Sending the Jehovah's Witnesses packing

CSSMariner · 5th January 2003, 04:26 PM

I had two of that "Kingdon Hall" witnessing crowd show up uninvited at my front door again Saturday. I pretended to have been rousted from a deep sleep and opened my door nude while rubbing my eyes and yawning. That seemed to work. Does anyone have any more creative ideas if another pair returns?

Does anyone have a clever method of tossing a stick into the bicycle spokes of the pedaling profits out of Utah when they come by? I am tired of being evangelized at my front door.

c4ts · 5th January 2003, 05:52 PM

Buy a neon green long haired wig. When the missionaries come a knockin', put on the wig and speak in falsetto. Affectionately call to someone named "Biff" and mention things like missing leather bondage thongs and combat assault rifles. If they continue to persist, explain that you don't speak English and shout gibberish at the missionaries.

shemp · 5th January 2003, 05:56 PM

My father likes to argue with them while jabbing his finger at them and acting menacing, forcing them to back away. He doesn't stop till they get to the street.

I have never had the "pleasure" of their visits. I did get a couple of old ladies from some fundamentalist church a few years back. I simply acted menacing and used a few choice words like "deranged," "liars," and "scum," and they hopped back in their car and left. I have not been bothered since. Perhaps word gets around.

shemp · 5th January 2003, 05:58 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by c4ts
Buy a neon green long haired wig. When the missionaries come a knockin', put on the wig and speak in falsetto. Affectionately call to someone named "Biff" and mention things like missing leather bondage thongs and combat assault rifles. If they continue to persist, explain that you don't speak English and shout gibberish at the missionaries.

Do you consider this to be unusual behavior? I do this stuff all the time, especially when I'm with my imaginary friends.

5th January 2003, 06:03 PM

this is what I do...

I tell them I'm an atheist, and think the notion of invisible beings with omniscient powers is silly. I tell them I don't want to be preached to, but I'm open to discussion on the subject of theism in general.

Very often they will leave. There was one group with a really cute woman... but that didn't go anywhere of course. Nowhere but out the door.

Be nice to 'em if they don't get on your nerves... represent atheism well. You probably won't counteract the brainwashing but it's worth a try, right?

c4ts · 5th January 2003, 06:13 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by shemp

Do you consider this to be unusual behavior? I do this stuff all the time, especially when I'm with my imaginary friends.

Yes, but this is Salt Lake here. Act like that and people will just assume you're from Park City (or Mars). Fortunately, unusual behavior seems to work as a ward against LDS members. I got to see the ugly picture of Jesus in Castle Mormon without a single missionary bothering me. I dyed my hair bright orange and convinced my friend to dress like a hare krishna (he carried a tambourine and wore a bedsheet), and NOBODY wanted to go near either of us. The mural was so bad, it wasn't even worth the effort.

CSSMariner · 5th January 2003, 06:33 PM

I went through Salt Lake City three times in December. On the way from Fort Lauderdale to Alaska for a project, once again on the way from Alaska to San Diego for another project, and again on the way back from San Diego to Fort Lauderdale. In Salt Lake City I was waiting for the flight and noticed a drop dead gorgeous sweet young thing of about college age reading a book.

There were two open seats, one on each side of her, so I grabbed one before some other lecherous old bastard like me took it. Then a clean looking young lad about her age sat down and they were obviously friends. I struck up a conversation with the two of them while admiring the lady as unobtrusively as possible.

I discovered that both of them were headed home to Dallas, which was the next stop on the way to Florida, and both of them were on the way from Idaho. It turned out that both were LDS and were in school at a LDS operation in Idaho. I said I thought only zonked-out retreatists lived in the woods of Idaho and they pretty much agreed. I asked about the pedaling prophet bit, and they said both of them also did their duty at the pedals early in their novice years, and I was floored. Now if she had shown up at my front door, I would have had to listen just to be allowed to look at her for as long as she wanted to stay.

c4ts · 5th January 2003, 06:40 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by CSSMariner
I went through Salt Lake City three times in December. On the way from Fort Lauderdale to Alaska for a project, once again on the way from Alaska to San Diego for another project, and again on the way back from San Diego to Fort Lauderdale. In Salt Lake City I was waiting for the flight and noticed a drop dead gorgeous sweet young thing of about college age reading a book.

There were two open seats, one on each side of her, so I grabbed one before some other lecherous old bastard like me took it. Then a clean looking young lad about her age sat down and they were obviously friends. I struck up a conversation with the two of them while admiring the lady as unobtrusively as possible.

I discovered that both of them were headed home to Dallas, which was the next stop on the way to Florida, and both of them were on the way from Idaho. It turned out that both were LDS and were in school at a LDS operation in Idaho. I said I thought only zonked-out retreatists lived in the woods of Idaho and they pretty much agreed. I asked about the pedaling prophet bit, and they said both of them also did their duty at the pedals early in their novice years, and I was floored. Now if she had shown up at my front door, I would have had to listen just to be allowed to look at her for as long as she wanted to stay.

But that never acutally happens, does it? It's always the blonde guy with the crue cut and the funny upturned nose.

CSSMariner · 5th January 2003, 06:48 PM

I have never had one, or for that matter two, of the LDS whatever they are called stop by, but the ones I do see on the streets in South Florida are always dudes. I wonder where they send the cuties????? Not here, I suppose they are afraid some recruiter for a South American drug lord or a Middle East sheik will snatch them off the street and export them.

All the lads are always trim, which I suppose is normal enough from pedaling that nefarious volume (bible) around all the time. I was trim too when I was pedaling a hundred miles a week, then I was hit by a woman driver in a rush to get to work, and the rest is history.

BroodingSkill · 5th January 2003, 06:50 PM

I just don't answer the door. That seems to work fine for me, after a while they take the hint and just stop coming.

CSSMariner · 5th January 2003, 06:56 PM

I see it as a challenge and good sport. Baiting those folks is just plain fun.

shemp · 5th January 2003, 07:25 PM

Of course, there's another tactic. Try to convert them to some other religion. Keep a copy of the Koran or the Torah around, or if you're adventurous, Anton LaVey's "The Satanic Bible." Study just enough so that you sound legit when you try to convert them.

Nova Land · 5th January 2003, 11:04 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by CSSMariner
I had two of that "Kingdon Hall" witnessing crowd show up uninvited at my front door again Saturday. I pretended to have been rousted from a deep sleep and opened my door nude while rubbing my eyes and yawning. That seemed to work. Does anyone have any more creative ideas if another pair returns?

...I am tired of being evangelized at my front door.

I actually enjoy talking with JWs, although they are largely interested in sticking to certain rehearsed scripts and the conversations are more interesting to me if I can get them past those.

I also enjoy conversations with Mormons. My neighbors a couple years back were Mormons, and I enjoyed talking with them and learning more about their beliefs. They had some cartoon videos (screenplays by Orson Scott Card!) which had animated versions of stories from the Book of Mormon, and I enjoyed borrowing and watching some of these, as well as a cartoon about the life of Joseph Smith.

I could probably be more helpful to you if your question were how to have an enjoyable conversation with such people. However, to the question of how to get rid of them, on the (frequent) occasions when I have not had time for talking to such people I have found the following technique useful. What I do is say, "I'm sorry, I don't have time to talk with you about this now."

That method may not work well for you, since it implies you are willing to talk another time. JWs that you say that to may then ask when a good time to return would be, or simply return at a later date to see if you are able to talk then. So, for the missionary types I have no interest in talking with, I use a different method: I say to them, "No, I have no interest in talking about this with you."

JWs make a list of places to return to. For example, if the person has taken literature and expressed a willingness to talk again, or if the person was not home when they came by, they will make a note of this to remind them to make a follow-up call. If you politely but clearly express that you are not interested in being visited again, most that I have encountered will put you on their "don't return to" list.

Lord Kenneth · 5th January 2003, 11:19 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Nova Land
I actually enjoy talking with JWs, although they are largely interested in sticking to certain rehearsed scripts and the conversations are more interesting to me if I can get them past those.

I also enjoy conversations with Mormons. My neighbors a couple years back were Mormons, and I enjoyed talking with them and learning more about their beliefs. They had some cartoon videos (screenplays by Orson Scott Card!) which had animated versions of stories from the Book of Mormon, and I enjoyed borrowing and watching some of these, as well as a cartoon about the life of Joseph Smith.

I could probably be more helpful to you if your question were how to have an enjoyable conversation with such people. However, to the question of how to get rid of them, on the (frequent) occasions when I have not had time for talking to such people I have found the following technique useful. What I do is say, "I'm sorry, I don't have time to talk with you about this now."

That method may not work well for you, since it implies you are willing to talk another time. JWs that you say that to may then ask when a good time to return would be, or simply return at a later date to see if you are able to talk then. So, for the missionary types I have no interest in talking with, I use a different method: I say to them, "No, I have no interest in talking about this with you."

JWs make a list of places to return to. For example, if the person has taken literature and expressed a willingness to talk again, or if the person was not home when they came by, they will make a note of this to remind them to make a follow-up call. If you politely but clearly express that you are not interested in being visited again, most that I have encountered will put you on their "don't return to" list.

That's no fun!

MRC_Hans · 5th January 2003, 11:26 PM

I dont think we have Mormons here in Denmark, but we do have a (dwindling) supply of JW. I never say anything to them, except "no thanks". That soon sends them away (they are not very aggressive here; years ago, somebody sent the police at them, so they watch their actions).

I once had the following conversation with a couple of young and actually rather good-loking ladies:

JW YL: "Good afternoon, would you like to hear about peace on Eath and among humans?"

Me: "No, thanks"

JW YL: "Well, how would you like an eternal life in paradisic surroundings?"

Me: "No, thanks"

JW YL: "Ehhh -- mmmm OK, have a nice day"

Me: "Thanks"(Closes door)

Thing is, those answers are designed to open a discussion, the second one is designed as a sure-fire bait, so when it fails, they have nowhere to go, except away.

Hans

Fade · 5th January 2003, 11:38 PM

Ask them in for coffee and some casual sex.

Ms.Tirius · 6th January 2003, 05:18 AM

The JWs around here tend to show up in the late spring or early summer, always well dressed, always boys in their late teens. I usually tell them I'm a Satanist, and that if they do not promptly remove themselves from my property, I will call upon the powers of Satan to have them destroyed. This usually sends them on their way, occassionally I will encounter a more persistent JW, in which case I start mumbling prayers backwards. That does the trick.

jimlintott · 6th January 2003, 08:59 AM

I usually try to talk them into giving me their pamphlets for free. Sometimes they want to charge for them. I hope to cause them economic ruin, twelve cents at a time.

I have this fantasy of printing some atheist pamphlets and knocking on the door of the Kingdom Hall during services and asking if they would like to talk about the non-existence of the lord.

ShottleBop · 6th January 2003, 10:53 AM

We live a half-mile from a JW Kingdom Hall. On the few occasions that someone has come to our door, a simple: "No thanks, I am happy with my current beliefs," has been enough to have them excuse themselves.

Many years ago, in a different house, we had several very pleasant meetings with a couple of JW missionaries. They ended abruptly when I told the "closer" they had brought in that I thought that Mary had lied about the cause of her pregnancy.

Ignatius · 6th January 2003, 01:48 PM

A few weeks ago I received an email at work from my wife telling me that there were some people at our door asking if we would like to talk about Jesus. My wife said "no" and they left.

I was absolutely crushed. "Did you ask them to come back later?!" I asked (she knows I live for this kind of thing).

"No, I didn't even think of it until they left", she replied.

I really wonder how they would react when someone leaps to their feet excitedly and says "By all means! Come in, come in! Can I get you anything to drink? Make yourself at home!" while rushing around, beside myself, grinning from ear to ear and rubbing my hands together.

justsaygnosis · 6th January 2003, 05:42 PM

I had a couple of mormon's come by one sunday somewhere around 1996. When I opened the front door my dogs went outside to see who was there. One's a chocolate lab and the other a yellow lab, both curiously friendly.
They went about 90 pounds apiece so the younger, (I learned the mormon's travel with an elder and a learner, much like the jedi),started backing off the front porch.
I assured him the dogs had been trained on jehovah witnesses so he had nothing to worry about so long as he didn't pull any pamphlets out of his knapsack.
They never came back.
As for JW's I find that if I invite them to come to catholic church with me on sunday and in exchange I'll go with them to kingdom hall later works like a charm.

Nova Land · 8th January 2003, 08:38 AM

A friend of mine, who is very interested in Swedenborg, Cayce, near death experiences, the question of consciousness (where it comes from, how mind relates to body, etc.) enjoys arguing philosophy and religion with almost anyone. He lives in rural Pennsylvania. Today he heats his house mostly with wood, and keeps the living area fairly warm, but some years back he used coal and was more sparing in its use. Since he did a good amount of work outside, and dressed warmly, the indoor temperature felt quite comfortable to him even if not so comfortable to some visitors.

A pair of affluent JWs drove up one day (in this neighborhood, going door to door by foot would have been impractical) and asked if he'd like to discuss religion with them. He gave them a warm reception -- well, friendly might be a better word, as the room evidently was not as warm as they were used to. He was delighted to engage them in a discussion on different religious beliefs, and the discussion went on for quite some time -- longer, evidently, than they were comfortable, as one was noticeably shivering.

A month or so later, the missionaries were again making their rounds and came to call. This time, however, one of them stayed in their car, with the heater on, until the other was finished.

I forget whether he said they returned several more times (with the one always staying in the car) or if that was the last time he saw them.

It would seem that with missionaries, as with many things in life, the more eager and comfortable you are to discuss something controversial with others, the less eager and comfortable they may feel about talking with you.

Skeptical Greg · 8th January 2003, 09:22 AM

The important thing to remember about JW's (if they are properly indoctrinated, and they are not likely to
be knocking on doors, if they are not ), is that, they are not so interested in converting you, as they are
about carrying out their supposed mission ( spreading the word).

They take very seriously, a verse from the bible, about ' shaking the dust from their feet, and not returning
to a house where they are not well received '..

If you tell them ' you are not interested ', they will leave you alone.

Ian Osborne · 8th January 2003, 09:36 AM

The ultimate sin for a Jehovah's Witless is having a blood transfusion. If you say you've had one, they'll leave you alone for ever more, as you're already bound for Hell, no matter what you do in later life.

What a great religion...

Doorknob · 8th January 2003, 09:49 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Ian Osborne
The ultimate sin for a Jehovah's Witless is having a blood transfusion. If you say you've had one, they'll leave you alone for ever more, as you're already bound for Hell, no matter what you do in later life.

What a great religion...

This post indicates you don't really know what JW's believe. For one, they don't believe in Hell, at least not in the "mainstream" way. For a JW, Hell/Sheol/Hades/etc is simply the grave where you are asleep in death awaiting resurrection, there is no conscieousness, not a place of eternal punishment.

And there is no "ultimate sin". Saying you've had a blood transfusion will in no way scare them off. It DOES matter what you do later in life, you can always repent.

scribble · 8th January 2003, 09:52 AM

"I couldn't be a Jehovah's Witness. I didn't see the accident."

Skeptical Greg · 8th January 2003, 09:54 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Ian Osborne
The ultimate sin for a Jehovah's Witless is having a blood transfusion. If you say you've had one, they'll leave you alone for ever more, as you're already bound for Hell, no matter what you do in later life.

What a great religion...

JW's do have a Bible based aversion to blood transfusions, and do not willingly submit to them, or allow
family members to receive them. But having had one, as a non-JW, would not be a basis for them not
wanting to witness to you.

They also do not believe that there is a hell, where the souls of non believers, spend eternity.

I think you may have them confused with some other group.

Ian Osborne · 8th January 2003, 10:04 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Diogenes
They also do not believe that there is a hell, where the souls of non believers, spend eternity.

No, the lost are destroyed, not punished for all eternity. Many Christians believe that too, arguing Hell is the final destruction of the soul.

But is the exact defenition of what they mean by Hell really that important? JWs have been known to let their children die rather than have a blood transfusion.

Skeptical Greg · 8th January 2003, 11:41 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Ian Osborne

No, the lost are destroyed, not punished for all eternity. Many Christians believe that too, arguing Hell is the final destruction of the soul.

But is the exact defenition of what they mean by Hell really that important?

It is, if you are a JW.

JWs have been known to let their children die rather than have a blood transfusion.

This is true.
But what does that have to do with.....?

Quote:

The ultimate sin for a Jehovah's Witless is having a blood transfusion. If you say you've had one, they'll leave you alone for ever more.....

Which is your statement, that I questioned....

Pyrts · 8th January 2003, 11:53 AM

Tell them you're Jewish.

For whatever reason, the Mormons, JWs, and others don't try to convince the Jews to convert.

Doorknob · 8th January 2003, 12:16 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Pyrts
Tell them you're Jewish.

For whatever reason, the Mormons, JWs, and others don't try to convince the Jews to convert.

That's not true either.

CSSMariner · 8th January 2003, 12:21 PM

I always thought conversion was the very nature of the spooks going door to door in the first place. In my NC hometown they said for many years they were raising money to build a church, then never did as far as I know. I always thought they were fruitcakes in any case.

whitefork · 8th January 2003, 12:34 PM

You can always rant about gravitons and free-willy.

pupdog · 8th January 2003, 03:31 PM

I asked them what mosquitoes in heaven feed on, & tell them about my studies in geology & evolution.

But I haven't had any visits since I got a dog.

ShottleBop · 8th January 2003, 03:39 PM

Quote:

Tell them you're Jewish.

For whatever reason, the Mormons, JWs, and others don't try to convince the Jews to convert

We're Jewish, and the JWs I referred to above were extremely interested in converting us. I know that their "how to" documentation includes instructions specifically relating to the conversion of Jews; they are (or were, some 30 years ago) under the impression that the typical Jew cannot take a piss without getting his/her rabbi's permission.

I have also had many talks with Mormons. They also appeared interested in converting Jews.

jj · 8th January 2003, 03:56 PM

I let my kids answer the door, and just stand there to make sure they don't invade the premises.

My kids are really, REALLY fast with the question "why". They are also good at 'how can I test that claim", "but what is your evidence", "other than what some guy wrote in a book, how can I find out", and "but how can I have faith if there is nothing to have faith about".

It's interesting. The LDS folks mostly are polite, somewhat astonished, say "thank you" and go on their way without looking terribly distressed. Some of the older missionaries from other denominations get remarkably angry, some of them at me.

I nod to the elder offspring, then, and she closes the door. She may be 12, but she's also 5'5" and about 120 skinny, muscular pounds. The door closes

8th January 2003, 04:05 PM

----
Does anyone have a clever method of tossing a stick into the bicycle spokes of the pedaling profits out of Utah when they come by? I am tired of being evangelized at my front door.
----

Yeah, althought it isn't too clever- put up a sign that says no soliciting.

subgenius · 8th January 2003, 04:17 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Fade
Ask them in for coffee and some casual sex.

I thought of this excellent approach (add being in the nude) only minutes after I sent a couple of JW foxes away. Damn, next time!

thaiboxerken · 8th January 2003, 04:39 PM

My wife uses a tactic that works very well for both religious sales and retail sales people. She yell's "NOT INTERESTED" and then slams the door.

CSSMariner · 8th January 2003, 05:08 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Whodini
[BYeah, althought it isn't too clever- put up a sign that says no soliciting. [/b]

I had one in contrasting colors on the front door of our home, didn't work with a lot of folks, especially the JW creeps.

On the front of my business I put a little sign that went, "NO SOLICITING, we feed every third salesman to the 'gators out back and the second one just left." Didn't work either.

Since we are not a walk-in business, we just locked the door. Then they would knock, so I would just look out of the door to the lab area, then close it. That worked.

Now I'm moving out into a rural area of Texas northwest a little from Fort Worth. I plan to fence in the eight acres and let the dogs roam as they will. Bet that works for everybody by damn.

5th January 2003, 04:26 PM	#1
CSSMariner Thinker Join Date: Jun 2002 Posts: 173	Sending the Jehovah's Witnesses packing I had two of that "Kingdon Hall" witnessing crowd show up uninvited at my front door again Saturday. I pretended to have been rousted from a deep sleep and opened my door nude while rubbing my eyes and yawning. That seemed to work. Does anyone have any more creative ideas if another pair returns? Does anyone have a clever method of tossing a stick into the bicycle spokes of the pedaling profits out of Utah when they come by? I am tired of being evangelized at my front door.
CSSMariner Thinker Join Date: Jun 2002 Posts: 173	__________________ "Never give in, never give in, never, never, never give in." Sir Winston S. Churchill

5th January 2003, 05:52 PM	#2
c4ts Philosopher Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Your base Posts: 8,427	Buy a neon green long haired wig. When the missionaries come a knockin', put on the wig and speak in falsetto. Affectionately call to someone named "Biff" and mention things like missing leather bondage thongs and combat assault rifles. If they continue to persist, explain that you don't speak English and shout gibberish at the missionaries.
	__________________ Ha ha ha ha.... Stupid signature size limit.

5th January 2003, 05:56 PM	#3
shemp Timothy, Timothy, where on earth did you go? Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: trapped in a cave-in with Joe Posts: 12,896	My father likes to argue with them while jabbing his finger at them and acting menacing, forcing them to back away. He doesn't stop till they get to the street. I have never had the "pleasure" of their visits. I did get a couple of old ladies from some fundamentalist church a few years back. I simply acted menacing and used a few choice words like "deranged," "liars," and "scum," and they hopped back in their car and left. I have not been bothered since. Perhaps word gets around.
	__________________ Church on Sunday, sleep and nod Tryin' to duck the wrath of God Preacher's fillin' us with fright Tryin' to tell us what he thinks is right He really got to be some kind of nut (I can't use it!) Tryin' to make it real - compared to what?

5th January 2003, 05:58 PM	#4
shemp Timothy, Timothy, where on earth did you go? Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: trapped in a cave-in with Joe Posts: 12,896	Quote: Originally posted by c4ts Buy a neon green long haired wig. When the missionaries come a knockin', put on the wig and speak in falsetto. Affectionately call to someone named "Biff" and mention things like missing leather bondage thongs and combat assault rifles. If they continue to persist, explain that you don't speak English and shout gibberish at the missionaries. Do you consider this to be unusual behavior? I do this stuff all the time, especially when I'm with my imaginary friends.
	__________________ Church on Sunday, sleep and nod Tryin' to duck the wrath of God Preacher's fillin' us with fright Tryin' to tell us what he thinks is right He really got to be some kind of nut (I can't use it!) Tryin' to make it real - compared to what?

5th January 2003, 06:03 PM	#5
Guest Posts: n/a	this is what I do... I tell them I'm an atheist, and think the notion of invisible beings with omniscient powers is silly. I tell them I don't want to be preached to, but I'm open to discussion on the subject of theism in general. Very often they will leave. There was one group with a really cute woman... but that didn't go anywhere of course. Nowhere but out the door. Be nice to 'em if they don't get on your nerves... represent atheism well. You probably won't counteract the brainwashing but it's worth a try, right?
Guest Posts: n/a

5th January 2003, 06:13 PM	#6
c4ts Philosopher Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Your base Posts: 8,427	Quote: Originally posted by shemp Do you consider this to be unusual behavior? I do this stuff all the time, especially when I'm with my imaginary friends. Yes, but this is Salt Lake here. Act like that and people will just assume you're from Park City (or Mars). Fortunately, unusual behavior seems to work as a ward against LDS members. I got to see the ugly picture of Jesus in Castle Mormon without a single missionary bothering me. I dyed my hair bright orange and convinced my friend to dress like a hare krishna (he carried a tambourine and wore a bedsheet), and NOBODY wanted to go near either of us. The mural was so bad, it wasn't even worth the effort.
	__________________ Ha ha ha ha.... Stupid signature size limit.

5th January 2003, 06:33 PM	#7
CSSMariner Thinker Join Date: Jun 2002 Posts: 173	I went through Salt Lake City three times in December. On the way from Fort Lauderdale to Alaska for a project, once again on the way from Alaska to San Diego for another project, and again on the way back from San Diego to Fort Lauderdale. In Salt Lake City I was waiting for the flight and noticed a drop dead gorgeous sweet young thing of about college age reading a book. There were two open seats, one on each side of her, so I grabbed one before some other lecherous old bastard like me took it. Then a clean looking young lad about her age sat down and they were obviously friends. I struck up a conversation with the two of them while admiring the lady as unobtrusively as possible. I discovered that both of them were headed home to Dallas, which was the next stop on the way to Florida, and both of them were on the way from Idaho. It turned out that both were LDS and were in school at a LDS operation in Idaho. I said I thought only zonked-out retreatists lived in the woods of Idaho and they pretty much agreed. I asked about the pedaling prophet bit, and they said both of them also did their duty at the pedals early in their novice years, and I was floored. Now if she had shown up at my front door, I would have had to listen just to be allowed to look at her for as long as she wanted to stay.
CSSMariner Thinker Join Date: Jun 2002 Posts: 173	__________________ "Never give in, never give in, never, never, never give in." Sir Winston S. Churchill

5th January 2003, 06:40 PM	#8
c4ts Philosopher Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Your base Posts: 8,427	Quote: Originally posted by CSSMariner I went through Salt Lake City three times in December. On the way from Fort Lauderdale to Alaska for a project, once again on the way from Alaska to San Diego for another project, and again on the way back from San Diego to Fort Lauderdale. In Salt Lake City I was waiting for the flight and noticed a drop dead gorgeous sweet young thing of about college age reading a book. There were two open seats, one on each side of her, so I grabbed one before some other lecherous old bastard like me took it. Then a clean looking young lad about her age sat down and they were obviously friends. I struck up a conversation with the two of them while admiring the lady as unobtrusively as possible. I discovered that both of them were headed home to Dallas, which was the next stop on the way to Florida, and both of them were on the way from Idaho. It turned out that both were LDS and were in school at a LDS operation in Idaho. I said I thought only zonked-out retreatists lived in the woods of Idaho and they pretty much agreed. I asked about the pedaling prophet bit, and they said both of them also did their duty at the pedals early in their novice years, and I was floored. Now if she had shown up at my front door, I would have had to listen just to be allowed to look at her for as long as she wanted to stay. But that never acutally happens, does it? It's always the blonde guy with the crue cut and the funny upturned nose.
	__________________ Ha ha ha ha.... Stupid signature size limit.

5th January 2003, 06:48 PM	#9
CSSMariner Thinker Join Date: Jun 2002 Posts: 173	I have never had one, or for that matter two, of the LDS whatever they are called stop by, but the ones I do see on the streets in South Florida are always dudes. I wonder where they send the cuties????? Not here, I suppose they are afraid some recruiter for a South American drug lord or a Middle East sheik will snatch them off the street and export them. All the lads are always trim, which I suppose is normal enough from pedaling that nefarious volume (bible) around all the time. I was trim too when I was pedaling a hundred miles a week, then I was hit by a woman driver in a rush to get to work, and the rest is history.
CSSMariner Thinker Join Date: Jun 2002 Posts: 173	__________________ "Never give in, never give in, never, never, never give in." Sir Winston S. Churchill

5th January 2003, 06:50 PM	#10
BroodingSkill Thinker Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: the Good ole 559 Posts: 178	I just don't answer the door. That seems to work fine for me, after a while they take the hint and just stop coming.
	__________________ Extraordinay claims...blah blah...extraordinary evidence.

5th January 2003, 06:56 PM	#11
CSSMariner Thinker Join Date: Jun 2002 Posts: 173	I see it as a challenge and good sport. Baiting those folks is just plain fun.
CSSMariner Thinker Join Date: Jun 2002 Posts: 173	__________________ "Never give in, never give in, never, never, never give in." Sir Winston S. Churchill

5th January 2003, 07:25 PM	#12
shemp Timothy, Timothy, where on earth did you go? Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: trapped in a cave-in with Joe Posts: 12,896	Of course, there's another tactic. Try to convert them to some other religion. Keep a copy of the Koran or the Torah around, or if you're adventurous, Anton LaVey's "The Satanic Bible." Study just enough so that you sound legit when you try to convert them.
	__________________ Church on Sunday, sleep and nod Tryin' to duck the wrath of God Preacher's fillin' us with fright Tryin' to tell us what he thinks is right He really got to be some kind of nut (I can't use it!) Tryin' to make it real - compared to what?

5th January 2003, 11:04 PM	#13
Nova Land / Tagger Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Whitleyville, TN Posts: 5,157	Re: Sending the Jehovah's Witnesses packing Quote: Originally posted by CSSMariner I had two of that "Kingdon Hall" witnessing crowd show up uninvited at my front door again Saturday. I pretended to have been rousted from a deep sleep and opened my door nude while rubbing my eyes and yawning. That seemed to work. Does anyone have any more creative ideas if another pair returns? ...I am tired of being evangelized at my front door. I actually enjoy talking with JWs, although they are largely interested in sticking to certain rehearsed scripts and the conversations are more interesting to me if I can get them past those. I also enjoy conversations with Mormons. My neighbors a couple years back were Mormons, and I enjoyed talking with them and learning more about their beliefs. They had some cartoon videos (screenplays by Orson Scott Card!) which had animated versions of stories from the Book of Mormon, and I enjoyed borrowing and watching some of these, as well as a cartoon about the life of Joseph Smith. I could probably be more helpful to you if your question were how to have an enjoyable conversation with such people. However, to the question of how to get rid of them, on the (frequent) occasions when I have not had time for talking to such people I have found the following technique useful. What I do is say, "I'm sorry, I don't have time to talk with you about this now." That method may not work well for you, since it implies you are willing to talk another time. JWs that you say that to may then ask when a good time to return would be, or simply return at a later date to see if you are able to talk then. So, for the missionary types I have no interest in talking with, I use a different method: I say to them, "No, I have no interest in talking about this with you." JWs make a list of places to return to. For example, if the person has taken literature and expressed a willingness to talk again, or if the person was not home when they came by, they will make a note of this to remind them to make a follow-up call. If you politely but clearly express that you are not interested in being visited again, most that I have encountered will put you on their "don't return to" list.

5th January 2003, 11:19 PM	#14
Lord Kenneth Banned Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 2,623	Re: Re: Sending the Jehovah's Witnesses packing Quote: Originally posted by Nova Land I actually enjoy talking with JWs, although they are largely interested in sticking to certain rehearsed scripts and the conversations are more interesting to me if I can get them past those. I also enjoy conversations with Mormons. My neighbors a couple years back were Mormons, and I enjoyed talking with them and learning more about their beliefs. They had some cartoon videos (screenplays by Orson Scott Card!) which had animated versions of stories from the Book of Mormon, and I enjoyed borrowing and watching some of these, as well as a cartoon about the life of Joseph Smith. I could probably be more helpful to you if your question were how to have an enjoyable conversation with such people. However, to the question of how to get rid of them, on the (frequent) occasions when I have not had time for talking to such people I have found the following technique useful. What I do is say, "I'm sorry, I don't have time to talk with you about this now." That method may not work well for you, since it implies you are willing to talk another time. JWs that you say that to may then ask when a good time to return would be, or simply return at a later date to see if you are able to talk then. So, for the missionary types I have no interest in talking with, I use a different method: I say to them, "No, I have no interest in talking about this with you." JWs make a list of places to return to. For example, if the person has taken literature and expressed a willingness to talk again, or if the person was not home when they came by, they will make a note of this to remind them to make a follow-up call. If you politely but clearly express that you are not interested in being visited again, most that I have encountered will put you on their "don't return to" list. That's no fun!
Lord Kenneth Banned Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 2,623

5th January 2003, 11:26 PM	#15
MRC_Hans Penultimate Amazing Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Whithin earshot of the North Sea Posts: 16,602	I dont think we have Mormons here in Denmark, but we do have a (dwindling) supply of JW. I never say anything to them, except "no thanks". That soon sends them away (they are not very aggressive here; years ago, somebody sent the police at them, so they watch their actions). I once had the following conversation with a couple of young and actually rather good-loking ladies: JW YL: "Good afternoon, would you like to hear about peace on Eath and among humans?" Me: "No, thanks" JW YL: "Well, how would you like an eternal life in paradisic surroundings?" Me: "No, thanks" JW YL: "Ehhh -- mmmm OK, have a nice day" Me: "Thanks"(Closes door) Thing is, those answers are designed to open a discussion, the second one is designed as a sure-fire bait, so when it fails, they have nowhere to go, except away. Hans
	__________________ Don't. Just don't.

5th January 2003, 11:38 PM	#16
Fade Graduate Poster Join Date: Mar 2002 Posts: 1,055	Ask them in for coffee and some casual sex.
Fade Graduate Poster Join Date: Mar 2002 Posts: 1,055

6th January 2003, 05:18 AM	#17
Ms.Tirius Critical Thinker Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 262	The JWs around here tend to show up in the late spring or early summer, always well dressed, always boys in their late teens. I usually tell them I'm a Satanist, and that if they do not promptly remove themselves from my property, I will call upon the powers of Satan to have them destroyed. This usually sends them on their way, occassionally I will encounter a more persistent JW, in which case I start mumbling prayers backwards. That does the trick.
	__________________ Proud to be a 97%er!

6th January 2003, 08:59 AM	#18
jimlintott Master Poster Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Saskatchewan Posts: 2,894	I usually try to talk them into giving me their pamphlets for free. Sometimes they want to charge for them. I hope to cause them economic ruin, twelve cents at a time. I have this fantasy of printing some atheist pamphlets and knocking on the door of the Kingdom Hall during services and asking if they would like to talk about the non-existence of the lord.
	__________________ If you are going to throw caution to the wind, make sure you are standing upwind.

6th January 2003, 10:53 AM	#19
ShottleBop Student Join Date: Dec 2002 Posts: 39	We live a half-mile from a JW Kingdom Hall. On the few occasions that someone has come to our door, a simple: "No thanks, I am happy with my current beliefs," has been enough to have them excuse themselves. Many years ago, in a different house, we had several very pleasant meetings with a couple of JW missionaries. They ended abruptly when I told the "closer" they had brought in that I thought that Mary had lied about the cause of her pregnancy.
ShottleBop Student Join Date: Dec 2002 Posts: 39

6th January 2003, 01:48 PM	#20
Ignatius Critical Thinker Join Date: Nov 2001 Posts: 372	A few weeks ago I received an email at work from my wife telling me that there were some people at our door asking if we would like to talk about Jesus. My wife said "no" and they left. I was absolutely crushed. "Did you ask them to come back later?!" I asked (she knows I live for this kind of thing). "No, I didn't even think of it until they left", she replied. I really wonder how they would react when someone leaps to their feet excitedly and says "By all means! Come in, come in! Can I get you anything to drink? Make yourself at home!" while rushing around, beside myself, grinning from ear to ear and rubbing my hands together.
Ignatius Critical Thinker Join Date: Nov 2001 Posts: 372

6th January 2003, 05:42 PM	#21
justsaygnosis Critical Thinker Join Date: Dec 2002 Posts: 263	I had a couple of mormon's come by one sunday somewhere around 1996. When I opened the front door my dogs went outside to see who was there. One's a chocolate lab and the other a yellow lab, both curiously friendly. They went about 90 pounds apiece so the younger, (I learned the mormon's travel with an elder and a learner, much like the jedi),started backing off the front porch. I assured him the dogs had been trained on jehovah witnesses so he had nothing to worry about so long as he didn't pull any pamphlets out of his knapsack. They never came back. As for JW's I find that if I invite them to come to catholic church with me on sunday and in exchange I'll go with them to kingdom hall later works like a charm.

8th January 2003, 08:38 AM	#22
Nova Land / Tagger Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Whitleyville, TN Posts: 5,157	A friend of mine, who is very interested in Swedenborg, Cayce, near death experiences, the question of consciousness (where it comes from, how mind relates to body, etc.) enjoys arguing philosophy and religion with almost anyone. He lives in rural Pennsylvania. Today he heats his house mostly with wood, and keeps the living area fairly warm, but some years back he used coal and was more sparing in its use. Since he did a good amount of work outside, and dressed warmly, the indoor temperature felt quite comfortable to him even if not so comfortable to some visitors. A pair of affluent JWs drove up one day (in this neighborhood, going door to door by foot would have been impractical) and asked if he'd like to discuss religion with them. He gave them a warm reception -- well, friendly might be a better word, as the room evidently was not as warm as they were used to. He was delighted to engage them in a discussion on different religious beliefs, and the discussion went on for quite some time -- longer, evidently, than they were comfortable, as one was noticeably shivering. A month or so later, the missionaries were again making their rounds and came to call. This time, however, one of them stayed in their car, with the heater on, until the other was finished. I forget whether he said they returned several more times (with the one always staying in the car) or if that was the last time he saw them. It would seem that with missionaries, as with many things in life, the more eager and comfortable you are to discuss something controversial with others, the less eager and comfortable they may feel about talking with you.

8th January 2003, 09:22 AM	#23
Skeptical Greg Agave Wine Connoisseur Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Just past 'Resume Speed' Posts: 12,874	The important thing to remember about JW's (if they are properly indoctrinated, and they are not likely to be knocking on doors, if they are not ), is that, they are not so interested in converting you, as they are about carrying out their supposed mission ( spreading the word). They take very seriously, a verse from the bible, about ' shaking the dust from their feet, and not returning to a house where they are not well received '.. If you tell them ' you are not interested ', they will leave you alone.
	__________________ " Somewhere between Jesus dying on the cross, and a giant bunny hiding eggs,there seems to be a gap in information. " Stan - Southpark Prove your computer is not a wimp ! Join the JREF Folders ! Team 13232

8th January 2003, 09:36 AM	#24
Ian Osborne JREF Kid Tagger Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Wiltshire Posts: 6,383	The ultimate sin for a Jehovah's Witless is having a blood transfusion. If you say you've had one, they'll leave you alone for ever more, as you're already bound for Hell, no matter what you do in later life. What a great religion...
	__________________ "Faith without doubt leads to moral arrogance, the eternal pratfall of the religiously convinced" - Joe Klein, Time magazine "The fact that some geniuses were laughed at does not imply that all who are laughed at are geniuses. They laughed at Columbus, they laughed at Fulton, they laughed at the Wright brothers. But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown." - Carl Sagan

8th January 2003, 09:49 AM	#25
Doorknob New Blood Join Date: Aug 2001 Posts: 14	Quote: Originally posted by Ian Osborne The ultimate sin for a Jehovah's Witless is having a blood transfusion. If you say you've had one, they'll leave you alone for ever more, as you're already bound for Hell, no matter what you do in later life. What a great religion... This post indicates you don't really know what JW's believe. For one, they don't believe in Hell, at least not in the "mainstream" way. For a JW, Hell/Sheol/Hades/etc is simply the grave where you are asleep in death awaiting resurrection, there is no conscieousness, not a place of eternal punishment. And there is no "ultimate sin". Saying you've had a blood transfusion will in no way scare them off. It DOES matter what you do later in life, you can always repent.
Doorknob New Blood Join Date: Aug 2001 Posts: 14

8th January 2003, 09:52 AM	#26
scribble Master Poster Join Date: Nov 2001 Posts: 2,696	"I couldn't be a Jehovah's Witness. I didn't see the accident."
scribble Master Poster Join Date: Nov 2001 Posts: 2,696	__________________ "Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true." - Homer Simpson "I was thinking about painting my house, but I was worried about how well the latex paint we bought would bond to the existing siding. So I got on the Interweb and searched for latex bondage."

8th January 2003, 09:54 AM	#27
Skeptical Greg Agave Wine Connoisseur Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Just past 'Resume Speed' Posts: 12,874	Quote: Originally posted by Ian Osborne The ultimate sin for a Jehovah's Witless is having a blood transfusion. If you say you've had one, they'll leave you alone for ever more, as you're already bound for Hell, no matter what you do in later life. What a great religion... JW's do have a Bible based aversion to blood transfusions, and do not willingly submit to them, or allow family members to receive them. But having had one, as a non-JW, would not be a basis for them not wanting to witness to you. They also do not believe that there is a hell, where the souls of non believers, spend eternity. I think you may have them confused with some other group.
	__________________ " Somewhere between Jesus dying on the cross, and a giant bunny hiding eggs,there seems to be a gap in information. " Stan - Southpark Prove your computer is not a wimp ! Join the JREF Folders ! Team 13232

8th January 2003, 10:04 AM	#28
Ian Osborne JREF Kid Tagger Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Wiltshire Posts: 6,383	Quote: Originally posted by Diogenes They also do not believe that there is a hell, where the souls of non believers, spend eternity. No, the lost are destroyed, not punished for all eternity. Many Christians believe that too, arguing Hell is the final destruction of the soul. But is the exact defenition of what they mean by Hell really that important? JWs have been known to let their children die rather than have a blood transfusion.
	__________________ "Faith without doubt leads to moral arrogance, the eternal pratfall of the religiously convinced" - Joe Klein, Time magazine "The fact that some geniuses were laughed at does not imply that all who are laughed at are geniuses. They laughed at Columbus, they laughed at Fulton, they laughed at the Wright brothers. But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown." - Carl Sagan

8th January 2003, 11:41 AM	#29
Skeptical Greg Agave Wine Connoisseur Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Just past 'Resume Speed' Posts: 12,874	Quote: Originally posted by Ian Osborne No, the lost are destroyed, not punished for all eternity. Many Christians believe that too, arguing Hell is the final destruction of the soul. But is the exact defenition of what they mean by Hell really that important? It is, if you are a JW. JWs have been known to let their children die rather than have a blood transfusion. This is true. But what does that have to do with.....? Quote: The ultimate sin for a Jehovah's Witless is having a blood transfusion. If you say you've had one, they'll leave you alone for ever more..... Which is your statement, that I questioned....
	__________________ " Somewhere between Jesus dying on the cross, and a giant bunny hiding eggs,there seems to be a gap in information. " Stan - Southpark Prove your computer is not a wimp ! Join the JREF Folders ! Team 13232

8th January 2003, 11:53 AM	#30
Pyrts Thinker Join Date: Oct 2001 Posts: 216	Tell them you're Jewish. For whatever reason, the Mormons, JWs, and others don't try to convince the Jews to convert.
Pyrts Thinker Join Date: Oct 2001 Posts: 216

8th January 2003, 12:16 PM	#31
Doorknob New Blood Join Date: Aug 2001 Posts: 14	Quote: Originally posted by Pyrts Tell them you're Jewish. For whatever reason, the Mormons, JWs, and others don't try to convince the Jews to convert. That's not true either.
Doorknob New Blood Join Date: Aug 2001 Posts: 14

8th January 2003, 12:21 PM	#32
CSSMariner Thinker Join Date: Jun 2002 Posts: 173	I always thought conversion was the very nature of the spooks going door to door in the first place. In my NC hometown they said for many years they were raising money to build a church, then never did as far as I know. I always thought they were fruitcakes in any case.
CSSMariner Thinker Join Date: Jun 2002 Posts: 173	__________________ "Never give in, never give in, never, never, never give in." Sir Winston S. Churchill

8th January 2003, 12:34 PM	#33
whitefork None of the above Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: aka kullervo Posts: 2,339	You can always rant about gravitons and free-willy.
	__________________ Convictions are more dangerous enemies of truth than lies - Nietzsche

8th January 2003, 03:31 PM	#34
pupdog Muse Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Pennsylvania Posts: 627	I asked them what mosquitoes in heaven feed on, & tell them about my studies in geology & evolution. But I haven't had any visits since I got a dog.
	__________________ Professor Pupdog

8th January 2003, 03:39 PM	#35
ShottleBop Student Join Date: Dec 2002 Posts: 39	Quote: Tell them you're Jewish. For whatever reason, the Mormons, JWs, and others don't try to convince the Jews to convert We're Jewish, and the JWs I referred to above were extremely interested in converting us. I know that their "how to" documentation includes instructions specifically relating to the conversion of Jews; they are (or were, some 30 years ago) under the impression that the typical Jew cannot take a piss without getting his/her rabbi's permission. I have also had many talks with Mormons. They also appeared interested in converting Jews.
ShottleBop Student Join Date: Dec 2002 Posts: 39