"Left Behind" fundies can't believe America not mentioned in Bible Prophecy

a_unique_person · 18th June 2006, 06:53 AM

Just when I needed a laugh.

Quote:

First Possibility: America will still be a powerful nation in the last days, but the Lord simply chose not to mention her specifically.
One of the hardest things for American prophecy students to accept is that the United States is not clearly mentioned in Bible prophecy, yet... continues.

http://secure.agoramedia.com/leftbeh...ftbehind22.asp

Zep · 18th June 2006, 07:04 AM

Second possibility: America doesn't survive The End Times, and is indeed "left behind", with all these people who thought they would be riding the tail of the comet now. Which makes far more sense as to why it doesn't rate a mention in the (amazin' prophecyin') bible.

writerdd · 18th June 2006, 07:56 AM

If the Bible is the literal word of God, whey do they instist on interpreting Revelations metaphorically?

RandFan · 18th June 2006, 11:30 AM

Originally Posted by writerdd

If the Bible is the literal word of God, whey do they instist on interpreting Revelations metaphorically?

Mark A. Siefert · 18th June 2006, 12:13 PM

Originally Posted by writerdd

If the Bible is the literal word of God, whey do they instist on interpreting Revelations metaphorically?

In the P&T: Bull's Hit episode on "End Of World" fanatics, they featured Texe "Hillary R. Clinton is a Lesbian Witch!" Marrs who poo-pooed the notion that Revelations that is an allegory... right before making his own on-the-spot Biblical interpretation by declaring that the current tattooing trend is a manifestation of the "Mark Of The Beast."

So much for literalism.

psy kick · 18th June 2006, 12:22 PM

America could be Babylon. Or it could be aligned with the EU.

Mark A. Siefert · 18th June 2006, 01:42 PM

Originally Posted by psy kick

America could be Babylon. Or it could be aligned with the EU.

Excuse me, but if you think the Bible should be taken literally (as the fundimentalists who buy into the "End Times" BS) there is no "could be" involved.

Kopji · 18th June 2006, 01:56 PM

This is one of the reasons Mormonism is so popular. The 'New Jerusalem' is in Independence MO. The entire end times scenario is centered around the US being brought into existence by God.

Hallelujah.

JamesDillon · 18th June 2006, 01:56 PM

Originally Posted by Mark A. Siefert

Excuse me, but if you think the Bible should be taken literally (as the fundimentalists who buy into the "End Times" BS) there is no "could be" involved.

The fundie explanation for all those apparent anachronisms (or more accurately, the exact opposite of anachronism, but I don't think such a word exists) is that the prophets of the Bible "didn't understand what they were seeing, so they explained it in terms familiar to the people at the time." That's why Ezekiel "really" saw an alien spacecraft, etc., etc.

c4ts · 18th June 2006, 02:00 PM

Given the size and construction materials of New Jerusalem, I do wonder if it would fall down. It's a cube more than 200 times higher than Mt. Everest, ending somewhere around Earth's exosphere, its walls are about 65m thick and made out of semiprecious stones. Oh never mind it's the EU!

TragicMonkey · 18th June 2006, 02:02 PM

Originally Posted by c4ts

Given the size and construction materials of New Jerusalem, I do wonder if it would fall down. It's a cube more than 200 times higher than Mt. Everest, ending somewhere around Earth's exosphere, its walls are about 65m thick and made out of semiprecious stones.

It sounds....tacky.

c4ts · 18th June 2006, 02:08 PM

Originally Posted by TragicMonkey

It sounds....tacky.

Read on.

Quote:

11: Having the glory of God: and her light was like unto a stone most precious, even like a jasper stone, clear as crystal;
12: And had a wall great and high, and had twelve gates, and at the gates twelve angels, and names written thereon, which are the names of the twelve tribes of the children of Israel:
13: On the east three gates; on the north three gates; on the south three gates; and on the west three gates.
14: And the wall of the city had twelve foundations, and in them the names of the twelve apostles of the Lamb.
15: And he that talked with me had a golden reed to measure the city, and the gates thereof, and the wall thereof.
16: And the city lieth foursquare, and the length is as large as the breadth: and he measured the city with the reed, twelve thousand furlongs. The length and the breadth and the height of it are equal.
17: And he measured the wall thereof, an hundred and forty and four cubits, according to the measure of a man, that is, of the angel.
18: And the building of the wall of it was of jasper: and the city was pure gold, like unto clear glass.
19: And the foundations of the wall of the city were garnished with all manner of precious stones. The first foundation was jasper; the second, sapphire; the third, a chalcedony; the fourth, an emerald;
20: The fifth, sardonyx; the sixth, sardius; the seventh, chrysolite; the eighth, beryl; the ninth, a topaz; the tenth, a chrysoprasus; the eleventh, a jacinth; the twelfth, an amethyst.
21: And the twelve gates were twelve pearls; every several gate was of one pearl: and the street of the city was pure gold, as it were transparent glass.

I wonder why John has to be on a mountain to see this. Given the size of the thing, a ground view isn't much different. How is he able to see the other sides?

Mark A. Siefert · 18th June 2006, 02:25 PM

Originally Posted by c4ts

Read on.

I wonder why John has to be on a mountain to see this. Given the size of the thing, a ground view isn't much different. How is he able to see the other sides?

It's religion. It doesn't have to make sense.

Skeptic · 18th June 2006, 03:02 PM

They featured Texe "Hillary R. Clinton is a Lesbian Witch!" Marrs

The funny thing about America is that, nowadays, with all the new-age Wicca stuff, there probably ARE people who proudly describe themselves as "lesbian witches", and aren't even considered odd.

It would be funny to see this guy preaching in San Francisco, say:

IDIOT: "Hillary Clinton is a lesbian witch!"
Crowd: "Er.... so?"

JamesDillon · 18th June 2006, 04:57 PM

Originally Posted by c4ts

How is he able to see the other sides?

Maybe it's on a rotating stand? Talk about tacky.

c4ts · 18th June 2006, 05:15 PM

Originally Posted by JamesDillon

Maybe it's on a rotating stand? Talk about tacky.

No, the city remains still on a stand and the Earth rotates around it!

TragicMonkey · 18th June 2006, 05:46 PM

Ugh. No god capable of thinking up such a monstrosity could also be responsible for creating the universe. From the universe's elegant monkeys to its exquistite gibbons, from the beauty of the baboon to the magnificence of a gorilla, the universe is a work of stunning beauty.

The New Jerusalem, on the other hand, sounds like Myrtle Beach on acid.

Zep · 18th June 2006, 05:56 PM

I was about to say the same thing. One of Timothy Leary's ancestors from the biblical times, perhaps?

c4ts · 18th June 2006, 06:13 PM

Originally Posted by TragicMonkey

The New Jerusalem, on the other hand, sounds like Myrtle Beach on acid.

Even Myrtle Beach on acid doesn't have to contend with 500km/h winds in the upper troposphere. The thin little jasper walls of New Jerusalem do. Good thing Revelations says God lives there, because you'd need an omnipotent being to keep the walls from caving in and crushing the city! I now want to see if it lists how tall the Beast is, since I think it said the tail was long enough to knock stars out of the sky. Just in case the city isn't scraping the Holy Firmament and doing similar damage...

a_unique_person · 18th June 2006, 06:20 PM

Originally Posted by JamesDillon

Maybe it's on a rotating stand? Talk about tacky.

Can I buy a limited edition from Franklin Mint?

Zep · 18th June 2006, 09:41 PM

It's only available from Plaster Fun House...

c4ts · 19th June 2006, 12:17 AM

Originally Posted by Zep

It's only available from Plaster Fun House...

Limited edition God lamp sold separately.

Kopji · 19th June 2006, 01:03 AM

The prophecy forum from the OP is worth a trip.

Quote:

Either I'm crazy or God is helping me

I am going out on a limb here with admitting this. I have been seeing this kind of slightly fuzzy picture in my mind whenever I see Rev. 20:11 or think of the year 2011 and now at any unexpected time, out of nowhere. I have a funny feeling that something is going to happen in that year. I don't like to date guess on anything but I keep seeing something that is like fire, yet not burning fire the way I normally would see fire, I also see a lot of dust around it. It's hard to explain but it's like a flash of fire that has been frozen in my mind. the flash is still and the dust is still. It's really weird. I don't understand why I see this.
http://forums.prospero.com/n/mb/mess...g=5303.1&ctx=1

Dog Boots · 19th June 2006, 05:15 AM

Originally Posted by c4ts

I wonder why John has to be on a mountain to see this. Given the size of the thing, a ground view isn't much different. How is he able to see the other sides?

Besides: Was he a jeweller, geologist or something? I should be lucky to name just one of those stones correctly...

Legalduck · 19th June 2006, 08:39 AM

Originally Posted by kopji

The prophecy forum from the OP is worth a trip.

Quote:

Either I'm crazy or God is helping me

I am going out on a limb here with admitting this. I have been seeing this kind of slightly fuzzy picture in my mind whenever I see Rev. 20:11 or think of the year 2011 and now at any unexpected time, out of nowhere. I have a funny feeling that something is going to happen in that year.

bolding mine

Uhhh...something is going to happen on 2011? As opposed to those other years when nothing happens? I'm not sure which is more vague. The Book of Revelation or the fundie interpetations of it.

c4ts · 19th June 2006, 09:01 AM

Originally Posted by Legalduck

bolding mine

Uhhh...something is going to happen on 2011? As opposed to those other years when nothing happens? I'm not sure which is more vague. The Book of Revelation or the fundie interpetations of it.

Might be some other prophecy, like the Mayan calendar. But why would any Christian believe those demon-worshipping bloodthirsty Mayans?

c4ts · 19th June 2006, 09:11 AM

Originally Posted by Dog Boots

Besides: Was he a jeweller, geologist or something? I should be lucky to name just one of those stones correctly...

Each stone was associated with a tribe of Israel, I think. All John needed to know was the tribes and their identifying symbols.

slingblade · 19th June 2006, 10:12 AM

Funny how most of those are semi-precious gems, not precious.
I wonder if they were more valuable at the time of the writing?

And you don't necessarily have to be a gemologist to recognize them. I'd know most of them on sight, because I do beadwork and use them all the time in my jewelry.

Deus Ex Machina · 19th June 2006, 10:24 AM

well I just want to be sure that those of us "left behind" get to grab all the good stuff our "saved brethren" will be leaving behind.

I have a neighbor who is 'saved' and I asked him to put it in writing that I get his ATV if he suddenly disappears in the Capture (oops - Rapture) - surprisingly enough he did not find that amusing - and I never got the signed note either.

slingblade · 19th June 2006, 11:17 AM

Originally Posted by Deus Ex Machina

well I just want to be sure that those of us "left behind" get to grab all the good stuff our "saved brethren" will be leaving behind.

I have a neighbor who is 'saved' and I asked him to put it in writing that I get his ATV if he suddenly disappears in the Capture (oops - Rapture) - surprisingly enough he did not find that amusing - and I never got the signed note either.

I have dibs on my ex's mansion, so back off!

Legalduck · 19th June 2006, 11:47 AM

Originally Posted by Deus Ex Machina

well I just want to be sure that those of us "left behind" get to grab all the good stuff our "saved brethren" will be leaving behind.

I have a neighbor who is 'saved' and I asked him to put it in writing that I get his ATV if he suddenly disappears in the Capture (oops - Rapture) - surprisingly enough he did not find that amusing - and I never got the signed note either.

I've tried this tactic with a few end of the world types (not just the Chirstian fundamental-cases). It never seems to work. I've even tried it with Killik on another board when he said the world was "transforming" sometime in 2016 (or 2026, can't remember which). He just said he didn't have any assets that anyone would want.

I'd love to get look at the finances of some these doomsayers, especially Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell. I have to wonder how many of them have long term investments, despite all their talk of "real soon now."

EnanMyHero · 19th June 2006, 12:18 PM

Well I'm gonna make sure I have one of those super industrial bulldozers to clear the freeways of all those cars of those people who make it up... plus means I get to break stuff and wreak havoc! Ahh good times...

c4ts · 19th June 2006, 12:38 PM

Originally Posted by slingblade

Funny how most of those are semi-precious gems, not precious.
I wonder if they were more valuable at the time of the writing?

And you don't necessarily have to be a gemologist to recognize them. I'd know most of them on sight, because I do beadwork and use them all the time in my jewelry.

The stones were based on the colors of the tribal standards in the OT. The gems were originally part of a breastplate described in Exodus. The entire chaper is somewhat wardrobe obsessed:

Quote:

15And thou shalt make the breastplate of judgment with cunning work; after the work of the ephod thou shalt make it; of gold, of blue, and of purple, and of scarlet, and of fine twined linen, shalt thou make it.

16Foursquare it shall be being doubled; a span shall be the length thereof, and a span shall be the breadth thereof.

17And thou shalt set in it settings of stones, even four rows of stones: the first row shall be a sardius, a topaz, and a carbuncle: this shall be the first row.

18And the second row shall be an emerald, a sapphire, and a diamond.

19And the third row a ligure, an agate, and an amethyst.

20And the fourth row a beryl, and an onyx, and a jasper: they shall be set in gold in their inclosings.

21And the stones shall be with the names of the children of Israel, twelve, according to their names, like the engravings of a signet; every one with his name shall they be according to the twelve tribes.

Well, sort of. They don't quite match up in the King James Version. New Jerusalem doesn't have any diamond foundations, for example. But you get the idea. Four foundations with three different kinds of stones, four rows of three stones on the breastplate.

Correa Neto · 19th June 2006, 12:49 PM

Never mind wasting your money on the bulldozer... The criteria for being selected to be raptured are so tight that I think there will be plenty of people left behind. Actually I suspect the world would be a better place without the "rapture-ready folks".

@ Legalduck: I used the same line with Killik here. He gave me the same answer. I insisted, saying I still would be interested, just for the sport of a bet against his beliefs. Never got an answer

psy kick · 19th June 2006, 06:03 PM

Originally Posted by Legalduck

I've tried this tactic with a few end of the world types (not just the Chirstian fundamental-cases). It never seems to work. I've even tried it with Killik on another board when he said the world was "transforming" sometime in 2016 (or 2026, can't remember which). He just said he didn't have any assets that anyone would want.

I'd love to get look at the finances of some these doomsayers, especially Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell. I have to wonder how many of them have long term investments, despite all their talk of "real soon now."

Well, you can have my stuff when I am raptured (as long as others are too and its not just me missing).
All I have though, is some clothing (female) 1 book, shampoo, etc.
Have no car, no house, no income.

JamesDillon · 19th June 2006, 07:16 PM

Originally Posted by psy kick

Well, you can have my stuff when I am raptured (as long as others are too and its not just me missing).
All I have though, is some clothing (female) 1 book, shampoo, etc.
Have no car, no house, no income.

Where do you plug in your computer?

psy kick · 19th June 2006, 08:54 PM

Live at my father's house, the computer was free for my son's homeschooling.

fuelair · 19th June 2006, 09:47 PM

Originally Posted by JamesDillon

Maybe it's on a rotating stand? Talk about tacky.

Sort of a sit on it and rotate thing

EnanMyHero · 20th June 2006, 12:10 AM

Originally Posted by Correa Neto

Never mind wasting your money on the bulldozer... The criteria for being selected to be raptured are so tight that I think there will be plenty of people left behind. Actually I suspect the world would be a better place without the "rapture-ready folks".

@ Legalduck: I used the same line with Killik here. He gave me the same answer. I insisted, saying I still would be interested, just for the sport of a bet against his beliefs. Never got an answer

Bah who says anythinga bout spending money on a bulldozer? I just said get me one... and the people who are smart will get out of the way and the empty cars will be demolished most satisfactorly. A guy can dream can't he?

Zep · 20th June 2006, 04:47 AM

The usual response to the Rapturefolks is to say that it actually happened in 1998, and yes - they WERE left behind...with us heathens. Whatbadluck. *snort*

18th June 2006, 06:53 AM	#1
a_unique_person Director of Hatcheries and Conditioning Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Sitting in the ghostly glow of an LCD screen Posts: 26,942	"Left Behind" fundies can't believe America not mentioned in Bible Prophecy Just when I needed a laugh. Quote: First Possibility: America will still be a powerful nation in the last days, but the Lord simply chose not to mention her specifically. One of the hardest things for American prophecy students to accept is that the United States is not clearly mentioned in Bible prophecy, yet... continues. http://secure.agoramedia.com/leftbeh...ftbehind22.asp
	__________________ "I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours." SH Roberts " Tell people something they know already and they will thank you for it. Tell them something new and they will hate you for it." Monbiot "I am not the fine man you take me for"

18th June 2006, 07:04 AM	#2
Zep Guest Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 24,230	Second possibility: America doesn't survive The End Times, and is indeed "left behind", with all these people who thought they would be riding the tail of the comet now. Which makes far more sense as to why it doesn't rate a mention in the (amazin' prophecyin') bible.
Zep Guest Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 24,230

18th June 2006, 07:56 AM	#3
writerdd Thinker Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 132	If the Bible is the literal word of God, whey do they instist on interpreting Revelations metaphorically?
writerdd Thinker Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 132

18th June 2006, 11:30 AM	#4
RandFan Mormon Atheist Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Southern California Posts: 31,091	Originally Posted by writerdd If the Bible is the literal word of God, whey do they instist on interpreting Revelations metaphorically?
	__________________ www.StopSylvia.com. Nothing wrong with God removing people from this world and bringing them to the next. --hamelekim

18th June 2006, 12:13 PM	#5
Mark A. Siefert Master Poster Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Muskego, WI. Posts: 2,956	Originally Posted by writerdd If the Bible is the literal word of God, whey do they instist on interpreting Revelations metaphorically? In the P&T: Bull's Hit episode on "End Of World" fanatics, they featured Texe "Hillary R. Clinton is a Lesbian Witch!" Marrs who poo-pooed the notion that Revelations that is an allegory... right before making his own on-the-spot Biblical interpretation by declaring that the current tattooing trend is a manifestation of the "Mark Of The Beast." So much for literalism.
	__________________ No Gods! No Masters! Mark A. SIefert

18th June 2006, 12:22 PM	#6
psy kick Critical Thinker Join Date: Feb 2002 Posts: 303	America could be Babylon. Or it could be aligned with the EU.
psy kick Critical Thinker Join Date: Feb 2002 Posts: 303	__________________ Yay Israel!

18th June 2006, 01:42 PM	#7
Mark A. Siefert Master Poster Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Muskego, WI. Posts: 2,956	Originally Posted by psy kick America could be Babylon. Or it could be aligned with the EU. Excuse me, but if you think the Bible should be taken literally (as the fundimentalists who buy into the "End Times" BS) there is no "could be" involved.
	__________________ No Gods! No Masters! Mark A. SIefert

18th June 2006, 01:56 PM	#8
Kopji Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Mogollon Rim Posts: 6,114	This is one of the reasons Mormonism is so popular. The 'New Jerusalem' is in Independence MO. The entire end times scenario is centered around the US being brought into existence by God. Hallelujah.

18th June 2006, 01:56 PM	#9
JamesDillon Graduate Poster Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: New York City Posts: 1,876	Originally Posted by Mark A. Siefert Excuse me, but if you think the Bible should be taken literally (as the fundimentalists who buy into the "End Times" BS) there is no "could be" involved. The fundie explanation for all those apparent anachronisms (or more accurately, the exact opposite of anachronism, but I don't think such a word exists) is that the prophets of the Bible "didn't understand what they were seeing, so they explained it in terms familiar to the people at the time." That's why Ezekiel "really" saw an alien spacecraft, etc., etc.
	__________________ "To read the bible without horror, we must undo every thing that is tender, sympathising, and benevolent in the heart of man." --Thomas Paine, The Age of Reason

18th June 2006, 02:00 PM	#10
c4ts Philosopher Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Your base Posts: 8,428	Given the size and construction materials of New Jerusalem, I do wonder if it would fall down. It's a cube more than 200 times higher than Mt. Everest, ending somewhere around Earth's exosphere, its walls are about 65m thick and made out of semiprecious stones. Oh never mind it's the EU!
	__________________ Ha ha ha ha.... Stupid signature size limit.

18th June 2006, 02:02 PM	#11
TragicMonkey Poisoned Waffles Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Monkey Posts: 16,656	Originally Posted by c4ts Given the size and construction materials of New Jerusalem, I do wonder if it would fall down. It's a cube more than 200 times higher than Mt. Everest, ending somewhere around Earth's exosphere, its walls are about 65m thick and made out of semiprecious stones. It sounds....tacky.
	__________________ That is a surprisingly grumpy pig considering all the colorful flowers painted on him.

18th June 2006, 02:08 PM	#12
c4ts Philosopher Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Your base Posts: 8,428	Originally Posted by TragicMonkey It sounds....tacky. Read on. Quote: 11: Having the glory of God: and her light was like unto a stone most precious, even like a jasper stone, clear as crystal; 12: And had a wall great and high, and had twelve gates, and at the gates twelve angels, and names written thereon, which are the names of the twelve tribes of the children of Israel: 13: On the east three gates; on the north three gates; on the south three gates; and on the west three gates. 14: And the wall of the city had twelve foundations, and in them the names of the twelve apostles of the Lamb. 15: And he that talked with me had a golden reed to measure the city, and the gates thereof, and the wall thereof. 16: And the city lieth foursquare, and the length is as large as the breadth: and he measured the city with the reed, twelve thousand furlongs. The length and the breadth and the height of it are equal. 17: And he measured the wall thereof, an hundred and forty and four cubits, according to the measure of a man, that is, of the angel. 18: And the building of the wall of it was of jasper: and the city was pure gold, like unto clear glass. 19: And the foundations of the wall of the city were garnished with all manner of precious stones. The first foundation was jasper; the second, sapphire; the third, a chalcedony; the fourth, an emerald; 20: The fifth, sardonyx; the sixth, sardius; the seventh, chrysolite; the eighth, beryl; the ninth, a topaz; the tenth, a chrysoprasus; the eleventh, a jacinth; the twelfth, an amethyst. 21: And the twelve gates were twelve pearls; every several gate was of one pearl: and the street of the city was pure gold, as it were transparent glass. I wonder why John has to be on a mountain to see this. Given the size of the thing, a ground view isn't much different. How is he able to see the other sides?
	__________________ Ha ha ha ha.... Stupid signature size limit. Last edited by c4ts; 18th June 2006 at 02:10 PM.

18th June 2006, 02:25 PM	#13
Mark A. Siefert Master Poster Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Muskego, WI. Posts: 2,956	Originally Posted by c4ts Read on. I wonder why John has to be on a mountain to see this. Given the size of the thing, a ground view isn't much different. How is he able to see the other sides? It's religion. It doesn't have to make sense.
	__________________ No Gods! No Masters! Mark A. SIefert

18th June 2006, 03:02 PM	#14
Skeptic Sum, ergo cogito Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Behind the chessboard Posts: 12,138	They featured Texe "Hillary R. Clinton is a Lesbian Witch!" Marrs The funny thing about America is that, nowadays, with all the new-age Wicca stuff, there probably ARE people who proudly describe themselves as "lesbian witches", and aren't even considered odd. It would be funny to see this guy preaching in San Francisco, say: IDIOT: "Hillary Clinton is a lesbian witch!" Crowd: "Er.... so?"
	__________________ CNN, Fox, MSNBC are all terrible, all do the exact same thing: take news wire reports, add a bunch of unnecessary opinion, and then re-brand it as "infotainment" as if this were some sort of useful service. It is akin to paying me to read a newspaper to you, while interrupting frequently with my own opinion. -- Zaphod2016

18th June 2006, 04:57 PM	#15
JamesDillon Graduate Poster Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: New York City Posts: 1,876	Originally Posted by c4ts How is he able to see the other sides? Maybe it's on a rotating stand? Talk about tacky.
	__________________ "To read the bible without horror, we must undo every thing that is tender, sympathising, and benevolent in the heart of man." --Thomas Paine, The Age of Reason

18th June 2006, 05:15 PM	#16
c4ts Philosopher Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Your base Posts: 8,428	Originally Posted by JamesDillon Maybe it's on a rotating stand? Talk about tacky. No, the city remains still on a stand and the Earth rotates around it!
	__________________ Ha ha ha ha.... Stupid signature size limit.

18th June 2006, 05:46 PM	#17
TragicMonkey Poisoned Waffles Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Monkey Posts: 16,656	Ugh. No god capable of thinking up such a monstrosity could also be responsible for creating the universe. From the universe's elegant monkeys to its exquistite gibbons, from the beauty of the baboon to the magnificence of a gorilla, the universe is a work of stunning beauty. The New Jerusalem, on the other hand, sounds like Myrtle Beach on acid.
	__________________ That is a surprisingly grumpy pig considering all the colorful flowers painted on him.

18th June 2006, 05:56 PM	#18
Zep Guest Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 24,230	I was about to say the same thing. One of Timothy Leary's ancestors from the biblical times, perhaps?
Zep Guest Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 24,230

18th June 2006, 06:13 PM	#19
c4ts Philosopher Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Your base Posts: 8,428	Originally Posted by TragicMonkey The New Jerusalem, on the other hand, sounds like Myrtle Beach on acid. Even Myrtle Beach on acid doesn't have to contend with 500km/h winds in the upper troposphere. The thin little jasper walls of New Jerusalem do. Good thing Revelations says God lives there, because you'd need an omnipotent being to keep the walls from caving in and crushing the city! I now want to see if it lists how tall the Beast is, since I think it said the tail was long enough to knock stars out of the sky. Just in case the city isn't scraping the Holy Firmament and doing similar damage...
	__________________ Ha ha ha ha.... Stupid signature size limit.

18th June 2006, 06:20 PM	#20
a_unique_person Director of Hatcheries and Conditioning Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Sitting in the ghostly glow of an LCD screen Posts: 26,942	Originally Posted by JamesDillon Maybe it's on a rotating stand? Talk about tacky. Can I buy a limited edition from Franklin Mint?
	__________________ "I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours." SH Roberts " Tell people something they know already and they will thank you for it. Tell them something new and they will hate you for it." Monbiot "I am not the fine man you take me for"

18th June 2006, 09:41 PM	#21
Zep Guest Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 24,230	It's only available from Plaster Fun House...
Zep Guest Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 24,230

19th June 2006, 12:17 AM	#22
c4ts Philosopher Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Your base Posts: 8,428	Originally Posted by Zep It's only available from Plaster Fun House... Limited edition God lamp sold separately.
	__________________ Ha ha ha ha.... Stupid signature size limit.

19th June 2006, 01:03 AM	#23
Kopji Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Mogollon Rim Posts: 6,114	The prophecy forum from the OP is worth a trip. Quote: Either I'm crazy or God is helping me I am going out on a limb here with admitting this. I have been seeing this kind of slightly fuzzy picture in my mind whenever I see Rev. 20:11 or think of the year 2011 and now at any unexpected time, out of nowhere. I have a funny feeling that something is going to happen in that year. I don't like to date guess on anything but I keep seeing something that is like fire, yet not burning fire the way I normally would see fire, I also see a lot of dust around it. It's hard to explain but it's like a flash of fire that has been frozen in my mind. the flash is still and the dust is still. It's really weird. I don't understand why I see this. http://forums.prospero.com/n/mb/mess...g=5303.1&ctx=1

19th June 2006, 05:15 AM	#24
Dog Boots Thinker Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Copenhagen, Denmark Posts: 193	Originally Posted by c4ts I wonder why John has to be on a mountain to see this. Given the size of the thing, a ground view isn't much different. How is he able to see the other sides? Besides: Was he a jeweller, geologist or something? I should be lucky to name just one of those stones correctly...
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19th June 2006, 08:39 AM	#25
Legalduck Scholar Join Date: May 2006 Location: The desert Posts: 120	Originally Posted by kopji The prophecy forum from the OP is worth a trip. Quote: Either I'm crazy or God is helping me I am going out on a limb here with admitting this. I have been seeing this kind of slightly fuzzy picture in my mind whenever I see Rev. 20:11 or think of the year 2011 and now at any unexpected time, out of nowhere. I have a funny feeling that something is going to happen in that year. bolding mine Uhhh...something is going to happen on 2011? As opposed to those other years when nothing happens? I'm not sure which is more vague. The Book of Revelation or the fundie interpetations of it.

19th June 2006, 09:01 AM	#26
c4ts Philosopher Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Your base Posts: 8,428	Originally Posted by Legalduck bolding mine Uhhh...something is going to happen on 2011? As opposed to those other years when nothing happens? I'm not sure which is more vague. The Book of Revelation or the fundie interpetations of it. Might be some other prophecy, like the Mayan calendar. But why would any Christian believe those demon-worshipping bloodthirsty Mayans?
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19th June 2006, 09:11 AM	#27
c4ts Philosopher Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Your base Posts: 8,428	Originally Posted by Dog Boots Besides: Was he a jeweller, geologist or something? I should be lucky to name just one of those stones correctly... Each stone was associated with a tribe of Israel, I think. All John needed to know was the tribes and their identifying symbols.
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19th June 2006, 10:12 AM	#28
slingblade 63% similar to you Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: In This Fog, Who Knows? Posts: 13,122	Funny how most of those are semi-precious gems, not precious. I wonder if they were more valuable at the time of the writing? And you don't necessarily have to be a gemologist to recognize them. I'd know most of them on sight, because I do beadwork and use them all the time in my jewelry.
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19th June 2006, 10:24 AM	#29
Deus Ex Machina Critical Thinker Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Colorado Posts: 492	well I just want to be sure that those of us "left behind" get to grab all the good stuff our "saved brethren" will be leaving behind. I have a neighbor who is 'saved' and I asked him to put it in writing that I get his ATV if he suddenly disappears in the Capture (oops - Rapture) - surprisingly enough he did not find that amusing - and I never got the signed note either.
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19th June 2006, 11:17 AM	#30
slingblade 63% similar to you Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: In This Fog, Who Knows? Posts: 13,122	Originally Posted by Deus Ex Machina well I just want to be sure that those of us "left behind" get to grab all the good stuff our "saved brethren" will be leaving behind. I have a neighbor who is 'saved' and I asked him to put it in writing that I get his ATV if he suddenly disappears in the Capture (oops - Rapture) - surprisingly enough he did not find that amusing - and I never got the signed note either. I have dibs on my ex's mansion, so back off!
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19th June 2006, 11:47 AM	#31
Legalduck Scholar Join Date: May 2006 Location: The desert Posts: 120	Originally Posted by Deus Ex Machina well I just want to be sure that those of us "left behind" get to grab all the good stuff our "saved brethren" will be leaving behind. I have a neighbor who is 'saved' and I asked him to put it in writing that I get his ATV if he suddenly disappears in the Capture (oops - Rapture) - surprisingly enough he did not find that amusing - and I never got the signed note either. I've tried this tactic with a few end of the world types (not just the Chirstian fundamental-cases). It never seems to work. I've even tried it with Killik on another board when he said the world was "transforming" sometime in 2016 (or 2026, can't remember which). He just said he didn't have any assets that anyone would want. I'd love to get look at the finances of some these doomsayers, especially Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell. I have to wonder how many of them have long term investments, despite all their talk of "real soon now."

19th June 2006, 12:18 PM	#32
EnanMyHero Scholar Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 60	Well I'm gonna make sure I have one of those super industrial bulldozers to clear the freeways of all those cars of those people who make it up... plus means I get to break stuff and wreak havoc! Ahh good times...
EnanMyHero Scholar Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 60

19th June 2006, 12:38 PM	#33
c4ts Philosopher Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Your base Posts: 8,428	Originally Posted by slingblade Funny how most of those are semi-precious gems, not precious. I wonder if they were more valuable at the time of the writing? And you don't necessarily have to be a gemologist to recognize them. I'd know most of them on sight, because I do beadwork and use them all the time in my jewelry. The stones were based on the colors of the tribal standards in the OT. The gems were originally part of a breastplate described in Exodus. The entire chaper is somewhat wardrobe obsessed: Quote: 15And thou shalt make the breastplate of judgment with cunning work; after the work of the ephod thou shalt make it; of gold, of blue, and of purple, and of scarlet, and of fine twined linen, shalt thou make it. 16Foursquare it shall be being doubled; a span shall be the length thereof, and a span shall be the breadth thereof. 17And thou shalt set in it settings of stones, even four rows of stones: the first row shall be a sardius, a topaz, and a carbuncle: this shall be the first row. 18And the second row shall be an emerald, a sapphire, and a diamond. 19And the third row a ligure, an agate, and an amethyst. 20And the fourth row a beryl, and an onyx, and a jasper: they shall be set in gold in their inclosings. 21And the stones shall be with the names of the children of Israel, twelve, according to their names, like the engravings of a signet; every one with his name shall they be according to the twelve tribes. Well, sort of. They don't quite match up in the King James Version. New Jerusalem doesn't have any diamond foundations, for example. But you get the idea. Four foundations with three different kinds of stones, four rows of three stones on the breastplate.
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19th June 2006, 12:49 PM	#34
Correa Neto Illuminator Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Digging for Au somewhere in Brazil Posts: 4,839	Never mind wasting your money on the bulldozer... The criteria for being selected to be raptured are so tight that I think there will be plenty of people left behind. Actually I suspect the world would be a better place without the "rapture-ready folks". @ Legalduck: I used the same line with Killik here. He gave me the same answer. I insisted, saying I still would be interested, just for the sport of a bet against his beliefs. Never got an answer
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19th June 2006, 06:03 PM	#35
psy kick Critical Thinker Join Date: Feb 2002 Posts: 303	Originally Posted by Legalduck I've tried this tactic with a few end of the world types (not just the Chirstian fundamental-cases). It never seems to work. I've even tried it with Killik on another board when he said the world was "transforming" sometime in 2016 (or 2026, can't remember which). He just said he didn't have any assets that anyone would want. I'd love to get look at the finances of some these doomsayers, especially Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell. I have to wonder how many of them have long term investments, despite all their talk of "real soon now." Well, you can have my stuff when I am raptured (as long as others are too and its not just me missing). All I have though, is some clothing (female) 1 book, shampoo, etc. Have no car, no house, no income.
psy kick Critical Thinker Join Date: Feb 2002 Posts: 303	__________________ Yay Israel!