Stealing Male Reproductive Organs

Starthinker · 23rd April 2008, 06:49 AM

Yes, I tend to click on news stories with the phrase "penis theft" in the headline: http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20080422/...p80pynk7is0NUE

Drudgewire · 23rd April 2008, 06:56 AM

Oh noz, if their penises are stolen how in the world will the Congans be able to continue their charming practice of systematic rape as a form of genocide?

Beerina · 23rd April 2008, 07:56 AM

Originally Posted by Starthinker

Yes, I tend to click on news stories with the phrase "penis theft" in the headline

I have a similar problem. I tend to click on emails with the phrase "PENIS ENLARGEMENT!" in the subject line.

I want to, um, keep up on the latest in medical science, um, including things other men might need.

I know they've been scared of "penis shrinking" via black magic for quite some time, said correlations having nothing to do with both you and your spouse growing older. But complete removal? Dang!

RSLancastr · 23rd April 2008, 08:41 AM

Originally Posted by FromArticle

Reports of so-called penis snatching are not uncommon in West Africa, where belief in traditional religions and witchcraft remains widespread...

I wonder if there are any reports of snatch-snatching?

plumjam · 23rd April 2008, 08:45 AM

Just another cockamaimie story.

ravdin · 23rd April 2008, 09:01 AM

That would be a funny story if it weren't for the lynchings.

David Wong · 23rd April 2008, 09:15 AM

OK, I have actual questions here. ( I came in here specifically to post this after seeing it on Drudge).

I understand the "sorcerers are causing impotence" superstition. Easily understandable.

But how did the "penis thief" superstition get started when they can't produce a single victim of actual complete penis theft? I mean they're quoting people in that article who claim to have seen them, victims whose penises have completely vanished. How? Where?

I don't get it.

Though I love the quote these stories always have from the guy saying the sorcerer made his penis "tiny." Note they never have any Before pictures.

Diagoras · 23rd April 2008, 02:26 PM

No baby, that's not uhh, it's ummmm...black magic, yeah! That's why it's like that! The guy across the street must be some kind of sorceror...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Genital...ction_syndrome

Elizabeth I · 23rd April 2008, 07:04 PM

Originally Posted by Beerina

I have a similar problem. I tend to click on emails with the phrase "PENIS ENLARGEMENT!" in the subject line.

I actually received an email last night with the subject line of "Male Dignity Enhancement."

godless dave · 23rd April 2008, 07:14 PM

What I find fascinating about this particular woo (I just read the Wikipedia article the other day), is that it's an example of people believing something despite the evidence in front of their own eyes. It reminds me of anorexia nervosa sufferes who can look in a mirror and somehow perceive a fat person standing there despite the protruding bones.

devnull · 23rd April 2008, 07:22 PM

Originally Posted by godless dave

What I find fascinating about this particular woo (I just read the Wikipedia article the other day), is that it's an example of people believing something despite the evidence in front of their own eyes. It reminds me of anorexia nervosa sufferes who can look in a mirror and somehow perceive a fat person standing there despite the protruding bones.

or evolution deniers.

Starthinker · 24th April 2008, 07:35 AM

I just wanted to add that for the low, low price of $59.99 I will sell you a special quartz crystal that vibrates on a quantum level that prevents witch doctors from stealing or shrinking your penis. It can even add length and girth if you believe it will. Just carry it in your pocket. Operators are standing by.

MaryCBW · 24th April 2008, 03:05 PM

I've been lurking here for a long time. This thread is one of the reasons I decided to join.
Robert's site is another reason. I hate Ms. Browne.
Robert:
Probably. You don't need one without the other since sex is just for making babies.

David:
Now I'm scared to look at drudge. Are they playing "King of the Playground" over there?
I imagine there's a troll frenzy started by the usual suspects.

godless dave · 24th April 2008, 03:19 PM

Originally Posted by devnull

or evolution deniers.

This is even more basic. An evolution denier can choose not to go to any of the places where you see fossils in the rocks; she can choose not to read any of the relevant literature. I wouldn't know how to read the results of a radiometric dating procedure; to pretend it's unreliable, I wouldn't have to deny something obvious that's attached to my own body.

The guys in the story in the OP can look right at their own penis and perceive it as being smaller than it used to be.

Showmeproof · 24th April 2008, 06:50 PM

Originally Posted by Beerina

I have a similar problem. I tend to click on emails with the phrase "PENIS ENLARGEMENT!" in the subject line.

I want to, um, keep up on the latest in medical science, um, including things other men might need.

I know they've been scared of "penis shrinking" via black magic for quite some time, said correlations having nothing to do with both you and your spouse growing older. But complete removal? Dang!

I am the opposite. I tend to look for emails with the phrase "penis reduction" if you catch my drift......

lol

Aoidoi · 24th April 2008, 07:28 PM

Originally Posted by godless dave

The guys in the story in the OP can look right at their own penis and perceive it as being smaller than it used to be.

Well, most of the time it is.

Normal Dude · 24th April 2008, 08:48 PM

They can pry my penis from my cold, dead hands.

Puppycow · 25th April 2008, 02:28 AM

I was going to start a thread based on this article about Penis theft panic, but apparantly I've been beaten to the punch.

Quote:

KINSHASA (Reuters) - Police in Congo have arrested 13 suspected sorcerers accused of using black magic to steal or shrink men's penises after a wave of panic and attempted lynchings triggered by the alleged witchcraft.

Safeguard those family jewels.

Lensman · 27th April 2008, 06:24 AM

Lurgofomicronceti8modeon
"Harvest the humans LOWER horn."
lurgofomicronceti8modeoff.

quarky · 27th April 2008, 06:55 AM

Penises are so yesterday.

creativecritter41 · 27th April 2008, 07:06 AM

LOL! I knew this thread had potential with a title like that! I wasn't let down.. the puns are outstanding.

grayman · 27th April 2008, 10:54 AM

Penis theft?

I remember in high school and college, I couldn't give it away.

Ateius · 27th April 2008, 11:01 AM

Originally Posted by Lensman

Lurgofomicronceti8modeon
"Harvest the humans LOWER horn."
lurgofomicronceti8modeoff.

That's Lurg, ruler of the planet Omicron Perseii 8, thank you very much.

Lensman · 5th May 2008, 04:07 PM

Originally Posted by Ateius

That's Lurg, ruler of the planet Omicron Perseii 8, thank you very much.

OK OK, no need to bite off my lower horn.

23rd April 2008, 06:49 AM	#1
Starthinker Philosopher Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Denver, CO Posts: 5,014	Stealing Male Reproductive Organs Yes, I tend to click on news stories with the phrase "penis theft" in the headline: http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20080422/...p80pynk7is0NUE
	__________________ \|¦¦\|¦ \|¦\|\|\|\|¦\|\|\|¦\|\|¦¦\|¦\|\|\|\|\|\|\|¦\|¦¦¦¦\|¦¦¦¦\|\|¦\|¦\|¦¦\|¦ \|¦¦\|¦ He who doubts victory has already lost the battle. Below the navel there is neither religion nor truth.

23rd April 2008, 06:56 AM	#2
Drudgewire Critical Doofus Join Date: Feb 2006 Posts: 9,434	Oh noz, if their penises are stolen how in the world will the Congans be able to continue their charming practice of systematic rape as a form of genocide?
	__________________ "You post a lie, it is proven 100% false, you move the goalposts and post yet another lie and it continues on around till we're back to the original lie as if it will somehow become true if it's re-iterated again. The same misquotes over and over again. The same hindsight bias, appeals to authority, etc." -lapman describing every twoofer on the internet

23rd April 2008, 07:56 AM	#3
Beerina Sarcastic Conqueror of Notions Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: A floating island above the clouds Posts: 23,835	Originally Posted by Starthinker Yes, I tend to click on news stories with the phrase "penis theft" in the headline I have a similar problem. I tend to click on emails with the phrase "PENIS ENLARGEMENT!" in the subject line. I want to, um, keep up on the latest in medical science, um, including things other men might need. I know they've been scared of "penis shrinking" via black magic for quite some time, said correlations having nothing to do with both you and your spouse growing older. But complete removal? Dang!
	__________________ "Great innovations should not be forced [by way of] slender majorities." - Thomas Jefferson The government should nationalize it! Socialized, single-payer video game development and sales *now!* More, cheaper, better games, right? Right? Last edited by Beerina; 23rd April 2008 at 07:57 AM.

23rd April 2008, 08:41 AM	#4
RSLancastr www.StopSylvia.com Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Salem, Oregon Posts: 15,526	Originally Posted by FromArticle Reports of so-called penis snatching are not uncommon in West Africa, where belief in traditional religions and witchcraft remains widespread... I wonder if there are any reports of snatch-snatching?
	__________________ Who is "Kaz?" Read about her at www.StopKaz.com. Curious about Sylvia Browne? Read about her at www.StopSylvia.com. Ever wonder "What's the Harm?" with psychics, alternative medicine, etc?

23rd April 2008, 09:15 AM	#7
David Wong Graduate Poster Join Date: Sep 2006 Posts: 1,768	OK, I have actual questions here. ( I came in here specifically to post this after seeing it on Drudge). I understand the "sorcerers are causing impotence" superstition. Easily understandable. But how did the "penis thief" superstition get started when they can't produce a single victim of actual complete penis theft? I mean they're quoting people in that article who claim to have seen them, victims whose penises have completely vanished. How? Where? I don't get it. Though I love the quote these stories always have from the guy saying the sorcerer made his penis "tiny." Note they never have any Before pictures.
	__________________ Author, John Dies at the End. Available now in hardcover. Editor, Cracked.com. Last edited by David Wong; 23rd April 2008 at 09:15 AM.

23rd April 2008, 08:45 AM	#5
plumjam Banned Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Valencia, Spain Posts: 7,837	Just another cockamaimie story.

23rd April 2008, 09:01 AM	#6
ravdin Illuminator Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: San Francisco, CA Posts: 3,551	That would be a funny story if it weren't for the lynchings.

23rd April 2008, 02:26 PM	#8
Diagoras Unrepentant Francophile Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: New York State, USA Posts: 590	No baby, that's not uhh, it's ummmm...black magic, yeah! That's why it's like that! The guy across the street must be some kind of sorceror... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Genital...ction_syndrome
	__________________ PROUD DEFECTOR FROM THE 9/11 "TRUTH" (i.e. falsehood) "MOVEMENT" (i.e. whining on the Internet)

23rd April 2008, 07:04 PM	#9
Elizabeth I Olympic Equestrian Wannabe Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Defending the Alamo Posts: 9,253	Originally Posted by Beerina I have a similar problem. I tend to click on emails with the phrase "PENIS ENLARGEMENT!" in the subject line. I actually received an email last night with the subject line of "Male Dignity Enhancement."
	__________________ • There is something about the outside of a horse that is good for the inside of a man. - Winston Churchill • Never wrestle with a pig - you just get dirty and the pig enjoys it. • My blog: Pardon me, may I ask...

23rd April 2008, 07:14 PM	#10
godless dave Great Dalmuti Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: St. Paul, Minnesota Posts: 6,122	What I find fascinating about this particular woo (I just read the Wikipedia article the other day), is that it's an example of people believing something despite the evidence in front of their own eyes. It reminds me of anorexia nervosa sufferes who can look in a mirror and somehow perceive a fat person standing there despite the protruding bones.
	__________________ "If it's real, then it gets more interesting the closer you examine it. If it's not real, just the opposite is true." - aggle-rithm

23rd April 2008, 07:22 PM	#11
devnull Illuminator Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Perth, Western Australia Posts: 4,531	Originally Posted by godless dave What I find fascinating about this particular woo (I just read the Wikipedia article the other day), is that it's an example of people believing something despite the evidence in front of their own eyes. It reminds me of anorexia nervosa sufferes who can look in a mirror and somehow perceive a fat person standing there despite the protruding bones. or evolution deniers.
	__________________ no, i don't think i need to read naturalistic literature more accurately, to be convinced its true. - Gibhor

24th April 2008, 07:35 AM	#12
Starthinker Philosopher Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Denver, CO Posts: 5,014	I just wanted to add that for the low, low price of $59.99 I will sell you a special quartz crystal that vibrates on a quantum level that prevents witch doctors from stealing or shrinking your penis. It can even add length and girth if you believe it will. Just carry it in your pocket. Operators are standing by.
	__________________ \|¦¦\|¦ \|¦\|\|\|\|¦\|\|\|¦\|\|¦¦\|¦\|\|\|\|\|\|\|¦\|¦¦¦¦\|¦¦¦¦\|\|¦\|¦\|¦¦\|¦ \|¦¦\|¦ He who doubts victory has already lost the battle. Below the navel there is neither religion nor truth.

24th April 2008, 03:05 PM	#13
MaryCBW Scholar Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: in my imagination Posts: 104	I've been lurking here for a long time. This thread is one of the reasons I decided to join. Robert's site is another reason. I hate Ms. Browne. Robert: Probably. You don't need one without the other since sex is just for making babies. David: Now I'm scared to look at drudge. Are they playing "King of the Playground" over there? I imagine there's a troll frenzy started by the usual suspects.

24th April 2008, 03:19 PM	#14
godless dave Great Dalmuti Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: St. Paul, Minnesota Posts: 6,122	Originally Posted by devnull or evolution deniers. This is even more basic. An evolution denier can choose not to go to any of the places where you see fossils in the rocks; she can choose not to read any of the relevant literature. I wouldn't know how to read the results of a radiometric dating procedure; to pretend it's unreliable, I wouldn't have to deny something obvious that's attached to my own body. The guys in the story in the OP can look right at their own penis and perceive it as being smaller than it used to be.
	__________________ "If it's real, then it gets more interesting the closer you examine it. If it's not real, just the opposite is true." - aggle-rithm

24th April 2008, 06:50 PM	#15
Showmeproof Critical Thinker Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Hell, but others refer to it as NYC. Posts: 468	Originally Posted by Beerina I have a similar problem. I tend to click on emails with the phrase "PENIS ENLARGEMENT!" in the subject line. I want to, um, keep up on the latest in medical science, um, including things other men might need. I know they've been scared of "penis shrinking" via black magic for quite some time, said correlations having nothing to do with both you and your spouse growing older. But complete removal? Dang! I am the opposite. I tend to look for emails with the phrase "penis reduction" if you catch my drift...... lol
	__________________ "Chance favors the prepared mind" Louis Pasteur The skeptic does not mean him who doubts, but him who investigates or researches, as opposed to him who asserts and thinks that he has found” -Miguel de Unamuno “Great intellects are skeptical” Friedrich Nietzsche

24th April 2008, 07:28 PM	#16
Aoidoi Illuminator Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 4,417	Originally Posted by godless dave The guys in the story in the OP can look right at their own penis and perceive it as being smaller than it used to be. Well, most of the time it is.
Aoidoi Illuminator Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 4,417	__________________ "The priests used to say that faith can move mountains, and nobody believed them. Today the scientists say that they can level mountains, and nobody doubts them." - Joseph Campbell We cannot defend freedom abroad by abandoning it at home. —Edward R. Murrow

24th April 2008, 08:48 PM	#17
Normal Dude Space Shuttle Door Gunner Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: W/ The Evil Council Posts: 3,959	They can pry my penis from my cold, dead hands.
	__________________ "At some point, you just get past the horror of someone having these beliefs, and begin to enjoy the sheer comedy of it all." Complexity And I dont care if your name is Norm or Jack, Or Dick. I dont see why you have to post your name everytime you make a comment./ its IRRELIVANT -Rwalsh

25th April 2008, 02:28 AM	#18
Puppycow Penultimate Amazing Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Japan Posts: 15,701	I was going to start a thread based on this article about Penis theft panic, but apparantly I've been beaten to the punch. Quote: KINSHASA (Reuters) - Police in Congo have arrested 13 suspected sorcerers accused of using black magic to steal or shrink men's penises after a wave of panic and attempted lynchings triggered by the alleged witchcraft. Safeguard those family jewels.
	__________________ “Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them. With Major Major it had been all three.” ― Joseph Heller, Catch-22 Last edited by Puppycow; 25th April 2008 at 02:43 AM.

27th April 2008, 06:24 AM	#19
Lensman Graduate Poster Join Date: May 2007 Location: Caerphilly Posts: 1,411	Lurgofomicronceti8modeon "Harvest the humans LOWER horn." lurgofomicronceti8modeoff.
	__________________ When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty. I have learned that if you upset your wife, she nags you. If you upset her even more you get the silent treatment. Don't you think it's worth the extra effort?

27th April 2008, 06:55 AM	#20
quarky Banned Join Date: Oct 2007 Posts: 20,454	Penises are so yesterday.
quarky Banned Join Date: Oct 2007 Posts: 20,454

27th April 2008, 07:06 AM	#21
creativecritter41 Thinker Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 131	LOL! I knew this thread had potential with a title like that! I wasn't let down.. the puns are outstanding.
creativecritter41 Thinker Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 131	__________________ But now old friends they're acting strange, they shake their heads, and they tell me that I've changed. Well some things lost, but some things gained In living every day. - Joni Mitchell

27th April 2008, 10:54 AM	#22
grayman Happy-go-lucky Heretic Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Casa del Whacko Posts: 6,142	Penis theft? I remember in high school and college, I couldn't give it away.
	__________________ Stupidity is a condition. Ignorance is a choice. - Wiley All great truths begin as blasphemies. - George Bernard Shaw God is evil. As soon as you accept that, it all makes sense. - Sledge

27th April 2008, 11:01 AM	#23
Ateius Thinker Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Canada Posts: 224	Originally Posted by Lensman Lurgofomicronceti8modeon "Harvest the humans LOWER horn." lurgofomicronceti8modeoff. That's Lurg, ruler of the planet Omicron Perseii 8, thank you very much.
	__________________ "Tantum religio potuit suadere malorum. So potent was religion in persuading to evil deeds." ~ Lucretius Carus

5th May 2008, 04:07 PM	#24
Lensman Graduate Poster Join Date: May 2007 Location: Caerphilly Posts: 1,411	Originally Posted by Ateius That's Lurg, ruler of the planet Omicron Perseii 8, thank you very much. OK OK, no need to bite off my lower horn.
	__________________ When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty. I have learned that if you upset your wife, she nags you. If you upset her even more you get the silent treatment. Don't you think it's worth the extra effort?