The single dumbest thing I've ever seen

tkingdoll · 9th January 2008, 03:54 PM

Someone sent me a link to a new collaborative wiki project, which will eventually become a book, or so the creators claim. It's about new project management techniques...

...based on Fiddler on the Roof.

OK, so as if that's not funny and weird enough, they've called it...

Fiddler on the Project!!!!

I am not joking. Neither, it seems, are they.

Quote:

So, the project manager, the leader of these projects, has one foot on tradition and one foot on change. All along, he or she must balance between tradition and change while actively orchestrating the elements of the project, smoothly conducting, if you will, the ‘music’ of the project while not losing their foothold on either, and – you guessed it, ending up in a dangerous situation.

Such is the Fiddler from Fiddler on the Roof. He balances on the peak of the roof, perched atop the house, effortlessly keeping his balance with one foot on either side of the peak while producing beautiful, enchanting music – a melody that is an inspiration for the story's main character, Tevya. The fiddler never fails – and he never falls.

The really odd thing is that although they've got a name and plan to have a book, they don't appear to actually have any ideas. Hence the wiki.

It's the oddest thing I've ever seen in business. But, someone here might be a fan of the musical AND a project manager. In which case, go nuts! They need contributions, clearly.

I did think of some analogies between project management and actually going to see the musical itself, like

Before you start a project, everyone is enthusiastic. Then the project starts. At first it seems to be going well but after a while it starts to drag. People lose interest. By the end of the project, half of the stakeholders have left and the other half have lost the will to live.

But I don't think that's quite what they had in mind.

bruto · 9th January 2008, 07:12 PM

I think it's too nonsensical to qualify as merely dumb.

Wolfman · 9th January 2008, 09:44 PM

Argh.

The worst part of this is that they are starting with an analogy, and then trying to make all the information fit that analogy. Which is absolutely the opposite of the process that should be used. What you should do is do an analysis/study of effective project management strategies/techniques, and then find an analogy/illustration that best fits with your findings.

So, these guys are starting a new business project. Rather than leading that project, they are just throwing out some lame-ass analogy, with no real cohesive plan or strategy in place, beyond, "Give us whatever your ideas are, as long as you can make them fit the idea of 'Fiddler on the Roof'".

And these are the guys who are going to write a book to tell others about how to run projects?!?

steverino · 9th January 2008, 09:51 PM

I was thinking, a good sequel to the book might be, "The Holocaust," or "How to handle working for an overbearing boss and make sure he doesn't kill all his employees."

Wolfman · 9th January 2008, 10:07 PM

We could do a whole series of "Literary Project Management Books".

"Fiddler on the Project"

"War and Projects" <-- A relative comparison of projects and wars, and what military strategies can be adapted to the workplace

"Death of a Project" <-- An analysis of the best ways to doom a project (see "Fiddler on the Project")

"Moby Project" <-- In search of the elusive giant project that will finally bring a sense of fulfillment and completion to your life

"The Old Man and the Project" <-- Does your company suffer from aging management who stubbornly cling to outdated concepts and methodologies? Examining change processes within long-established organizations.

"One Flew Over the Project's Nest" <-- Too often, good ideas are suggested, but ignored because the person making the suggestion is too subordinate. Studies have shown that being able to listen to and consider all ideas equally can help you avoid having the best ideas 'fly away'.

"All Quiet on the Project Front" <-- A study of companies that have gotten into a rut, and have no new activity or energy.

Feel free to suggest more

rjh01 · 9th January 2008, 10:10 PM

My Mum had a saying

Quote:

Those who know how to do something do it. Those who do not know how to do something teach it.

She was a teacher.

Sonds like a lot like this book.

rjh01 · 9th January 2008, 10:39 PM

The ultimate management guide is Dilbert.

Damien Evans · 10th January 2008, 01:58 AM

Originally Posted by rjh01

My Mum had a saying

She was a teacher.

Sonds like a lot like this book.

With, of course the closer: Those who can't teach, teach P.E.

Francesca R · 10th January 2008, 03:03 AM

I like this honesty from Scott Adams at the "Big opening" foreword of The Dilbert Principle (1996)

Quote:

These days it seems like any idiot with a laptop computer can churn out a business book and make a few bucks. That's certainly what I'm hoping. It would be a real let-down if the trend changed before this masterpiece goes to print.

tkingdoll · 10th January 2008, 06:00 AM

My friend wants to start Chitty Chitty Bang Project.

Myself, I prefer The Project of the Opera. Or perhaps The Sound of Project.

Wolfman · 10th January 2008, 06:06 AM

Originally Posted by tkingdoll

My friend wants to start Chitty Chitty Bang Project.

Myself, I prefer The Project of the Opera. Or perhaps The Sound of Project.

That's all fine and dandy...but perhaps you could elaborate on the theme/purpose of each of those?

Spindrift · 10th January 2008, 06:12 AM

The fiddler never falls or fails... until the Cossacks show up and drive him off his land.

joobz · 10th January 2008, 06:24 AM

Originally Posted by tkingdoll

My friend wants to start Chitty Chitty Bang Project.

Myself, I prefer The Project of the Opera. Or perhaps The Sound of Project.

Hello, Project, my old friend.
a team meeting, discussing you again
The boss' vision, weakly reasoning
He's demanding progress weekly
And The deadlines, He says they still remain
it's past the due date
Within the Sound of Project

ImaginalDisc · 10th January 2008, 06:34 AM

The Project of Cthulu.

At first, you have no idea what you're doing. Then, some cop from New Orleans shows up with something really hideous, and that reminds one of the old timers in the room about that time he saw some crazy stuff with the Eskimos. Then nothing exciting happens for a while until most of your team get eaten alive by the project and you spend the rest of your professional life hoping no one discovers the project.

Lucky · 10th January 2008, 06:45 AM

A few British entries for the list:

The Time Project: Divide your workforce into two teams – the Xs, who are productive but uncouth, and the Ys, whose role is to be charming and decorative (and get eaten by the Xs).

Wuthering Projects: Find a suitably bleak northern setting for your project, adding interest by surrounding yourself with characters who are colourful but creepy (to the point of derangement); ensure all your plans are derailed by dysfunctional relationships, jealousy and illicit passions; hope everything will sort itself out after death.

Far From the Madding Projects: Take charge of a rural business; make terrible decisions that cause disaster for everyone around, and get away with it by being good-looking.

(This one's perhaps a bit too realistic) Vanity Project: Emphasis on appearance without substance; get what you want by fleecing all and sundry without contributing anything of any value yourself.

Loss Leader · 10th January 2008, 06:55 AM

I don't think the person has a clear idea of what the fidler in Fidler is supposed to represent. There is no point in the play where it is asserted that he can never fall and never fail. Nor does he have one foot rooted in tradition and one in change.

The only reference to the fidler is when Tevya says, "Without tradition, our lives would be as shaky as a fidler on the roof."

The fidler represents nothing but tradition. The play is about change. As change comes to Tevya's family, he feels a loss of balance, place and purpose. These issues are never resolved in the play. He cuts off ties to one daughter and everyone abandons the town to avoid the pogroms. He never makes his peace with change or finds a balance between tradition and progress.

It's just gibberish masquerading as an idea.

Tokenconservative · 10th January 2008, 07:05 AM

Is the primary author named Scott Adams?

JonnyFive · 10th January 2008, 07:10 AM

Sounds like some people got a little too worked up about this whole "analogy" thing.

I always say: business is like a box of chocolates... mmm.... chocolate...

Wait, what were we talking about?

malbui · 10th January 2008, 07:39 AM

Originally Posted by Damien Evans

With, of course the closer: Those who can't teach, teach P.E.

My father-in-law maintains that the closer is "those who can't teach, teach teachers". He did spend a dozen years working for the IUFM - the university teacher training section.

Quinn · 10th January 2008, 08:47 AM

Little Project of Horrors: Someone discovers a cute, novel management analogy, and decides to make a full-blown business project out of it. But soon it's discovered that the project can only survive by sucking out people's intelligence. By the time the originator figures this out, the project has grown too big for him to stop, and he willingly sacrifices others to the stupidity of his own project for personal gain. In the end his own greed and stupidity consume him, and we learn that an idea that stupid could only have come from an alien race who sent it to Earth to destroy us from within. Oh, and there are lots of doo-wop songs.

Michael Redman · 10th January 2008, 09:00 AM

Originally Posted by Wolfman

"Moby Project" <-- In search of the elusive giant project that will finally bring a sense of fulfillment and completion to your life

I spit my last TPS Report at thee!

Darat · 10th January 2008, 09:13 AM

Originally Posted by ImaginalDisc

The Project of Cthulu.

At first, you have no idea what you're doing. Then, some cop from New Orleans shows up with something really hideous, and that reminds one of the old timers in the room about that time he saw some crazy stuff with the Eskimos. Then nothing exciting happens for a while until most of your team get eaten alive by the project and you spend the rest of your professional life hoping no one discovers the project.

This thread is meant to be about project management methodologies based on fictional works - not tried and tested project management methodologies.

Darat · 10th January 2008, 09:18 AM

Frankenstein Project - collect old bits of past failed projects, stitch them together and hope no one notices the smell until after the project completion party.

JonnyFive · 10th January 2008, 09:25 AM

I can't believe this thread has gone this far without anyone mentioning The Little Project that Could.

If I need to explain it to you, you're not human. Seriously.

Tokenconservative · 10th January 2008, 09:28 AM

Originally Posted by JonnyFive

Sounds like some people got a little too worked up about this whole "analogy" thing.

I always say: business is like a box of chocolates... mmm.... chocolate...

Wait, what were we talking about?

Duh.

Chocolate.

Is there anything else WORTH talking about!?

ImaginalDisc · 10th January 2008, 09:30 AM

Originally Posted by Tokenconservative

Duh.

Chocolate.

Is there anything else WORTH talking about!?

Ascribing the decline of Western Civilization to the pernicious influence of "liberals" who consist of everyone on the planet with the exception of yourself?

MilwaukeeMike · 10th January 2008, 10:30 AM

What a load of crap!

Tokenconservative · 10th January 2008, 01:04 PM

Originally Posted by ImaginalDisc

Ascribing the decline of Western Civilization to the pernicious influence of "liberals" who consist of everyone on the planet with the exception of yourself?

Hmm....well, sure.

For a change of pace, you mean?

Tokie

Tokenconservative · 10th January 2008, 01:10 PM

Originally Posted by JonnyFive

I can't believe this thread has gone this far without anyone mentioning The Little Project that Could.

If I need to explain it to you, you're not human. Seriously.

Anybody ever read that nonsense in the 1990s, "Who Moved My Cheese" (and I think there was another in the series).

I read a book a while back called "SHAM..."something about deconstructing the self-help/accutualization movement in which the author (nope, don't recall the name, and no link--LIIINNKKKKK!!!--it was an odd informaton delivery device: a couple or 300 sheets of something calle "paper" stictched together along one side and bound into something this weirdo at a place called the "libarry" called a "book." Very odd) found that the biggest market for self-help books is...those who've previously purchased a self-help book.

Now, I could be off-base here, but if you buy one of these, ain't it 'posed to help "fix" you so you won't need more self-help books?

Turns out what they do (call it a CT, if you like) is essentially encourage you NOT to get "better" but rather to go buy another SH book.

Tokie

bruto · 10th January 2008, 02:18 PM

Originally Posted by Tokenconservative

Anybody ever read that nonsense in the 1990s, "Who Moved My Cheese" (and I think there was another in the series).

I read a book a while back called "SHAM..."something about deconstructing the self-help/accutualization movement in which the author (nope, don't recall the name, and no link--LIIINNKKKKK!!!--it was an odd informaton delivery device: a couple or 300 sheets of something calle "paper" stictched together along one side and bound into something this weirdo at a place called the "libarry" called a "book." Very odd) found that the biggest market for self-help books is...those who've previously purchased a self-help book.

Now, I could be off-base here, but if you buy one of these, ain't it 'posed to help "fix" you so you won't need more self-help books?

Turns out what they do (call it a CT, if you like) is essentially encourage you NOT to get "better" but rather to go buy another SH book.

Tokie

You might enjoy How Mumbo Jumbo Conquered the World, by Francis Wheen. The main point is his lament about the death of the Enlightenment, and the rise of post-modernism and its various relatives. About half of it will probably rub you entirely the wrong way and make you want to spit and scream bloody murder, but Mr. Wheen is an equal-opportunity curmudgeon, and takes some pretty good punches at people like Al Gore and Hillary Clinton, too, which no foe of theirs, conservative or liberal, should miss. One of his pet peeves is the popular economic best-sellers. He missed Who Moved My Cheese, I think, but got many others, and has great fun describing just what bull*** most of them are, and how their ideas subsequently blew up.

Tokie, your google fu is not strong, is it? I think This book is the one you were referring to. Sounds interesting.

e.t.a. Who Moved My Cheese.... Isn't that the one that explains why we're all using Tandy computers now?

Tokenconservative · 11th January 2008, 10:52 AM

Originally Posted by bruto

You might enjoy How Mumbo Jumbo Conquered the World, by Francis Wheen. The main point is his lament about the death of the Enlightenment, and the rise of post-modernism and its various relatives. About half of it will probably rub you entirely the wrong way and make you want to spit and scream bloody murder, but Mr. Wheen is an equal-opportunity curmudgeon, and takes some pretty good punches at people like Al Gore and Hillary Clinton, too, which no foe of theirs, conservative or liberal, should miss. One of his pet peeves is the popular economic best-sellers. He missed Who Moved My Cheese, I think, but got many others, and has great fun describing just what bull*** most of them are, and how their ideas subsequently blew up.

Tokie, your google fu is not strong, is it? I think This book is the one you were referring to. Sounds interesting.

e.t.a. Who Moved My Cheese.... Isn't that the one that explains why we're all using Tandy computers now?

It amazed me in the 90s to see all these wunderkind who hit it rich with some nifty and some just nonsensical 'net idears (remember the guy who used his .com fortune to start a UFO research center?) that nonetheless, typically through the foolishness of others with lots of money, made them very rich, and this, they assumed, meant that they MUST be econ. wizards, so they all wrote books. Sort of like Madona's book on how to raise kids....next up: Britany Spears on Drinking and Driving Responsibly With a Toddler in the Car.

Anyway, yeah..Salerno, that's the book. Interesting, a bit off on some (a bit too personal on Dr. Laura, for example, tho she is a study in hypocrisy, to be sure) but seems to make sense in the final analysis: these books sell to people who buy these books over and over and over.

And you are right, I don't rush over to Google to um, google everything I reference in here.

Bad Tokie!

No cookie!

Tokie

bigred · 11th January 2008, 11:39 AM

Originally Posted by tkingdoll

The really odd thing is that although they've got a name and plan to have a book, they don't appear to actually have any ideas.

Implying this is anything new in business? If I had a nickel for every meeting, yahoo, or other assorted business management/"improvement" time-waster I dealt with in my life, I'd make Bill Gates look like a pauper.

bigred · 11th January 2008, 11:40 AM

Originally Posted by Darat

This thread is meant to be about project management methodologies based on fictional works

Most project management methodologies ARE fictional works.

NoZed Avenger · 11th January 2008, 12:11 PM

No love for my best-seller "Projects on a Plane" ?

ImaginalDisc · 11th January 2008, 12:17 PM

Originally Posted by NoZed Avenger

No love for my best-seller "Projects on a Plane" ?

I am sick of these mother******* projects on this mother******* agenda!

tkingdoll · 11th January 2008, 02:00 PM

Originally Posted by bigred

Implying this is anything new in business? If I had a nickel for every meeting, yahoo, or other assorted business management/"improvement" time-waster I dealt with in my life, I'd make Bill Gates look like a pauper.

Oh tell me about it. People who speak, a lot, but don't actually say anything. A friend of mine calls this "just saying words". He's right, they are words, but no actual meaning. People like that can't seem to make actual decisions of cement their airy concepts into actual, tangible, do-able things.

Ugh.

But those people don't usually make a website asking for contributions. They at least pre-write their BS before trying to sell it.

Hawk one · 11th January 2008, 02:24 PM

Originally Posted by JonnyFive

I can't believe this thread has gone this far without anyone mentioning The Little Project that Could.

If I need to explain it to you, you're not human. Seriously.

Off-topic, but "The Little Train that could" isn't -that- well-known in all countries, you know. Yeah, I know about it (and frankly, the title really tells it all, doesn't it?), but I never read the picture book, nor did I watch the cartoon... It may have aired here once or twice, though...

CFLarsen · 11th January 2008, 02:34 PM

Bad, sure. But not the worst.

After all, Apple's business strategy is based on a mix of "We are family" and the national anthem of Oceania...

geni · 11th January 2008, 02:55 PM

wikis and management don't always maike a great combination.

blobru · 11th January 2008, 04:43 PM

Originally Posted by tkingdoll

Oh tell me about it. People who speak, a lot, but don't actually say anything. A friend of mine calls this "just saying words". He's right, they are words, but no actual meaning. People like that can't seem to make actual decisions of cement their airy concepts into actual, tangible, do-able things.
...

from ProjeCATS

Buzzwords
It’s so easy to use them
Every syllable woos them
No one knows what they mean
We must retool
Synergistic paradigms for aha empowerment
By proactively
Diversifying

9th January 2008, 03:54 PM	#1
tkingdoll AKA TEEK Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Up Myself Posts: 12,471	The single dumbest thing I've ever seen Someone sent me a link to a new collaborative wiki project, which will eventually become a book, or so the creators claim. It's about new project management techniques... ...based on Fiddler on the Roof. OK, so as if that's not funny and weird enough, they've called it... Fiddler on the Project!!!! I am not joking. Neither, it seems, are they. Quote: So, the project manager, the leader of these projects, has one foot on tradition and one foot on change. All along, he or she must balance between tradition and change while actively orchestrating the elements of the project, smoothly conducting, if you will, the ‘music’ of the project while not losing their foothold on either, and – you guessed it, ending up in a dangerous situation. Such is the Fiddler from Fiddler on the Roof. He balances on the peak of the roof, perched atop the house, effortlessly keeping his balance with one foot on either side of the peak while producing beautiful, enchanting music – a melody that is an inspiration for the story's main character, Tevya. The fiddler never fails – and he never falls. The really odd thing is that although they've got a name and plan to have a book, they don't appear to actually have any ideas. Hence the wiki. It's the oddest thing I've ever seen in business. But, someone here might be a fan of the musical AND a project manager. In which case, go nuts! They need contributions, clearly. I did think of some analogies between project management and actually going to see the musical itself, like Before you start a project, everyone is enthusiastic. Then the project starts. At first it seems to be going well but after a while it starts to drag. People lose interest. By the end of the project, half of the stakeholders have left and the other half have lost the will to live. But I don't think that's quite what they had in mind.
	__________________ www.stormmovie.net Official website of Tim Minchin's Storm Movie Last edited by tkingdoll; 9th January 2008 at 03:59 PM.

9th January 2008, 07:12 PM	#2
bruto Penultimate Amazing Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: way way north of Diddy Wah Diddy Posts: 11,191	I think it's too nonsensical to qualify as merely dumb.
	__________________ "Sir, I have found you an argument; but I am not obliged to find you an understanding.(Samuel Johnson) The gods are less for their love of praise....(Wendell Berry)

9th January 2008, 09:44 PM	#3
Wolfman Chief Solipsistic Autosycophant Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Dongguan, China Posts: 11,811	Argh. The worst part of this is that they are starting with an analogy, and then trying to make all the information fit that analogy. Which is absolutely the opposite of the process that should be used. What you should do is do an analysis/study of effective project management strategies/techniques, and then find an analogy/illustration that best fits with your findings. So, these guys are starting a new business project. Rather than leading that project, they are just throwing out some lame-ass analogy, with no real cohesive plan or strategy in place, beyond, "Give us whatever your ideas are, as long as you can make them fit the idea of 'Fiddler on the Roof'". And these are the guys who are going to write a book to tell others about how to run projects?!?
	__________________ The Meta-Solipsistic Autosycophant mantra: "I post, therefore I am nominated"

9th January 2008, 09:51 PM	#4
steverino Illuminator Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Seattle, Washington Posts: 3,688	I was thinking, a good sequel to the book might be, "The Holocaust," or "How to handle working for an overbearing boss and make sure he doesn't kill all his employees."
	__________________ "Ferchrissakes I am not Jewish..."- Darth Rotor "Well, my nipples are pink. I've never looked at my own butt-hole, but I hope it's pink too." Mycroft "In the military, a gay man might see a wiener, and we all know that when a gay man sees a wiener, he goes into an uncontrollable frenzy of lust."- Marquis de Carabas

9th January 2008, 10:07 PM	#5
Wolfman Chief Solipsistic Autosycophant Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Dongguan, China Posts: 11,811	We could do a whole series of "Literary Project Management Books". "Fiddler on the Project" "War and Projects" <-- A relative comparison of projects and wars, and what military strategies can be adapted to the workplace "Death of a Project" <-- An analysis of the best ways to doom a project (see "Fiddler on the Project") "Moby Project" <-- In search of the elusive giant project that will finally bring a sense of fulfillment and completion to your life "The Old Man and the Project" <-- Does your company suffer from aging management who stubbornly cling to outdated concepts and methodologies? Examining change processes within long-established organizations. "One Flew Over the Project's Nest" <-- Too often, good ideas are suggested, but ignored because the person making the suggestion is too subordinate. Studies have shown that being able to listen to and consider all ideas equally can help you avoid having the best ideas 'fly away'. "All Quiet on the Project Front" <-- A study of companies that have gotten into a rut, and have no new activity or energy. Feel free to suggest more
	__________________ The Meta-Solipsistic Autosycophant mantra: "I post, therefore I am nominated"

9th January 2008, 10:10 PM	#6
rjh01 Gentleman of leisure Tagger Join Date: May 2005 Location: Planet Earth Posts: 17,201	My Mum had a saying Quote: Those who know how to do something do it. Those who do not know how to do something teach it. She was a teacher. Sonds like a lot like this book.
	__________________ dddffffpppqqqq Want to use your computer for something that will make society better? See this thread for details Folding@home

9th January 2008, 10:39 PM	#7
rjh01 Gentleman of leisure Tagger Join Date: May 2005 Location: Planet Earth Posts: 17,201	The ultimate management guide is Dilbert.
	__________________ dddffffpppqqqq Want to use your computer for something that will make society better? See this thread for details Folding@home

10th January 2008, 01:58 AM	#8
Damien Evans Up The Irons Tagger Join Date: May 2007 Location: Melbourne, Australia Posts: 25,310	Originally Posted by rjh01 My Mum had a saying She was a teacher. Sonds like a lot like this book. With, of course the closer: Those who can't teach, teach P.E.
	__________________ WHAT CAN THE HARVEST HOPE FOR, IF NOT THE CARE OF THE REAPER MAN? - Death "Racism is a disease in society. We're all equal. I don't care what their colour is, or religion. Just as long as they're human beings they're my buddies." - Mandawuy Yunupingu, lead singer of Yothu Yindi

10th January 2008, 03:03 AM	#9
Francesca R Girl Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: London EC1 Posts: 11,826	I like this honesty from Scott Adams at the "Big opening" foreword of The Dilbert Principle (1996) Quote: These days it seems like any idiot with a laptop computer can churn out a business book and make a few bucks. That's certainly what I'm hoping. It would be a real let-down if the trend changed before this masterpiece goes to print.

10th January 2008, 06:00 AM	#10
tkingdoll AKA TEEK Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Up Myself Posts: 12,471	My friend wants to start Chitty Chitty Bang Project. Myself, I prefer The Project of the Opera. Or perhaps The Sound of Project.
	__________________ www.stormmovie.net Official website of Tim Minchin's Storm Movie

10th January 2008, 06:06 AM	#11
Wolfman Chief Solipsistic Autosycophant Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Dongguan, China Posts: 11,811	Originally Posted by tkingdoll My friend wants to start Chitty Chitty Bang Project. Myself, I prefer The Project of the Opera. Or perhaps The Sound of Project. That's all fine and dandy...but perhaps you could elaborate on the theme/purpose of each of those?
	__________________ The Meta-Solipsistic Autosycophant mantra: "I post, therefore I am nominated"

10th January 2008, 06:12 AM	#12
Spindrift Enturbulator Extraordinaire Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Right here! Posts: 8,461	The fiddler never falls or fails... until the Cossacks show up and drive him off his land.
	__________________ I've always believed that cluelessness evolved as an adaptation to allow the truly appalling to live with themselves. - G. B. Trudeau A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky dangerous animals and you know it. - Kay, Men in Black.

10th January 2008, 06:24 AM	#13
joobz Tergiversator Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: That's how you get ants Posts: 17,505	Originally Posted by tkingdoll My friend wants to start Chitty Chitty Bang Project. Myself, I prefer The Project of the Opera. Or perhaps The Sound of Project. Hello, Project, my old friend. a team meeting, discussing you again The boss' vision, weakly reasoning He's demanding progress weekly And The deadlines, He says they still remain it's past the due date Within the Sound of Project
	__________________ What's the best argument for UHC? This argument against UHC. "Perhaps one reason per capita GDP is lower in UHC countries is because they've tried to prevent this important function [bankrupting the sick] and thus carry forward considerable economic dead wood?"-BeAChooser

10th January 2008, 06:34 AM	#14
ImaginalDisc Proactive Untwister of Octagonal Hippopotamus Pants Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Miami, Fl Posts: 10,225	The Project of Cthulu. At first, you have no idea what you're doing. Then, some cop from New Orleans shows up with something really hideous, and that reminds one of the old timers in the room about that time he saw some crazy stuff with the Eskimos. Then nothing exciting happens for a while until most of your team get eaten alive by the project and you spend the rest of your professional life hoping no one discovers the project.
	__________________ Definition: 'Love' is making a shot to the knees of a target 120 kilometers away using an Aratech sniper rifle with a tri-light scope. Statement: This definition, I am told, is subject to interpretation. Obviously, love is a matter of odds. Not many meatbags could make such a shot, and fewer would derive love from it. Yet for me, love is knowing your target, putting them in your targeting reticle, and together, achieving a singular purpose, against statistically long odds. *-HK-47*

10th January 2008, 06:45 AM	#15
Lucky Graduate Poster Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Yorkshire Posts: 1,196	A few British entries for the list: The Time Project: Divide your workforce into two teams – the Xs, who are productive but uncouth, and the Ys, whose role is to be charming and decorative (and get eaten by the Xs). Wuthering Projects: Find a suitably bleak northern setting for your project, adding interest by surrounding yourself with characters who are colourful but creepy (to the point of derangement); ensure all your plans are derailed by dysfunctional relationships, jealousy and illicit passions; hope everything will sort itself out after death. Far From the Madding Projects: Take charge of a rural business; make terrible decisions that cause disaster for everyone around, and get away with it by being good-looking. (This one's perhaps a bit too realistic) Vanity Project: Emphasis on appearance without substance; get what you want by fleecing all and sundry without contributing anything of any value yourself.
	__________________ I believe that economic advances merely provide the opportunity for a step forward which, as yet, hasn't happened. All we have done is to advance to a point at which we could make a real improvement in human life, but we shan't do it without the recognition that common decency is necessary. George Orwell

10th January 2008, 06:55 AM	#16
Loss Leader Opinionated Jerk Moderator Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: New York Posts: 11,885	I don't think the person has a clear idea of what the fidler in Fidler is supposed to represent. There is no point in the play where it is asserted that he can never fall and never fail. Nor does he have one foot rooted in tradition and one in change. The only reference to the fidler is when Tevya says, "Without tradition, our lives would be as shaky as a fidler on the roof." The fidler represents nothing but tradition. The play is about change. As change comes to Tevya's family, he feels a loss of balance, place and purpose. These issues are never resolved in the play. He cuts off ties to one daughter and everyone abandons the town to avoid the pogroms. He never makes his peace with change or finds a balance between tradition and progress. It's just gibberish masquerading as an idea.
	__________________ Follow me on Twitter! @LossLeader This force is receiving all the right to vote through the use of magic. - Miernik Wieslaw <NEW> VOTE FOR ME JUST BECAUSE <NEW>

10th January 2008, 07:05 AM	#17
Tokenconservative Banned Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 2,204	Is the primary author named Scott Adams?

10th January 2008, 07:10 AM	#18
JonnyFive Insurance Underwriter of Doom Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 4,473	Sounds like some people got a little too worked up about this whole "analogy" thing. I always say: business is like a box of chocolates... mmm.... chocolate... Wait, what were we talking about?
	__________________ "If you drink virus water ,i must say ‘don't drink it,it is trap’." -Emre_1974tr Ex-defendant in Simpson v. Randi, et al.

10th January 2008, 07:39 AM	#19
malbui Beauf Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Pays de Gex Posts: 2,094	Originally Posted by Damien Evans With, of course the closer: Those who can't teach, teach P.E. My father-in-law maintains that the closer is "those who can't teach, teach teachers". He did spend a dozen years working for the IUFM - the university teacher training section.
	__________________ "But Master! Does not the fire need water too? Does not the mountain need the storm? Does not your scrotum need kicking?"

10th January 2008, 08:47 AM	#20
Quinn Breathtakingly blasphemous. Join Date: Jan 2002 Posts: 1,894	Little Project of Horrors: Someone discovers a cute, novel management analogy, and decides to make a full-blown business project out of it. But soon it's discovered that the project can only survive by sucking out people's intelligence. By the time the originator figures this out, the project has grown too big for him to stop, and he willingly sacrifices others to the stupidity of his own project for personal gain. In the end his own greed and stupidity consume him, and we learn that an idea that stupid could only have come from an alien race who sent it to Earth to destroy us from within. Oh, and there are lots of doo-wop songs.
	__________________ It's not a matter of living life without mystery or wonder. It's a matter of living life without the approval of people who ignorantly assume that by rejecting the irrational, I experience no mystery or wonder. And frankly, I do just fine without that. Last edited by Quinn; 10th January 2008 at 08:52 AM.

10th January 2008, 09:00 AM	#21
Michael Redman Illuminator Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: St. Paul, MN Posts: 3,063	Originally Posted by Wolfman "Moby Project" <-- In search of the elusive giant project that will finally bring a sense of fulfillment and completion to your life I spit my last TPS Report at thee!
	__________________ The rule is perfect; in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane. - Mark Twain

10th January 2008, 09:13 AM	#22
Darat Lackey Administrator / JREF Forum Liaison Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: South East, UK Posts: 64,804	Originally Posted by ImaginalDisc The Project of Cthulu. At first, you have no idea what you're doing. Then, some cop from New Orleans shows up with something really hideous, and that reminds one of the old timers in the room about that time he saw some crazy stuff with the Eskimos. Then nothing exciting happens for a while until most of your team get eaten alive by the project and you spend the rest of your professional life hoping no one discovers the project. This thread is meant to be about project management methodologies based on fictional works - not tried and tested project management methodologies.
	__________________ If it were all so simple! If only there were evil people somewhere insidiously committing evil deeds, and it were necessary only to separate them from the rest of us and destroy them. But the line dividing good and evil cuts through the heart of every human being. And who is willing to destroy a piece of his own heart? - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn 1918-2008

10th January 2008, 09:18 AM	#23
Darat Lackey Administrator / JREF Forum Liaison Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: South East, UK Posts: 64,804	Frankenstein Project - collect old bits of past failed projects, stitch them together and hope no one notices the smell until after the project completion party.
	__________________ If it were all so simple! If only there were evil people somewhere insidiously committing evil deeds, and it were necessary only to separate them from the rest of us and destroy them. But the line dividing good and evil cuts through the heart of every human being. And who is willing to destroy a piece of his own heart? - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn 1918-2008

10th January 2008, 09:25 AM	#24
JonnyFive Insurance Underwriter of Doom Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 4,473	I can't believe this thread has gone this far without anyone mentioning The Little Project that Could. If I need to explain it to you, you're not human. Seriously.
	__________________ "If you drink virus water ,i must say ‘don't drink it,it is trap’." -Emre_1974tr Ex-defendant in Simpson v. Randi, et al.

10th January 2008, 09:28 AM	#25
Tokenconservative Banned Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 2,204	Originally Posted by JonnyFive Sounds like some people got a little too worked up about this whole "analogy" thing. I always say: business is like a box of chocolates... mmm.... chocolate... Wait, what were we talking about? Duh. Chocolate. Is there anything else WORTH talking about!?

10th January 2008, 09:30 AM	#26
ImaginalDisc Proactive Untwister of Octagonal Hippopotamus Pants Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Miami, Fl Posts: 10,225	Originally Posted by Tokenconservative Duh. Chocolate. Is there anything else WORTH talking about!? Ascribing the decline of Western Civilization to the pernicious influence of "liberals" who consist of everyone on the planet with the exception of yourself?
	__________________ Definition: 'Love' is making a shot to the knees of a target 120 kilometers away using an Aratech sniper rifle with a tri-light scope. Statement: This definition, I am told, is subject to interpretation. Obviously, love is a matter of odds. Not many meatbags could make such a shot, and fewer would derive love from it. Yet for me, love is knowing your target, putting them in your targeting reticle, and together, achieving a singular purpose, against statistically long odds. *-HK-47*

10th January 2008, 10:30 AM	#27
MilwaukeeMike Muse Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: The Plains of Oblivion Posts: 793	What a load of crap!
	__________________ "Let the bears pay the bears tax, I pay the Homer tax!"

10th January 2008, 01:04 PM	#28
Tokenconservative Banned Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 2,204	Originally Posted by ImaginalDisc Ascribing the decline of Western Civilization to the pernicious influence of "liberals" who consist of everyone on the planet with the exception of yourself? Hmm....well, sure. For a change of pace, you mean? Tokie

10th January 2008, 01:10 PM	#29
Tokenconservative Banned Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 2,204	Originally Posted by JonnyFive I can't believe this thread has gone this far without anyone mentioning The Little Project that Could. If I need to explain it to you, you're not human. Seriously. Anybody ever read that nonsense in the 1990s, "Who Moved My Cheese" (and I think there was another in the series). I read a book a while back called "SHAM..."something about deconstructing the self-help/accutualization movement in which the author (nope, don't recall the name, and no link--LIIINNKKKKK!!!--it was an odd informaton delivery device: a couple or 300 sheets of something calle "paper" stictched together along one side and bound into something this weirdo at a place called the "libarry" called a "book." Very odd) found that the biggest market for self-help books is...those who've previously purchased a self-help book. Now, I could be off-base here, but if you buy one of these, ain't it 'posed to help "fix" you so you won't need more self-help books? Turns out what they do (call it a CT, if you like) is essentially encourage you NOT to get "better" but rather to go buy another SH book. Tokie

10th January 2008, 02:18 PM	#30
bruto Penultimate Amazing Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: way way north of Diddy Wah Diddy Posts: 11,191	Originally Posted by Tokenconservative Anybody ever read that nonsense in the 1990s, "Who Moved My Cheese" (and I think there was another in the series). I read a book a while back called "SHAM..."something about deconstructing the self-help/accutualization movement in which the author (nope, don't recall the name, and no link--LIIINNKKKKK!!!--it was an odd informaton delivery device: a couple or 300 sheets of something calle "paper" stictched together along one side and bound into something this weirdo at a place called the "libarry" called a "book." Very odd) found that the biggest market for self-help books is...those who've previously purchased a self-help book. Now, I could be off-base here, but if you buy one of these, ain't it 'posed to help "fix" you so you won't need more self-help books? Turns out what they do (call it a CT, if you like) is essentially encourage you NOT to get "better" but rather to go buy another SH book. Tokie You might enjoy How Mumbo Jumbo Conquered the World, by Francis Wheen. The main point is his lament about the death of the Enlightenment, and the rise of post-modernism and its various relatives. About half of it will probably rub you entirely the wrong way and make you want to spit and scream bloody murder, but Mr. Wheen is an equal-opportunity curmudgeon, and takes some pretty good punches at people like Al Gore and Hillary Clinton, too, which no foe of theirs, conservative or liberal, should miss. One of his pet peeves is the popular economic best-sellers. He missed Who Moved My Cheese, I think, but got many others, and has great fun describing just what bull*** most of them are, and how their ideas subsequently blew up. Tokie, your google fu is not strong, is it? I think This book is the one you were referring to. Sounds interesting. e.t.a. Who Moved My Cheese.... Isn't that the one that explains why we're all using Tandy computers now?
	__________________ "Sir, I have found you an argument; but I am not obliged to find you an understanding.(Samuel Johnson) The gods are less for their love of praise....(Wendell Berry) Last edited by bruto; 10th January 2008 at 02:20 PM. Reason: added thought

11th January 2008, 10:52 AM	#31
Tokenconservative Banned Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 2,204	Originally Posted by bruto You might enjoy How Mumbo Jumbo Conquered the World, by Francis Wheen. The main point is his lament about the death of the Enlightenment, and the rise of post-modernism and its various relatives. About half of it will probably rub you entirely the wrong way and make you want to spit and scream bloody murder, but Mr. Wheen is an equal-opportunity curmudgeon, and takes some pretty good punches at people like Al Gore and Hillary Clinton, too, which no foe of theirs, conservative or liberal, should miss. One of his pet peeves is the popular economic best-sellers. He missed Who Moved My Cheese, I think, but got many others, and has great fun describing just what bull*** most of them are, and how their ideas subsequently blew up. Tokie, your google fu is not strong, is it? I think This book is the one you were referring to. Sounds interesting. e.t.a. Who Moved My Cheese.... Isn't that the one that explains why we're all using Tandy computers now? It amazed me in the 90s to see all these wunderkind who hit it rich with some nifty and some just nonsensical 'net idears (remember the guy who used his .com fortune to start a UFO research center?) that nonetheless, typically through the foolishness of others with lots of money, made them very rich, and this, they assumed, meant that they MUST be econ. wizards, so they all wrote books. Sort of like Madona's book on how to raise kids....next up: Britany Spears on Drinking and Driving Responsibly With a Toddler in the Car. Anyway, yeah..Salerno, that's the book. Interesting, a bit off on some (a bit too personal on Dr. Laura, for example, tho she is a study in hypocrisy, to be sure) but seems to make sense in the final analysis: these books sell to people who buy these books over and over and over. And you are right, I don't rush over to Google to um, google everything I reference in here. Bad Tokie! No cookie! Tokie

11th January 2008, 11:39 AM	#32
bigred Penultimate Amazing Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: USA Posts: 12,542	Originally Posted by tkingdoll The really odd thing is that although they've got a name and plan to have a book, they don't appear to actually have any ideas. Implying this is anything new in business? If I had a nickel for every meeting, yahoo, or other assorted business management/"improvement" time-waster I dealt with in my life, I'd make Bill Gates look like a pauper.

11th January 2008, 11:40 AM	#33
bigred Penultimate Amazing Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: USA Posts: 12,542	Originally Posted by Darat This thread is meant to be about project management methodologies based on fictional works Most project management methodologies ARE fictional works.

11th January 2008, 12:11 PM	#34
NoZed Avenger Bitter Whiner Join Date: Apr 2002 Posts: 11,313	No love for my best-seller "Projects on a Plane" ?
	Last edited by NoZed Avenger; 11th January 2008 at 12:12 PM.

11th January 2008, 12:17 PM	#35
ImaginalDisc Proactive Untwister of Octagonal Hippopotamus Pants Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Miami, Fl Posts: 10,225	Originally Posted by NoZed Avenger No love for my best-seller "Projects on a Plane" ? I am sick of these mother***** projects on this mother***** agenda!
	__________________ Definition: 'Love' is making a shot to the knees of a target 120 kilometers away using an Aratech sniper rifle with a tri-light scope. Statement: This definition, I am told, is subject to interpretation. Obviously, love is a matter of odds. Not many meatbags could make such a shot, and fewer would derive love from it. Yet for me, love is knowing your target, putting them in your targeting reticle, and together, achieving a singular purpose, against statistically long odds. *-HK-47*