The REAL Reason behind Bush's Moon Announcement

shemp · 9th January 2004, 10:39 AM

Quote:

JUST months after liberating Iraq, President George W. Bush plans to bring freedom to another far-flung region, the moon.

High-level Pentagon sources confirm that U.S. Marines and Air Force personnel are receiving special training from NASA in preparation for a massive 1,200-man invasion of Earth's satellite set for May 2004.

"The President's position is that when we planted a flag on the lunar surface in 1969, we in effect staked a claim to the moon under every principle of international law," reveals a Defense Department insider.

"Putting a large expeditionary force on the ground will back up that claim with muscle and allow us to make the moon America's 51st state." The far-sighted move could be a brilliant coup for the commander-in-chief.

"He believes that securing the moon for the United States will cement his legacy as one of our greatest presidents, just as the Louisiana Purchase did for Thomas Jefferson," explains the source.

This evil plan must be stopped at once! The moon belongs to the whole world, not just Dubya!

no one in particular · 9th January 2004, 10:46 AM

Now wheeeere have I seen something similar to this today…? Oh, wait, here it is!

Quote:

Originally posted by Always Free

But in todays 'climate' do you think that if US is first to Mars and also returning to the moon, that they should claim them for their own territory?

Of course they would have to set up permanent military bases on them to keep other countries out. Who knows, there may be extremely valuable resources to come out of these planets. Why not lay claim to them? After all they are only land.

Zero · 9th January 2004, 10:48 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by shemp
Bush's Plan to Invade the Moon!!!

This evil plan must be stopped at once! The moon belongs to the whole world, not just Dubya!

Hey, for all we know Saddam Hussein put all his WMDs up there!!

Mr Manifesto · 9th January 2004, 10:49 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Zero
Hey, for all we know Saddam Hussein put all his WMDs up there!!

He hasn't proven they aren't there. And if they're not there, where are they?

Crossbow · 9th January 2004, 10:50 AM

Come on Shemp and do a 'bro a favor and stop posting dull excerpts from the Weekly World News
and start posting pictures of there 'Page 5 Girls'!

Or as the French would say, "Par le vous`, Humma! Humma!".

Zero · 9th January 2004, 10:51 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Mr Manifesto

He hasn't proven they aren't there. And if they're not there, where are they?

Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence...the WMD could be on Mars, you know?

shemp · 9th January 2004, 10:55 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Crossbow
Come on Shemp and do a 'bro a favor and stop posting dull excerpts from the Weekly World News
and start posting pictures of there 'Page 5 Girls'!

Or as the French would say, "Par le vous`, Humma! Humma!".

Sorry, that's GP's shtick.

Mr Manifesto · 9th January 2004, 10:59 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Zero
Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence...the WMD could be on Mars, you know?

Exactly... How do we know he didn't put them on Mars? He hasn't proven that, either.

If you ask me, Saddam has a lot of explaining to do.

subgenius · 9th January 2004, 11:21 AM

Must be oil on the moon.

Doubt · 9th January 2004, 11:23 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by subgenius
Must be oil on the moon.

No. Just a no bid contract to build the moon base for Halburton.

kittynh · 9th January 2004, 11:28 AM

Would Bush be willing to go himself?

How about Mars, is he going to go visit the astronauts there (and maybe stay?)

Please oh please oh please

Mr Manifesto · 9th January 2004, 11:32 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by kittynh
Would Bush be willing to go himself?

How about Mars, is he going to go visit the astronauts there (and maybe stay?)

Please oh please oh please

He'll make an unannounced two-hour visit with some photo ops with a plastic turkey, but that's it I'm afraid. We could hope that his space suit springs a leak, but it seems pretty clear not much oxygen gets to his brain anyway.

subgenius · 9th January 2004, 12:16 PM

Don't recall him being a big fan of space exploration until the recent successes.
If I didn't know better I'd suspect some political motive.

Evolver · 9th January 2004, 12:28 PM

Actually,
Bush has evidence that Marty the Martian is in possession of weapons of mass destruction. The Illudium Q-38 Explosive Space Modulator, to be precise. He has plans to use it to blow up the Earth, which obstructs his view of Venus. W has seen this on one of those "documentaries" he watches all day.
Marty the Martian is a tyrant and must be brought to justice whatever the cost.

aerocontrols · 9th January 2004, 12:43 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by subgenius
Must be oil on the moon.

You guys are all way-off base.

It's not about oil, militarization, or WMD.

The simple fact is that our current Enemy #1 is centuries ahead of us in cheesemaking technology. Our alliance with the Italians helps somewhat, but the only way we can secure US global cheesemaking leadership is to establish a permanent base on the moon, which is, of course, made of cheese.

It is of vital strategic importance to close the Cheese Gap.

duh.

Doubt · 9th January 2004, 12:44 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by aerocontrols

It is of vital strategic importance to close the Cheese Gap.

duh.

The "Moon first" people will protest the strip mining of cheese from the lunar surfance.

aerocontrols · 9th January 2004, 12:50 PM

I've laid out what I've been able to piece together from recent news events and political realignments.

Let's face it, this was obviously inevitable to anyone who has read the PNAC space documents.

aerocontrols

aerocontrols · 9th January 2004, 01:51 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by subgenius
Don't recall him being a big fan of space exploration until the recent successes.
If I didn't know better I'd suspect some political motive.

Behold the Power of Skepticism.

Trust your instincts, subby.

phildonnia · 9th January 2004, 03:50 PM

Ok, before we all start dissing the WWN, ask yourself, last time you were stranded in the checkout line, what bastion of journalistic integrity did you pass the time with? Cosmo? Star? The Enquirer??!

Evolver · 9th January 2004, 05:03 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by phildonnia
Ok, before we all start dissing the WWN, ask yourself, last time you were stranded in the checkout line, what bastion of journalistic integrity did you pass the time with? Cosmo? Star? The Enquirer??!

And it's really not that much different from Fox "News".

Ladewig · 10th January 2004, 04:40 AM

Quote:

Bush has evidence that Marty the Martian is in possession of weapons of mass destruction. The Illudium Q-38 Explosive Space Modulator, to be precise. He has plans to use it to blow up the Earth, which obstructs his view of Venus. W has seen this on one of those "documentaries" he watches all day.
Marty the Martian is a tyrant and must be brought to justice whatever the cost.

Darn you to heck. Now I have an image in my mind of GWB addressing the nation about Marty (Marvin?) and his WMD. How can I take him seriously from now on?

Evolver · 10th January 2004, 08:11 AM

Sorry, it IS Marvin. I'll have to watch more cartoons.

Your mistake was taking GWB seriously at all.

Monketey Ghost · 10th January 2004, 09:07 AM

What I don't quite get is how W thinks we're going to pay for such a thing. We're pretty well booked up, paying for his war.

The guy must think everyone else in the country is as priveleged as he is.

rikzilla · 10th January 2004, 02:15 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by shemp
Bush's Plan to Invade the Moon!!!

This evil plan must be stopped at once! The moon belongs to the whole world, not just Dubya!

You Earthist bastard!! The moon doesn't belong to the "world"....I belongs to the Moonies.

Dorian Gray · 10th January 2004, 11:47 PM

The moon is Bush's Kuwait to Mars' Iraq. Mars is the real target. There's already a no-fly zone there, and even western European craft can't fly there.

Tesserat · 11th January 2004, 12:29 AM

Bush's reasoning

Hmmmm... 300 million people, if we all give $1000, that's, uh

(pulls out calculator, stares at it in confusion, calls secretary)

"what's 300 million times 1000?"

"three hundred billion, sir"

Dubya:

That's gotta be enough. $1000 apiece? Heck, I can afford that.

9th January 2004, 10:39 AM	#1
shemp Timothy, Timothy, where on earth did you go? Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: trapped in a cave-in with Joe Posts: 12,893	The REAL Reason behind Bush's Moon Announcement Bush's Plan to Invade the Moon!!! Quote: JUST months after liberating Iraq, President George W. Bush plans to bring freedom to another far-flung region, the moon. High-level Pentagon sources confirm that U.S. Marines and Air Force personnel are receiving special training from NASA in preparation for a massive 1,200-man invasion of Earth's satellite set for May 2004. "The President's position is that when we planted a flag on the lunar surface in 1969, we in effect staked a claim to the moon under every principle of international law," reveals a Defense Department insider. "Putting a large expeditionary force on the ground will back up that claim with muscle and allow us to make the moon America's 51st state." The far-sighted move could be a brilliant coup for the commander-in-chief. "He believes that securing the moon for the United States will cement his legacy as one of our greatest presidents, just as the Louisiana Purchase did for Thomas Jefferson," explains the source. This evil plan must be stopped at once! The moon belongs to the whole world, not just Dubya!
	__________________ Church on Sunday, sleep and nod Tryin' to duck the wrath of God Preacher's fillin' us with fright Tryin' to tell us what he thinks is right He really got to be some kind of nut (I can't use it!) Tryin' to make it real - compared to what?

9th January 2004, 10:46 AM	#2
no one in particular muse Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Ithaca, NY Posts: 1,004	Now wheeeere have I seen something similar to this today…? Oh, wait, here it is! Quote: Originally posted by Always Free But in todays 'climate' do you think that if US is first to Mars and also returning to the moon, that they should claim them for their own territory? Of course they would have to set up permanent military bases on them to keep other countries out. Who knows, there may be extremely valuable resources to come out of these planets. Why not lay claim to them? After all they are only land.
	__________________ We need more xoup.

9th January 2004, 10:48 AM	#3
Zero Graduate Poster Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 1,535	Re: The REAL Reason behind Bush's Moon Announcement Quote: Originally posted by shemp Bush's Plan to Invade the Moon!!! This evil plan must be stopped at once! The moon belongs to the whole world, not just Dubya! Hey, for all we know Saddam Hussein put all his WMDs up there!!
Zero Graduate Poster Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 1,535	__________________ "I felt like putting a bullet between the eyes of every Panda that wouldn't screw to save its species. I wanted to open the dump valves on oil tankers and smother all the French beaches I'd never see. I wanted to breathe smoke.

9th January 2004, 10:49 AM	#4
Mr Manifesto Hierophant Walrus of the Secret Clique Join Date: Apr 2003 Posts: 4,824	Re: Re: The REAL Reason behind Bush's Moon Announcement Quote: Originally posted by Zero Hey, for all we know Saddam Hussein put all his WMDs up there!! He hasn't proven they aren't there. And if they're not there, where are they?

9th January 2004, 10:50 AM	#5
Crossbow Seeking Honesty and Sanity Join Date: Oct 2001 Posts: 6,294	Come on Shemp and do a 'bro a favor and stop posting dull excerpts from the Weekly World News and start posting pictures of there 'Page 5 Girls'! Or as the French would say, "Par le vous`, Humma! Humma!".
	__________________ A man's best friend is his dogma.

9th January 2004, 10:51 AM	#6
Zero Graduate Poster Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 1,535	Re: Re: Re: The REAL Reason behind Bush's Moon Announcement Quote: Originally posted by Mr Manifesto *He hasn't proven they aren't* there. And if they're not there, where are they?** Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence...the WMD could be on Mars, you know?
Zero Graduate Poster Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 1,535	__________________ "I felt like putting a bullet between the eyes of every Panda that wouldn't screw to save its species. I wanted to open the dump valves on oil tankers and smother all the French beaches I'd never see. I wanted to breathe smoke.

9th January 2004, 10:55 AM	#7
shemp Timothy, Timothy, where on earth did you go? Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: trapped in a cave-in with Joe Posts: 12,893	Quote: Originally posted by Crossbow Come on Shemp and do a 'bro a favor and stop posting dull excerpts from the Weekly World News and start posting pictures of there 'Page 5 Girls'! Or as the French would say, "Par le vous`, Humma! Humma!". Sorry, that's GP's shtick.
	__________________ Church on Sunday, sleep and nod Tryin' to duck the wrath of God Preacher's fillin' us with fright Tryin' to tell us what he thinks is right He really got to be some kind of nut (I can't use it!) Tryin' to make it real - compared to what?

9th January 2004, 10:59 AM	#8
Mr Manifesto Hierophant Walrus of the Secret Clique Join Date: Apr 2003 Posts: 4,824	Re: Re: Re: Re: The REAL Reason behind Bush's Moon Announcement Quote: Originally posted by Zero Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence...the WMD could be on Mars, you know? Exactly... How do we know he didn't put them on Mars? He hasn't proven that, either. If you ask me, Saddam has a lot of explaining to do.

9th January 2004, 11:21 AM	#9
subgenius Illuminator Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 4,788	Must be oil on the moon.
subgenius Illuminator Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 4,788	__________________ "The liberty of a democracy is not safe if the people tolerate the growth of private power to a point where it becomes stronger than their democratic state itself. That, in its essence, is Fascism--ownership of government by an individual, by a group, or by any controlling private power."---Franklin D. Roosevelt Proud to be Liberal

9th January 2004, 11:23 AM	#10
Doubt Philosopher Join Date: Apr 2002 Posts: 5,444	Quote: Originally posted by subgenius Must be oil on the moon. No. Just a no bid contract to build the moon base for Halburton.
Doubt Philosopher Join Date: Apr 2002 Posts: 5,444	__________________ Doubt world tour locations: Mostly home for now. No international travel scheduled other than the Galapagos trip in March. Disclaimer: Not a high energy scientist!

9th January 2004, 11:28 AM	#11
kittynh The Hupsu Detective auctioneer Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: If I told the aliens could find me, and you know they read this forum Posts: 22,707	Would Bush be willing to go himself? How about Mars, is he going to go visit the astronauts there (and maybe stay?) Please oh please oh please
	__________________ WWW.BADALIEN.ORG - not all the buttons work yet, and the science content is coming...but it's ALIVE!

9th January 2004, 11:32 AM	#12
Mr Manifesto Hierophant Walrus of the Secret Clique Join Date: Apr 2003 Posts: 4,824	Quote: Originally posted by kittynh Would Bush be willing to go himself? How about Mars, is he going to go visit the astronauts there (and maybe stay?) Please oh please oh please He'll make an unannounced two-hour visit with some photo ops with a plastic turkey, but that's it I'm afraid. We could hope that his space suit springs a leak, but it seems pretty clear not much oxygen gets to his brain anyway.

9th January 2004, 12:16 PM	#13
subgenius Illuminator Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 4,788	Don't recall him being a big fan of space exploration until the recent successes. If I didn't know better I'd suspect some political motive.
subgenius Illuminator Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 4,788	__________________ "The liberty of a democracy is not safe if the people tolerate the growth of private power to a point where it becomes stronger than their democratic state itself. That, in its essence, is Fascism--ownership of government by an individual, by a group, or by any controlling private power."---Franklin D. Roosevelt Proud to be Liberal

9th January 2004, 12:28 PM	#14
Evolver Muse Join Date: May 2003 Posts: 783	Actually, Bush has evidence that Marty the Martian is in possession of weapons of mass destruction. The Illudium Q-38 Explosive Space Modulator, to be precise. He has plans to use it to blow up the Earth, which obstructs his view of Venus. W has seen this on one of those "documentaries" he watches all day. Marty the Martian is a tyrant and must be brought to justice whatever the cost.
Evolver Muse Join Date: May 2003 Posts: 783	__________________ "For duty & humanity!" -Dr. Howard, Dr. Fine & Dr. Howard "There's a lot of people that would like to forget about me as soon as possible. I'm on their side." - Frank Zappa "What the hell are you starin' at?" -Duckman

9th January 2004, 12:43 PM	#15
aerocontrols Illuminator Join Date: Oct 2001 Posts: 3,445	Quote: Originally posted by subgenius Must be oil on the moon. You guys are all way-off base. It's not about oil, militarization, or WMD. The simple fact is that our current Enemy #1 is centuries ahead of us in cheesemaking technology. Our alliance with the Italians helps somewhat, but the only way we can secure US global cheesemaking leadership is to establish a permanent base on the moon, which is, of course, made of cheese. It is of vital strategic importance to close the Cheese Gap. duh.
	__________________ Misunderestimated in 2000. Unredefeated in 2004. My dog does his tricks. My roomate's dog tries to escape the kitchen. We call you to be a people of manners, principles, honour, and purity; to reject the immoral acts of fornication, homosexuality, intoxicants, gambling's, and trading with interest. Source

9th January 2004, 12:44 PM	#16
Doubt Philosopher Join Date: Apr 2002 Posts: 5,444	Quote: Originally posted by aerocontrols It is of vital strategic importance to close the Cheese Gap. duh. The "Moon first" people will protest the strip mining of cheese from the lunar surfance.
Doubt Philosopher Join Date: Apr 2002 Posts: 5,444	__________________ Doubt world tour locations: Mostly home for now. No international travel scheduled other than the Galapagos trip in March. Disclaimer: Not a high energy scientist!

9th January 2004, 12:50 PM	#17
aerocontrols Illuminator Join Date: Oct 2001 Posts: 3,445	I've laid out what I've been able to piece together from recent news events and political realignments. Let's face it, this was obviously inevitable to anyone who has read the PNAC space documents. aerocontrols
	__________________ Misunderestimated in 2000. Unredefeated in 2004. My dog does his tricks. My roomate's dog tries to escape the kitchen. We call you to be a people of manners, principles, honour, and purity; to reject the immoral acts of fornication, homosexuality, intoxicants, gambling's, and trading with interest. Source

9th January 2004, 01:51 PM	#18
aerocontrols Illuminator Join Date: Oct 2001 Posts: 3,445	Quote: Originally posted by subgenius Don't recall him being a big fan of space exploration until the recent successes. If I didn't know better I'd suspect some political motive. Behold the Power of Skepticism. Trust your instincts, subby.
	__________________ Misunderestimated in 2000. Unredefeated in 2004. My dog does his tricks. My roomate's dog tries to escape the kitchen. We call you to be a people of manners, principles, honour, and purity; to reject the immoral acts of fornication, homosexuality, intoxicants, gambling's, and trading with interest. Source

9th January 2004, 03:50 PM	#19
phildonnia Master Poster Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Sac'to CA Posts: 2,339	Ok, before we all start dissing the WWN, ask yourself, last time you were stranded in the checkout line, what bastion of journalistic integrity did you pass the time with? Cosmo? Star? The Enquirer??!

9th January 2004, 05:03 PM	#20
Evolver Muse Join Date: May 2003 Posts: 783	Quote: Originally posted by phildonnia Ok, before we all start dissing the WWN, ask yourself, last time you were stranded in the checkout line, what bastion of journalistic integrity did you pass the time with? Cosmo? Star? The Enquirer??! And it's really not that much different from Fox "News".
Evolver Muse Join Date: May 2003 Posts: 783	__________________ "For duty & humanity!" -Dr. Howard, Dr. Fine & Dr. Howard "There's a lot of people that would like to forget about me as soon as possible. I'm on their side." - Frank Zappa "What the hell are you starin' at?" -Duckman

10th January 2004, 04:40 AM	#21
Ladewig Hipster alien Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: not measurable Posts: 16,827	Quote: Bush has evidence that Marty the Martian is in possession of weapons of mass destruction. The Illudium Q-38 Explosive Space Modulator, to be precise. He has plans to use it to blow up the Earth, which obstructs his view of Venus. W has seen this on one of those "documentaries" he watches all day. Marty the Martian is a tyrant and must be brought to justice whatever the cost. Darn you to heck. Now I have an image in my mind of GWB addressing the nation about Marty (Marvin?) and his WMD. How can I take him seriously from now on?
	__________________ Is the JREF message board training wheels for people who hope to one day troll other message boards? It is not that hard to get us to believe you. We are not the major leagues or even the minor leagues. We are Pee-Wee baseball. If you love striking out 10-year-olds, then you'll love trolling our board.

10th January 2004, 08:11 AM	#22
Evolver Muse Join Date: May 2003 Posts: 783	Sorry, it IS Marvin. I'll have to watch more cartoons. Your mistake was taking GWB seriously at all.
Evolver Muse Join Date: May 2003 Posts: 783	__________________ "For duty & humanity!" -Dr. Howard, Dr. Fine & Dr. Howard "There's a lot of people that would like to forget about me as soon as possible. I'm on their side." - Frank Zappa "What the hell are you starin' at?" -Duckman

10th January 2004, 09:07 AM	#23
Monketey Ghost Body of Work Join Date: May 2003 Location: I'm on your screen! Posts: 14,807	What I don't quite get is how W thinks we're going to pay for such a thing. We're pretty well booked up, paying for his war. The guy must think everyone else in the country is as priveleged as he is.
	__________________ _{The membership of this forum is henceforth to refer to me as potato-headed Bobby} _{SSKCAS, member in long standing}

10th January 2004, 02:15 PM	#24
rikzilla Ninja wave: Atomic fire-breath ninja Join Date: Aug 2001 Posts: 5,001	Re: The REAL Reason behind Bush's Moon Announcement Quote: Originally posted by shemp Bush's Plan to Invade the Moon!!! This evil plan must be stopped at once! The moon belongs to the whole world, not just Dubya! You Earthist bastard!! The moon doesn't belong to the "world"....I belongs to the Moonies.
	__________________ "You have not experienced Shakespeare until you have read him in the original Klingon." -Chancellor Gorkon "inside Mr .Skinny lives a big man" -pillory (18 Jan 2007)

10th January 2004, 11:47 PM	#25
Dorian Gray Hypocrisy Detector Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Dayton, Ohio Posts: 20,196	The moon is Bush's Kuwait to Mars' Iraq. Mars is the real target. There's already a no-fly zone there, and even western European craft can't fly there.

11th January 2004, 12:29 AM	#26
Tesserat JREF Kid Join Date: Jan 2002 Posts: 412	Bush's reasoning Hmmmm... 300 million people, if we all give $1000, that's, uh (pulls out calculator, stares at it in confusion, calls secretary) "what's 300 million times 1000?" "three hundred billion, sir" Dubya: That's gotta be enough. $1000 apiece? Heck, I can afford that.
Tesserat JREF Kid Join Date: Jan 2002 Posts: 412	__________________ "Logic is an organized way of going wrong with confidence." If it wasn't for the 97%, I would have posted here about 25 times