Dealing with the question "What are you?" (Bi-"Racial" Experience)

[openingmind]

I have two adopted siblings who are bi-"racial." (I put "racial" in quotations because "race" to me is such a slippery concept.)

My brother and sister are still quite young (5 and 8), but are definitely aware of skin color. For instance, I was sitting with my sister the other day flipping through a World Encyclopedia and we passed an entry on Africa. She announced to me that she and her brother were African-American. I asked her what that meant. She shrugged. Instead of instructing her, or telling her what to think, I waited for whatever answer she might have. She seemed to get shy about it and in the next moment she was off playing.

My sister had a white parent and an African-American parent; my brother had a African-American parent and Latino parent.

I've talked with a few of my "half-" friends about getting asked "What are you?" And probably it won't be long before my siblings are asked that too. My sister, based on her skin color, will probably be taken for an African-American. My brother will probably get the question, though, since he has a mix of Latino features and African-American features.

Those of you who are biracial, how have you dealt with that question? What was important to you in the quest for identity?

Of course my siblings are just my siblings to me, but from my sister's comment it's clear that she sees herself (and her brother/my brother) as different from the rest of us. There's nothing wrong with that, but I bring it to this forum because I sensed her shyness about it.

However I respond to her sense of difference in the future I want to respond with sensitivity.

[Puppycow]

They probably just want an easy answer to the question that will end the conversation about race. If they look African-American, that may be the easiest, most comfortable identity for them.

[UnrepentantSinner]

I just watched the DVD "African American Lives 2" (which I'd seen broadcast a year or two ago) and while they're too young now, I'd suggest them viewing it (and the first one) when they get into their tweens. One of the most interesting aspects of the two series is when DNA tests are conducted on the participants and many of them find they have large percentages of white genes.

eta, here's the thread I started about AAL2 after it first aired.
http://forums.randi.org/showthread.php?t=106953

[Bikewer]

They had a segment on this question on NPR's Talk Of The Nation just last week. It was pretty interesting. Many of the callers reported having a great deal of trouble in school regarding finding a peer group and "fitting in".
Not having a strong sense of identity...That sort of thing.

[C_Felix]

When I fill out a form (that isn't too serious, nothing like a job appication) I check off "other" and write in "European American"

I'm a New York Mutt (50% Irish, 50% Italian). If I'm not European American, I don't know who is.

[superfreddy]

I hate that bi-racial label. My mom is half Chinese, half Black, my dad is half French, half Spaniard. I was born in Ecuador. So, what on earth does that make me?

Wanna take it further? I married a half Swedish, half Irish woman. Have a son born in the US. What is he?

[openingmind]

Thanks for the NPR tip.

Yeah, "biracial" is almost meaningless. Really, it would be easier if people talked about skin color like they did eye color.

I have a couple of friends who are half white and half Mexican and I've often wondered if their heritage is more Spanish or more indigenous South American. I think the Latino race labels are especially confusing. Spanish, Hispanic, Latino, none of them are clear.

"White" isn't clear. A few decades ago in the US, Italians weren't considered white and now they are.

I think it's interesting that President Obama is referred to again and again as "the first African-American president" when, whenever I've heard him reference himself in public, he's always described himself as mixed. He even called himself a "mutt" once.

But appearances are so powerful to us. We continue to see color even as concepts of race fade away.

With my own brother and sister, all I want to say to them is: "Well, you have darker skin than the rest of us, but it's possible that our genes are more similar than you'd think. You might have more recent ancestors from Africa than me, but I have ancestors from there too. Actually, the evidence shows that we all come from there."

[Tatyana]

I have a friend whose parents are originally from Sri Lanka.

I can remember being out with her and on numerous occasions people would ask 'where are you from?'.

Of course, the answer 'Ealing Broadway' wasn't what they were looking for, but as I have a funny accent, I could often use my immigration status to defer the question.

If people asked again 'Where are you from?', I would typically interject with 'They want to know why you are brown'.

Typically that shuts them up, and my friend never fails to start laughing when she recalls the first time I did this.

[RenaissanceBiker]

Originally Posted by openingmind

I have two adopted siblings who are bi-"racial."

Mrs. RB has one biological brother and six adopted siblings of various backgrounds. Two are half African-Amercan, half Vietnamese. One is half European-American, half Korean. One is Vietnamese. One is Laotian. One is Cherokee. Four of them were air-lifted to this country as infants at the end of the Vietnam War. They all grew up in Southern Georgia, USA. Ask any of them and they'll say they are Americans.

[openingmind]

Originally Posted by Tatyana

If people asked again 'Where are you from?', I would typically interject with 'They want to know why you are brown'.

That's awesome.

@Mrs. RB: Yes, what you are is very much a function of where you are.

[Architect]

Originally Posted by Tatyana

I have a friend whose parents are originally from Sri Lanka.

I can remember being out with her and on numerous occasions people would ask 'where are you from?'.

Of course, the answer 'Ealing Broadway' wasn't what they were looking for, but as I have a funny accent, I could often use my immigration status to defer the question.

If people asked again 'Where are you from?', I would typically interject with 'They want to know why you are brown'.

Typically that shuts them up, and my friend never fails to start laughing when she recalls the first time I did this.

As a humorous aside, my father was born in India (grandfather in the colonial service and all that) and I was born in sub-Saharan Africa when he worked there as an engineer. When I joined the civil service, I required security clearance for one site and had to fill out the requisite questionnaire. I was quickly summoned for interview.

You should have seen the puzzled expression on the face of the younger of the two security men when I arrived, pasty as a sheet with red hair and freckles.

The older of the two twigged immediately, I have to say, but did note that they didn't see it as often now for obvious reasons.

Anyway, years later I won a bottle of Single Malt from a Scot-Asian colleague for a "I'm just as Indian as you are, mate" bet. After that he would sometimes drop in the old "Are you picking on me and Architect because we is Indian?".....


(ETA: Ironically, as a Gael, I probably do qualify as an ethnic minority. But we look just like all the other Scots, so as long as we don't speak our language and stick to that dog's dinner you call English people don't tend to notice too much).

[Soapy Sam]

Though my mother was born in Scotland, her parents were English.


We try not to talk about it.

[keale]

Me Hawaiian Japanese Filipino
My son Hawaiian Japanese Chinese Filipino Puerto Rican German Portugese
In the next few generations that list may be very very long

[EGarrett]

Originally Posted by superfreddy

I hate that bi-racial label. My mom is half Chinese, half Black, my dad is half French, half Spaniard. I was born in Ecuador. So, what on earth does that make me?

Wanna take it further? I married a half Swedish, half Irish woman. Have a son born in the US. What is he?

For some reason I took a moment to figure this out, and using traditional "race" classifications, your son is 75% white, 12.5% Black, 12.5% Chinese. And 100% American.

[EGarrett]

Originally Posted by Tatyana

I have a friend whose parents are originally from Sri Lanka.

I can remember being out with her and on numerous occasions people would ask 'where are you from?'.

Of course, the answer 'Ealing Broadway' wasn't what they were looking for, but as I have a funny accent, I could often use my immigration status to defer the question.

If people asked again 'Where are you from?', I would typically interject with 'They want to know why you are brown'.

Typically that shuts them up, and my friend never fails to start laughing when she recalls the first time I did this.

That's not necessarily a rude question. I've been asked that before (I'm black with small genetic streaks of white and Native American which expressed themselves strongly), and I ultimately determined that it just means people find you interesting and are curious about your background. I look at it the same way as when someone asks where you bought your car, to them it is unique or new and they'd like to know a little more about it.

[Soapy Sam]

I always want to know about peoples' genetic heritage. I find it fascinating. That's true of 100% "white" people who have a mix of Scots, Dutch, German, Swedish and Polish , just as it is of someone who is Indian / Malaysian/ English.
It's just more immediately apparent that someone has an interesting family history if they are obviously of "mixed" physiognomy, so nosy beggars like me are more likely to inquire.
I don't think it's at all racist to be interested in someone's heredity.

[Eddie Dane]

I always tend to ask, I find people's backgrounds interesting.

Don't see why it is offensive to ask at all.

Of course nobody asks me because I'm white. But I'd happily explain my Germanic-Jewish-Polak-Russian heritage.

It matters how you ask, though.

[TragicMonkey]

I couldn't care less, except when playing Nations of the World Sex Bingo. What you do is you get one point for every different nationality you've had sex with. But it's nationality, not race, so you'd get two points if you'd slept with a Jordanian and a Lebanese even if they were both Arabs, and only one point if you'd slept with a black Canadian and a white one. But then people always get into arguments about the UK, does Scotland count separately from England, and so forth, and before you know it you're taking sides on Irish unification and just you try explaining to the cops that real blame for the bar brawl belongs to Henry VIII.

[ZirconBlue]

Originally Posted by openingmind

I think the Latino race labels are especially confusing. Spanish, Hispanic, Latino, none of them are clear.

Spanish = from Spain
Hispanic = from any of the Spanish-speaking countries
Latino = from any of the Latin American countries

Originally Posted by Eddie Dane

I always tend to ask, I find people's backgrounds interesting.

Don't see why it is offensive to ask at all.

Of course nobody asks me because I'm white. But I'd happily explain my Germanic-Jewish-Polak-Russian heritage.

It matters how you ask, though.

I'm often curious, but don't know how to ask discretely. I'm less interested in "people that look different" than "people who have interesting accents", though.

[foxholeatheist]

I feel you, being half Korean I get the 'So what kinda Chinese are ya?" question quite a bit and I have never felt even he slightest bit of offense at the question.

My racial makeup is about the least important or interesting detail about me.