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h.g.Whiz · 22nd June 2012, 10:36 PM

"I am strong because God has got my back."

DC · 22nd June 2012, 10:43 PM

i'll watch, when i see him doing any work, i might praise him, but not when he is going genocidal again

h.g.Whiz · 22nd June 2012, 10:50 PM

First I hear of his of only son. Then I hear how we are his children. I hear of his will. I hear of their will. I hear of Jesus playing security guard in front of the Pearly Gated Community.

Craig B · 22nd June 2012, 10:52 PM

Why does God need to be praised and worshipped all the time? Has he got severe "lack of self-esteem" issues?

DC · 22nd June 2012, 10:55 PM

obviously he isn't an attention seeker. he would show up more often

aviolet4u · 22nd June 2012, 11:13 PM

I've been told God loves me more than my parents do. In the same conversation I was also told to save my soul from damnation by praying.

So which is it? God can't be both loving and have created hellfire for you if don't praise his good name. Are people hearing the words that are coming out of their mouth?

Even as a child it never sat right with me...in the back of my mind I always thought something was off with this constant fear tactic. My prayers felt so superficial and fake.

Gord_in_Toronto · 23rd June 2012, 10:38 AM

Originally Posted by h.g.Whiz

First I hear of his of only son. Then I hear how we are his children. I hear of his will. I hear of their will. I hear of Jesus playing security guard in front of the Pearly Gated Community.

Are you OK? This seems rather incoherent. If Jesus is "playing" security guard, does this mean he is unarmed? Does Gabriel have backup?

If hordes of freaky zombie teenagers storm the Gates, is this the end of Heaven?

Toontown · 23rd June 2012, 11:11 AM

Originally Posted by aviolet4u

I've been told God loves me more than my parents do. In the same conversation I was also told to save my soul from damnation by praying.

So which is it? God can't be both loving and have created hellfire for you if don't praise his good name. Are people hearing the words that are coming out of their mouth?

Even as a child it never sat right with me...in the back of my mind I always thought something was off with this constant fear tactic. My prayers felt so superficial and fake.

Perhaps you didn't really believe it deep down. There is nothing superficial about "God please don't torture me forever!" if you really believe He will.

MG1962 · 23rd June 2012, 11:12 AM

Originally Posted by h.g.Whiz

First I hear of his of only son. Then I hear how we are his children. I hear of his will. I hear of their will. I hear of Jesus playing security guard in front of the Pearly Gated Community.

Imposter - It is supposed to be Peter on duty

I Ratant · 23rd June 2012, 11:31 AM

Originally Posted by Gord_in_Toronto

Are you OK? This seems rather incoherent. ...

.
After seeing the second message, I got the feeling there is a problem there also.

tsig · 23rd June 2012, 12:11 PM

Originally Posted by h.g.Whiz

"I am strong because God has got my back."

I'd be worried about what he's doing back there.

I Ratant · 23rd June 2012, 12:27 PM

Yeah, if he's pulling your hair.....

aviolet4u · 23rd June 2012, 10:40 PM

Originally Posted by Toontown

Perhaps you didn't really believe it deep down. There is nothing superficial about "God please don't torture me forever!" if you really believe He will.

No the superficial part was pretending to love a mafia boss. That part was really hard to do.

AvalonXQ · 23rd June 2012, 11:28 PM

Originally Posted by MG1962

Imposter - It is supposed to be Peter on duty

h.g.Whiz · 24th June 2012, 02:39 AM

Originally Posted by AvalonXQ

http://www.smbc-comics.com/comics/20120402.gif

JFrankA · 24th June 2012, 02:54 AM

Originally Posted by h.g.Whiz

"God works, just praise Him and watch!"

"Very very good job, God. Now when you're finished mowing the lawn, if you could just trim the bushes like a dear. I'll be here by the pool reading my book within sight of you if you need anything."

tsig · 24th June 2012, 06:58 AM

Originally Posted by JFrankA

"Very very good job, God. Now when you're finished mowing the lawn, if you could just trim the bushes like a dear. I'll be here by the pool reading my book within sight of you if you need anything."

Oh lord you are great, good and all bountiful. Can I have a Mercedes Benz?

Color? Green, thanks god

What's that? You left the money in the liquor store across the street and I have to go get it? No prob, I'll use the righteous Rod of Arron (45 caliber) and I'm sure the clerk will see the light.

dafydd · 24th June 2012, 07:42 AM

Originally Posted by tsig

I'd be worried about what he's doing back there.

Maybe be that's what they mean by god entering into you.

I Ratant · 24th June 2012, 09:36 AM

Originally Posted by tsig

Oh lord you are great, good and all bountiful. Can I have a Mercedes Benz?

Color? Green, thanks god

What's that? You left the money in the liquor store across the street and I have to go get it? No prob, I'll use the righteous Rod of Arron (45 caliber) and I'm sure the clerk will see the light.

.
My friends all drive Porsches...
Do I have to make amends to get the MB?
I'll be here each day until 3, so the ball's in your court.
Oh, and a 48" plasma tv.

AvalonXQ · 24th June 2012, 12:54 PM

Originally Posted by h.g.Whiz

Note my signature.

Marduk · 24th June 2012, 01:10 PM

Originally Posted by I Ratant

.

Oh, and a 48" plasma tv.

only 48" oh ye of little faith, I have a 60" myself
no praying required
I often find, that its perfectly easy to live without religion, as long as you treat your partner like a Goddess

AvalonXQ · 24th June 2012, 01:17 PM

Originally Posted by Marduk

I often find, that its perfectly easy to live without religion, as long as you treat your partner like a Goddess

Be careful; he might not appreciate that.

Marduk · 24th June 2012, 01:27 PM

Originally Posted by AvalonXQ

Be careful; he might not appreciate that.

he can come round and tell me in person or I'm not interested

AvalonXQ · 24th June 2012, 02:04 PM

Originally Posted by Marduk

he can come round and tell me in person or I'm not interested

... oh, I see. No, you got an entirely different meaning out of that than the one I intended. Oh well, happens.

Marduk · 24th June 2012, 02:39 PM

Originally Posted by AvalonXQ

... oh, I see. No, you got an entirely different meaning out of that than the one I intended. Oh well, happens.

this is the religion forum, the gay innuendo forum is lower down the page
well it would be wouldn't it

AvalonXQ · 24th June 2012, 03:31 PM

Originally Posted by Marduk

this is the religion forum, the gay innuendo forum is lower down the page
well it would be wouldn't it

I never noticed that there before!

What are the chances I can get a few of my posts moved to that forum?

...say, about 9500 of them?

patchbunny · 24th June 2012, 07:44 PM

Originally Posted by h.g.Whiz

"I am strong because God has got my back."

If there's anything I've learned here it's not to trust chiropractors.

Explorer · 25th June 2012, 12:04 AM

I am strong, because God has got my back up!

Warrior1461 · 25th June 2012, 09:29 PM

Here is the best way to explain GODS LOVE

If you are a struggling musician with Rock Star Dreams,
Satan will make your dreams come true if your sell your soul to him.

You might burn in hellfire but at least He will do something for you.

Pray to God, and He will just do nothing, because it is not in his plan, To get into his heaven you must suffer and face extreme poverty to get in.

God's an butt crack, we are supposed to believe he LOVES us.

Yeah, and I have a bridge in Brooklyn I can sell you.

22nd June 2012, 10:36 PM	#1
h.g.Whiz Illuminator Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Egoville Posts: 3,131	"God works, just praise Him and watch!" "I am strong because God has got my back."
	__________________ Reading this sentence is ineluctable.

22nd June 2012, 10:43 PM	#2
DC dedicated aphilatelist Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Switzerland Posts: 21,708	i'll watch, when i see him doing any work, i might praise him, but not when he is going genocidal again
	__________________ AGW is a fact, including the A, face it

22nd June 2012, 10:50 PM	#3
h.g.Whiz Illuminator Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Egoville Posts: 3,131	First I hear of his of only son. Then I hear how we are his children. I hear of his will. I hear of their will. I hear of Jesus playing security guard in front of the Pearly Gated Community.
	__________________ Reading this sentence is ineluctable.

22nd June 2012, 10:52 PM	#4
Craig B Illuminator Join Date: May 2011 Posts: 4,321	Why does God need to be praised and worshipped all the time? Has he got severe "lack of self-esteem" issues?
Craig B Illuminator Join Date: May 2011 Posts: 4,321

22nd June 2012, 10:55 PM	#5
DC dedicated aphilatelist Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Switzerland Posts: 21,708	obviously he isn't an attention seeker. he would show up more often
	__________________ AGW is a fact, including the A, face it

22nd June 2012, 11:13 PM	#6
aviolet4u Critical Thinker Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 372	I've been told God loves me more than my parents do. In the same conversation I was also told to save my soul from damnation by praying. So which is it? God can't be both loving and have created hellfire for you if don't praise his good name. Are people hearing the words that are coming out of their mouth? Even as a child it never sat right with me...in the back of my mind I always thought something was off with this constant fear tactic. My prayers felt so superficial and fake.

23rd June 2012, 10:38 AM	#7
Gord_in_Toronto Penultimate Amazing Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 13,423	Originally Posted by h.g.Whiz First I hear of his of only son. Then I hear how we are his children. I hear of his will. I hear of their will. I hear of Jesus playing security guard in front of the Pearly Gated Community. Are you OK? This seems rather incoherent. If Jesus is "playing" security guard, does this mean he is unarmed? Does Gabriel have backup? If hordes of freaky zombie teenagers storm the Gates, is this the end of Heaven?
	__________________ "Reality is what's left when you cease to believe." Philip K. Dick

23rd June 2012, 11:11 AM	#8
Toontown Illuminator Join Date: Jun 2010 Posts: 3,646	Originally Posted by aviolet4u I've been told God loves me more than my parents do. In the same conversation I was also told to save my soul from damnation by praying. So which is it? God can't be both loving and have created hellfire for you if don't praise his good name. Are people hearing the words that are coming out of their mouth? Even as a child it never sat right with me...in the back of my mind I always thought something was off with this constant fear tactic. My prayers felt so superficial and fake. Perhaps you didn't really believe it deep down. There is nothing superficial about "God please don't torture me forever!" if you really believe He will.
Toontown Illuminator Join Date: Jun 2010 Posts: 3,646	__________________ SEARCH NOW THE SPHERES PROBE THE UNIVERSE SEND BACK WORD WHAT FORCE SO IRRESISTIBLE AS THE WILL OF FREE MEN

23rd June 2012, 11:12 AM	#9
MG1962 Guest Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Kansas (Australia) Posts: 14,750	Originally Posted by h.g.Whiz First I hear of his of only son. Then I hear how we are his children. I hear of his will. I hear of their will. I hear of Jesus playing security guard in front of the Pearly Gated Community. Imposter - It is supposed to be Peter on duty

23rd June 2012, 11:31 AM	#10
I Ratant Penultimate Amazing Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 15,305	Originally Posted by Gord_in_Toronto Are you OK? This seems rather incoherent. ... . After seeing the second message, I got the feeling there is a problem there also.

23rd June 2012, 12:11 PM	#11
tsig a carbon based life-form Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 27,243	Originally Posted by h.g.Whiz "I am strong because God has got my back." I'd be worried about what he's doing back there.

23rd June 2012, 12:27 PM	#12
I Ratant Penultimate Amazing Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 15,305	Yeah, if he's pulling your hair.....

23rd June 2012, 10:40 PM	#13
aviolet4u Critical Thinker Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 372	Originally Posted by Toontown Perhaps you didn't really believe it deep down. There is nothing superficial about "God please don't torture me forever!" if you really believe He will. No the superficial part was pretending to love a mafia boss. That part was really hard to do.

23rd June 2012, 11:28 PM	#14
AvalonXQ Guest Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 11,853	Originally Posted by MG1962 Imposter - It is supposed to be Peter on duty
AvalonXQ Guest Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 11,853

24th June 2012, 02:39 AM	#15
h.g.Whiz Illuminator Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Egoville Posts: 3,131	Originally Posted by AvalonXQ http://www.smbc-comics.com/comics/20120402.gif
	__________________ Reading this sentence is ineluctable.

24th June 2012, 02:54 AM	#16
JFrankA Illuminator Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Hartford, CT Posts: 4,054	Originally Posted by h.g.Whiz "God works, just praise Him and watch!" "Very very good job, God. Now when you're finished mowing the lawn, if you could just trim the bushes like a dear. I'll be here by the pool reading my book within sight of you if you need anything."
	__________________ "How perverted you are.", "I will bite you like a serpent. The poison will slowly kill your sophism..." - SnakeTongue "More truth is in a single issue of Mad than a year of Time." - Gord in Toronto "Oh, and one more thing: For those who fight for it, life has a flavor the sheltered will never know." - Wise man in Sucker Punch

24th June 2012, 06:58 AM	#17
tsig a carbon based life-form Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 27,243	Originally Posted by JFrankA "Very very good job, God. Now when you're finished mowing the lawn, if you could just trim the bushes like a dear. I'll be here by the pool reading my book within sight of you if you need anything." Oh lord you are great, good and all bountiful. Can I have a Mercedes Benz? Color? Green, thanks god What's that? You left the money in the liquor store across the street and I have to go get it? No prob, I'll use the righteous Rod of Arron (45 caliber) and I'm sure the clerk will see the light.

24th June 2012, 07:42 AM	#18
dafydd Penultimate Amazing Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Belgium (Flatland) Posts: 31,680	Originally Posted by tsig I'd be worried about what he's doing back there. Maybe be that's what they mean by god entering into you.
	__________________ Yesterday upon the stairs I met a man who wasn't there He wasn't there again today I wish that he would go away.

24th June 2012, 09:36 AM	#19
I Ratant Penultimate Amazing Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 15,305	Originally Posted by tsig Oh lord you are great, good and all bountiful. Can I have a Mercedes Benz? Color? Green, thanks god What's that? You left the money in the liquor store across the street and I have to go get it? No prob, I'll use the righteous Rod of Arron (45 caliber) and I'm sure the clerk will see the light. . My friends all drive Porsches... Do I have to make amends to get the MB? I'll be here each day until 3, so the ball's in your court. Oh, and a 48" plasma tv.

24th June 2012, 12:54 PM	#20
AvalonXQ Guest Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 11,853	Originally Posted by h.g.Whiz Note my signature.
AvalonXQ Guest Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 11,853

24th June 2012, 01:10 PM	#21
Marduk Banned Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Newbury, Berkshire Posts: 10,242	Originally Posted by I Ratant . Oh, and a 48" plasma tv. only 48" oh ye of little faith, I have a 60" myself no praying required I often find, that its perfectly easy to live without religion, as long as you treat your partner like a Goddess

24th June 2012, 01:17 PM	#22
AvalonXQ Guest Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 11,853	Originally Posted by Marduk I often find, that its perfectly easy to live without religion, as long as you treat your partner like a Goddess Be careful; he might not appreciate that.
AvalonXQ Guest Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 11,853

24th June 2012, 01:27 PM	#23
Marduk Banned Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Newbury, Berkshire Posts: 10,242	Originally Posted by AvalonXQ Be careful; he might not appreciate that. he can come round and tell me in person or I'm not interested

24th June 2012, 02:04 PM	#24
AvalonXQ Guest Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 11,853	Originally Posted by Marduk he can come round and tell me in person or I'm not interested ... oh, I see. No, you got an entirely different meaning out of that than the one I intended. Oh well, happens.
AvalonXQ Guest Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 11,853

24th June 2012, 02:39 PM	#25
Marduk Banned Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Newbury, Berkshire Posts: 10,242	Originally Posted by AvalonXQ ... oh, I see. No, you got an entirely different meaning out of that than the one I intended. Oh well, happens. this is the religion forum, the gay innuendo forum is lower down the page well it would be wouldn't it

24th June 2012, 03:31 PM	#26
AvalonXQ Guest Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 11,853	Originally Posted by Marduk this is the religion forum, the gay innuendo forum is lower down the page well it would be wouldn't it I never noticed that there before! What are the chances I can get a few of my posts moved to that forum? ...say, about 9500 of them?
AvalonXQ Guest Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 11,853

24th June 2012, 07:44 PM	#27
patchbunny Graduate Poster Join Date: May 2004 Location: Right about... here. Posts: 1,569	Originally Posted by h.g.Whiz "I am strong because God has got my back." If there's anything I've learned here it's not to trust chiropractors.
	__________________ "So, they laugh at my boner, will they? I'll show them! I'll show them how many boners the Joker can make!" -- The Joker, Batman #66

25th June 2012, 12:04 AM	#28
Explorer Muse Join Date: Jun 2003 Posts: 959	I am strong, because God has got my back up!
Explorer Muse Join Date: Jun 2003 Posts: 959

25th June 2012, 09:29 PM	#29
Warrior1461 Critical Thinker Join Date: Apr 2011 Posts: 262	Here is the best way to explain GODS LOVE If you are a struggling musician with Rock Star Dreams, Satan will make your dreams come true if your sell your soul to him. You might burn in hellfire but at least He will do something for you. Pray to God, and He will just do nothing, because it is not in his plan, To get into his heaven you must suffer and face extreme poverty to get in. God's an butt crack, we are supposed to believe he LOVES us. Yeah, and I have a bridge in Brooklyn I can sell you.