Unitarian Joke

Nova Land · 6th March 2003, 02:59 PM

A friend sent me a card recently that I thought was cute.

The front shows a monk-like figure -- bearded, semi-balding, wearing a loose robe -- smiling beatifically as brightly-colored birds fly above his head. "IT'S ALL GOD...," the caption reads, "AND IT'S ALL GOOD."

(keep going...)

Open the card up, and now the man is standing there scratching his beard and pondering, The caption reads: "Of course, I could be wrong."

(keep going...)

And at the very bottom is a label identifying him as St Francis the Unitarian.

If you're a Unitarian or know much about them, it's pretty funny.

Upchurch · 6th March 2003, 03:30 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Nova Land
A friend sent me a card recently that I thought was cute.

If you have a scanner, I'd love to see that one!

Tricky · 6th March 2003, 03:56 PM

A yuppie buys a new Mercedes and he is so proud, he wants to have it blessed. He goes to a Catholic priest
********
Priest: How can I help you my son.
Yuppie: I want you to bless my new Mercades, Father.
Priest: (horrified) Foul sinner! How dare you ask for the sacrament of the Lord for a material possession?! Begone
********
So he goes to a rabbi
********
Yuppie: Rabbi, I wonder if you could bless my new Mercades?
Rabbi: Vell, dat is coitenly understandable, but ve don't bless tings unless dey is Kosher.
********
Finally the yuppie in desperation goes to a Unitarian minister
********
Yuppie: I know this is a lot to ask, but could you say a blessing for my new Mercades?
Unitarian Minister: (excited) A new Mercades you say? What kind is it. Is it the CLK 320 Cabriolet?
Yuppie: Why yes it is.
Unitarian Minister: Wow. Convertable of course?
Yuppie: Of course
Unitarian Minister: With the adaptive accelerator and speed-sensitive steering?
Yuppie: YES! YES! Does this mean you'll say a blessing for it?
Unitarian Minister: What is this "blessing" thing you keep talking about?

corplinx · 6th March 2003, 06:22 PM

When my wife and I were planning our wedding, she was tried booking at a wedding chapel that turned out to be unitarian. We booked elsewhere and when she asked why, I simply told her that a unitarian probably goes something like this.

"Oh Lord...... Whoever you are..... We are gathered on this beautiful day showered in your love...... or perhaps cowering from your mighty rath.... or perhaps we simple are here in perfect balance... or something......"

I was willing to have a non-secular wedding but unitarian was off the menu.

6th March 2003, 09:36 PM

When a (militantly) atheistic couple asked for advice on where to get married, I recommended they look up their local Unitarian Universalist church. Last I checked, they were still members.

I've never been to one, but everything I've heard indicates that UU weddings tend to be (within reason) customized to the needs of the bride and groom--so if you want to invoke Jesus, you get Jesus, if you want to invoke the Goddess, you get the Goddess, and if you want no religion at all, that's okay, too.

Cheers,

Upchurch · 7th March 2003, 06:55 AM

Actually, my fiancee and I are having our ceremony at a Unitarian church. And, for the most part, we could do anything. The minister we talked to has certain themes that he felt was important that he wants make sure are included and was very knowledgable about all the philosophical underpinnings of each part of the ceremony. It was actually quite interesting to learn about.

6th March 2003, 02:59 PM	#1
Nova Land / Tagger Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Whitleyville, TN Posts: 5,157	Unitarian Joke A friend sent me a card recently that I thought was cute. The front shows a monk-like figure -- bearded, semi-balding, wearing a loose robe -- smiling beatifically as brightly-colored birds fly above his head. "IT'S ALL GOD...," the caption reads, "AND IT'S ALL GOOD." (keep going...) Open the card up, and now the man is standing there scratching his beard and pondering, The caption reads: "Of course, I could be wrong." (keep going...) And at the very bottom is a label identifying him as St Francis the Unitarian. If you're a Unitarian or know much about them, it's pretty funny.

6th March 2003, 03:30 PM	#2
Upchurch Papa Funkosophy Join Date: May 2002 Location: Funky Town (STL, MO) Posts: 23,423	Re: Unitarian Joke Quote: Originally posted by Nova Land A friend sent me a card recently that I thought was cute. If you have a scanner, I'd love to see that one!

6th March 2003, 06:22 PM	#4
corplinx JREF Kid Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 8,944	When my wife and I were planning our wedding, she was tried booking at a wedding chapel that turned out to be unitarian. We booked elsewhere and when she asked why, I simply told her that a unitarian probably goes something like this. "Oh Lord...... Whoever you are..... We are gathered on this beautiful day showered in your love...... or perhaps cowering from your mighty rath.... or perhaps we simple are here in perfect balance... or something......" I was willing to have a non-secular wedding but unitarian was off the menu.
corplinx JREF Kid Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 8,944

6th March 2003, 09:36 PM	#5
Tom Head Guest Posts: n/a	When a (militantly) atheistic couple asked for advice on where to get married, I recommended they look up their local Unitarian Universalist church. Last I checked, they were still members. I've never been to one, but everything I've heard indicates that UU weddings tend to be (within reason) customized to the needs of the bride and groom--so if you want to invoke Jesus, you get Jesus, if you want to invoke the Goddess, you get the Goddess, and if you want no religion at all, that's okay, too. Cheers,
Tom Head Guest Posts: n/a

6th March 2003, 03:56 PM	#3
Tricky Briefly immortal Moderator Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: The Group W bench Posts: 42,345	A yuppie buys a new Mercedes and he is so proud, he wants to have it blessed. He goes to a Catholic priest ****** Priest: How can I help you my son. Yuppie: I want you to bless my new Mercades, Father. Priest: (horrified) Foul sinner! How dare you ask for the sacrament of the Lord for a material possession?! Begone **** So he goes to a rabbi **** Yuppie: Rabbi, I wonder if you could bless my new Mercades? Rabbi: Vell, dat is coitenly understandable, but ve don't bless tings unless dey is Kosher. **** Finally the yuppie in desperation goes to a Unitarian minister ****** Yuppie: I know this is a lot to ask, but could you say a blessing for my new Mercades? Unitarian Minister: (excited) A new Mercades you say? What kind is it. Is it the CLK 320 Cabriolet? Yuppie: Why yes it is. Unitarian Minister: Wow. Convertable of course? Yuppie: Of course Unitarian Minister: With the adaptive accelerator and speed-sensitive steering? Yuppie: YES! YES! Does this mean you'll say a blessing for it? Unitarian Minister: What is this "blessing" thing you keep talking about?

7th March 2003, 06:55 AM	#6
Upchurch Papa Funkosophy Join Date: May 2002 Location: Funky Town (STL, MO) Posts: 23,423	Actually, my fiancee and I are having our ceremony at a Unitarian church. And, for the most part, we could do anything. The minister we talked to has certain themes that he felt was important that he wants make sure are included and was very knowledgable about all the philosophical underpinnings of each part of the ceremony. It was actually quite interesting to learn about.