Witty Responses to Common Statements

DrugFreeAlcoholic · 20th March 2009, 03:02 PM

After doing magic for a long time, I'm running into these statements from people quite often, and I'd like to have witty responses to them. I also posted a few statements which I do have witty responses to (and I always use them too)

Also, if you have common statements or situations that you encounter and have or want a witty response to it, please post it here and hopefully other magicans (or non-magicans) will help. Thanks!

How did you do that?
Very well, I thought.

How did you do that?
Can you keep a secret?
Yeah.
So can I.

(When you drop a card) That's all part of the act! (Got it from Bill Malone)

(When you fail a trick) That's proof magic or ESP doesn't exist. [Not sure if this is a good one]

Have you seen The Prestiege/The Illusionist?
[I need a witty response for this one]. So far I've been saying "Yeah... now stop asking me!" in a jocular tone.

I wouldn't wanna play cards with you.
[I need a witty response for this one].

Do another trick!
[I'd like to, but by complying with this request, it seems that it's not you who's in charge. Esp. if they tell you to do a trick for a friend who just arrived. I need a way to reframe it so I still hold the leadership position.]

(When walking into a place where people know you as "the magic guy") Hey, it's the magic guy!
[Need an entertaining, witty response to this one too.]

(After springing cards, doing Daryl's hot shot, card vanish, etc) How long did it take you to do that?
[Also don't have a witty response for this one.]

Do that again!
I charge for the 2nd time. OR Hey I'm not free, you know.

My brother/friend/dad is a magican too.
[I encounter this every now and then. Need a cool response for it.

NoZed Avenger · 20th March 2009, 06:34 PM

Originally Posted by DrugFreeAlcoholic

Hey, it's the magic guy!

Hey, now. You can't believe *everything* my ex-girlfriends say.

. . .that one's true, though.

Bob Klase · 21st March 2009, 08:12 AM

Some of my general opinions on witty responses (not necessarily all directed at you, but your post raises the issue):

Not all common statements require a witty response, particularly if you're not really a witty person. A lot of common questions are serious questions that deserve an real answer (which can sometimes be witty at the same time- or you can give a witty answer and immediately follow up with a serious one). A lot of magicians focus so much on having a snappy comeback that they come across as egotistical butts when the person asking the question is really trying to make conversation or is asking a real question that they're curious about.

When someone asks a question like "how did you do that", they might like a real answer but they obviously don't expect one. But for other questions like "Have you seen The Prestiege/The Illusionist?", or "how long have you been doing magic" why not just answer "yes, what did you think of them?" (unless the same person keeps asking the same question).

Originally Posted by DrugFreeAlcoholic

(When you drop a card)

"Good, gravity is still working."

Originally Posted by DrugFreeAlcoholic

(When you fail a trick)

"That really sucks, doesn't it."

"Guess that one still needs some more practice."

"Hey, if they all worked I'd be David Copperfield (or David Blaine, Criss Angel, etc)"

"Don't worry, if I was getting paid to perform I'd have done that right."

Originally Posted by DrugFreeAlcoholic

Have you seen The Prestiege/The Illusionist?

"Yes, have you? What did you think of them."

Originally Posted by DrugFreeAlcoholic

I wouldn't wanna play cards with you.

"I don't even like to play cards with me."

"I can't play cards in Las Vegas either- they don't like poor people."

Originally Posted by DrugFreeAlcoholic

Do another trick!
[I'd like to, but by complying with this request, it seems that it's not you who's in charge. Esp. if they tell you to do a trick for a friend who just arrived. I need a way to reframe it so I still hold the leadership position.]

You might be confusing "being in control" with "being in charge" or "holding the leadership position". You don't want to leave the impression that you're a trained monkey that does tricks on demand, but a lot of the time people ask this because they like your magic, or the last trick you did gave them what Eugene Burger would call an "experience in magic" and they want to experience it again. In some instances a witty comment could damage the moment of astonishment. But if you feel a witty comment is appropriate you could try:

"Trick? TRICK! What do you mean trick? I do miracles, I create astonishment.... Okay, let me show you a trick."

Originally Posted by DrugFreeAlcoholic

(When walking into a place where people know you as "the magic guy") Hey, it's the magic guy!

For the right person, "hey, it's the drunk guy!".

Originally Posted by DrugFreeAlcoholic

(After springing cards, doing Daryl's hot shot, card vanish, etc) How long did it take you to do that?

"About 2 seconds- sometimes I do it faster." I would follow this with a real answer (which doesn't necessarily mean the truth)- they're probably impressed and really wonder how long it took you to learn it.

Originally Posted by DrugFreeAlcoholic

My brother/friend/dad is a magican too.

"Really? I'll bet he's (or she's) better than me." This is a win-win answer. If they're not better than you then you look humble. If they are better than you then you don't look like your ego is out of control.

DrugFreeAlcoholic · 21st March 2009, 03:58 PM

Originally Posted by Bob Klase

You might be confusing "being in control" with "being in charge" or "holding the leadership position". You don't want to leave the impression that you're a trained monkey that does tricks on demand

The way I worded it was wrong, but not being the monkey that does tricks on demand is exactly what I was trying to avoid every time. I didn't want to seem like I was eagar to please them or that I really wanted and needed to please them.

Maybe I'll also try "only if you buy me a drink first" if I feel they'll be compliant.

Bob Klase · 21st March 2009, 06:54 PM

Originally Posted by DrugFreeAlcoholic

Maybe I'll also try "only if you buy me a drink first" if I feel they'll be compliant.

That could work, but it could sound a little like the town drunk ("will do tricks for booze"). I think I'd might go with something like "maybe later, I need to get a drink first... are you buying". That sounds (at least to me) less like you're willing to work for a drink and more like promising to do a trick later while offering them the opportunity to buy you a drink. Of course if they say 'no' when you ask if they're buying then you've committed to do magic later anyway, but I wouldn't think that's a big problem and you've maintained control.

Senex · 23rd March 2009, 03:31 PM

Here's a classic witty response to hecklers that I heard from Kathy Griffin. This past New Year's Eve I was sitting next to my dad in a hospital room taking in the New Year watching the ball drop in NYC. I was watching CNN and Anderson Cooper and Griffin were hosting train wreck TV on CNN. The one joke show was how inappropriate Kathy Griffin could get before blowing Cooper's proffesional persona. Cooper never did lose his cool but once when the live show came back from commercial we saw Cooper sitting in his chair and Griffin's butt because she was yelling over the back of the small set in Time's Square yelling at some of the the revelers... "Hey, do I go to where you work and knock the d**k out of your mouth?"

She is classy when dealing with hecklers and and you can't copyright witty statements. Just use with care at children's shows

Roma · 23rd March 2009, 09:43 PM

Sorry I can't stay it's time to feed the penguins.

Peter S. · 11th April 2009, 08:37 AM

(When you fail a trick) May we have a moment of silence for the trick that just died

Do another trick!
I'm sorry, I don't do requests.

(After springing cards, doing Daryl's hot shot, card vanish, etc) How long did it take you to do that?
A couple of hours of practice......Every day for about 8 years.

Cain · 14th April 2009, 01:23 PM

That Kathy Griffen heckler takedown has been used in comedy clubs for decades. It's sort of hackish. There's also, for a woman: "I don't go where you work, stand at the end of the bed, and tell you how it's done." For younger men you can set up the same joke, but with McDonald's and a mop.

I prefer: "If I wanted an **** from you I'd squeeze your head."

Anyway, I had been compiling a quite-long file filled with one-liners. I wish I would consult it more often to keep myself sharp. (David Spade allegedly flips through flash cards before going out on stage in order to sound witty when something unscripted happens).

Unfortunately, I could not find the most organized up-to-date version. But here's some of the things I've managed to glean for the situations mentioned.

This deals almost entirely with playing cards. The lines vary considerably in terms of quality:

Originally Posted by DrugFreeAlcoholic

How did you do that?
Very well, I thought.

Pete McCabe has cautioned against using that line. Screw him.

I prefer to say "Extremely well." Or: "slightly wrong, but no one noticed," which sounds humble, but could be taken as a little more dickish.

Then there's: "Judging by your response, quite well."

Also: "I'm just a vessel."

"Magnets."

Quote:

(When you drop a card)

"Everyone makes mistakes. My mother did." (Mark Lewis, I believe)

"I mask my skill with sloppiness."

"This is called 'misdirection.'"

"A deserter!" is one Simon Lovell uses. I don't care for it.

Quote:

(When you fail a trick)

"See, I will often imitate people who TRY to do what I do..."

"Um, have I shown you the trick where [describe the previous trick you just performed]."

Not one I use, but from Darwin Ortiz, specifically if you find the wrong card: "Well, at least the backs match."

Quote:

Have you seen The Prestiege/The Illusionist?

I don't get asked this much. People do ramble on about David Blaine and Criss Angel though. My responses here are anti-social. I take no interest in what they're saying -- "bah" them, really -- and try to move on. I just have a low tolerance for this kind of thing.

Bob's advice is best. I did actually stumble across a Dale Carnegie quote that, much as I hate it, seems to make sense. He's the author of the book business majors and Jehovah's Witnesses read: How to Win Friends and Influence People. He says the way to make friends is not to attract them to you with some ostentatious talent (such as, I dunno, sleight of hand), but to take an interest in them first, ask questions.

And if you listen to people's encounters with celebrities, the most positive responses come from exactly this type of behavior: "She said she loved my dress, and asked me where I bought it." This is called being down to earth (or so I've been told).

Quote:

I wouldn't wanna play cards with you.

"I've actually been banned from two casinos. One of them for gambling." (I think this is a Richard Osterlind line, and can only remember personally using it once, for one person. I dead panned it, and he asked, "So what casinos were you banned from?" Ugh.)

Quote:

Do another trick!

I will usually say either "OK" or "not right now."

"'Trick?' I don't do 'tricks'! Tricks are what whores do for money and cocaine." (Arrested Development)

Quote:

(When walking into a place where people know you as "the magic guy") Hey, it's the magic guy!

Oh, great.

(I do like that ex-girlfriends line from above.)

Quote:

(After springing cards, doing Daryl's hot shot, card vanish, etc) How long did it take you to do that?

Pre-empt it. A line I've heard from Darwin Ortiz: "Did you know all the practice I've put I could have been a doctor?" After the laugh, stage whisper: "he said modestly."

Also Darwin Ortiz: "This can be done by any 10 year-old... with thirty years of practice."

Quote:

Do that again!

I ignore this sort of request and move on. I recommend only addressing it if people insist.

Greg Wilson says (with enthusiasm) "You wanna see that again?"
Crowd: "Yeah!"
Wilson: "Bummer."

"Well, like most men, I have to wait twenty minutes before I attempt it again."

"I'll consider that a compliment. Thank you."

"Magic is a little like sex. It's always more special the first time."

"I don't do re-runs."

"It's against the rules of my cult."

Quote:

My brother/friend/dad is a magican too.

"Wow, that is sooooo interesting."

Well, that's what I want to say. What I really do is take an interest in what they're saying.

Quote:

Can you make my wife disappear?

Sorry sir, but even magic has weight limits.

Ashles · 14th April 2009, 04:24 PM

(When you fail a trick) That's proof magic or ESP doesn't exist.
I see sir/madam has their own powers of magic supression. Is sir/madam completely in league wih the devil?

Later we'll both look back on this and laugh. When I control your mind.

Have you seen The Prestiege/The Illusionist?
Have you seen Highlander? Sean Connery playing an Egyptian dressed as an Elizabethan with a Spanish name speaking with a Scottish accent asking a Frenchman playing a Scot "What is a Haggis?"
Now that's suspension of disbelief.

Yes I have. Have you seen Morons who shout during performances? I think you'd love it.

I wouldn't wanna play cards with you.
The offer wasn't on the table.

Maybe you would do well, I haven't played Snap in years.

That's such a shame. I shall cancel our trip to Monte Carlo.

Do another trick!
What are you, my pimp?

Sir when people order a second Big Mac from you, surely they at least usually add the word 'Please'?

(When walking into a place where people know you as "the magic guy") Hey, it's the magic guy!
(Hard to beat the gorlfriends line)

(After springing cards, doing Daryl's hot shot, card vanish, etc) How long did it take you to do that?
You mean you can't?

Do that again!
Sir is right to request repetition. I understand that was the exact same cry that went up from the crowd after Malcolm X made his "I have a dream" speech

My brother/friend/dad is a magican too.
How ironic! My brother/friend/dad is an unemployed, unattractive heckler too.

Bob Klase · 14th April 2009, 04:43 PM

Originally Posted by Ashles

Do that again!
Sir is right to request repetition. I understand that was the exact same cry that went up from the crowd after Malcolm X made his "I have a dream" speech

I'm not sure if you meant to say Martin Luther King or maybe I'm missing the humor in attributing the 'I have a dream' speech to Malcolm X.

thaiboxerken · 15th April 2009, 05:54 PM

Do it again!

The first time is magic, the second time a puzzle...

Gagglegnash · 15th April 2009, 09:01 PM

Hi

"I wouldn't wanna play cards with you.
[I need a witty response for this one]."

"Neither would I! Houdini said that a stage magician shouldn't play cards: 'If you win, you cheated. If you lose, you're a terrible magician.'"

Lonewulf · 16th April 2009, 04:10 AM

Originally Posted by DrugFreeAlcoholic

Have you seen The Prestiege/The Illusionist?
[I need a witty response for this one]. So far I've been saying "Yeah... now stop asking me!" in a jocular tone.

"I thought I did, but it was an illusion!"

NoZed Avenger · 16th April 2009, 08:15 AM

Quote:

Have you seen The Prestiege/The Illusionist?

Are you kidding? I have a 5 year old and a nine year old. The only movies I get to see have either puppets or dancing animals.

I keep telling them "If an animal is dancing, it means: RABIES. But do they listen?"

thaiboxerken · 17th April 2009, 06:33 AM

Speaking of Prestige and Illusionist... did anyone else think those movies absolutely sucked the big one?

Senex · 17th April 2009, 12:33 PM

Originally Posted by Cain

That Kathy Griffen heckler takedown has been used in comedy clubs for decades.

I'll admit I knew that but I was surprised to hear it on CNN.

I appreciated the posts from you and others. Many of them are more aggressive then I am usually comfortable using in real life -- but I will remember some of these and use them if someone deserves an aggressive reply.

Z · 17th April 2009, 12:43 PM

"My father/uncle/brother is a magician, too."

Really? Can you get him to show me how to do [trick you failed at earlier]? I can never get the elephant to appear on cue...

Lonewulf · 17th April 2009, 01:03 PM

Originally Posted by thaiboxerken

Speaking of Prestige and Illusionist... did anyone else think those movies absolutely sucked the big one?

Really? I liked The Illusionist.

Bob Klase · 17th April 2009, 08:07 PM

Originally Posted by Lonewulf

Really? I liked The Illusionist.

Strange, I liked The Prestige better. I'd read the book a couple years earlier so I didn't have so much trouble following the plot, but I could see where many others didn't really know what was going on.

Lonewulf · 17th April 2009, 08:32 PM

I didn't see The Prestige at all, so I dunno?

thatguywhojuggles · 27th April 2009, 06:08 PM

When I'm juggling:

"How long have you been juggling?"

(look at my watch)

"Oh, about 4 and a half minutes."

Ian Osborne · 28th April 2009, 05:46 AM

(In response to a persistent heckler)

"I see the [name of local newspaper] theatre critic is here."

Rasmus · 28th April 2009, 06:12 AM

Originally Posted by DrugFreeAlcoholic

(When you drop a card) That's all part of the act! (Got it from Bill Malone)

(When you fail a trick) That's proof magic or ESP doesn't exist. [Not sure if this is a good one]

That's okay. If it'd work every time nobody would realize how difficult it is.

Quote:

I wouldn't wanna play cards with you.
[I need a witty response for this one].

Nobody does. I'd be at the tables in Vegas instead of doing this show.
(Works better if you have a show in Vegas, I guess...)

Quote:

Do another trick!
[I'd like to, but by complying with this request, it seems that it's not you who's in charge. Esp. if they tell you to do a trick for a friend who just arrived. I need a way to reframe it so I still hold the leadership position.]

Tell them you're not a circus animal and that you can't be ordered around. Tell them you will do the same trick again (or one as before) and show a variation of that trick with a different end/effect?

Quote:

(When walking into a place where people know you as "the magic guy") Hey, it's the magic guy!
[Need an entertaining, witty response to this one too.]

That's branding, eh? By the way, the name's Mike.

Quote:

(After springing cards, doing Daryl's hot shot, card vanish, etc) How long did it take you to do that?
[Also don't have a witty response for this one.]

Do they ask you how long it took you to do that, or how long it took you to learn that?

If the second,
A lot longer than I want you to think it did.

(I've seen Richard Wiseman in London letting a coin dissapear from his hand. He explained along the lines "So, you spend 6 week practising how to move your left hand like this, and then another 6 weeks practising how to withdraw your right hand like that. - And unless you live a really, really pathetic existence, those won't be the 2 most exciting months of your life.")

Do that again!
I charge for the 2nd time. OR Hey I'm not free, you know.

My brother/friend/dad is a magican too.
[I encounter this every now and then. Need a cool response for it.[/quote]

Rasmus · 28th April 2009, 06:17 AM

Originally Posted by thaiboxerken

Speaking of Prestige and Illusionist... did anyone else think those movies absolutely sucked the big one?

I've just seen Prestige on the telly and yes, it did.

Why, why, why did they have to introduce real magic in the end and spoil it all?

Rasmus · 28th April 2009, 06:23 AM

Originally Posted by DrugFreeAlcoholic

My brother/friend/dad is a magican too.
[I encounter this every now and then. Need a cool response for it.

I'm sorry, but those are all the tricks I've got. If you think it's boring try not to ruin it for everybody else. (That's my job!)

RobertlewisIR · 29th April 2009, 04:15 AM

I've used witty remarks several times, but always felt somewhat concerned that in doing so, I risk alienating my audience. An idea I've been playing with lately is to work their cliched comment into a magical effect. It's an idea based on a trick by Eric Lecleric, and I've modified it to fit my own style, but basically it ends with the spectator reading a prediction such as "The guy who says he wouldn't want to play cards with me will select the seven of hearts."

It answers the comment without alienating anyone and adds an extra little "bang" to the effect.

MikeSun5 · 30th April 2009, 09:15 PM

Originally Posted by DrugFreeAlcoholic

(When you fail a trick) That's proof magic or ESP doesn't exist. [Not sure if this is a good one]

That one's hilarious. I'm stealing it.

When someone asks me how I did a trick, I usually ask how they thought I did it. Whatever they say, I tell them they're exactly right. Unless it's a kid, then I say "magic." They usually buy that.

If someone asks me a question I don't have a snappy answer to, my go-to response is, "I made you say that. Using magic." Then make some corny exaggerated Jeff McBride-style hand gesture.

Robert Oz · 6th May 2009, 08:42 PM

Originally Posted by DrugFreeAlcoholic

How did you do that?

It's all done with mirrors.

Originally Posted by DrugFreeAlcoholic

Do another trick! [or] Do that again!

I would, but my powers are drained.

themagicwand · 7th May 2009, 01:02 AM

None of you guys are professional magicians, right?

Bob Klase · 7th May 2009, 05:37 AM

Originally Posted by themagicwand

None of you guys are professional magicians, right?

Depends on what you consider "professional".

MikeSun5 · 20th May 2009, 11:16 PM

Originally Posted by themagicwand

None of you guys are professional magicians, right?

every. single. one of us.

I do this bit where I expose a whole bunch of tricks. $500 per hour.

vIQleS · 22nd May 2009, 04:48 PM

Originally Posted by DrugFreeAlcoholic

How did you do that?

"I have no idea - it's probably quantum..."

or just (for skeptics, or woos who know you're a skeptic):

"It's quantum"

Originally Posted by DrugFreeAlcoholic

Have you seen The Prestiege/The Illusionist?

"Yeah - have you seen Forrest Gump?" (I just thought of this. I don't know if anyone would get it...)

Originally Posted by DrugFreeAlcoholic

I wouldn't wanna play cards with you.

I once made a comment like this to my friends and they said to me - "yeah, but if you knew any cool tricks re cheating with cards you'd have shown us already..."

Originally Posted by DrugFreeAlcoholic

(When walking into a place where people know you as "the magic guy") Hey, it's the magic guy!

"Hey - it's the retard..." (too harsh?)

Originally Posted by DrugFreeAlcoholic

(After springing cards, doing Daryl's hot shot, card vanish, etc) How long did it take you to do that?

"You don't want to know... "

"you know how normal people have girlfriends..."

Originally Posted by DrugFreeAlcoholic

Do that again!

"I don't feel strong tonight..."

vIQleS · 22nd May 2009, 05:00 PM

Originally Posted by Bob Klase

"Trick? TRICK! What do you mean trick? I do miracles, I create astonishment.... Okay, let me show you a trick."

http://threadpit.com/store/product.p...0&cat=0&page=1

MagicFan · 6th August 2009, 07:18 PM

Quote:
Can you make my wife disappear?
Sorry sir, but even magic has weight limits.

This is by far the most common one I hear, but it's not always the wife. Sometimes its sister, cousin, husband, child, etc. I like your response because it's all-purpose, and I don't really even have to see the person they're talking about!

Stray Cat · 13th August 2009, 09:48 AM

Originally Posted by DrugFreeAlcoholic

Have you seen The Prestiege/The Illusionist?
[I need a witty response for this one]. So far I've been saying "Yeah... now stop asking me!" in a jocular tone.

Hey, I'm glad you think I get paid enough for doing this to be able to take a night off at the movies.

Originally Posted by DrugFreeAlcoholic

I wouldn't wanna play cards with you.
[I need a witty response for this one].

(Pull out a replica handgun and say) How about Russian Roulette?
Would work for someone like Amazing Johnathan

Originally Posted by DrugFreeAlcoholic

Do another trick!
[I'd like to, but by complying with this request, it seems that it's not you who's in charge. Esp. if they tell you to do a trick for a friend who just arrived. I need a way to reframe it so I still hold the leadership position.]

How's about instead of that I involve you in a scientific experiment to determine the value of a randomly generated, printed object?... you know... pick a card!

Also the "Make my wife disappear" (which really isn't a nice thing to even joke about) can still be rescued with the response:
Yeah sure, I'll ask her to go out with me... they usually disappear quite quickly after that.

Merko · 14th August 2009, 12:46 PM

Originally Posted by Rasmus

Why, why, why did they have to introduce real magic in the end and spoil it all?

It's not magic, it's technology. Science fiction, you know. And they didn't introduce it in the end, it's pretty central to the story.

Now, I personally prefer the very 'hard' science fiction (where everything is completely believable) and I also was not too attracted by this element, but again, it is central to the story, and if you can muster at least a little suspension of disbelief, it definitely adds a lot.

As for the Illusionist, I enjoyed it as well, but I actually found it harder to 'believe' in. In the Prestige, it's just basically one piece of technology that you have to accept, but in the Illusionist there's that same feeling I get from some 'paranoia' movies. It's just not believable that anyone would be able to foresee everything so many steps in advance.

20th March 2009, 03:02 PM	#1
DrugFreeAlcoholic Student Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: $1 reject store Posts: 48	Witty Responses to Common Statements After doing magic for a long time, I'm running into these statements from people quite often, and I'd like to have witty responses to them. I also posted a few statements which I do have witty responses to (and I always use them too) Also, if you have common statements or situations that you encounter and have or want a witty response to it, please post it here and hopefully other magicans (or non-magicans) will help. Thanks! How did you do that? Very well, I thought. How did you do that? Can you keep a secret? Yeah. So can I. (When you drop a card) That's all part of the act! (Got it from Bill Malone) (When you fail a trick) That's proof magic or ESP doesn't exist. [Not sure if this is a good one] Have you seen The Prestiege/The Illusionist? [I need a witty response for this one]. So far I've been saying "Yeah... now stop asking me!" in a jocular tone. I wouldn't wanna play cards with you. [I need a witty response for this one]. Do another trick! [I'd like to, but by complying with this request, it seems that it's not you who's in charge. Esp. if they tell you to do a trick for a friend who just arrived. I need a way to reframe it so I still hold the leadership position.] (When walking into a place where people know you as "the magic guy") Hey, it's the magic guy! [Need an entertaining, witty response to this one too.] (After springing cards, doing Daryl's hot shot, card vanish, etc) How long did it take you to do that? [Also don't have a witty response for this one.] Do that again! I charge for the 2nd time. OR Hey I'm not free, you know. My brother/friend/dad is a magican too. [I encounter this every now and then. Need a cool response for it.
	Last edited by DrugFreeAlcoholic; 20th March 2009 at 03:04 PM.

23rd March 2009, 03:31 PM	#6
Senex Illuminator Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: An autobody repair shop in Connecticut Posts: 3,550	Here's a classic witty response to hecklers that I heard from Kathy Griffin. This past New Year's Eve I was sitting next to my dad in a hospital room taking in the New Year watching the ball drop in NYC. I was watching CNN and Anderson Cooper and Griffin were hosting train wreck TV on CNN. The one joke show was how inappropriate Kathy Griffin could get before blowing Cooper's proffesional persona. Cooper never did lose his cool but once when the live show came back from commercial we saw Cooper sitting in his chair and Griffin's butt because she was yelling over the back of the small set in Time's Square yelling at some of the the revelers... "Hey, do I go to where you work and knock the d**k out of your mouth?" She is classy when dealing with hecklers and and you can't copyright witty statements. Just use with care at children's shows
	__________________ I am the one who knocks! Walter White Last edited by Senex; 23rd March 2009 at 03:32 PM.

23rd March 2009, 09:43 PM	#7
Roma Master Poster Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Winnipeg, Canada Posts: 2,062	Sorry I can't stay it's time to feed the penguins.
	__________________ I only know what I want to know. Last edited by Roma; 23rd March 2009 at 09:52 PM.

11th April 2009, 08:37 AM	#8
Peter S. Magician Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Arlington, MA Posts: 864	(When you fail a trick) May we have a moment of silence for the trick that just died Do another trick! I'm sorry, I don't do requests. (After springing cards, doing Daryl's hot shot, card vanish, etc) How long did it take you to do that? A couple of hours of practice......Every day for about 8 years.
	__________________ Wil In Space Wil in the Haunted forest Please vote for Wil In Space HERE

14th April 2009, 01:23 PM	#9
Cain Straussian Join Date: May 2002 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 6,939	That Kathy Griffen heckler takedown has been used in comedy clubs for decades. It's sort of hackish. There's also, for a woman: "I don't go where you work, stand at the end of the bed, and tell you how it's done." For younger men you can set up the same joke, but with McDonald's and a mop. I prefer: "If I wanted an ** from you I'd squeeze your head." Anyway, I had been compiling a quite-long file filled with one-liners. I wish I would consult it more often to keep myself sharp. (David Spade allegedly flips through flash cards before going out on stage in order to sound witty when something unscripted happens). Unfortunately, I could not find the most organized up-to-date version. But here's some of the things I've managed to glean for the situations mentioned. This deals almost entirely with playing cards. The lines vary considerably in terms of quality: Originally Posted by DrugFreeAlcoholic** How did you do that? Very well, I thought. Pete McCabe has cautioned against using that line. Screw him. I prefer to say "Extremely well." Or: "slightly wrong, but no one noticed," which sounds humble, but could be taken as a little more dickish. Then there's: "Judging by your response, quite well." Also: "I'm just a vessel." "Magnets." Quote: (When you drop a card) "Everyone makes mistakes. My mother did." (Mark Lewis, I believe) "I mask my skill with sloppiness." "This is called 'misdirection.'" "A deserter!" is one Simon Lovell uses. I don't care for it. Quote: (When you fail a trick) "See, I will often imitate people who TRY to do what I do..." "Um, have I shown you the trick where [describe the previous trick you just performed]." Not one I use, but from Darwin Ortiz, specifically if you find the wrong card: "Well, at least the backs match." Quote: Have you seen The Prestiege/The Illusionist? I don't get asked this much. People do ramble on about David Blaine and Criss Angel though. My responses here are anti-social. I take no interest in what they're saying -- "bah" them, really -- and try to move on. I just have a low tolerance for this kind of thing. Bob's advice is best. I did actually stumble across a Dale Carnegie quote that, much as I hate it, seems to make sense. He's the author of the book business majors and Jehovah's Witnesses read: How to Win Friends and Influence People. He says the way to make friends is not to attract them to you with some ostentatious talent (such as, I dunno, sleight of hand), but to take an interest in them first, ask questions. And if you listen to people's encounters with celebrities, the most positive responses come from exactly this type of behavior: "She said she loved my dress, and asked me where I bought it." This is called being down to earth (or so I've been told). Quote: I wouldn't wanna play cards with you. "I've actually been banned from two casinos. One of them for gambling." (I think this is a Richard Osterlind line, and can only remember personally using it once, for one person. I dead panned it, and he asked, "So what casinos were you banned from?" Ugh.) Quote: Do another trick! I will usually say either "OK" or "not right now." "'Trick?' I don't do 'tricks'! Tricks are what whores do for money and cocaine." (Arrested Development) Quote: (When walking into a place where people know you as "the magic guy") Hey, it's the magic guy! Oh, great. (I do like that ex-girlfriends line from above.) Quote: (After springing cards, doing Daryl's hot shot, card vanish, etc) How long did it take you to do that? Pre-empt it. A line I've heard from Darwin Ortiz: "Did you know all the practice I've put I could have been a doctor?" After the laugh, stage whisper: "he said modestly." Also Darwin Ortiz: "This can be done by any 10 year-old... with thirty years of practice." Quote: Do that again! I ignore this sort of request and move on. I recommend only addressing it if people insist. Greg Wilson says (with enthusiasm) "You wanna see that again?" Crowd: "Yeah!" Wilson: "Bummer." "Well, like most men, I have to wait twenty minutes before I attempt it again." "I'll consider that a compliment. Thank you." "Magic is a little like sex. It's always more special the first time." "I don't do re-runs." "It's against the rules of my cult." Quote: My brother/friend/dad is a magican too. "Wow, that is sooooo interesting." Well, that's what I want to say. What I really do is take an interest in what they're saying. Quote: Can you make my wife disappear? Sorry sir, but even magic has weight limits.
	__________________ *Arrested Development* is coming back! Michael (to GOB): Get rid of the Seaward. Lucille: I’ll leave when I’m good and ready.

20th March 2009, 06:34 PM	#2
NoZed Avenger Bitter Whiner Join Date: Apr 2002 Posts: 11,313	Originally Posted by DrugFreeAlcoholic Hey, it's the magic guy! Hey, now. You can't believe everything my ex-girlfriends say. . . .that one's true, though.

21st March 2009, 08:12 AM	#3
Bob Klase Master Poster Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Largo, FL Posts: 2,833	Some of my general opinions on witty responses (not necessarily all directed at you, but your post raises the issue): Not all common statements require a witty response, particularly if you're not really a witty person. A lot of common questions are serious questions that deserve an real answer (which can sometimes be witty at the same time- or you can give a witty answer and immediately follow up with a serious one). A lot of magicians focus so much on having a snappy comeback that they come across as egotistical butts when the person asking the question is really trying to make conversation or is asking a real question that they're curious about. When someone asks a question like "how did you do that", they might like a real answer but they obviously don't expect one. But for other questions like "Have you seen The Prestiege/The Illusionist?", or "how long have you been doing magic" why not just answer "yes, what did you think of them?" (unless the same person keeps asking the same question). Originally Posted by DrugFreeAlcoholic (When you drop a card) "Good, gravity is still working." Originally Posted by DrugFreeAlcoholic (When you fail a trick) "That really sucks, doesn't it." "Guess that one still needs some more practice." "Hey, if they all worked I'd be David Copperfield (or David Blaine, Criss Angel, etc)" "Don't worry, if I was getting paid to perform I'd have done that right." Originally Posted by DrugFreeAlcoholic Have you seen The Prestiege/The Illusionist? "Yes, have you? What did you think of them." Originally Posted by DrugFreeAlcoholic I wouldn't wanna play cards with you. "I don't even like to play cards with me." "I can't play cards in Las Vegas either- they don't like poor people." Originally Posted by DrugFreeAlcoholic Do another trick! [I'd like to, but by complying with this request, it seems that it's not you who's in charge. Esp. if they tell you to do a trick for a friend who just arrived. I need a way to reframe it so I still hold the leadership position.] You might be confusing "being in control" with "being in charge" or "holding the leadership position". You don't want to leave the impression that you're a trained monkey that does tricks on demand, but a lot of the time people ask this because they like your magic, or the last trick you did gave them what Eugene Burger would call an "experience in magic" and they want to experience it again. In some instances a witty comment could damage the moment of astonishment. But if you feel a witty comment is appropriate you could try: "Trick? TRICK! What do you mean trick? I do miracles, I create astonishment.... Okay, let me show you a trick." Originally Posted by DrugFreeAlcoholic (When walking into a place where people know you as "the magic guy") Hey, it's the magic guy! For the right person, "hey, it's the drunk guy!". Originally Posted by DrugFreeAlcoholic (After springing cards, doing Daryl's hot shot, card vanish, etc) How long did it take you to do that? "About 2 seconds- sometimes I do it faster." I would follow this with a real answer (which doesn't necessarily mean the truth)- they're probably impressed and really wonder how long it took you to learn it. Originally Posted by DrugFreeAlcoholic My brother/friend/dad is a magican too. "Really? I'll bet he's (or she's) better than me." This is a win-win answer. If they're not better than you then you look humble. If they are better than you then you don't look like your ego is out of control.

21st March 2009, 03:58 PM	#4
DrugFreeAlcoholic Student Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: $1 reject store Posts: 48	Originally Posted by Bob Klase You might be confusing "being in control" with "being in charge" or "holding the leadership position". You don't want to leave the impression that you're a trained monkey that does tricks on demand The way I worded it was wrong, but not being the monkey that does tricks on demand is exactly what I was trying to avoid every time. I didn't want to seem like I was eagar to please them or that I really wanted and needed to please them. Maybe I'll also try "only if you buy me a drink first" if I feel they'll be compliant.

21st March 2009, 06:54 PM	#5
Bob Klase Master Poster Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Largo, FL Posts: 2,833	Originally Posted by DrugFreeAlcoholic Maybe I'll also try "only if you buy me a drink first" if I feel they'll be compliant. That could work, but it could sound a little like the town drunk ("will do tricks for booze"). I think I'd might go with something like "maybe later, I need to get a drink first... are you buying". That sounds (at least to me) less like you're willing to work for a drink and more like promising to do a trick later while offering them the opportunity to buy you a drink. Of course if they say 'no' when you ask if they're buying then you've committed to do magic later anyway, but I wouldn't think that's a big problem and you've maintained control.

14th April 2009, 04:24 PM	#10
Ashles Pith Artist Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: The '80s Posts: 8,711	(When you fail a trick) That's proof magic or ESP doesn't exist. I see sir/madam has their own powers of magic supression. Is sir/madam completely in league wih the devil? Later we'll both look back on this and laugh. When I control your mind. Have you seen The Prestiege/The Illusionist? Have you seen Highlander? Sean Connery playing an Egyptian dressed as an Elizabethan with a Spanish name speaking with a Scottish accent asking a Frenchman playing a Scot "What is a Haggis?" Now that's suspension of disbelief. Yes I have. Have you seen Morons who shout during performances? I think you'd love it. I wouldn't wanna play cards with you. The offer wasn't on the table. Maybe you would do well, I haven't played Snap in years. That's such a shame. I shall cancel our trip to Monte Carlo. Do another trick! What are you, my pimp? Sir when people order a second Big Mac from you, surely they at least usually add the word 'Please'? (When walking into a place where people know you as "the magic guy") Hey, it's the magic guy! (Hard to beat the gorlfriends line) (After springing cards, doing Daryl's hot shot, card vanish, etc) How long did it take you to do that? You mean you can't? Do that again! Sir is right to request repetition. I understand that was the exact same cry that went up from the crowd after Malcolm X made his "I have a dream" speech My brother/friend/dad is a magican too. How ironic! My brother/friend/dad is an unemployed, unattractive heckler too.
	__________________ With extraordinary few exceptions no educated person in the history of Western Civilization from the third century B.C. onward believed that the earth was flat. - Jeffrey Burton Russell No one "proved" that a bumblebee can't fly. What was shown was that a certain simple mathematical model wasn't adequate or appropriate - Ivars Peterson

14th April 2009, 04:43 PM	#11
Bob Klase Master Poster Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Largo, FL Posts: 2,833	Originally Posted by Ashles Do that again! Sir is right to request repetition. I understand that was the exact same cry that went up from the crowd after Malcolm X made his "I have a dream" speech I'm not sure if you meant to say Martin Luther King or maybe I'm missing the humor in attributing the 'I have a dream' speech to Malcolm X.

15th April 2009, 05:54 PM	#12
thaiboxerken Penultimate Amazing Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Portland, Oregon Posts: 20,993	Do it again! The first time is magic, the second time a puzzle...
	__________________ All national institutions of churches, whether Jewish, Christian or Turkish, appear to me no other than human inventions, set up to terrify and enslave mankind, and monopolize power & profit - Thomas Paine

15th April 2009, 09:01 PM	#13
Gagglegnash Graduate Poster Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 1,447	Hi "I wouldn't wanna play cards with you. [I need a witty response for this one]." "Neither would I! Houdini said that a stage magician shouldn't play cards: 'If you win, you cheated. If you lose, you're a terrible magician.'"
	__________________ But it does me no injury for my neighbor to say there are twenty gods or no God. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg. -----Thomas Jefferson, Notes on Virginia, 1782 Question with boldness even the existence of a god; because if there be one he must approve of the homage of reason more than that of blindfolded fear. -----Thomas Jefferson, Letter to Peter Carr, August 10, 1787

16th April 2009, 04:10 AM	#14
Lonewulf Humanistic Cyborg Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: San Antonio, Texas Posts: 10,380	Originally Posted by DrugFreeAlcoholic Have you seen The Prestiege/The Illusionist? [I need a witty response for this one]. So far I've been saying "Yeah... now stop asking me!" in a jocular tone. "I thought I did, but it was an illusion!"
	__________________ Writing.com Account

16th April 2009, 08:15 AM	#15
NoZed Avenger Bitter Whiner Join Date: Apr 2002 Posts: 11,313	Quote: Have you seen The Prestiege/The Illusionist? Are you kidding? I have a 5 year old and a nine year old. The only movies I get to see have either puppets or dancing animals. I keep telling them "If an animal is dancing, it means: RABIES. But do they listen?"

17th April 2009, 06:33 AM	#16
thaiboxerken Penultimate Amazing Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Portland, Oregon Posts: 20,993	Speaking of Prestige and Illusionist... did anyone else think those movies absolutely sucked the big one?
	__________________ All national institutions of churches, whether Jewish, Christian or Turkish, appear to me no other than human inventions, set up to terrify and enslave mankind, and monopolize power & profit - Thomas Paine

17th April 2009, 12:33 PM	#17
Senex Illuminator Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: An autobody repair shop in Connecticut Posts: 3,550	Originally Posted by Cain That Kathy Griffen heckler takedown has been used in comedy clubs for decades. I'll admit I knew that but I was surprised to hear it on CNN. I appreciated the posts from you and others. Many of them are more aggressive then I am usually comfortable using in real life -- but I will remember some of these and use them if someone deserves an aggressive reply.
	__________________ I am the one who knocks! Walter White

17th April 2009, 12:43 PM	#18
Z D.D.D. Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: In a den in my lair, on the edge of your mind. Posts: 9,166	"My father/uncle/brother is a magician, too." Really? Can you get him to show me how to do [trick you failed at earlier]? I can never get the elephant to appear on cue...
	__________________ Merry Yarglemas!

17th April 2009, 01:03 PM	#19
Lonewulf Humanistic Cyborg Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: San Antonio, Texas Posts: 10,380	Originally Posted by thaiboxerken Speaking of Prestige and Illusionist... did anyone else think those movies absolutely sucked the big one? Really? I liked The Illusionist.
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17th April 2009, 08:07 PM	#20
Bob Klase Master Poster Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Largo, FL Posts: 2,833	Originally Posted by Lonewulf Really? I liked The Illusionist. Strange, I liked The Prestige better. I'd read the book a couple years earlier so I didn't have so much trouble following the plot, but I could see where many others didn't really know what was going on.

17th April 2009, 08:32 PM	#21
Lonewulf Humanistic Cyborg Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: San Antonio, Texas Posts: 10,380	I didn't see The Prestige at all, so I dunno?
	__________________ Writing.com Account

27th April 2009, 06:08 PM	#22
thatguywhojuggles Resident Juggler Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Asheville, NC Posts: 1,338	When I'm juggling: "How long have you been juggling?" (look at my watch) "Oh, about 4 and a half minutes."
	__________________ \/\/ALTER Juggler-Artist-Atheist My Portfolio/ResumÃ© "Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by rulers as useful." -- Seneca the Younger (4? B.C. - 65 A.D.) "A lie goes half way around the world before the truth has a chance to get his pants on." - Winston Churchill.

28th April 2009, 05:46 AM	#23
Ian Osborne JREF Kid Tagger Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Wiltshire Posts: 6,383	(In response to a persistent heckler) "I see the [name of local newspaper] theatre critic is here."
	__________________ "Faith without doubt leads to moral arrogance, the eternal pratfall of the religiously convinced" - Joe Klein, Time magazine "The fact that some geniuses were laughed at does not imply that all who are laughed at are geniuses. They laughed at Columbus, they laughed at Fulton, they laughed at the Wright brothers. But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown." - Carl Sagan

28th April 2009, 06:12 AM	#24
Rasmus Philosopher Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 6,138	Originally Posted by DrugFreeAlcoholic (When you drop a card) That's all part of the act! (Got it from Bill Malone) (When you fail a trick) That's proof magic or ESP doesn't exist. [Not sure if this is a good one] That's okay. If it'd work every time nobody would realize how difficult it is. Quote: I wouldn't wanna play cards with you. [I need a witty response for this one]. Nobody does. I'd be at the tables in Vegas instead of doing this show. (Works better if you have a show in Vegas, I guess...) Quote: Do another trick! [I'd like to, but by complying with this request, it seems that it's not you who's in charge. Esp. if they tell you to do a trick for a friend who just arrived. I need a way to reframe it so I still hold the leadership position.] Tell them you're not a circus animal and that you can't be ordered around. Tell them you will do the same trick again (or one as before) and show a variation of that trick with a different end/effect? Quote: (When walking into a place where people know you as "the magic guy") Hey, it's the magic guy! [Need an entertaining, witty response to this one too.] That's branding, eh? By the way, the name's Mike. Quote: (After springing cards, doing Daryl's hot shot, card vanish, etc) How long did it take you to do that? [Also don't have a witty response for this one.] Do they ask you how long it took you to do that, or how long it took you to learn that? If the second, A lot longer than I want you to think it did. (I've seen Richard Wiseman in London letting a coin dissapear from his hand. He explained along the lines "So, you spend 6 week practising how to move your left hand like this, and then another 6 weeks practising how to withdraw your right hand like that. - And unless you live a really, really pathetic existence, those won't be the 2 most exciting months of your life.") Do that again! I charge for the 2nd time. OR Hey I'm not free, you know. My brother/friend/dad is a magican too. [I encounter this every now and then. Need a cool response for it.[/quote]
Rasmus Philosopher Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 6,138	__________________ "Well, the religious community could not just make it up." - JetLeg

28th April 2009, 06:17 AM	#25
Rasmus Philosopher Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 6,138	Originally Posted by thaiboxerken Speaking of Prestige and Illusionist... did anyone else think those movies absolutely sucked the big one? I've just seen Prestige on the telly and yes, it did. Why, why, why did they have to introduce real magic in the end and spoil it all?
Rasmus Philosopher Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 6,138	__________________ "Well, the religious community could not just make it up." - JetLeg

28th April 2009, 06:23 AM	#26
Rasmus Philosopher Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 6,138	Originally Posted by DrugFreeAlcoholic My brother/friend/dad is a magican too. [I encounter this every now and then. Need a cool response for it. I'm sorry, but those are all the tricks I've got. If you think it's boring try not to ruin it for everybody else. (That's my job!)
Rasmus Philosopher Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 6,138	__________________ "Well, the religious community could not just make it up." - JetLeg

29th April 2009, 04:15 AM	#27
RobertlewisIR Student Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Colorado Posts: 27	I've used witty remarks several times, but always felt somewhat concerned that in doing so, I risk alienating my audience. An idea I've been playing with lately is to work their cliched comment into a magical effect. It's an idea based on a trick by Eric Lecleric, and I've modified it to fit my own style, but basically it ends with the spectator reading a prediction such as "The guy who says he wouldn't want to play cards with me will select the seven of hearts." It answers the comment without alienating anyone and adds an extra little "bang" to the effect.

30th April 2009, 09:15 PM	#28
MikeSun5 Trigger Happy Pacifist, Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Florida, USA Posts: 1,877	Originally Posted by DrugFreeAlcoholic (When you fail a trick) That's proof magic or ESP doesn't exist. [Not sure if this is a good one] That one's hilarious. I'm stealing it. When someone asks me how I did a trick, I usually ask how they thought I did it. Whatever they say, I tell them they're exactly right. Unless it's a kid, then I say "magic." They usually buy that. If someone asks me a question I don't have a snappy answer to, my go-to response is, "I made you say that. Using magic." Then make some corny exaggerated Jeff McBride-style hand gesture.
	__________________ I always wondered if those WWJD bracelets worked, so I bought one. Well later, I was on a plane and this little kid was kicking my seat repeatedly, while his sister sang along with her walkman and their mother just sat there. I almost turned around and went off, and then I caught sight of my bracelet. What would Jesus do? So I lit them on fire and sent them all to Hell. --Daniel Tosh Last edited by MikeSun5; 30th April 2009 at 09:20 PM. Reason: quote

6th May 2009, 08:42 PM	#29
Robert Oz Graduate Poster Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Melbourne, Australia Posts: 1,435	Originally Posted by DrugFreeAlcoholic How did you do that? It's all done with mirrors. Originally Posted by DrugFreeAlcoholic Do another trick! [or] Do that again! I would, but my powers are drained.
	__________________ "I'll be back before you can say Antidisestablishmentarianism." - Blackadder

7th May 2009, 01:02 AM	#30
themagicwand New Blood Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 17	None of you guys are professional magicians, right?
themagicwand New Blood Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 17

7th May 2009, 05:37 AM	#31
Bob Klase Master Poster Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Largo, FL Posts: 2,833	Originally Posted by themagicwand None of you guys are professional magicians, right? Depends on what you consider "professional".

20th May 2009, 11:16 PM	#32
MikeSun5 Trigger Happy Pacifist, Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Florida, USA Posts: 1,877	Originally Posted by themagicwand None of you guys are professional magicians, right? every. single. one of us. I do this bit where I expose a whole bunch of tricks. $500 per hour.
	__________________ I always wondered if those WWJD bracelets worked, so I bought one. Well later, I was on a plane and this little kid was kicking my seat repeatedly, while his sister sang along with her walkman and their mother just sat there. I almost turned around and went off, and then I caught sight of my bracelet. What would Jesus do? So I lit them on fire and sent them all to Hell. --Daniel Tosh

22nd May 2009, 04:48 PM	#33
vIQleS Muse Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Auckland NZ Posts: 861	Originally Posted by DrugFreeAlcoholic How did you do that? "I have no idea - it's probably quantum..." or just (for skeptics, or woos who know you're a skeptic): "It's quantum" Originally Posted by DrugFreeAlcoholic Have you seen The Prestiege/The Illusionist? "Yeah - have you seen Forrest Gump?" (I just thought of this. I don't know if anyone would get it...) Originally Posted by DrugFreeAlcoholic I wouldn't wanna play cards with you. I once made a comment like this to my friends and they said to me - "yeah, but if you knew any cool tricks re cheating with cards you'd have shown us already..." Originally Posted by DrugFreeAlcoholic (When walking into a place where people know you as "the magic guy") Hey, it's the magic guy! "Hey - it's the retard..." (too harsh?) Originally Posted by DrugFreeAlcoholic (After springing cards, doing Daryl's hot shot, card vanish, etc) How long did it take you to do that? "You don't want to know... " "you know how normal people have girlfriends..." Originally Posted by DrugFreeAlcoholic Do that again! "I don't feel strong tonight..."
	__________________ ==--New NZ Skeptical Podcast--== http://thecusp.org.nz "vIQleS, Slap me. Slap me twice." - Foolmewunz Last edited by vIQleS; 22nd May 2009 at 05:03 PM.

22nd May 2009, 05:00 PM	#34
vIQleS Muse Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Auckland NZ Posts: 861	Originally Posted by Bob Klase "Trick? TRICK! What do you mean trick? I do miracles, I create astonishment.... Okay, let me show you a trick." http://threadpit.com/store/product.p...0&cat=0&page=1
	__________________ ==--New NZ Skeptical Podcast--== http://thecusp.org.nz "vIQleS, Slap me. Slap me twice." - Foolmewunz

6th August 2009, 07:18 PM	#35
MagicFan Student Join Date: Sep 2001 Posts: 26	Quote: Can you make my wife disappear? Sorry sir, but even magic has weight limits. This is by far the most common one I hear, but it's not always the wife. Sometimes its sister, cousin, husband, child, etc. I like your response because it's all-purpose, and I don't really even have to see the person they're talking about!
MagicFan Student Join Date: Sep 2001 Posts: 26	__________________ Never underestimate the power of wishful thinking.