God on trial

12th March 2003, 01:02 PM

Just for argument sake, a bigger more powerful god arrests the god of the christian bible. He puts him on trial, charges him with crimes against humanity, and you are the prosecutor or the defense. What would your summation be?

Stimpson J. Cat · 12th March 2003, 01:10 PM

Prosocution: Call Job to testify.

Defence: Point out the lack of evidence for any of the claims of crueltly (or any claims concerning God at all, for that matter).

Dr. Stupid

Cecil · 12th March 2003, 02:03 PM

I wouldn't get to summation because I'd have accepted the first plea bargain offered by the prosecutor.

pillory · 12th March 2003, 02:57 PM

god's suicide

12th March 2003, 02:58 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by jimmygun
Just for argument sake, a bigger more powerful god arrests the god of the christian bible. He puts him on trial, charges him with crimes against humanity, and you are the prosecutor or the defense. What would your summation be?

I think an examination to determine mental competency would be the first order of business.

Aoidoi · 12th March 2003, 03:02 PM

As the defense:

I'd move for a change of venue.

Edit: oh, summation? I'd tell the jury that God would damn them all to hell for eternity if they convict.

KS_SKEPTIC · 12th March 2003, 04:33 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by jimmygun
Just for argument sake, a bigger more powerful god arrests the god of the christian bible. He puts him on trial, charges him with crimes against humanity, and you are the prosecutor or the defense. What would your summation be?

First of all, god (he or she, it, them?) would never show up!
So the case would be thrown out!
Insufficient evidence!!!

neutrino_cannon · 12th March 2003, 05:59 PM

Oh definitly judge. I mean, you get to judge God. Great thrill. Of course, if the punishment is imprisonment, there could be some trouble detaining the prisoner, unless of course God humors us and stays still. I suppose their might be some danger to the judge, jury and others if the defendant were unhappy with the verdict.

kourama · 13th March 2003, 10:59 AM

The real entertainment would the special "COPS" episode featuring the takedown of YHWH.

Ahhh, I can see it now.

*GENERIC RADIO NOISE*

DISPATCHER: We've got a 211 in progress at the intersection of Reality and Main.

*quick cut to officer Neitsche driving his patrol car*

OFFICER : Uh, apparently we've got an individual who has been smiting innocent civilians...uh...casting down plagues, and failing to appear in court ...or anywhere else for that matter. So..uh..we're gonna have to bring him in...

*quick cut to a trailer park, YHWH out of focus, shirtless, dimly illuminated by the patrol car lights*

YHWH: Hey, man...I didn't do nothin'!

OFFICER : Sir, can you step over here please!

YHWH: Why? I didn't smite nobody! I am the alpha and the omega, an' y'all shall have no gods 'fore me!

OFFICER: OK, sir, can you step over here please.

*YHWH turns and runs thrugh some grass and broken-down cars*

OFFICER: STOP!

*dogs begin barking*

* YHWH runs into a logical argument, trips and falls down. OFFICER jumps on him and slaps the cuffs on*

*quick cut, YHWH walks reluctantly towards car, bleeding from somewhere on his face *

YHWH : You guys are *BEEP* damned now! I'm gonna send a plague of death to your children, and ...

*gets pushed in the car, door closes, and speech gets cut off*

OFFICER : We'll take him downtown fr the night, hopefull he'll sober up a little and we can reason with him

*quick cut to perp in the back of the car banging his head against the window*

*fade to commercial*

Akots · 13th March 2003, 11:33 AM

The devil made him do it!

Wait... that's not right...

fishbob · 13th March 2003, 09:46 PM

Quote:

kourama - one of the best lines in a while -
"a trailer park" (near) "the intersection of Reality and Main"

Can I use this for my location?

kourama · 14th March 2003, 08:37 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by fishbob
Can I use this for my location?

I'm honoured.

12th March 2003, 01:02 PM	#1
Guest Posts: n/a	God on trial Just for argument sake, a bigger more powerful god arrests the god of the christian bible. He puts him on trial, charges him with crimes against humanity, and you are the prosecutor or the defense. What would your summation be?
Guest Posts: n/a

12th March 2003, 01:10 PM	#2
Stimpson J. Cat Graduate Poster Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Oxford, UK Posts: 1,833	Prosocution: Call Job to testify. Defence: Point out the lack of evidence for any of the claims of crueltly (or any claims concerning God at all, for that matter). Dr. Stupid
	__________________ A poke in the eye makes Baby Jesus cry.

12th March 2003, 02:03 PM	#3
Cecil Muse Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Vancouver Posts: 991	I wouldn't get to summation because I'd have accepted the first plea bargain offered by the prosecutor.
	__________________ "Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds." --Albert Einstein "The common man marvels at the uncommon; the wise man marvels at the commonplace." --Confucious "The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts." --Bertrand Russell

12th March 2003, 02:57 PM	#4
pillory Illuminator Join Date: Dec 2002 Posts: 4,167	god's suicide
pillory Illuminator Join Date: Dec 2002 Posts: 4,167

12th March 2003, 02:58 PM	#5
Kiri Guest Posts: n/a	Re: God on trial Quote: Originally posted by jimmygun Just for argument sake, a bigger more powerful god arrests the god of the christian bible. He puts him on trial, charges him with crimes against humanity, and you are the prosecutor or the defense. What would your summation be? I think an examination to determine mental competency would be the first order of business.
Kiri Guest Posts: n/a

12th March 2003, 03:02 PM	#6
Aoidoi Illuminator Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 4,417	As the defense: I'd move for a change of venue. Edit: oh, summation? I'd tell the jury that God would damn them all to hell for eternity if they convict.
Aoidoi Illuminator Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 4,417	__________________ "The priests used to say that faith can move mountains, and nobody believed them. Today the scientists say that they can level mountains, and nobody doubts them." - Joseph Campbell We cannot defend freedom abroad by abandoning it at home. —Edward R. Murrow

12th March 2003, 04:33 PM	#7
KS_SKEPTIC Scholar Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Kansas Posts: 121	Re: God on trial Quote: Originally posted by jimmygun Just for argument sake, a bigger more powerful god arrests the god of the christian bible. He puts him on trial, charges him with crimes against humanity, and you are the prosecutor or the defense. What would your summation be? First of all, god (he or she, it, them?) would never show up! So the case would be thrown out! Insufficient evidence!!!
	__________________ Evey Hammond: Are you like a... crazy person? V: I'm quite sure they will say so. V: What was done to me was monstrous. Evey Hammond: And they created a monster. V: People should not be afraid of their governments. Governments should be afraid of their people.

12th March 2003, 05:59 PM	#8
neutrino_cannon Master Poster Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Seventh circle of limbo Posts: 2,571	Oh definitly judge. I mean, you get to judge God. Great thrill. Of course, if the punishment is imprisonment, there could be some trouble detaining the prisoner, unless of course God humors us and stays still. I suppose their might be some danger to the judge, jury and others if the defendant were unhappy with the verdict.
	__________________ "Man would have been too happy, if, limiting himself to the visible objects which interested him, he had employed, to perfect his real sciences, his laws, his morals, his education, one half-the efforts he has put into his researches on the Divinity" -Percy Bysshe Shelley, The Necessity of Atheism

13th March 2003, 10:59 AM	#9
kourama Thinker Join Date: May 2002 Location: canada Posts: 216	The real entertainment would the special "COPS" episode featuring the takedown of YHWH. Ahhh, I can see it now. GENERIC RADIO NOISE DISPATCHER: We've got a 211 in progress at the intersection of Reality and Main. quick cut to officer Neitsche driving his patrol car OFFICER : Uh, apparently we've got an individual who has been smiting innocent civilians...uh...casting down plagues, and failing to appear in court ...or anywhere else for that matter. So..uh..we're gonna have to bring him in... quick cut to a trailer park, YHWH out of focus, shirtless, dimly illuminated by the patrol car lights YHWH: Hey, man...I didn't do nothin'! OFFICER : Sir, can you step over here please! YHWH: Why? I didn't smite nobody! I am the alpha and the omega, an' y'all shall have no gods 'fore me! OFFICER: OK, sir, can you step over here please. YHWH turns and runs thrugh some grass and broken-down cars OFFICER: STOP! dogs begin barking * YHWH runs into a logical argument, trips and falls down. OFFICER jumps on him and slaps the cuffs on* quick cut, YHWH walks reluctantly towards car, bleeding from somewhere on his face YHWH : You guys are BEEP damned now! I'm gonna send a plague of death to your children, and ... gets pushed in the car, door closes, and speech gets cut off OFFICER : We'll take him downtown fr the night, hopefull he'll sober up a little and we can reason with him quick cut to perp in the back of the car banging his head against the window fade to commercial
	__________________ Just because you do not take an interest in politics doesn't mean politics won't take an interest in you. --Pericles (430 B.C.)

13th March 2003, 11:33 AM	#10
Akots Critical Thinker Join Date: Dec 2002 Posts: 494	The devil made him do it! Wait... that's not right...
Akots Critical Thinker Join Date: Dec 2002 Posts: 494	__________________ I can't drink POSSIBLE beers! I need ACTUAL beers! Damn you, quantum mechanics!

13th March 2003, 09:46 PM	#11
fishbob Seasonally Disaffected Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Chilly Undieville Posts: 5,666	Quote: kourama - one of the best lines in a while - "a trailer park" (near) "the intersection of Reality and Main" Can I use this for my location?
	__________________ When you believe in things you don't understand, then you suffer . . . " - Stevie Wonder "Stupidity - a callow indifference to facts or data" - Stuart Firestein -neuroscientist. I hate bigots.

14th March 2003, 08:37 AM	#12
kourama Thinker Join Date: May 2002 Location: canada Posts: 216	Quote: Originally posted by fishbob Can I use this for my location? I'm honoured.
	__________________ Just because you do not take an interest in politics doesn't mean politics won't take an interest in you. --Pericles (430 B.C.)