10 Days till the Rapture - SORRY YET?

Good Lt · 11th May 2011, 07:06 AM

Just asking, since, you know, most of you won't be saved. No matter how good and decent you are. No matter what you donate to charity. No matter how many lives you've saved, no matter hospitals you've opened, no matter how much change you've given a homeless person.

Does the threat of catastrophic destruction of this planet at the hands of a benevolent being and the threat of eternal violence to your soul change your mind about your wicked ways?

If not, 10 days left to make it right!

philkensebben · 11th May 2011, 07:21 AM

It makes me want to drink some beer. Any excuse for a beer.

Vic Vega · 11th May 2011, 07:21 AM

Originally Posted by Good Lt

Just asking, since, you know, most of you won't be saved.

Good!

JAStewart · 11th May 2011, 07:24 AM

Do you think if I claimed to be a fundamentalist Christian work would give me the days off, paid?

Rasmus · 11th May 2011, 07:27 AM

Originally Posted by JAStewart

Do you think if I claimed to be a fundamentalist Christian work would give me the days off, paid?

If I was your boss, I'd make you a deal: The entire month off with full pay - for a 10% pay cut to be applied afterwards. (I am sure the lawyers could work something out that would prevent you from taking advantage of me afterwards, by quitting or having the quality of your work drop etc.)

Good Lt · 11th May 2011, 07:30 AM

Originally Posted by JAStewart

Do you think if I claimed to be a fundamentalist Christian work would give me the days off, paid?

That's actually an interesting question - do you think there will be a lot of fundies taking that day off to, say, be in church?

Special religious observance, maybe? Family emergency?

And would one be paid for that? I don't see May 21 on my company calendar...probably becuase they're hateful anti-Christian bigots.

Foster Zygote · 11th May 2011, 07:35 AM

Originally Posted by philkensebben

It makes me want to drink some beer. Any excuse for a beer.

This post makes me want to drink a beer.

Rasmus · 11th May 2011, 07:36 AM

Originally Posted by Good Lt

That's actually an interesting question - do you think there will be a lot of fundies taking that day off to, say, be in church?

Special religious observance, maybe? Family emergency?

And would one be paid for that? I don't see May 21 on my company calendar...probably becuase they're hateful anti-Christian bigots.

It's on a Saturday?

That's sure gonna ruin my weekend!

(I am sure I am not the first one to observe this, but it truly only has occurred to me just now ..)

DC · 11th May 2011, 07:39 AM

Rapture ? sounds to good to be true. Someone will come and get all those crazy people that believe in this disgusting monster YHWH and bring them to another place? i wish it would happen, i really do.

Good Lt · 11th May 2011, 07:42 AM

Originally Posted by Rasmus

It's on a Saturday?

That's sure gonna ruin my weekend!

(I am sure I am not the first one to observe this, but it truly only has occurred to me just now ..)

Geez.

The only truly great day of most people's weeks (no work, and no work tomorrow, either).

What a crock.

The Fallen Serpent · 11th May 2011, 07:56 AM

Originally Posted by Foster Zygote

This post makes me want to drink a beer.

Now I want one too.

:beer:

Hooray for days off and beer in hand.

So when the Fundies get raptured, finders keepers on the beer they left? A few I know keep well stocked of good beer.

Good Lt · 11th May 2011, 08:03 AM

And just to clarify, doesn't Jesus at some point in scripture say that nobody shall know the time or date of the end of the world or of his second coming?

Or something like that?

Aepervius · 11th May 2011, 08:26 AM

Originally Posted by Good Lt

Just asking, since, you know, most of you won't be saved. No matter how good and decent you are. No matter what you donate to charity. No matter how many lives you've saved, no matter hospitals you've opened, no matter how much change you've given a homeless person.

Does the threat of catastrophic destruction of this planet at the hands of a benevolent being and the threat of eternal violence to your soul change your mind about your wicked ways?

If not, 10 days left to make it right!

It does not make me sorry. On the other hand it makes me rethink my plan to grab a bag of popcorn while reading ther "rapture" believer post. I nearly chocked on popcorn already twice.

I might have to switch to something which will not kill me when I am exploding in laughter.

AdMan · 11th May 2011, 08:26 AM

Originally Posted by Good Lt

And just to clarify, doesn't Jesus at some point in scripture say that nobody shall know the time or date of the end of the world or of his second coming?

Or something like that?

Yup:

Matthew 24

Quote:

35 Heaven and earth shall pass away, but my words shall not pass away.
36 But of that day and that hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels of heaven, but my Father only.

Of course, he also had just said:

Quote:

34 Verily I say unto you, This generation shall not pass, till all these things be fulfilled.

So who knows what to take seriously?

Madalch · 11th May 2011, 10:58 AM

I wonder- if you broke into a fundy's house on Sunday morning, and told them that you were sure the house would be empty because they'd be raptured, do you think they'd decline to press charges?

The Fallen Serpent · 11th May 2011, 11:02 AM

Originally Posted by Madalch

I wonder- if you broke into a fundy's house on Sunday morning, and told them that you were sure the house would be empty because they'd be raptured, do you think they'd decline to press charges?

Keep in mind how few believe in this type of Rapture, and how many fewer believe in this specific date. Most of the people I know who believe in the Rapture believe it is coming soon.... just not in their lifetime.

Stankeye · 11th May 2011, 11:19 AM

Originally Posted by Good Lt

Just asking, since, you know, most of you won't be saved. No matter how good and decent you are. No matter what you donate to charity. No matter how many lives you've saved, no matter hospitals you've opened, no matter how much change you've given a homeless person.

Does the threat of catastrophic destruction of this planet at the hands of a benevolent being and the threat of eternal violence to your soul change your mind about your wicked ways?

If not, 10 days left to make it right!

It's on Armed Forces Day? That's what my calendar says.

Weak Kitten · 11th May 2011, 11:46 AM

Originally Posted by DC

Rapture ? sounds to good to be true. Someone will come and get all those crazy people that believe in this disgusting monster YHWH and bring them to another place? i wish it would happen, i really do.

The problem isn't the part where those people go away. The problem is that they are then apparently given unlimited access to the "disasters" button from SimCity.

I've always wondered about that part. I mean, why not just remove the people you want and then switch off the universe. Why make everyone suffer before switching them all off? Seems like something a bored child would do in a video game.

Piscivore · 11th May 2011, 11:49 AM

Originally Posted by Good Lt

...the threat of catastrophic destruction of this planet at the hands of a benevolent being...

There's your trouble, right there.

clown · 11th May 2011, 12:26 PM

I always liked this quote from Terry Pratchett's and Neal Gaiman's "Good omens." Seems pretty appropriate for this thread. Things in italic come from the mouth of an angel, or at least, a voice of an angel moving through televangelists body (it makes sense in context

. Here it is:

Quote:

"Before the Destruction comes‑before the four horsemen of the apocalypse ride out‑before the nukerler missiles rain down on the unbe*lievers‑there will come The Rapture.
"What's the Rapture? I hear you cry.
"When the Rapture comes, brothers and sisters, all the True Believers will be swept up in the air‑it don't mind what you're doin', you could be in the bath, you could be at work, you could be drivin' your car, or just sittin' at home readin' your Bible. Suddenly you'll be up there in the air, in perfect and incorruptible bodies. And you'll be up in the air, lookin' down at the world as the years of destruction arrive. Only the faithful will be saved, only those of you who have been born again will avoid the pain and the death and the horror and the burnin'. Then will come the great war between Heaven and Hell, and Heaven will destroy the forces of Hell, and God shall wipe away the tears of the sufferin', and there shall be no more death, or sorrow, or cryin', or pain, and he shall rayon in glory for ever and ever‑"
He stopped, suddenly.
"Well, nice try," he said, in a completely different voice, "only it won't be like that at all. Not really.
"I mean, you're right about the fire and war, all that. But that Rapture stuff well, if you could see them all in Heaven‑serried ranks of them as far as the mind can follow and beyond, league after league of us, flaming swords, all that, well, what I'm trying to say is who has time to go round picking people out and popping them up in the air to sneer at the people dying of radiation sickness on the parched and burning earth below them? If that's your idea of a morally acceptable time, I might add.
"And as for that stuff about Heaven inevitably winning . . . Well, to be honest, if it were that cut and dried, there wouldn't be a Celestial War in the first place, would there? It's propaganda. Pure and simple. We've got no more than a fifty percent chance of coming out on top. You might just as well send money to a Satanist hotline to cover your bets, although to be frank when the fire falls and the seas of blood rise you lot are all going to be civilian casualties either way. Between our war and your war, they're going to kill everyone and let God sort it out‑right?
"Anyway, sorry to stand here wittering, I've just a quick question*where am I?"
Marvin O. Bagman was gradually going purple.
"It's the devil! Lord protect me! The devil is speakin' through me!" he erupted, and interrupted himself, "Oh no, quite the opposite in fact. I'm an angel. Ah. This has to be America, doesn't it? So sorry, can't stay . . . "
There was a pause. Marvin tried to open his mouth, but nothing happened. Whatever was in his head looked around. He looked at the studio crew, those who weren't phoning the police, or sobbing in corners. He looked at the gray‑faced cameramen.
"Gosh, " he said, "am I on television?"

*ETA after cwalner's note. Thank you for making me pay attention, sir.

cwalner · 11th May 2011, 12:34 PM

Originally Posted by clown

I always liked this quote from Terry Pratchett's "Good omens."

Please get your attributions correct. "Good Omens" is not just Pratchett's work. It is also Neil Gaiman's

Although I will admit the quoted passage has more of a Pratchett feel to it.

What Slayde Says · 11th May 2011, 12:55 PM

Chill out everyone. I talked to god last night and convinced her to postpone it until further notice. She's actually pretty reasonable when you get to know her. Cute too.

Your welcome.

Brown · 11th May 2011, 01:06 PM

Saw a sticker on the back of a car today that said:

Jesus is coming
LOOK BUSY

AdMan · 11th May 2011, 01:13 PM

I really like Richard Dawkins's take on all this nonsense.

Sherman Bay · 11th May 2011, 02:41 PM

I have some neighbors that I would like to get rid of. My hope is they will be raptured, and same me the trouble of eliminating them.

Soapy Sam · 11th May 2011, 03:29 PM

There seems to be a lot of "End of the World" dates in vogue this year.
I wonder how many there will be next year.

Apathia · 11th May 2011, 03:41 PM

Nammyoho Renge Kyo!
Nammyoho Renge Kyo!
Nammyoho Renge Kyo!
Nammyoho Renge Kyo!
Nammyoho Renge Kyo!

roger · 11th May 2011, 03:43 PM

Originally Posted by Good Lt

Just asking, since, you know, most of you won't be saved.

I don't want to be saved, I want to be spent.

thaiboxerken · 11th May 2011, 03:45 PM

I wonder how many of these people still have retirement accounts.

Denver · 11th May 2011, 03:51 PM

I think it's a bit telling that the web site of Camping's radio show still allows you to make donations, and even to set it up as a recurring donation, that can start after May 21.

NWO Sentryman · 11th May 2011, 04:06 PM

i'm just sorry that i won't get to play DNF.

Nosi · 11th May 2011, 04:38 PM

Considering that Jesus is a Jewish carpenter from the Middle East I do sometimes wonder... Tables and Chairs will Rain Upon us...

Beerina · 11th May 2011, 05:09 PM

When I go to stand before God, I'm gonna do my best to pee in His Face.

Sherman Bay · 11th May 2011, 06:04 PM

Originally Posted by Denver

I think it's a bit telling that the web site of Camping's radio show still allows you to make donations, and even to set it up as a recurring donation, that can start after May 21.

Someone's gotta pay to update those billboards.

Johny2x4 · 11th May 2011, 06:47 PM

That means I´m not getting to see the new TF movie?

Craig4 · 12th May 2011, 08:15 AM

Originally Posted by Good Lt

Just asking, since, you know, most of you won't be saved. No matter how good and decent you are. No matter what you donate to charity. No matter how many lives you've saved, no matter hospitals you've opened, no matter how much change you've given a homeless person.

Does the threat of catastrophic destruction of this planet at the hands of a benevolent being and the threat of eternal violence to your soul change your mind about your wicked ways?

If not, 10 days left to make it right!

Funny.

Astreja · 12th May 2011, 06:42 PM

Originally Posted by Apathia

Nammyoho Renge Kyo!
Nammyoho Renge Kyo!
Nammyoho Renge Kyo!
Nammyoho Renge Kyo!
Nammyoho Renge Kyo!

(pauses to wonder what her rotten ex did with the no-longer-in-service Gohonzon she left in a suitcase of woo in the old house)

I see your daimoku and raise you a case of La Fin du Monde beer.

KingMerv00 · 12th May 2011, 06:46 PM

Pfft...9 days. Plenty of time to cobble together some last minute remorse.

Nosi · 12th May 2011, 10:04 PM

Time for a "Not Flippin' Invited" party! I've got the Kegger!

I Am The Scum · 13th May 2011, 05:41 AM

You guys should take this stuff seriously.

Signs and wonders!

11th May 2011, 07:06 AM	#1
Good Lt Graduate Poster Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Satellite of Love Posts: 1,487	10 Days till the Rapture - SORRY YET? Just asking, since, you know, most of you won't be saved. No matter how good and decent you are. No matter what you donate to charity. No matter how many lives you've saved, no matter hospitals you've opened, no matter how much change you've given a homeless person. Does the threat of catastrophic destruction of this planet at the hands of a benevolent being and the threat of eternal violence to your soul change your mind about your wicked ways? If not, 10 days left to make it right!
	__________________ Sorrowful and great is the artist's destiny. - Liszt Certainly, in the topsy-turvy world of heavy rock, having a good solid piece of wood in your hand is often useful. - Ian Faith

11th May 2011, 07:21 AM	#3
Vic Vega Graduate Poster Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: The Cradle of Liberty Posts: 1,075	Originally Posted by Good Lt Just asking, since, you know, most of you won't be saved. Good!
	__________________ "The sleeping and the dead Are but as pictures. 'Tis the eye of childhood That fears a painted devil." --Shakespeare - Macbeth

11th May 2011, 07:24 AM	#4
JAStewart Graduate Poster Tagger Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Shetland Islands Posts: 1,523	Do you think if I claimed to be a fundamentalist Christian work would give me the days off, paid?
	__________________ Ignorance and google is a horrible combination. - BigAl Argumentum ad YouTubeum - sts60

11th May 2011, 07:27 AM	#5
Rasmus Philosopher Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 6,138	Originally Posted by JAStewart Do you think if I claimed to be a fundamentalist Christian work would give me the days off, paid? If I was your boss, I'd make you a deal: The entire month off with full pay - for a 10% pay cut to be applied afterwards. (I am sure the lawyers could work something out that would prevent you from taking advantage of me afterwards, by quitting or having the quality of your work drop etc.)
Rasmus Philosopher Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 6,138	__________________ "Well, the religious community could not just make it up." - JetLeg

11th May 2011, 07:30 AM	#6
Good Lt Graduate Poster Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Satellite of Love Posts: 1,487	Originally Posted by JAStewart Do you think if I claimed to be a fundamentalist Christian work would give me the days off, paid? That's actually an interesting question - do you think there will be a lot of fundies taking that day off to, say, be in church? Special religious observance, maybe? Family emergency? And would one be paid for that? I don't see May 21 on my company calendar...probably becuase they're hateful anti-Christian bigots.
	__________________ Sorrowful and great is the artist's destiny. - Liszt Certainly, in the topsy-turvy world of heavy rock, having a good solid piece of wood in your hand is often useful. - Ian Faith

11th May 2011, 07:21 AM	#2
philkensebben Graduate Poster Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Germany Posts: 1,831	It makes me want to drink some beer. Any excuse for a beer.

11th May 2011, 07:35 AM	#7
Foster Zygote Dental Floss Tycoon Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Between the pit of man's fears and the summit of his knowledge Posts: 14,393	Originally Posted by philkensebben It makes me want to drink some beer. Any excuse for a beer. This post makes me want to drink a beer.
	__________________ It looks just like a Telefunken U47... You'll love it.

11th May 2011, 07:36 AM	#8
Rasmus Philosopher Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 6,138	Originally Posted by Good Lt That's actually an interesting question - do you think there will be a lot of fundies taking that day off to, say, be in church? Special religious observance, maybe? Family emergency? And would one be paid for that? I don't see May 21 on my company calendar...probably becuase they're hateful anti-Christian bigots. It's on a Saturday? That's sure gonna ruin my weekend! (I am sure I am not the first one to observe this, but it truly only has occurred to me just now ..)
Rasmus Philosopher Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 6,138	__________________ "Well, the religious community could not just make it up." - JetLeg

11th May 2011, 07:39 AM	#9
DC dedicated aphilatelist Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Switzerland Posts: 21,651	Rapture ? sounds to good to be true. Someone will come and get all those crazy people that believe in this disgusting monster YHWH and bring them to another place? i wish it would happen, i really do.
	__________________ AGW is a fact, including the A, face it

11th May 2011, 07:42 AM	#10
Good Lt Graduate Poster Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Satellite of Love Posts: 1,487	Originally Posted by Rasmus It's on a Saturday? That's sure gonna ruin my weekend! (I am sure I am not the first one to observe this, but it truly only has occurred to me just now ..) Geez. The only truly great day of most people's weeks (no work, and no work tomorrow, either). What a crock.
	__________________ Sorrowful and great is the artist's destiny. - Liszt Certainly, in the topsy-turvy world of heavy rock, having a good solid piece of wood in your hand is often useful. - Ian Faith

11th May 2011, 07:56 AM	#11
The Fallen Serpent Graduate Poster Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Not Oregon, Texas Posts: 1,922	Originally Posted by Foster Zygote This post makes me want to drink a beer. Now I want one too. :beer: Hooray for days off and beer in hand. So when the Fundies get raptured, finders keepers on the beer they left? A few I know keep well stocked of good beer.
	__________________ You don't use science to show that you are right, you use science to become right. - Randall Munroe

11th May 2011, 08:03 AM	#12
Good Lt Graduate Poster Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Satellite of Love Posts: 1,487	And just to clarify, doesn't Jesus at some point in scripture say that nobody shall know the time or date of the end of the world or of his second coming? Or something like that?
	__________________ Sorrowful and great is the artist's destiny. - Liszt Certainly, in the topsy-turvy world of heavy rock, having a good solid piece of wood in your hand is often useful. - Ian Faith

11th May 2011, 08:26 AM	#13
Aepervius Philosopher Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Bierland. I mean , germany. Posts: 7,752	Originally Posted by Good Lt Just asking, since, you know, most of you won't be saved. No matter how good and decent you are. No matter what you donate to charity. No matter how many lives you've saved, no matter hospitals you've opened, no matter how much change you've given a homeless person. Does the threat of catastrophic destruction of this planet at the hands of a benevolent being and the threat of eternal violence to your soul change your mind about your wicked ways? If not, 10 days left to make it right! It does not make me sorry. On the other hand it makes me rethink my plan to grab a bag of popcorn while reading ther "rapture" believer post. I nearly chocked on popcorn already twice. I might have to switch to something which will not kill me when I am exploding in laughter.
	__________________ Omnes Blessant Ultima necat "I want, and this is my last and most dear wish, I want that the last of the king be strangled with the guts of the last priest" (Jean Meslier / 1664-1729 / Testament) A very early french atheist, a catholic priest in life.

11th May 2011, 08:26 AM	#14
AdMan Philosopher Join Date: Feb 2010 Posts: 7,173	Originally Posted by Good Lt And just to clarify, doesn't Jesus at some point in scripture say that nobody shall know the time or date of the end of the world or of his second coming? Or something like that? Yup: Matthew 24 Quote: 35 Heaven and earth shall pass away, but my words shall not pass away. 36 But of that day and that hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels of heaven, but my Father only. Of course, he also had just said: Quote: 34 Verily I say unto you, This generation shall not pass, till all these things be fulfilled. So who knows what to take seriously?
AdMan Philosopher Join Date: Feb 2010 Posts: 7,173	__________________ It is far better to grasp the universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring. - Carl Sagan

11th May 2011, 10:58 AM	#15
Madalch The Jester Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: The wet coast. Posts: 8,701	I wonder- if you broke into a fundy's house on Sunday morning, and told them that you were sure the house would be empty because they'd be raptured, do you think they'd decline to press charges?
	__________________ As the size of an explosion increases, the number of social situations it is incapable of resolving approaches zero. -Vaarsuvius It's a rum state of affairs when you feel like punching a jar of mayonnaise in the face. -Charlie Brooker

11th May 2011, 11:02 AM	#16
The Fallen Serpent Graduate Poster Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Not Oregon, Texas Posts: 1,922	Originally Posted by Madalch I wonder- if you broke into a fundy's house on Sunday morning, and told them that you were sure the house would be empty because they'd be raptured, do you think they'd decline to press charges? Keep in mind how few believe in this type of Rapture, and how many fewer believe in this specific date. Most of the people I know who believe in the Rapture believe it is coming soon.... just not in their lifetime.
	__________________ You don't use science to show that you are right, you use science to become right. - Randall Munroe

11th May 2011, 11:19 AM	#17
Stankeye Thinker Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: CA, USA Posts: 149	Originally Posted by Good Lt Just asking, since, you know, most of you won't be saved. No matter how good and decent you are. No matter what you donate to charity. No matter how many lives you've saved, no matter hospitals you've opened, no matter how much change you've given a homeless person. Does the threat of catastrophic destruction of this planet at the hands of a benevolent being and the threat of eternal violence to your soul change your mind about your wicked ways? If not, 10 days left to make it right! It's on Armed Forces Day? That's what my calendar says.

11th May 2011, 11:46 AM	#18
Weak Kitten Graduate Poster Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: Lost and lonely...will you be my friend? Posts: 1,722	Originally Posted by DC Rapture ? sounds to good to be true. Someone will come and get all those crazy people that believe in this disgusting monster YHWH and bring them to another place? i wish it would happen, i really do. The problem isn't the part where those people go away. The problem is that they are then apparently given unlimited access to the "disasters" button from SimCity. I've always wondered about that part. I mean, why not just remove the people you want and then switch off the universe. Why make everyone suffer before switching them all off? Seems like something a bored child would do in a video game.
	__________________ A quick reminder to all participants that although incomprehensibility is not against the Membership Agreement, incivility is. Please try and remember this, and keep your exchanges polite and respectful. -arthwollipot

11th May 2011, 11:49 AM	#19
Piscivore Smelling fishy Join Date: May 2004 Location: Home is wherever I'm with you Posts: 26,457	Originally Posted by Good Lt ...the threat of catastrophic destruction of this planet at the hands of a benevolent being... There's your trouble, right there.
	__________________ It's always been Wankershim. "...untrustworthy obnoxious twerp." - CFLarsen

11th May 2011, 12:26 PM	#20
clown Thinker Join Date: Oct 2010 Posts: 186	I always liked this quote from Terry Pratchett's and Neal Gaiman's "Good omens." Seems pretty appropriate for this thread. Things in italic come from the mouth of an angel, or at least, a voice of an angel moving through televangelists body (it makes sense in context . Here it is: Quote: "Before the Destruction comes‑before the four horsemen of the apocalypse ride out‑before the nukerler missiles rain down on the unbelievers‑there will come The Rapture. "What's the Rapture? I hear you cry. "When the Rapture comes, brothers and sisters, all the True Believers will be swept up in the air‑it don't mind what you're doin', you could be in the bath, you could be at work, you could be drivin' your car, or just sittin' at home readin' your Bible. Suddenly you'll be up there in the air, in perfect and incorruptible bodies. And you'll be up in the air, lookin' down at the world as the years of destruction arrive. Only the faithful will be saved, only those of you who have been born again will avoid the pain and the death and the horror and the burnin'. Then will come the great war between Heaven and Hell, and Heaven will destroy the forces of Hell, and God shall wipe away the tears of the sufferin', and there shall be no more death, or sorrow, or cryin', or pain, and he shall rayon in glory for ever and ever‑" He stopped, suddenly. "Well, nice try,"* he said, in a completely different voice, "only it won't be like that at all. Not really. "I mean, you're right about the fire and war, all that. But that Rapture stuff well, if you could see them all in Heaven‑serried ranks of them as far as the mind can follow and beyond, league after league of us, flaming swords, all that, well, what I'm trying to say is who has time to go round picking people out and popping them up in the air to sneer at the people dying of radiation sickness on the parched and burning earth below them? If that's your idea of a morally acceptable time, I might add. "And as for that stuff about Heaven inevitably winning . . . Well, to be honest, if it were that cut and dried, there wouldn't be a Celestial War in the first place, would there? It's propaganda. Pure and simple. We've got no more than a fifty percent chance of coming out on top. You might just as well send money to a Satanist hotline to cover your bets, although to be frank when the fire falls and the seas of blood rise you lot are all going to be civilian casualties either way. Between our war and your war, they're going to kill everyone and let God sort it out‑right? "Anyway, sorry to stand here wittering, I've just a quick questionwhere am I?" Marvin O. Bagman was gradually going purple. "It's the devil! Lord protect me! The devil is speakin' through me!" he erupted, and interrupted himself, "Oh no, quite the opposite in fact. I'm an angel. Ah. This has to be America, doesn't it? So sorry, can't stay . . .* " There was a pause. Marvin tried to open his mouth, but nothing happened. Whatever was in his head looked around. He looked at the studio crew, those who weren't phoning the police, or sobbing in corners. He looked at the gray‑faced cameramen. "Gosh, " he said, "am I on television?" *ETA after cwalner's note. Thank you for making me pay attention, sir.
clown Thinker Join Date: Oct 2010 Posts: 186	__________________ I don't do nice. Granny Weatherwax, Carpe Jugulum Once you know the difference between Right and Wrong, you can't choose to do Wrong. What people really need is usually not what they wish for. Last edited by clown; 11th May 2011 at 12:49 PM. Reason: added extra author in attribution

11th May 2011, 12:34 PM	#21
cwalner Philosopher Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Deepest Darkest Indiana Posts: 5,699	Originally Posted by clown I always liked this quote from Terry Pratchett's "Good omens." Please get your attributions correct. "Good Omens" is not just Pratchett's work. It is also Neil Gaiman's Although I will admit the quoted passage has more of a Pratchett feel to it.
	__________________ Vecini - Inconceivable! Inigo - You keep on using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

11th May 2011, 12:55 PM	#22
What Slayde Says Student Join Date: Feb 2011 Posts: 31	Chill out everyone. I talked to god last night and convinced her to postpone it until further notice. She's actually pretty reasonable when you get to know her. Cute too. Your welcome.
What Slayde Says Student Join Date: Feb 2011 Posts: 31

11th May 2011, 01:06 PM	#23
Brown Penultimate Amazing Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Twin Cities, Canada Posts: 12,150	Saw a sticker on the back of a car today that said: Jesus is coming LOOK BUSY
	__________________ Klaatu: I'm impatient with stupidity. My people have learned to live without it. Mr. Harley: I'm afraid my people haven't. I am very sorry. I wish it were otherwise. -- The Day The Earth Stood Still, screenplay by Edmund H. North "Don't you get me wrong. I only want to know." -- Judas in Jesus Christ Superstar, lyrics by Tim Rice

11th May 2011, 01:13 PM	#24
AdMan Philosopher Join Date: Feb 2010 Posts: 7,173	I really like Richard Dawkins's take on all this nonsense.
AdMan Philosopher Join Date: Feb 2010 Posts: 7,173	__________________ It is far better to grasp the universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring. - Carl Sagan

11th May 2011, 02:41 PM	#25
Sherman Bay Graduate Poster Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 1,074	I have some neighbors that I would like to get rid of. My hope is they will be raptured, and same me the trouble of eliminating them.

11th May 2011, 03:29 PM	#26
Soapy Sam NLH Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 25,885	There seems to be a lot of "End of the World" dates in vogue this year. I wonder how many there will be next year.
Soapy Sam NLH Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 25,885

11th May 2011, 03:41 PM	#27
Apathia Master Poster Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Tempe, AZ Posts: 2,936	Nammyoho Renge Kyo! Nammyoho Renge Kyo! Nammyoho Renge Kyo! Nammyoho Renge Kyo! Nammyoho Renge Kyo!
	__________________ "At the Supreme Court level where we work, 90 percent of any decision is emotional. The rational part of us supplies the reasons for supporting our predilections." Justice William O. Douglas "Humans aren't rational creatures but rationalizing creatures." Author Unknown

11th May 2011, 03:43 PM	#28
roger Penultimate Amazing Join Date: May 2002 Location: Mountain View, CA Posts: 11,021	Originally Posted by Good Lt Just asking, since, you know, most of you won't be saved. I don't want to be saved, I want to be spent.
	__________________ May your trails be crooked, winding, lonesome, dangerous, leading to the most amazing view. May your mountains rise into and above the clouds. - Edward Abbey Climb the mountains and get their good tidings. Nature's peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees. The winds will blow their own freshness into you, and the storms their energy, while cares will drop off like autumn leaves. - John Muir

11th May 2011, 03:45 PM	#29
thaiboxerken Penultimate Amazing Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Portland, Oregon Posts: 20,963	I wonder how many of these people still have retirement accounts.
	__________________ All national institutions of churches, whether Jewish, Christian or Turkish, appear to me no other than human inventions, set up to terrify and enslave mankind, and monopolize power & profit - Thomas Paine

11th May 2011, 03:51 PM	#30
Denver Philosopher Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Denver, Colorado Posts: 6,599	I think it's a bit telling that the web site of Camping's radio show still allows you to make donations, and even to set it up as a recurring donation, that can start after May 21.

11th May 2011, 04:06 PM	#31
NWO Sentryman Proud NWO Gatekeeper Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Quantum Gate to the NWO Posts: 3,774	i'm just sorry that i won't get to play DNF.
	__________________ If I now say "dominoes", you won't think "pizza". Will you? - FireGarden on the Middle East

11th May 2011, 04:38 PM	#32
Nosi Master Poster Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 2,731	Considering that Jesus is a Jewish carpenter from the Middle East I do sometimes wonder... Tables and Chairs will Rain Upon us...
Nosi Master Poster Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 2,731	__________________ __________ Hiding from the

11th May 2011, 05:09 PM	#33
Beerina Sarcastic Conqueror of Notions Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: A floating island above the clouds Posts: 23,835	When I go to stand before God, I'm gonna do my best to pee in His Face.
	__________________ "Great innovations should not be forced [by way of] slender majorities." - Thomas Jefferson The government should nationalize it! Socialized, single-payer video game development and sales *now!* More, cheaper, better games, right? Right?

11th May 2011, 06:04 PM	#34
Sherman Bay Graduate Poster Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 1,074	Originally Posted by Denver I think it's a bit telling that the web site of Camping's radio show still allows you to make donations, and even to set it up as a recurring donation, that can start after May 21. Someone's gotta pay to update those billboards.

11th May 2011, 06:47 PM	#35
Johny2x4 Critical Thinker Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: Portugal Posts: 472	That means I´m not getting to see the new TF movie?
	Last edited by Johny2x4; 11th May 2011 at 06:50 PM.