The Tommy Sheridan Trial

[Architect]

Well, so far the Herald has kept many of us in Scotland amused with the day-by-day legaltainment that is Tommy & Gail Sheridan's perjury trial, however I thought it perhaps time to flag it up for discussion and make the wider masses aware of it.

Quick summary for our North American cousins: Tommry Sheridan, charismatic leader of the hard-left Scottish Socialist Party, successfully sued the News of the World (a downmarket tabloid) for £200k (or thereby) after they claimed he'd been involved in threesomes at a swingers club. SSP collapses, completely, and disappears from Scottish politics.

Said great victory has, however, now been brought down to earth by aforementioned perjury trial. So far, he' fired his legal team and the evidence isn't looking too good for him:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotlan...-west-11574745

Enjoy. And even odds say that Tommy is on his way to the Big House.......

[Aepervius]

I am relatively cynic when it comes to politics. When I hear somebody denying he had a threesome at a swinger club, I think he just want to hide he had a foursome with a gay midget, an elephant, and a cadaver, while accepting a bribe to demolish an orphan house.

[Architect]

Well, the cynic in me did wonder whether admitting to said three in a bed routines might have improved his popularity....but presumably Mrs. S. had strong views on the subject.

[Rolfe]

I'm afraid I'm in the "guilty as hell" camp on this one, always have been. I've been riveted, but I've been told the subject is not to be mentioned in the house due to high maternal "I'm completely deaved with this" quotient.

The high point was when it was revealed Tommy had (allegedly) declared he intended to "go the Jonathan Aitken route" with the News of the World. Did he not read that one to the end?

And did I miss Tommy's version of the "sword of truth and shield of fair play" speech? That was one of the highlighs of the 20th century for me.

Rolfe.

[Architect]

It was a disappointment because Tommy had always appeared to be a man of conviction and principles, albeit ones I didn't agree with. He was often the voice of the unrepresented and downtrodden, although I wasn't as sympathetic with the wanton debtors as he was. THat he gained so much popularity and so quickly indicated he touched a chord.

However at the end of the day, he was brought low. Yup, a guilty as hell from day one. And now learning that he should have just kepy stuhm.

[Rolfe]

I always thought he was a self-serving demagogue. Couldn't hold a candle to Reid or Sillars, for example.

Rolfe.

[Architect]

Donno about Jim Sillars, there's something about the fella that never quite made me comfortable.

Anyway, in court today Ms. Trolle appears to have had a full day in the stand:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotlan...-west-11597213

"Infammy, Infammy, they've all got it in for me......."

You know, I can't wait to see the witnesses for the defence. They're going to have to be good for him to get anywhere.

[Rolfe]

Well, I agree with you about Sillars, but he sure could rouse a rabble and I'd rather have him that Sheridan any day of the week.

I suspect Sheridan is toast.

Rolfe.

[funk de fino]

Sheridan is a moronic piece of trash. He deserves to go down. Another Galloway type idiot who shames our nation.

[Rolfe]

Crikey, don't insult Gorgeous George! He may be an embarrassment, but at least he has a brain in his head.

Rolfe.

[Hawk one]

Man, Norwegian political crap-throwing feels so boring, what with accusations of bribery and other things that actually has an influence on the political direction things are going. We want more politically irrelevant scandals now!

[funk de fino]

Originally Posted by Rolfe

Crikey, don't insult Gorgeous George! He may be an embarrassment, but at least he has a brain in his head.

Rolfe.

He is a bully, a hypocrite and a self serving twat. He may have a brain but its wired the wrong way.

[Rolfe]

But he did a number on Frank Duggan that is a Thing of Beauty and a Joy Forever.

Rolfe.

[commandlinegamer]

It's a clear case in that either he lied or his former colleagues and friends did. I couldn't give a fig what he gets/got up to but I think the publicity resulting from all this pretty much did for the socialists at the last election.

I have to admit it was a good day to see the News of the World stung for a couple of hundred grand, but of course as they appealed they haven't paid out a penny IIRC.

[commandlinegamer]

Originally Posted by Architect

You know, I can't wait to see the witnesses for the defence.

Andy Coulson. Sheridan claimed to have found a bugging device.

[Rolfe]

Well, we'll see. This is a criminal trial now, of course. They have to decide beyond reasonable doubt that Sheridan was lying in the libel case. We can all make up our own minds on the basis of balance of probability though.

Rolfe.

[Architect]

Well, a fairly dull couple of days in the trial. He visited porn clubs (do such things really exist?), his old mates are all providing pretty damning testimony, and that sleekit fishwife Ms. Curran is now getting stuck in.

The defence evidence is going to have to be absolutely stunning, I tell you.......

[Soapy Sam]

Originally Posted by Architect

Well, a fairly dull couple of days in the trial. He visited porn clubs (do such things really exist?), his old mates are all providing pretty damning testimony, and that sleekit fishwife Ms. Curran is now getting stuck in.

The defence evidence is going to have to be absolutely stunning, I tell you.......

...He was under the control of $cientologist hypnotists, hired by the Reform Club. Pictures inside... . He's a legend in his own mind, is Tommy. Apart from his wife, who gives a toss if he goes to sex clubs? The problem seems to be that Tommy minds. I think he really believed that he honestly won the NotW case, because it really wisnae him bonking someone else's burd. A big boy did it and ran away. The waste of public money is my main gripe. It beats "Emmerdale" for laughs though. . (ETA- A Firefox add-on seems to be affecting my post formatting here. I can't do paragraphs with the return key. Most annoying.)

[commandlinegamer]

Originally Posted by Architect

The defence evidence is going to have to be absolutely stunning, I tell you.......

I have 25-1 that Boris Yeltsin will pop up with an alibi that he and Tommy were drinking mineral water and discussing dialectical materialism on the night in question.

[Soapy Sam]

You mean Boris Johnson shurely? Or are you suggesting TS talks to the dead, among his other miracles?: Mind you, I recall when he did seem vaguely messianic to some people.

[commandlinegamer]

Originally Posted by Soapy Sam

You mean Boris Johnson shurely? Or are you suggesting TS talks to the dead, among his other miracles?: Mind you, I recall when he did seem vaguely messianic to some people.

No, I don't think you can't accuse BJ of having socialist tendencies.

[richardm]

Originally Posted by Soapy Sam

are you suggesting TS talks to the dead

Something like this, presumably:

Originally Posted by Family Guy

Peter Griffin: Your Honor, I call to the stand my surprise witness: The Ghost That Never Lies.


Everyone: OOOOOOOOOOH!


Peter Griffin: But only I can see him and hear him, so I'll tell you what he's doing and saying.


Child Welfare Agent: Objection, Your Honor! This is ridiculous!


Judge: Objection overruled. I'll allow it. You had better be going somewhere with this, Mr. Griffin.


Peter Griffin: Thank you, Your Honor. Ghost That Never Lies, did you witness the events that took place on that fateful day? You did. Well, how interesting. And do you see the culprit or culprits in this courtroom today? You do. Well, would you kindly point him or them out for this court? ...don't point at me, you jackass!

[Soapy Sam]

Surely it's the ghost who says "OOOOOOOOOOH" ?

[Soapy Sam]

Originally Posted by commandlinegamer

No, I don't think you can't accuse BJ of having socialist tendencies.

As the Sole Scot who would still Vote for Margaret Thatcher, I can accuse ANYBODY of having socialist tendencies- including that pinko Cameron for a start.

[Architect]

Not just vote, but Vote? My goodness.......

[Soapy Sam]

I like to think of it as a capitalised label...The Sole Scot who Voted for Thatcher.
Mind you, I suspect I was less alone at the time than the claims of the many might seem to imply.
It's a strange coincidence, for instance, that Rolfe just happens to live in the sole constituency in Scotland to return a Conservative MP. Could the SNP smokescreen be part of an MI5 cover story? Was she really Tommy's Operator? Was the whole NotW thing a cunning plan to destroy Scottish Socialism?

See feature in next week's Daily Record.

[Architect]

The Record blame everything else on the SNP, so why not this??

[Rolfe]

Originally Posted by Soapy Sam

It's a strange coincidence, for instance, that Rolfe just happens to live in the sole constituency in Scotland to return a Conservative MP. Could the SNP smokescreen be part of an MI5 cover story?

Oh, don't you start! CharlesNorrie (the Lockerbie twoofer who got banned for sending Lisa an abusive PM) has recently taken to accusing me of being MI6, and/or CIA, I'm not quite sure which.

He'll probably use your post as further support for his delusions.

Rolfe.

[Soapy Sam]

"If you can help somebody as you go along..."

[Blogiston]

[quote=Architect;6463454]It was a disappointment because Tommy had always appeared to be a man of conviction and principles, albeit ones I didn't agree with. QUOTE]

He is a man of conviction, having picked that up from not paying his poll tax.
[Btw - I waved to him outside the Corporation baths in Calder Street back then...the only famous person ever to receive that honour from me.]

[Didaktylos]

So now he'll be a man with a conviction.

[Architect]

The news that one of the witnesses for the prosecution received £200k for a tape recording of Sheridan's confession won't do much for his credibility, however I suspect that - unless you buy a wholesale SSP consipracy and consequent fabriacated testimony of 8 or so witnesses - there's just too much to stop him going to "the big hoose".

[Rolfe]

I haven't actually been counting. How many witnesses is it now he's accused of lying as part of a conspiracy to get him convicted?

This defence is going to have to be pretty creative....

Rolfe.

[Architect]

He's calling Judy Woods, Anders Bjorkman, and Alex Jones for the defence.

[Blogiston]

Originally Posted by Architect

He's calling Judy Woods, Anders Bjorkman, and Alex Jones for the defence.

Are they like a menage a trois for the defence? Oops, maybe wrong choice of phrase, considering.

[Blogiston]

Which student of Scots Law, whilst conducting his own defence in a recent perjury trial, countered with the rapier-like inquisition, "You were always part of the plot to politically do me in?" ?

[Darat]

Poor mite is unwell: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotlan...-west-11718277

[Rolfe]

Kind of understandable under the circumstances. Most people would be unwell after having been toasted to that extent.

ETA: Shouldn't he have built up a tolerance to being toasted though, with all that sunbed use?

Rolfe.

[Darat]

Surprised he hasn't claimed the SIS is poisoning him!

[Architect]

Originally Posted by Blogiston

Which student of Scots Law, whilst conducting his own defence in a recent perjury trial, countered with the rapier-like inquisition, "You were always part of the plot to politically do me in?" ?

Do you think we'll see him in the conspiracy section of the forum?

On a different note and a propos of the illness item, the press pictures of the Sheridans suggest that the trial is taking its toll. Gail in particular is looking very drawn. Of course, as Rolfe points out, they are right to be worried....