September Stundie Finals

[Travis]

Well, events tried to conspire to keep me from being able to do this months Stundie Finals but I bested them! "Take that personal drama!"

So, first off. Last months winner:

"I don't understand why the CIT guys have to insist on there being a plane of any kind when all the witnesses testimony support a missile. Apart from the fact that they say it was a plane."


Congratulations!



Now onto the 28th Annual Stundie Award Finals for September, 2009.

1) I, for one, welcome our new Hologram Overlords.

Quote:

Whatever you fight, you become. Resistance is futile, b/c think of what you are doing... fighting against a hologram. Does it really matter if the hologram is "evil" or "good"? In the end, whether you enjoy your time here overall in this holgraphic frequency is more important than who's controlling the world.

*****
2) Who ever heard of severed columns and displaced fire proofing having anything to do with a structural collapse?

Quote:

You don't need explosives; you just need heat, apparently. Lest we forget, the plane's impacts, other than providing the heat source, had nothing to do with the collapses.

*****
3) Well, we all know they've been testing new airliners for non-explosions when hitting skyscrapers at the speed of sound for decades.

Quote:

I am also suspicious of the "explode on impact" scenario in that modern aircraft are designed to NOT burst into flames upon crashing! however on 9/11/2001 we have THREE crashes where all three demonstrate the "explode on impact" behavior.... VERY STRANGE!

*****
4) Note to educated experts: the Earth is flat, it's totally "intuitively obvious." And don't say I'm wrong because I have no proof or fancy complex equations, that's so "appealing to authority."

Quote:

wrong, you're asking me to present complex physics equations to prove something very basic and intuitively obvious. Only a physicist would be able to do this, thus you're implying that only a qualified physicist is entitled to comment on this matter thus you're appealing to authority

*****
5) If only someone had thought to put "special ingredients" in vaccines in order to confer viral immunity before this.

Quote:

How to get rid of conspiracy nuts!!!

Put about the rumour that the swine flu vaccine is deadly and it should not be taken and let it spread to all of the truther forums.

Then add a special ingredient to the vaccine to protect against a killer virus you intend to release to get rid of all the nonsense people in the world eg in Africa etc and let the conspiracy nuts go down with them!!!!

Problem solved !!!!

*****
6) The dude down on the corner screaming about how Reaganomics is stealing the babies of Martians totally thinks he's right too.

Quote:

Nope - paranoid would be if I was WRONG. Which i am not in my mind. That's the same as me telling you, that you actually are a sheep. You don't believe in that, so, in your mind, you're not.

*****
7) People need to understand that it's just not nice to use evidence to undermine other peoples ideas. Can't we just accept that everyone is right about whatever they believe?

Quote:

I used to put up lots of links until I realized I was being asked for them so they could be followed up on and destroyed. My claim is that TNT produces light waves all the way into the x-ray spectrum of frequencies and I am your source. Now, go ahead and try refuting that with a counterclaim that makes sense.

****
8) This guy needs to sell his wondrous telescope to NASA, find out how much it costs to buy Megan Fox these days and retire to the Italian Riviera. I mean, what's the big deal?

Quote:

Maybe I can clear something up here if CT's would take the time and money but...

...I currently possess a high-powered telescope in my backyard, purchased when my father left the military, and with it if the Moon is full and close enough, you can see the American Flag and the base of the Lunar Lander used to settle on the moon.

So I don't know what the big deal is. They landed on the moon - yay. So did the Russians at one point.

What's the big deal?

*****
9) Stupid⁹ = whatever Alex Jones was babbling about.

Quote:

For the people who dont actually know what Alex Jones is talking about, remember this
09/09/09 is 9 to the 9th power of 9

*****
10) It's good to know that, apparently, the planes sliced right through the WTC towers, encountering the entirety of their mass in the process, yet emerged, with all the passengers unscathed, on the other side.

Quote:

I would suggest you get yourself a thunderbird, floor that sucker to 150 miles an hour and drive it right into a big semi or dump truck since you don't believe the laws of physics.
If a 140 ton aluminum airplane can go through a 500,000 ton steel and concrete building like a knife through butter, a one ton thunderbird should have no problem cutting right through a 3-4 ton truck.

*****
11) It's sad to see that someone has failed to watch Crimson Tide at some point in their life.

Quote:

If the atom bomb was anything more than wishful thinking we could imagine a submarine commander going rogue and pounding any nation on the planet back to the stone age, maybe most of them, to smitherines with only the firepower onboard. The rogue sub could launch from the continental shelf of the US for example and knock out her command centres with lightning fast nuclear strikes. The sub would strike one city, submerge, reappear at a more northern position on the coastline and strike again with apparent impunity. Then they could go around the continent and strike the other coasts with as much fury. The reason this has never occured is because the atom bomb claims are bogus.

*****
12) Strange for Boeing to design a plane that will fall apart at about half of it's officially rated cruising speed.

Quote:

Before going into all those Nist type calculations You should have applied common sense . - Find out how exactly they were built , --> that B 767- 200 was 3,000 times less in mass than the building and 10 more fragile than average car , --> that its maximum speed could NOT have been higher than 250 mph (otherwise it would have fallen apart before reaching the 'target) and . . . realize , that any of these towers could have taken 10 , 20 or 30 of those boings from any side at any height and remain standing.

*****
13) So, Roswell was a hoax perpetrated in 1947 to eventually discredit a movement of people that wouldn't emerge until 2001. Those NWO types are really into the long range planning.

Quote:

Why I believe the UFO phenomenon is a hoax to make 911 truthers look bad

To all, I see this topic come up enough that I think that it should be addressed in a formal thread based soley on the topic and how it relates to the NWO. I hope to prove in as much as we can that the UFO phenomenon is a hoax perpetrated by the NWO 911 perps in order to make 911 truthers look bad by grouping us in with those that "believe in flying saucers". Note, I am not claiming that there are no sightings of UFOs but rather they are man-made whether they be actual flying craft or holograms. The hoax is also 3-fold;

1. They, UFOs, are using as an NWO scaremongering tool by providing the "external threat" that Henry Kissinger and Ronald Reagen, as well as others 'warned' us of.

2. UFOs are also used to group 911 truthers in with "crazies who believe we are being invaded with alieans".

3. UFOs can also be used as cover for top-secret military craft that the public is not to know about. Blame any sightings of secret projects on "UFOs".

*****
14) More evidence that prefix "nano" has become completely meaningless as well as serving as a nice red flag for lunacy.

Quote:

A friend of hers works for a pharmaceutical company in Vienna and told her that the swine flu injection needles indeed contain nano particles in their very tip, which cannot be detected with the naked eye but are clearly visible with as little as a 12 times magnifying microscope like children’s toy microscopes.

*****
15) Webcams: the future of spying! If you ignore the fact that it can disabled by something as low tech as a strip of electrical tape.

Quote:

I'm pretty sure that most of you are aware that by now, the market is flushed with ultra cheap, ultra portable netbook computers. Most come with a web cam to spy on you, plus there is a high possibility the books may emit a GPS tracking signal. Also, beware the Netbook's mind-controlling and/or conditioning implication through bad vibrational frequencies. For instance, take the standard Netbook screen resolution: 1024 x 600. This is an oddity since, the standard screen resolution at 1024 should be 1024 x 768.

Some maths on these numbers:

1024 x 600 = 614400.
6 x 14400 = 86400.
8 x 6400 = 51200.
5 x 1200 = 6000.

What do 6, 12, 64, and 144 all have in common? They're all numerology used by the Illuminati! Remember, all the time that you spend on your Netbook, you are staring at those subliminal numbers through the screen display.

*****
16) But what if the Strawey Strawman Scarecrow (filled with straw) is the one behind the unreasonable fear of vaccines? cue head explosion scene from Scanners!

Quote:

People are convinced that Vaccines may cause Autism and the medical profession says that is a Strawman argument against vaccination. I would say this is like finding a Haystack in the Needle! The public is reassured now by a slightly different straw man who stuffed their scrubs with straw, as if the very Scarecrow themselves inject fear yet simultaneously state that there is nothing to fear. I personally would rather err on the side of caution.

*****
17) So this is what really went wrong at Chernobyl. Also, why would anyone hoax Pangea?

Quote:

I expose Jew science hoaxes such as Pangea, Big Bang, Peak Oil and show how Earth alters its size over time, and the Universe is infinite in all 4 dimensions (well I have still to complete that section). I also suggest a unifying field for strong nuclear force and 'superluminal' light shifting of quasars etc. So all in all the thread is not exactly what you would call limited in its scope.

However none of these revelations is likely to put the wind up the Judaic Mafia as much as proving by simple means understandable to any sentient being e = mc2 is a hoax. The ramifications of this will rip the fabric of the space-time, dislodging the Jew controllers of Earthship Hoax.

*****
18) I am so trademarking "Kill Yourself Slowly And Don't Know What Hit You Beverage." KYSADKWHYB! Rumsfeld approved!

Quote:

Even though it was a rather calm and trouble free, this day was rather unique because of high NWO sponsored activity around the city. Around the corner we had Diet Coke promoters. We had people walking by with bottles and some with cases of (Dr.?) Donald Rumsfeld approved "kill yourself slow and don't know what hit you" beverages. And across the street at Dundas Square we had the International Film Festival promoting death culture. They were showing footage of the Toronto zombie march and later some old horror movie. Some of the audience where dressed up like zombies.

So here were are, handing out flyers, warning people of dangers of vaccines and other evil NWO deeds and, here we have; zombies all over the place, walking around within the public on a normal day(September 12) like its Halloween. Meanwhile they just discussed "Mass Fatality Management" etc. at the International Swine Flu Conference(August 20).

*****
19) If only we could have places where cattle and swine are purposely bred and raised for eventual consumption.

Quote:

The leaders are stupid because if we cutt down everyones food supply so everyone can equally get thier vitimens and minerals there would be no hungury humans.

we are eating to much cows and pigs, so much that we are eating untill they go to extinct.

****
20) Note to self: don't call someone "dumbass" if I'm just making up stuff on the fly.

Quote:

Sound is carried by convection currents
Heat causes rising convection currents called thermals.
Explosions cause heat, which causes thermals, which are rising convection currents.
Sound from explosions will be carried on rising convection currents.
Sound from explosions rise, not fall.
Got that mattfactsof911?
Dumbass!

[Travis]

Damnit, that extra 19 for option 18 wasn't there when I previewed it!

What the hell?

[Sabrina]

6, 7, and 20.

Stundielicious, every one!

[twinstead]

I gotta go with 15. My laptop just told me to.

[catsmate1]

Well I had to go with 15, amongst others, because I'm typing this on a netbook. With a webcam.......
I must be under someone's mental control.

[Horatius]

18 because he's convinced that every single aspect of our culture is a tool of the NWO, 20 for the arrogant ignorance, and 8, just because it shows you can also use stupid arguments in order to believe we went to the Moon. Irrationality knows no bounds.

[tuc0]

A very fine selection this month, reaching almost majestic levels of stupidity.

[Sledge]

7 is wrong in so many ways I had to vote for it.

[timhau]

Originally Posted by tuc0

A very fine selection this month, reaching almost majestic levels of stupidity.

I disagree. Yes, there's a lot of stupid, but it can't compare to the fine smorgasbords of fail that we were served in August and July.

[carlitos]

18 for sure. Black Krishna is really growing on me.

[Travis]

Originally Posted by Sledge

7 is wrong in so many ways I had to vote for it.

It isn't often people try to defend their lack of defense.

Originally Posted by timhau

I disagree. Yes, there's a lot of stupid, but it can't compare to the fine smorgasbords of fail that we were served in August and July.

I think September suffered from the whole Charlie Sheen fake interview debacle which sucked a lot of energy from the lunatic crowd.

[Sledge]

Originally Posted by Travis

It isn't often people try to defend their lack of defense.

It's also the idea that by not proving your claim, no one can prove you wrong. Brilliant! In a stupid way.

[Agatha]

8, because it's such an obvious lie.

17, because "well, I still have to complete that section" was howlingly funny.

18, because the stupid is so very strong with that one.

[tuc0]

Originally Posted by timhau

I disagree. Yes, there's a lot of stupid, but it can't compare to the fine smorgasbords of fail that we were served in August and July.

Not sure why but I really like September better. Lots of diversity, numerology, denying of science, badly spelled non sequiturs and even some conspiracy crossovers. Maybe I'm just exactly the kind of stoned to appreciate the lunacy.

[Furcifer]

12,15,17

12 because it's the worst case of extrapolation ever. Truther logic at its finest.

15 because I'm partial to anything with teh maths.

17 because Super Continents scare me too.

I thought this was a pretty funny month. I'm curious what percent of these came from JREF or other forums? It seems like this level of stupidity had to come from outside sources.

[Sam.I.Am]

I had to go with 20 and 11 (obviously). There were so many things wrong in that one paragraph that I don't even know where to begin.

[Elizabeth I]

Can I vote for Number 7 twenty times? Please please please please please please PLEEEEEASE?

[patchbunny]

#20 for the win. Now, if they would just explain to me why gunfire is so loud...

[Travis]

Originally Posted by 3bodyproblem

I thought this was a pretty funny month. I'm curious what percent of these came from JREF or other forums? It seems like this level of stupidity had to come from outside sources.

I'd say only about 30% are local. Most of this months finalists came from the Stundie Breeding Farm over at the Icke Forums.

Originally Posted by Elizabeth I

Can I vote for Number 7 twenty times? Please please please please please please PLEEEEEASE?

Yeah, I wish I could too. I'd love for someone to try that in a University.

Originally Posted by patchbunny

#20 for the win. Now, if they would just explain to me why gunfire is so loud...

No fires around, duh. If someone shoots a gun on the other side of a bonfire it is silent.

[apathoid]

This is the first month that I can not even begin separate the contenders from the pretenders...I'll be back later to try again. Yikes

[Dr Adequate]

I'm going to have to think about this one. This has been a bonanza month, which is why I'm going to forgive Travis for not posting my own entries, rather than hunting him down and killing him as would be my usual custom.

[Dave Rogers]

I think number 20 is a strong favourite this month, because it exemplifies the classic, heady brew of ignorance, arrogance and stupidity that the awards are all about.

Kudos, by the way, Travis, for your numbering this month; specifically, which item you chose to put at number 9.

Dave

[Travis]

I still laugh out loud whenever I read #9 too.

I almost overlooked #20. I had finished, I thought, and went back through to double check the nomination thread and spotted it. Unfortunately one Dr Adequate's noms got bumped for it.

[Dave Rogers]

Originally Posted by Travis

I still laugh out loud whenever I read #9 too.

It's funny, yes, but I particularly appreciated the irony that a statement about the mystical properties of the number nine should be Stundie candidate #9.

Dave

[Travis]

Originally Posted by Dave Rogers

It's funny, yes, but I particularly appreciated the irony that a statement about the mystical properties of the number nine should be Stundie candidate #9.

Dave

Yes, that was deliberate. I think it was #12 originally.

[Elizabeth I]

Originally Posted by patchbunny

#20 for the win. Now, if they would just explain to me why gunfire is so loud...

Originally Posted by Travis

No fires around, duh. If someone shoots a gun on the other side of a bonfire it is silent.

I thought it was because a gun is pointed sideways instead of straight up into the sky. That would let the convection currents fall out and spill all over the place, carrying the sound with them.

If you fired a gun straight up, I bet you couldn't hear it.

[Klimax]

1,15 and 20...

[TokenMac]

I kind of like #7 more than my #20, but I'll still take the win

[Furcifer]

Originally Posted by Travis

I'd say only about 30% are local. Most of this months finalists came from the Stundie Breeding Farm over at the Icke Forums.

Ahhh. In two separate threads (one about reptilian overlords and one about Freemen) this Icke character came to mention.

It comes as no surprise then that said forum is a breeding ground for the stunderific. For anyone here that isn't familiar I suggest you check it out. It's hilarious.

[bob_cadaver]

I'm into number five today; I love this bit here:

add a special ingredient to the vaccine to protect against a killer virus

[Travis]

Originally Posted by bob_cadaver

I'm into number five today; I love this bit here:

add a special ingredient to the vaccine to protect against a killer virus

Yes. The concept of what a vaccine is has been lost on the paranoid crowd.

[ihaunter]

Usually only vote for one or two nominations each month. This time I voted for five of them, and I had to think for a while to whittle it down that much. 6,7,8,9,20.

[apathoid]

After a long period of deliberation, I've whittled it down to 3,7,8,12,15, and 20. That was tough.

[Travis]

Originally Posted by apathoid

After a long period of deliberation, I've whittled it down to 3,7,8,12,15, and 20. That was tough.

Now you're voting like how I always end up voting.