practice unsafe lex. -- Complexity

4th July 2012, 08:11 PM	#7
nescafe Caffeinated Beverage Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Just above the coffeemaker Posts: 864	Originally Posted by Corsair 115 I'm impressed that you were able to get the party's platform from 90 years in the future. I don't really expect it to change that much. After all, they revere economic policies that were all the rage 90 years ago.
	__________________ If only there were brain condoms for those of us who practice unsafe lex. -- Complexity