Tongue in cheek syllogism

[Art Vandelay]

Premise one: Character is what you do when you think no one is watching.

Premise two: Christians believe that God is always watching.

Conclusion: Christians have no character.

[neutrino_cannon]

Premise 1: newbies lack experience.
Premise 2: Experience is necessary to consistently post good material.
Conclusion: E=mc^2

[Abdul Alhazred]

Quote:

Originally posted by Art Vandelay
Premise one: Character is what you do when you think no one is watching.

Premise two: Christians believe that God is always watching.

Conclusion: Christians have no character.

Cute, but in the final analysis just plain silly.

God isn't "watching", He just knows everything, assuming He exists.

Character is knowing what is right and doing it.

Yes there is some problem in some cases pinning down what is right.

But your syllogism sucks.

[Yahweh]

Premise 1: You are made of atoms.

Premise 2: The Laws of Physics control atoms.

Conclusion: The Laws of Physic Control YOU!

[rebecca]

Quote:

Originally posted by neutrino_cannon
Premise 1: newbies lack experience.
Premise 2: Experience is necessary to consistently post good material.
Conclusion: E=mc^2

I'd like to object to this - you don't need experience to consistently post good material. You need common sense, civility, and an openess to new ideas.

Or maybe I just proved your point.

Gulp.

[Art Vandelay]

Quote:

Originally posted by Abdul Alhazred


Cute, but in the final analysis just plain silly.

God isn't "watching", He just knows everything, assuming He exists.

Character is knowing what is right and doing it.

Yes there is some problem in some cases pinning down what is right.

But your syllogism sucks.

You do realize I was kidding, right? I thought that was pretty clear.

But I think that it does have a kernal of truth. The idea behind premise one is that character is not simply knowing what's right and doing it, but doing it when one doesn't think that one will get credit for it. Doing the right thing to impress other people doesn't really reveal character. The distinction between "watching" and "knowing" isn't really relevant in this case. Whatever the putative mechanism, Christians believe that God will be aware of their actions, and therefore they can never do something just for the sake of doing it. Wanting God to have a favorable opinion is always a possible motivation.

[neutrino_cannon]

Quote:

Originally posted by rebecca


I'd like to object to this - you don't need experience to consistently post good material. You need common sense, civility, and an openess to new ideas.

Or maybe I just proved your point.

Gulp.

TLOP controls YOU controls KEYBOARD, controls CTHULHU FHTAGN!

CIVILITY is AN I-LLUSION, caused by GRAVITONS.

HUMANS are FROM MARS.

I THINK FISH FISH I AM DRUNK

[Yahweh]

Quote:

Originally posted by neutrino_cannon
TLOP controls YOU controls KEYBOARD, controls CTHULHU FHTAGN!

CIVILITY is AN I-LLUSION, caused by GRAVITONS.

HUMANS are FROM MARS.

I THINK FISH FISH I AM DRUNK

This makes so much sense

[neutrino_cannon]

Quote:

Originally posted by Yahweh

This makes so much sense

I'm sure I could've got more into it, but I was running out of ideas.

Hmm... lessee:

Premise 1: God will blind the A-theist on thursday.
Premise 2: Slouch-god has thus far fallen through on his de-ocularization commitments .
Conclusion: My original prediction is now reenforced!

Except that that ain't mine. Now I'm sad too.

*offers Yahweh a bottle of 200 proof alcohol, proceeds to drown own troubles in ethyl*

[Thomas]

Don't give the woowoo's ideas now. Invalid syllogisms have been their best weapon since Aristotle published his crap.

Not to be a nag, but only 15 of the 256 permutations of the syllogisms are considered valid today. Here you can test if your syllogisms are valid. And then of course there is all the fallacies.

Major premise: Skeptics can't jump to Andromeda.

Minor premise: Salmons can't jump to Andromeda.

Conclusion: Skeptics are salmons.

There's no room for fun in philosophy

[rebecca]

Quote:

Originally posted by Art Vandelay
But I think that it does have a kernal of truth. The idea behind premise one is that character is not simply knowing what's right and doing it, but doing it when one doesn't think that one will get credit for it. Doing the right thing to impress other people doesn't really reveal character. The distinction between "watching" and "knowing" isn't really relevant in this case. Whatever the putative mechanism, Christians believe that God will be aware of their actions, and therefore they can never do something just for the sake of doing it. Wanting God to have a favorable opinion is always a possible motivation.

Hi Art,

What if I stared at you all day? You know, just followed you around, watching every thing you do. Maybe take notes on a legal pad.
Congratulations, you no longer have any character, due to this ingenius logic:

Premise one: Character is what you do when you think no one is watching.
Premise two: Art KNOWS that rebecca is always watching.
Conclusion: Art has no character.

How sad for you.

[Upchurch]

Quote:

Originally posted by rebecca

rebecca is always watching.

Only God sees everything Art does.
rebecca sees everythng Art does.
rebecca is God.

[rebecca]

Quote:

Originally posted by Upchurch

Only God sees everything Art does.
rebecca sees everythng Art does.
rebecca is God.

Sweet!

[Thomas]

Quote:

Originally posted by Upchurch

Only God sees everything Art does.
rebecca sees everythng Art does.
rebecca is God.

Hey! I hold a patent for that title! But we can compromise I guess,

Thomas is God
God is Rebecca;

Thomas is Rebecca!

I've always felt a little feminine, now I know why

[c4ts]

Premise 1: I am made of matter
Premise 2: Matter cannot be destroyed
Conclusion: I AM INDESTRUCTIBLE!!

Premise 1: i am dunk pleas deleter
Premise 2: sometimes i do sex in a bucket
Conclusion: iamtelepathyforthestockexchangled

Premise 1: Duh duh duh.
Preimise 2: Fuh?
Conclusion: BLAOWDAWDEEEEEEEEEEEE!!

[Art Vandelay]

I give up. I don't know how much clearer I could make it that I was kidding. Maybe next time I post a joke, I should put THIS IS A JOKE in huge letters. But I think even that wouldn't be enough.

[rebecca]

Quote:

Originally posted by Art Vandelay

I give up. I don't know how much clearer I could make it that I was kidding.

Well Art, for starters, you could have NOT said this:

Quote:

Originally posted by Art Vandelay

But I think that it does have a kernal of truth. The idea behind premise one is that character is not simply knowing what's right and doing it, but doing it when one doesn't think that one will get credit for it. Doing the right thing to impress other people doesn't really reveal character. The distinction between "watching" and "knowing" isn't really relevant in this case. Whatever the putative mechanism, Christians believe that God will be aware of their actions, and therefore they can never do something just for the sake of doing it. Wanting God to have a favorable opinion is always a possible motivation.

And I imagine you also could have put it in the "Humor" section.

Because you did post the above in this forum, we are treating you like an adult and further exploring and challenging your statement. After reading the responses, do you still agree with what you posted?

[rebecca]

And by the way, don't try to lie, because as we proved above, I am God.

[Ladewig]

Well, Art Vandelay, I laughed at your post. On the other hand, I laughed twice as hard at Abdul Alhazred's post.
__________________________

The real test of a sense of humor is how you react when someone tells you that you don't have a sense of humor.

[c4ts]

The only difference between the Humor section and R&P is that R&P gets all the seriously funny people. I don't mean people who are serious about being funny, I mean people who are extremely serious about things that would otherwise appear funny. Well, you missed out on Franko, his puppet Wraith, Jedi Knight, and Muscleman, but you've got Riddik and Lifegazer posting here all the time, and who knows if they're serious or not?

First, there was the grandaddy of thread hijackers, Franko. He went around taking syllogies like this seriously:

YOU are made of ATOMS
ATOMS obey TLOP (The Laws Of Physics)
Therefore YOU obey the Logical Goddess

Also he'd contradict himself every few posts, and say things like the moon or your is more conscious than you, or that there is no such thing as free will, and that good deeds made you fall up instead of down. And if you tried to talk some sense into him he'd demand that you prove that the Logical Goddess didn't exist. Also he had another account under the name of "Wraith" who would pop up every so often and defend Franko by holding exactly the same views. Was he seriously paranoid delusional, or just messing with us? Who knows what his problem was.

Around the same time there was Jedi Knight, some Catholic guy who was just as crazy about his beliefs. When he wasn't ranting about "feminazis," lost Martian civilizations found in NASA photos from Viking, or why atheists should be gassed to death Holocaust style, he was defending Franko. It was hard to tell whether he was serious or not, but he sure acted like it.

Then there was Muscleman, a Creationist who could bench press 200 pounds but COULDN'T TURN OFF THE CAPS LOCK TO SAVE HIS OWN LIVE!!! He argued against the evils of science WITH INSULTS AND ALL CAPS SHOUTING BCASE IT IS TRUE END OF STORY THE WORLD IS FLAT PERIOD!!!! Who knows if he was serious or just some kid trying to piss us off with a bunch of Creationist sermons.

So there you have it, the R&P wall of infamy. Compared to those guys, your joke doesn't even stand up. You've got to be a whole lot more absurd to keep us from taking you seriously.

[neutrino_cannon]

Quote:

Originally posted by c4ts
The only difference between the Humor section and R&P is that R&P gets all the seriously funny people.
*snip*
So there you have it, the R&P wall of infamy. Compared to those guys, your joke doesn't even stand up. You've got to be a whole lot more absurd to keep us from taking you seriously.

You did see my post right?

I didn't make it clear it was muscleman though...

PREMISE 1: I CAN BENCH PRESS FIVE MILLION TONNES
PREMISE 2: THOSE THINGS IN MY BASEMENT ARE DEMONS
CONCLUSION: A-THEISTS ARE PANSIES.