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Zep · 26th October 2004, 07:08 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Lisa Simpson
Spew!

Is that what your poor avatar is doing? Sorry...

btw, I can see 1inC getting weaker by the post. And one day he will meet a REAL Christian, not this coprophilic garage sect, then his life will change.

Lisa Simpson · 26th October 2004, 07:16 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Zep
Is that what your poor avatar is doing? Sorry...

btw, I can see 1inC getting weaker by the post. And one day he will meet a REAL Christian, not this coprophilic garage sect, then his life will change.

GIR is dancing. He just always has his tongue out.

ETA:

TruthSeeker · 26th October 2004, 07:19 PM

Hey 1inC,

Nice to see ya.

Could you do me a favour? Could you let me know when you are going to start these amazing threads of yours?

It never fails that you start them when I've gone out for the evening (and really, I don't go out all that much) and I come home to sooooooooooooo many pages to read. I need to sleep soon and I've only just started page 1.

An interesting possibility is that we are cosmically linked. You know when I am out and start these threads then to lure me home. Yes, that's it. We are cosmically linked soulmates. Sorry, MdeC.

Lord Emsworth · 26th October 2004, 07:22 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Lisa Simpson
Spew!

Poor 1inC, so scared. Come to critical thinking. It will only do you good.

I think it only will make him even more scared ... He's just not the type.

Lisa Simpson · 26th October 2004, 07:23 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Lord Emsworth
I think it only will make him even more scared ... He's just not the type.

We need to lead him along, like the little sheep he is. Baby sheep steps.

Lord Emsworth · 26th October 2004, 07:29 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Lisa Simpson
We need to lead him along, like the little sheep he is. Baby sheep steps.

You see there's already the first problem. The need to be lead along

Anyways, I wonder what will happen to him after Friday should the voices in his head turn out to have uttered a false prophecy. The mere thought of what might go on in his head ... Scary.

TruthSeeker · 26th October 2004, 07:30 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by 1inChrist
Not even a hail mary can help those who play for Satan's team.

Are you Catholic now?

(somebody else has probably already posted about this but I haven't finished reading the thread yet.)

Lisa Simpson · 26th October 2004, 07:33 PM

I know he needs to be led, otherwise his Garage!Preacher wouldn't have such a hold on him. However, I'm taking the spaghetti approach. Throw everything against the wall and see what sticks.

I doubt Friday will change him at all. He always seems to have a handy excuse should the voices in his head turn out to be wrong. It will never be god's fault.

Lord Emsworth · 26th October 2004, 07:35 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by TruthSeeker
Are you Catholic now?

(somebody else has probably already posted about this but I haven't finished reading the thread yet.)

Oh, come on. He's just expressing his disdain for the Mary worshippers (Catholics)

Batman Jr. · 26th October 2004, 07:35 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by 1inChrist
DO NOT BE AFRAID OF THE FEAR OF GOD! THE FEAR OF GOD WILL BRING YOU MERCY!

Luke 1:50:

And his mercy is on them that fear him from generation to generation.

ATHEISTS RUN FROM GOD BECAUSE THE FEAR IS OVERWHELMING! YOU MUST UNDERSTAND FEARING HIM IS JUST AS IMPORTANT AS LOVING HIM. TO FEAR GOD IS TO UNDERSTAND HIM! COME TO HIM BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE OR YOU WILL TASTE HIS WRATH!

Leia A Quarter 'til 5:

And then Jesus asked people to love him. When those nigh were unsure as to whether this love was to be platonic or otherwise, he miraculously induced all the women around him to gesticulate in an orgasmic fashion. Despite normally professing himself to be omniscient, he realized what he was witnessing would always inevitably fall back on the postulate assuming the verity of his experiences and to think contrarily would mean falling into the intellectual abyss of the "enlightenment fallacy" whose conception is attributed to Immanuel Kant, and shortly thereafter as a result grew disconcerted at entertaining the possibility that the women were faking it.

Lord Emsworth · 26th October 2004, 07:36 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Lisa Simpson
I know he needs to be led, otherwise his Garage!Preacher wouldn't have such a hold on him. However, I'm taking the spaghetti approach. Throw everything against the wall and see what sticks.

I doubt Friday will change him at all. He always seems to have a handy excuse should the voices in his head turn out to be wrong. It will never be god's fault.

His usual excuse is Satan ... I wonder if he'll apply it to the voices too.

TruthSeeker · 26th October 2004, 07:36 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Lisa Simpson
GIR is dancing. He just always has his tongue out.

ETA:

Oh, I love the dancing.

Very hot.

TruthSeeker · 26th October 2004, 07:38 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Lord Emsworth
Oh, come on. He's just expressing his disdain for the Mary worshippers (Catholics)

yes, I probably read it wrong.

Too much wine with dinner.

Lisa Simpson · 26th October 2004, 07:42 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by TruthSeeker
Oh, I love the dancing.

Yup. There's nothing quite like a taco eating, booty shaking robot in a dog costume to brighten one's day.

SezMe · 26th October 2004, 07:45 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Zep
No, no. 1inC said "You will answer to Him in the end" (in bolded capital letters, so we are to know he is "serious"). That wording conveys the scene that we will be answering to God, in His end. Now, that raises the prospect that God needs an "end", and thereby has a digestive tract and so needs to eat, and is thus mortal to some extent...snip

Ah-ha, now I know God can really help me.

Dear God,
Is Charmin really the best bathroom tissue? Or is it OK if I go with my local Safeway brand? Will I wipe in hell if I make the wrong choice?

Sincerely,

Your servant,

SezMe

Lisa Simpson · 26th October 2004, 07:50 PM

So basically, you guys are saying god is an @ss man? I'm really in trouble then, because I really don't have any butt to speak of. Are you sure god isn't a leg man? I'd be doing great then.

c4ts · 26th October 2004, 07:55 PM

Come on 1inC, if Hell is the only basis for morality then there really are no morals according to you. Grow up for a change, develop a conscience instead. Put that Bible down for a second and read your Greek philosophy.

TruthSeeker · 26th October 2004, 07:57 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Lisa Simpson
So basically, you guys are saying god is an @ss man? I'm really in trouble then, because I really don't have any butt to speak of. Are you sure god isn't a leg man? I'd be doing great then.

Yoga, Lisa. It'll give you a nice hard, yoga-bum. God'll appreciate the effort.

Lisa Simpson · 26th October 2004, 07:58 PM

I've been doing Pilates as part of my post-surgery rehab, and my butt muscles have gotten firmer. But alas, the shape of my butt is still flat as a pancake. It's just a very firm pancake.

TruthSeeker · 26th October 2004, 08:00 PM

well, I guess that's better than a flabby pancake

I'm thinking of starting pilates. I bought a couple of tapes, just have to do them.

1inC, does Jesus have any exercise preferences?

gov · 26th October 2004, 08:25 PM

and I amend my theory to say that not only is this a person having fun (and some of the recent posts are, well, funny), he is also someone who posts here with another name. I think this is a home grown jokester. Or, someone who left a while ago. He doesn't really know the Bible very well, so just makes use of online versions with word searches.

I have a theory...

GP?
Carlos?

(nah...)

c4ts · 26th October 2004, 08:33 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by gov
and I amend my theory to say that not only is this a person having fun (and some of the recent posts are, well, funny), he is also someone who posts here with another name. I think this is a home grown jokester. Or, someone who left a while ago. He doesn't really know the Bible very well, so just makes use of online versions with word searches.

I have a theory...

GP?
Carlos?

(nah...)

In other words you think he's a troll.

Nah, a troll would be less obvious. I think he really believes this crap, he's been keeping it up too long.

Lord Emsworth · 26th October 2004, 08:56 PM

The first (or one of the first) thing I'd do if I were impersonating a Christian would be to bring up some form of Pascal's Wager. I have not seen him doing that ... yet. A (weak) argument agaist him being a troll.

Checkmite · 26th October 2004, 09:01 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by 1inChrist

You can ignore Him but He will not go away. YOU WILL ANSWER HIM IN THE END.

Good, let us answer him then. If there is a hell and I'm sentenced to go there for eternity because of the decisions I have made in my handful of years of life, then I will take my deserved punishment. If trying to bribe my way out of it by kissing the Holy Rear is beneath me (and it is), then I imagine it is beneath God, and I will not so patronize him.

monkboon · 26th October 2004, 09:39 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by 1inChrist
Nice try but this still will not get me to shut up.

How 'bout this, then:

Quote:

Matthew 5:5-6
5 And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.
6 But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.

Or:

Quote:

Philippians 2:12
Wherefore, my beloved, as ye have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling.

lylfyl · 27th October 2004, 02:41 AM

1inChrist
It's good to see you back all fired up about Hell...(Ha! get it?) You promised you would address RebeccaBradley's and my questions about WHEN Hell occurs, in that previous Hell thread you started. We had a bunch of bible verses that don't seem to agree.

As a reminder, here. It's towards the bottom. RebeccaBradley's verses are on the next page toward the bottom.

Anybody know how to make the link go to a particular post on a page?

RamblingOnwards · 27th October 2004, 02:45 AM

Does the thread title remind anyone else of the Eminem lyrics: "there's a place called heaven and a place called hell / A place called prison and a place called jail" ?

That's not just troll, it's second hand troll.

Stitch · 27th October 2004, 02:47 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by 1inChrist
You are not fooling anyone. A real warrior of Christ can always see through the fabric of Satan's lies. Go ahead and call me a troll but that doesn't change the fact that His Word strikes fear into your heart like an arrow.

Your god strikes about as much fear in our hearts as Zeus does in yours.

spejic · 27th October 2004, 04:12 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Zep
Talking up God's ass? Are you SURE?? Where does it say THAT in the Bible?

It is in the Old Testament (Exodus 33). When Moses went up to see God, God could not show him His full glory because it would have burned Moses to a cinder. So God showed Moses His butt, which was still enough to give Moses a radioactive glow. When Moses came down from the volcano, the people made him wear a veil because it was so freaky.

Anders · 27th October 2004, 04:47 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by 1inChrist
I see you have allowed the Beast into your heart. You have allowed the unholy one to taint your mind with sinful ideas and influence your choices that have eternal consequences.

YOU HAVE ALLOWED SATAN TO PERVERT THE TRUTH!!!!

Jesus warned of this!!!!

Mark 4:15:

And these are they by the way side, where the word is sown; but when they have heard, Satan cometh immediately, and taketh away the word that was sown in their hearts.

Oh Yes, I feel sooo perverted by Satan, my Lord in Hell. C'mon 1inChrist, you gotta be kidding! You really are a fundamatalist? Evangilican perhaps? Like President W Bush?

Mr Manifesto · 27th October 2004, 04:48 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by lylfyl

Anybody know how to make the link go to a particular post on a page?

Here

Psiload · 27th October 2004, 05:02 AM

A bunch of references from the Buy-bull? What fun is that? Here are some nice scientificy proofs of the existence of H- E- double hockey sticks:

http://amightywind.com/hell/aboutsounds.htm

Quote:

A geological group who drilled a hole about 14.4 kilometers deep in the crust of the earth are saying that they heard human screams. Screams have been heard from the condemned souls from earth's deepest hole. Terrified scientists are afraid they have let loose the evil powers of hell up to the earth's surface.

I like this one even better:

http://soli.inav.net/~catalyst/Humor/proof.htm

BillC · 27th October 2004, 02:26 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by 1inChrist
GOD PLEASE SHOW THESE SINNERS THE WAY. SHOW THEM THE WAY SO THEY MAY DEPART FROM THEIR SINFUL WAYS AND ENTER YOUR KINGDOM WHEN THEY DIE. SHOW THEM THE DANGERS THEY FACE RIGHT NOW FROM REJECTING YOUR SON'S SACRIFICE TO THE HELLFIRE. Amen.

Why do you need to post this on an internet forum? Does God lurk here? If he is omniscient, surely he can just read your thoughts (plus tell you what they're going to be).

Zep · 27th October 2004, 03:30 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by spejic
It is in the Old Testament (Exodus 33). When Moses went up to see God, God could not show him His full glory because it would have burned Moses to a cinder. So God showed Moses His butt, which was still enough to give Moses a radioactive glow. When Moses came down from the volcano, the people made him wear a veil because it was so freaky.

Oh. Okay. Must have missed that bit...

[flips the pages quizzically...]

Or was that in the sequel? I haven't seen the sequel...don't tell me how it works out, OK?

control_zape · 27th October 2004, 03:56 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by TruthSeeker
... does Jesus have any exercise preferences?

Crucifixion, perhaps?

RamblingOnwards · 28th October 2004, 01:44 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Zep
Oh. Okay. Must have missed that bit...

[flips the pages quizzically...]

Or was that in the sequel? I haven't seen the sequel...don't tell me how it works out, OK?

It might have been in the director's cut version

neutrino_cannon · 28th October 2004, 03:40 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by phildonnia
Argumentum ad verbum amplus et rufus?

Argumentum ab verbis amplis rufisque.

Very good, but please try to get the grammar right.

Did I just see 1inChrist use the word "prevernt"?

As in "I think you're some kind of deviated prevernt, and I think the general found out about your prevernsion, and you were organizing some sort of rebellion of prevernts!" ?

Question · 28th October 2004, 04:01 AM

There is no Hell, only the Laughing-Pain. You will now divert yourselves toward more constructive discussion.

H3LL · 28th October 2004, 05:46 AM

Thread Title:

Is there a place of horror and pain called Hell? YES!
<hr>

Oops! Sorry. I thought he was talking about me. I got confused...all those Upper-case letters and things. I mis-read it.

1inC seems a bit off his medication today. It's not his usual style. Maybe someone else.

spejic · 28th October 2004, 11:07 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Zep
Oh. Okay. Must have missed that bit...

[flips the pages quizzically...]

Or was that in the sequel? I haven't seen the sequel...don't tell me how it works out, OK?

Exodus 33
18
Then Moses said, "Do let me see your glory!"
19
He answered, "I will make all my beauty pass before you, and in your presence I will pronounce my name, 'LORD'; I who show favors to whom I will, I who grant mercy to whom I will.
20
But my face you cannot see, for no man sees me and still lives.
21
Here," continued the LORD, "is a place near me where you shall station yourself on the rock.
22
When my glory passes I will set you in the hollow of the rock and will cover you with my hand until I have passed by.
23
3 Then I will remove my hand, so that you may see my back; but my face is not to be seen."

Exodus 34
29
As Moses came down from Mount Sinai with the two tablets of the commandments in his hands, he did not know that the skin of his face had become radiant while he conversed with the LORD.
30
When Aaron, then, and the other Israelites saw Moses and noticed how radiant the skin of his face had become, they were afraid to come near him.
35
Then the Israelites would see that the skin of Moses' face was radiant; so he would again put the veil over his face until he went in to converse with the LORD.

By the way, the rest of Exodus 34 is a must read. It has the real, actual 10 Commandments.

26th October 2004, 07:08 PM	#121
Zep Banned Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 26,985	Quote: Originally posted by Lisa Simpson Spew! Is that what your poor avatar is doing? Sorry... btw, I can see 1inC getting weaker by the post. And one day he will meet a REAL Christian, not this coprophilic garage sect, then his life will change.
Zep Banned Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 26,985

26th October 2004, 07:16 PM	#122
Lisa Simpson THE Lisa Simpson Administrator Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: 123 Fake Street Posts: 20,111	Quote: Originally posted by Zep Is that what your poor avatar is doing? Sorry... btw, I can see 1inC getting weaker by the post. And one day he will meet a REAL Christian, not this coprophilic garage sect, then his life will change. GIR is dancing. He just always has his tongue out. ETA:
	__________________ That's what the Internet does -- you get a free bonus prize of Stupid Lies with every box of Delicious Facts. - cracked.com Facts are satanic litter on the heavenly highway to blind faith! - Betty Bowers

26th October 2004, 07:19 PM	#123
TruthSeeker Illuminator Join Date: Sep 2003 Posts: 3,602	Hey 1inC, Nice to see ya. Could you do me a favour? Could you let me know when you are going to start these amazing threads of yours? It never fails that you start them when I've gone out for the evening (and really, I don't go out all that much) and I come home to sooooooooooooo many pages to read. I need to sleep soon and I've only just started page 1. An interesting possibility is that we are cosmically linked. You know when I am out and start these threads then to lure me home. Yes, that's it. We are cosmically linked soulmates. Sorry, MdeC.
TruthSeeker Illuminator Join Date: Sep 2003 Posts: 3,602	__________________ Believe those who seek the truth; doubt those who find it. -Andre Gide I am naive enough to believe that society will be changed by examination of ideas through books and the press, and that information can prove to be greater than the dissemination of stupidity - Dr. Seuss

26th October 2004, 07:23 PM	#125
Lisa Simpson THE Lisa Simpson Administrator Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: 123 Fake Street Posts: 20,111	Quote: Originally posted by Lord Emsworth *I think it only will make him even more scared ... He's just not the type.* We need to lead him along, like the little sheep he is. Baby sheep steps.
	__________________ That's what the Internet does -- you get a free bonus prize of Stupid Lies with every box of Delicious Facts. - cracked.com Facts are satanic litter on the heavenly highway to blind faith! - Betty Bowers

26th October 2004, 07:30 PM	#127
TruthSeeker Illuminator Join Date: Sep 2003 Posts: 3,602	Quote: Originally posted by 1inChrist Not even a hail mary can help those who play for Satan's team. Are you Catholic now? (somebody else has probably already posted about this but I haven't finished reading the thread yet.)
TruthSeeker Illuminator Join Date: Sep 2003 Posts: 3,602	__________________ Believe those who seek the truth; doubt those who find it. -Andre Gide I am naive enough to believe that society will be changed by examination of ideas through books and the press, and that information can prove to be greater than the dissemination of stupidity - Dr. Seuss

26th October 2004, 07:22 PM	#124
Lord Emsworth Je ne suis pas une de vos élèves Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Through the Cables and the Underground ... Posts: 2,831	Quote: Originally posted by Lisa Simpson Spew! Poor 1inC, so scared. Come to critical thinking. It will only do you good. I think it only will make him even more scared ... He's just not the type.

26th October 2004, 07:29 PM	#126
Lord Emsworth Je ne suis pas une de vos élèves Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Through the Cables and the Underground ... Posts: 2,831	Quote: Originally posted by Lisa Simpson We need to lead him along, like the little sheep he is. Baby sheep steps. You see there's already the first problem. The need to be lead along Anyways, I wonder what will happen to him after Friday should the voices in his head turn out to have uttered a false prophecy. The mere thought of what might go on in his head ... Scary.

26th October 2004, 07:33 PM	#128
Lisa Simpson THE Lisa Simpson Administrator Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: 123 Fake Street Posts: 20,111	I know he needs to be led, otherwise his Garage!Preacher wouldn't have such a hold on him. However, I'm taking the spaghetti approach. Throw everything against the wall and see what sticks. I doubt Friday will change him at all. He always seems to have a handy excuse should the voices in his head turn out to be wrong. It will never be god's fault.
	__________________ That's what the Internet does -- you get a free bonus prize of Stupid Lies with every box of Delicious Facts. - cracked.com Facts are satanic litter on the heavenly highway to blind faith! - Betty Bowers

26th October 2004, 07:35 PM	#129
Lord Emsworth Je ne suis pas une de vos élèves Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Through the Cables and the Underground ... Posts: 2,831	Quote: Originally posted by TruthSeeker Are you Catholic now? (somebody else has probably already posted about this but I haven't finished reading the thread yet.) Oh, come on. He's just expressing his disdain for the Mary worshippers (Catholics)

26th October 2004, 07:35 PM	#130
Batman Jr. Graduate Poster Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 1,255	Quote: Originally posted by 1inChrist DO NOT BE AFRAID OF THE FEAR OF GOD! THE FEAR OF GOD WILL BRING YOU MERCY! Luke 1:50: And his mercy is on them that fear him from generation to generation. ATHEISTS RUN FROM GOD BECAUSE THE FEAR IS OVERWHELMING! YOU MUST UNDERSTAND FEARING HIM IS JUST AS IMPORTANT AS LOVING HIM. TO FEAR GOD IS TO UNDERSTAND HIM! COME TO HIM BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE OR YOU WILL TASTE HIS WRATH! Leia A Quarter 'til 5: And then Jesus asked people to love him. When those nigh were unsure as to whether this love was to be platonic or otherwise, he miraculously induced all the women around him to gesticulate in an orgasmic fashion. Despite normally professing himself to be omniscient, he realized what he was witnessing would always inevitably fall back on the postulate assuming the verity of his experiences and to think contrarily would mean falling into the intellectual abyss of the "enlightenment fallacy" whose conception is attributed to Immanuel Kant, and shortly thereafter as a result grew disconcerted at entertaining the possibility that the women were faking it.

26th October 2004, 07:36 PM	#131
Lord Emsworth Je ne suis pas une de vos élèves Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Through the Cables and the Underground ... Posts: 2,831	Quote: Originally posted by Lisa Simpson I know he needs to be led, otherwise his Garage!Preacher wouldn't have such a hold on him. However, I'm taking the spaghetti approach. Throw everything against the wall and see what sticks. I doubt Friday will change him at all. He always seems to have a handy excuse should the voices in his head turn out to be wrong. It will never be god's fault. His usual excuse is Satan ... I wonder if he'll apply it to the voices too.

26th October 2004, 07:36 PM	#132
TruthSeeker Illuminator Join Date: Sep 2003 Posts: 3,602	Quote: Originally posted by Lisa Simpson GIR is dancing. He just always has his tongue out. ETA: Oh, I love the dancing. Very hot.
TruthSeeker Illuminator Join Date: Sep 2003 Posts: 3,602	__________________ Believe those who seek the truth; doubt those who find it. -Andre Gide I am naive enough to believe that society will be changed by examination of ideas through books and the press, and that information can prove to be greater than the dissemination of stupidity - Dr. Seuss

26th October 2004, 07:38 PM	#133
TruthSeeker Illuminator Join Date: Sep 2003 Posts: 3,602	Quote: Originally posted by Lord Emsworth *Oh, come on. He's just expressing his disdain for the Mary worshippers (Catholics)* yes, I probably read it wrong. Too much wine with dinner.
TruthSeeker Illuminator Join Date: Sep 2003 Posts: 3,602	__________________ Believe those who seek the truth; doubt those who find it. -Andre Gide I am naive enough to believe that society will be changed by examination of ideas through books and the press, and that information can prove to be greater than the dissemination of stupidity - Dr. Seuss

26th October 2004, 07:42 PM	#134
Lisa Simpson THE Lisa Simpson Administrator Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: 123 Fake Street Posts: 20,111	Quote: Originally posted by TruthSeeker Oh, I love the dancing. Yup. There's nothing quite like a taco eating, booty shaking robot in a dog costume to brighten one's day.
	__________________ That's what the Internet does -- you get a free bonus prize of Stupid Lies with every box of Delicious Facts. - cracked.com Facts are satanic litter on the heavenly highway to blind faith! - Betty Bowers

26th October 2004, 07:45 PM	#135
SezMe post-pre-born Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Santa Barbara, CA Posts: 16,654	Quote: Originally posted by Zep No, no. 1inC said "You will answer to Him in the end" (in bolded capital letters, so we are to know he is "serious"). That wording conveys the scene that we will be answering to God, in His end. Now, that raises the prospect that God needs an "end", and thereby has a digestive tract and so needs to eat, and is thus mortal to some extent...snip Ah-ha, now I know God can really help me. Dear God, Is Charmin really the best bathroom tissue? Or is it OK if I go with my local Safeway brand? Will I wipe in hell if I make the wrong choice? Sincerely, Your servant, SezMe

26th October 2004, 07:50 PM	#136
Lisa Simpson THE Lisa Simpson Administrator Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: 123 Fake Street Posts: 20,111	So basically, you guys are saying god is an @ss man? I'm really in trouble then, because I really don't have any butt to speak of. Are you sure god isn't a leg man? I'd be doing great then.
	__________________ That's what the Internet does -- you get a free bonus prize of Stupid Lies with every box of Delicious Facts. - cracked.com Facts are satanic litter on the heavenly highway to blind faith! - Betty Bowers

26th October 2004, 07:55 PM	#137
c4ts Philosopher Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Your base Posts: 8,427	Come on 1inC, if Hell is the only basis for morality then there really are no morals according to you. Grow up for a change, develop a conscience instead. Put that Bible down for a second and read your Greek philosophy.
	__________________ Ha ha ha ha.... Stupid signature size limit.

26th October 2004, 07:57 PM	#138
TruthSeeker Illuminator Join Date: Sep 2003 Posts: 3,602	Quote: Originally posted by Lisa Simpson So basically, you guys are saying god is an @ss man? I'm really in trouble then, because I really don't have any butt to speak of. Are you sure god isn't a leg man? I'd be doing great then. Yoga, Lisa. It'll give you a nice hard, yoga-bum. God'll appreciate the effort.
TruthSeeker Illuminator Join Date: Sep 2003 Posts: 3,602	__________________ Believe those who seek the truth; doubt those who find it. -Andre Gide I am naive enough to believe that society will be changed by examination of ideas through books and the press, and that information can prove to be greater than the dissemination of stupidity - Dr. Seuss

26th October 2004, 07:58 PM	#139
Lisa Simpson THE Lisa Simpson Administrator Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: 123 Fake Street Posts: 20,111	I've been doing Pilates as part of my post-surgery rehab, and my butt muscles have gotten firmer. But alas, the shape of my butt is still flat as a pancake. It's just a very firm pancake.
	__________________ That's what the Internet does -- you get a free bonus prize of Stupid Lies with every box of Delicious Facts. - cracked.com Facts are satanic litter on the heavenly highway to blind faith! - Betty Bowers

26th October 2004, 08:00 PM	#140
TruthSeeker Illuminator Join Date: Sep 2003 Posts: 3,602	well, I guess that's better than a flabby pancake I'm thinking of starting pilates. I bought a couple of tapes, just have to do them. 1inC, does Jesus have any exercise preferences?
TruthSeeker Illuminator Join Date: Sep 2003 Posts: 3,602	__________________ Believe those who seek the truth; doubt those who find it. -Andre Gide I am naive enough to believe that society will be changed by examination of ideas through books and the press, and that information can prove to be greater than the dissemination of stupidity - Dr. Seuss

26th October 2004, 08:25 PM	#141
gov New Blood Join Date: Sep 2004 Posts: 9	and I amend my theory to say that not only is this a person having fun (and some of the recent posts are, well, funny), he is also someone who posts here with another name. I think this is a home grown jokester. Or, someone who left a while ago. He doesn't really know the Bible very well, so just makes use of online versions with word searches. I have a theory... GP? Carlos? (nah...)
gov New Blood Join Date: Sep 2004 Posts: 9

26th October 2004, 08:33 PM	#142
c4ts Philosopher Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Your base Posts: 8,427	Quote: Originally posted by gov and I amend my theory to say that not only is this a person having fun (and some of the recent posts are, well, funny), he is also someone who posts here with another name. I think this is a home grown jokester. Or, someone who left a while ago. He doesn't really know the Bible very well, so just makes use of online versions with word searches. I have a theory... GP? Carlos? (nah...) In other words you think he's a troll. Nah, a troll would be less obvious. I think he really believes this crap, he's been keeping it up too long.
	__________________ Ha ha ha ha.... Stupid signature size limit.

26th October 2004, 08:56 PM	#143
Lord Emsworth Je ne suis pas une de vos élèves Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Through the Cables and the Underground ... Posts: 2,831	The first (or one of the first) thing I'd do if I were impersonating a Christian would be to bring up some form of Pascal's Wager. I have not seen him doing that ... yet. A (weak) argument agaist him being a troll.

26th October 2004, 09:01 PM	#144
Checkmite Skepticifimisticalationist Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Third in line Posts: 14,981	Quote: Originally posted by 1inChrist You can ignore Him but He will not go away. YOU WILL ANSWER HIM IN THE END. Good, let us answer him then. If there is a hell and I'm sentenced to go there for eternity because of the decisions I have made in my handful of years of life, then I will take my deserved punishment. If trying to bribe my way out of it by kissing the Holy Rear is beneath me (and it is), then I imagine it is beneath God, and I will not so patronize him.
	__________________ "¿WHAT KIND OF BIRD? ¿A PARANORMAL BIRD?" --- Carlos S., 2002

26th October 2004, 09:39 PM	#145
monkboon Thinker Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Richardson, TX Posts: 186	Quote: Originally posted by 1inChrist Nice try but this still will not get me to shut up. How 'bout this, then: Quote: Matthew 5:5-6 5 And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward. 6 But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly. Or: Quote: Philippians 2:12 Wherefore, my beloved, as ye have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, *work out your own* salvation with fear and trembling.
	__________________ "Are we halfway there yet?" -- Zeno as a child I never cared much for astrology, but then I'm an Aries, and we're just naturally skeptical.

27th October 2004, 02:41 AM	#146
lylfyl Thinker Join Date: Sep 2004 Posts: 193	Overlooked Hell questions 1inChrist It's good to see you back all fired up about Hell...(Ha! get it?) You promised you would address RebeccaBradley's and my questions about WHEN Hell occurs, in that previous Hell thread you started. We had a bunch of bible verses that don't seem to agree. As a reminder, here. It's towards the bottom. RebeccaBradley's verses are on the next page toward the bottom. Anybody know how to make the link go to a particular post on a page?
lylfyl Thinker Join Date: Sep 2004 Posts: 193

27th October 2004, 02:45 AM	#147
RamblingOnwards Critical Thinker Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 417	Does the thread title remind anyone else of the Eminem lyrics: "there's a place called heaven and a place called hell / A place called prison and a place called jail" ? That's not just troll, it's second hand troll.

27th October 2004, 02:47 AM	#148
Stitch Muse Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: On the fence Posts: 672	Quote: Originally posted by 1inChrist You are not fooling anyone. A real warrior of Christ can always see through the fabric of Satan's lies. Go ahead and call me a troll but that doesn't change the fact that His Word strikes fear into your heart like an arrow. Your god strikes about as much fear in our hearts as Zeus does in yours.

27th October 2004, 04:12 AM	#149
spejic Scholar Join Date: Feb 2002 Posts: 82	Quote: Originally posted by Zep Talking up God's ass? Are you SURE?? Where does it say THAT in the Bible? It is in the Old Testament (Exodus 33). When Moses went up to see God, God could not show him His full glory because it would have burned Moses to a cinder. So God showed Moses His butt, which was still enough to give Moses a radioactive glow. When Moses came down from the volcano, the people made him wear a veil because it was so freaky.
spejic Scholar Join Date: Feb 2002 Posts: 82	__________________ "Never ask a man with a spade where he's been." - Blake's 7 The Logic of Empire

27th October 2004, 04:47 AM	#150
Anders Muse Join Date: Jul 2003 Posts: 752	Quote: Originally posted by 1inChrist I see you have allowed the Beast into your heart. You have allowed the unholy one to taint your mind with sinful ideas and influence your choices that have eternal consequences. YOU HAVE ALLOWED SATAN TO PERVERT THE TRUTH!!!! Jesus warned of this!!!! Mark 4:15: And these are they by the way side, where the word is sown; but when they have heard, Satan cometh immediately, and taketh away the word that was sown in their hearts. Oh Yes, I feel sooo perverted by Satan, my Lord in Hell. C'mon 1inChrist, you gotta be kidding! You really are a fundamatalist? Evangilican perhaps? Like President W Bush?
Anders Muse Join Date: Jul 2003 Posts: 752	__________________ "A Demon in a Jesus infested world" Save Katie!

27th October 2004, 04:48 AM	#151
Mr Manifesto Hierophant Walrus of the Secret Clique Join Date: Apr 2003 Posts: 4,824	Re: Overlooked Hell questions Quote: Originally posted by lylfyl Anybody know how to make the link go to a particular post on a page? Here

27th October 2004, 05:02 AM	#152
Psiload Master Poster Join Date: Nov 2001 Posts: 2,107	A bunch of references from the Buy-bull? What fun is that? Here are some nice scientificy proofs of the existence of H- E- double hockey sticks: http://amightywind.com/hell/aboutsounds.htm Quote: A geological group who drilled a hole about 14.4 kilometers deep in the crust of the earth are saying that they heard human screams. Screams have been heard from the condemned souls from earth's deepest hole. Terrified scientists are afraid they have let loose the evil powers of hell up to the earth's surface. I like this one even better: http://soli.inav.net/~catalyst/Humor/proof.htm
Psiload Master Poster Join Date: Nov 2001 Posts: 2,107	__________________ You're not the boss of me.

27th October 2004, 02:26 PM	#153
BillC Bazooka Joe Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 2,035	Quote: Originally posted by 1inChrist GOD PLEASE SHOW THESE SINNERS THE WAY. SHOW THEM THE WAY SO THEY MAY DEPART FROM THEIR SINFUL WAYS AND ENTER YOUR KINGDOM WHEN THEY DIE. SHOW THEM THE DANGERS THEY FACE RIGHT NOW FROM REJECTING YOUR SON'S SACRIFICE TO THE HELLFIRE. Amen. Why do you need to post this on an internet forum? Does God lurk here? If he is omniscient, surely he can just read your thoughts (plus tell you what they're going to be).
BillC Bazooka Joe Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 2,035	__________________ "Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?" - Douglas Adams "If homeopathy works, then obviously the less you use it, the stronger it gets. So the best way to apply homeopathy is to not use it at all." - Phil Plait Do you want to know about Sylvia Browne?

27th October 2004, 03:30 PM	#154
Zep Banned Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 26,985	Quote: Originally posted by spejic It is in the Old Testament (Exodus 33). When Moses went up to see God, God could not show him His full glory because it would have burned Moses to a cinder. So God showed Moses His butt, which was still enough to give Moses a radioactive glow. When Moses came down from the volcano, the people made him wear a veil because it was so freaky. Oh. Okay. Must have missed that bit... [flips the pages quizzically...] Or was that in the sequel? I haven't seen the sequel...don't tell me how it works out, OK?
Zep Banned Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 26,985

27th October 2004, 03:56 PM	#155
control_zape Student Join Date: Sep 2004 Posts: 27	Quote: Originally posted by TruthSeeker ... does Jesus have any exercise preferences? Crucifixion, perhaps?
control_zape Student Join Date: Sep 2004 Posts: 27