9/11: the musical...

[LashL]

Originally Posted by jhunter1163

Take 2 of the vocals will be going to Grey today.

That's great news, jhunter. I can hardly wait to hear the finished product.

[qarnos]

Originally Posted by LashL

Excellent job, Huntsman! Now all you have to do is get it to 8.5 minutes in length...

My contribution to that 8.5 minutes:

And the three men I admired most,
Dylan, Jason and Korey Rowe.
They caught the last train for the coast,
The day the cash ran dry.

[LashL]

Okay, here's my attempt at a song. To the tune of Billy Joel's "Pianoman"

It's one o'clock on a Saturday
The regular crowd comes to shout
There's a tall man standing next to me
Giving facts to the troofers about

He says, "Why can’t you tell us the truth for once?
I'm not really sure you know how
But it's sad and it’s short, and of such great import
That I want you to listen, right now”

Tell us the truth, you’re the “truthseekers”
Tell us the truth today
Well, we’re all in the mood for some evidence
Why don’t you have something to say?

Now Mark, the tall guy, is an honest man
And he spends his time here for free
And he's quick on his feet, with the people he meets
But there's someplace that he'd rather be

He says, "Friends, I believe it is critical
To see lies of deniers debunked
I wish I could spend my time otherwise
But they just keep spewing this junk”

Now Dylan’s a failed film school applicant
Who never had much of a life
And he's talking with Korey, concocting a story
Designed to caused maximum strife
To the families and friends of the dead and gone
With their negligent “research” and lies
Yes, they’re sharing a cesspool of ignorance
Just to be “one of the guys”

Tell us the truth, you’re the “truthseekers”
Tell us the truth today
Well, we’re all in the mood for some evidence
Why don’t you have something to say?

Now Jason’s an all around sycophant
Who never had much of a clue
And he's following Jones, spouting Skull and Bones
New World Order, and oh yes, the JOOOOOOS

And there’s Alex, the practicing paranoid
Who sees Zionists under his bed
And he’s clutching a bullhorn and shouting his own porn
Whatever pops into his head

Tell us the truth, you’re the “truthseekers”
Tell us the truth today
Well, we’re all in the mood for some evidence
Why don’t you have something to say?

It's a pretty good crowd for a Saturday
And the deniers rant, rave and shout
They come to Ground Zero, to disparage the heroes,
They forget what this place is about

The deniers, they think it’s a carnival
They think evidence is not required
To accuse heroes of crimes, as long as it rhymes
And to mock all the people who died

Tell us the truth, you’re the “truthseekers”
Tell us the truth today
Well, we’re all in the mood for some evidence
Why don’t you have something to say?

The public who might have been swayed before
Had the troofers’ lies not been exposed
Now get the true picture, without ranting lecture
From Mark, Abby, Ray, Kate and those
Who give up their free time so selflessly
To counter the ranting deniers
They tell the real truth, and show folks the proof
That the “truth” movement is full of liars.

(Reprise)
...
Now it’s four o’clock on a Saturday
Another week’s work has been done
I’m happy to say, at the end of the day
Another week’s war has been won

[Orphia Nay]

Yep, that works well, garnos.

Great stuff, Huntsman, and LashL.

[Class]

Originally Posted by LashL

Okay, here's my attempt at a song. To the tune of Billy Joel's "Pianoman"

You guys have made some great songs, but I have to give it up for LashL. That was excellent!

[qarnos]

Originally Posted by Class

You guys have made some great songs, but I have to give it up for LashL. That was excellent!

I second that! Awesome work, LashL!

[LashL]

Hey! Thanks, Class and garnos.

I think we should all take on a verse of American Pie to get Huntsman's wonderful beginning up to the requisite 8.5 minutes... (love your addition, garnos!)

[LashL]

My contribution to the American Pie saga and its requisit 8.5 minutes:
(I tried to keep it in sequence with Huntman's original and just pick up the next verse)


Now for two years, we’ve been on our own
And we’ve been thoroughly trashed by Rolling Stone
But that’s not how we thought it would be.
In the old days, as we’ve heard it said
Anyone with zero cred
Could make up lies and still be believed
....


But....

(someone else, please continue)

[Hellbound]

But, while our team was looking around
The JREF brought our forum down
The topics were adjourned
No shill replies were earned!

And while Fetzer talks about plane parts
Loose Change FC filming starts
and we were chanting in New York
Cause we know, the guv'ment lied

We were chanting...

<chorus repeat>

[qarnos]

To the tune of "Losing My Religion" by R.E.M.

Quote:

Your lies get bigger.
Bigger each day,
and you disgust me.
The lengths that you will go to
to hold on to your lies.
Oh no, you've said too much.
You got it wrong.

[chorus]
Now you're stuck in corner.
You know that you're not right,
but it's like a religion.
No point in arguing with you,
but I know that I will do it.
It's like I'm talking Dutch.
I've had enough.
I find your ideas lacking,
They fail to prove a thing,
and you just told another lie.

Every whisper
of every waking hour,
you keep just asking questions.
Trying to prove you know the truth.
But you do it like a blinded fool.
Oh no, you've said too much.
You got it wrong.

Consider this.
Consider this,
the plot of the century
Consider this.
The slip - if you were right,
You'd be in jail.
What happens when your fantasies
come all falling down?
Now you've said too much.

But that's not reality.
That's not reality.

[repeat chorus]

But that's not reality.
Lies. Why? Why Lie?
That's not reality.
Reality, reality.

[LashL]

Well done, garnos.

[LashL]

Originally Posted by Huntsman

But, while our team was looking around
The JREF brought our forum down
The topics were adjourned
No shill replies were earned!

And while Fetzer talks about plane parts
Loose Change FC filming starts
and we were chanting in New York
Cause we know, the guv'ment lied

We were chanting...

<chorus repeat>

Excellent, Huntsman!

Next verse, someone? It's the one that starts with "Helter Skelter in a summer swelter" in the original version....

nudge nudge

(we'll get this to 8.5 minutes in no time )

[Orphia Nay]

Love it, garnos!

[qarnos]

Thanks, LashL and orhpia nay!

Originally Posted by LashL

Excellent, Huntsman!

Next verse, someone? It's the one that starts with "Helter Skelter in a summer swelter" in the original version....

nudge nudge

(we'll get this to 8.5 minutes in no time )

I've been trying to work on this but "Helter Skelter" is quite a pain to rhyme with anything!

I'll put my thinking cap on and see what I can do.

[LashL]

Originally Posted by qarnos

Thanks, LashL and orhpia nay!



I've been trying to work on this but "Helter Skelter" is quite a pain to rhyme with anything!

I'll put my thinking cap on and see what I can do.

Agreed, it's a tough one... but Fetzer leaps to mind for some reason....and the "eight mile" and "fall out" references seem to be shoe ins for flight 93 at Shanksville, somehow.

[qarnos]

Ohhh, yes! Fetzer!!!

It's like it was meant to be...

I thought "landed foul on the grass" gives us a good chance to take a stab at Killtowns "why isn't the grass scorched" crap.

Speaking of which, what happened with him? I know he got suspended but I haven't heard anything since. I'm bored of TS and Christophera.

Anyway, for anyone contributing, here are the original lyrics for the verse:

Quote:

Helter skelter in a summer swelter.
The birds flew off with a fallout shelter,
Eight miles high and falling fast.
It landed foul on the grass.
The players tried for a forward pass,
With the jester on the sidelines in a cast.

Now the half-time air was sweet perfume
While the sergeants played a marching tune.
We all got up to dance,
Oh, but we never got the chance!
`cause the players tried to take the field;
The marching band refused to yield.
Do you recall what was revealed
The day the music died?

And then I think we are half way through it.

[Orphia Nay]

Cheers, garnos.

It's not an exact rhyme, but it's alliterative instead: Metal melter?

Just a thought.

Helter skelter
Thermite metal melter
(It) don't explode
But it shoots my load...

LOL. Er, I've just had a beer, so forgive me.

[qarnos]

Originally Posted by orphia nay

Cheers, garnos.

It's not an exact rhyme, but it's alliterative instead: Metal melter?

Just a thought.

Helter skelter
Thermite metal melter
(It) don't explode
But it shoots my load...

LOL. Er, I've just had a beer, so forgive me.

We must be tuned into the same psychic vibrational frequencies... I was thinking along the "melter" lines, too.

I am also working on a parody which contains the line "Upward fusion destruction beams"... I'll let you know how that ones goes!

[Orphia Nay]

Hehehe. I'll split the million with you if we can come up with a test protocol and prove it.

Looking forward to your UFDB verse. And Merc/jhunter/greyleonard's recording! Bumpity bump!

I'm peeved that Merc wasn't listed as a TLA candidate for his lyrics. Now I have to choose between his other post, Gravy, and MDeC's 'JAQing off'!

[sleahead]

With ideas borrowed from you two, here's my attempt at the helter skelter section:

Thermite, thermate, it's a metal melter
Steven Jones thought his paper a belter
Now debunked, it's falling fast
"93 never scorched grass"
Killtown talking outta his arse
With his theory everybody had a blast



Now the South Park air was sweet perfume
Said the troofers were a bunch of loons
We all got up to dance,
Oh, Dylan never had a chance!
Dylan tried make the truth yield
But mad ideas he chose to field
Do you recall what was revealed
The day that South Park aired

[jhunter1163]

I haven't heard from Grey at all.. I sent him the vocals Thursday though. I expect he does have a life outside JREF, so I'm not going to criticize him. But if you're lurking, Grey... I AM really curious to see how good you can make me sound..

[LashL]

Originally Posted by sleahead

With ideas borrowed from you two, here's my attempt at the helter skelter section:

Thermite, thermate, it's a metal melter
Steven Jones thought his paper a belter
Now debunked, it's falling fast
"93 never scorched grass"
Killtown talking outta his arse
With his theory everybody had a blast



Now the South Park air was sweet perfume
Said the troofers were a bunch of loons
We all got up to dance,
Oh, Dylan never had a chance!
Dylan tried make the truth yield
But mad ideas he chose to field
Do you recall what was revealed
The day that South Park aired

Great job, sleahead!

Who's up for the next verse?

[LashL]

Originally Posted by jhunter1163

I haven't heard from Grey at all.. I sent him the vocals Thursday though. I expect he does have a life outside JREF, so I'm not going to criticize him. But if you're lurking, Grey... I AM really curious to see how good you can make me sound..

Judging from the teaser that was posted previously, I have no doubt at all that it is going to sound GREAT!

Can hardly wait

[G-K-4]

Here is another filk (?) for the collection. But first, a word of explanation.

There is a man alive today who goes by the name Voltaire. He is a musician and a writer of comic books, and his work is usually based out of the Goth subculture. But he has also released an EP making fun of Star Trek.

One of the songs on Banned on Vulcan is called "The USS Make [rule8] Up". You can hear it at:
http://www.voltaire.net/mp3/Voltaire...ke-S***-Up.mp3 (You will have to replace the asterisks.) You can get the melody from that, and you Trekkers will probably find it funny anyway.

I thought this would practically write itself as far as conspiracy theories go. Enjoy.

---------------------------------

The WWW Make S*** Up Lyrics

Based on a song by Voltaire


Well, I was surfing on the Internet, clicking on the mouse,
Protected by the Faraday cage I built around my house,
When I found a truthy website from well beyond the pale.
A ghost story for grown ups, a lucrative tall tale.

Bust a move, ZOG.


I dug a little deeper, and I soon found out the truth
About that nine-eleven, with phat beats for the youth.
A hundred thousand downloads was too good to ignore.
A viral marketing phenom built on non sequitor.


And I say,
Flash an upward fusion beam off the tinfoil satellite dish
That’s the way we do things, lad, we're making s*** up as we wish
The Neocons and Freemasons pose no threat to us
'Cause if we find we're in a bind we just make some s*** up


The trailblazing writers past have showed us all the way
With many books on Jews, Illuminati, J.F.K.
The built-in C.T. market will win you a fine book deal.
Just C.Y.A. with weasel words. Who cares if it’s not real?

And if you're at a party and you want to sound astute
Just make some pointed “question” claims that no one can dispute.
Impress people with obscure facts on thermite, grassy knolls,
International bankers, or Satan stealing souls.

And I say
Flash an upward fusion beam off the tinfoil satellite dish
That’s the way we do things, lad, we're making s*** up as we wish
The Neocons and Freemasons pose no threat to us
'Cause if we find we're in a bind we just make some s*** up


And though he's just a child, and some think him a twit
Jason is the master when it comes to making up some s***.
And if you want a truth expert, to Alex you must go.
He’ll rail about the gummint shills and N.W.O.

Well, I was once in England, where I listened to a speech.
David spoke of lizardmen, to warn us he’d beseech.
I thought I’d seen this show before, and then it dawned on me
It was way back in the eighties when they used to call it "V".

And I say
Flash an upward fusion beam off the tinfoil satellite dish
That’s the way we do things, lad, we're making s*** up as we wish
The Neocons and Freemasons pose no threat to us
'Cause if we find we're in a bind we just make some s*** up

We were looking for a cheap way to sell more DVD’s
So we uploaded our movie for the kids to watch for free.
Normally you'd think that that would be wasted expense,
But one quarter of the people’s still a hefty audience

There’s one born every minute, an endless, free supply
Of suckers we can fearmonger to make them buy and buy.
Barnum was a genius, but not even he could see
The marketing potential of a good conspiracy.

And I say
Flash an upward fusion beam off the tinfoil satellite dish
That’s the way we do things, lad, we're making s*** up as we wish
The Neocons and Freemasons pose no threat to us
'Cause if we find we're in a bind we're totally screwed but nevermind
We'll pull something out of our behinds, we just make some s*** up

[c4ts]

The Epic of Richard Koshimizu

Oh dem bombs, dem bombs,
Dem hydrogen bombs.
Dem bombs, dem bombs,
Dem hydrogen bombs.
Dem bombs, dem bombs,
Dem hydrogen bombs.
Oh mercy, how they hide!

With the terrorist connected
to George Bush,
and George Bush connected
to the Rothschild,
and the Rothschild connected
to the Stealth Jew.
Oh mercy, how they hide!

Oh dem Jews, dem Jews,
Dem Zionist Jews.
Dem Jews, dem Jews,
Dem Zionist Jews.
Dem Jews, dem Jews,
Dem Zionist Jews.
Oh mercy, how they hide!

With Hillary connected
to the Kim Jong,
and Kim Jong connected
to the Sun Moon,
and Sun Moon connected
to the Stealth Jew.
Oh mercy, how they hide!

Oh dem Jews, dem Jews,
Dem Zionist Jews.
Dem Jews, dem Jews,
Dem Zionist Jews.
Dem Jews, dem Jews,
Dem Zionist Jews.
Oh mercy, how they hide!

With Tojo connected
to Abe Lincoln,
and Honest Abe connected
to Rockefeller,
and Rockefeller connected
to the Stealth Jew,
Oh mercy, how they hide!

Oh dem Jews, dem Jews,
Dem Zionist Jews.
Dem Jews, dem Jews,
Dem Zionist Jews.
Dem Jews, dem Jews,
Dem Zionist Jews.
Oh mercy, how they hide!

With the Stealth Jew connected
to the Twin Towers,
and the Twin Towers connected
to the Chinese,
and the Chinese connected
to my e-mail,
Oh mercy, how they hide!

Oh dem Jews, dem Jews,
Dem Zionist Jews.
Dem Jews, dem Jews,
Dem Zionist Jews.
Dem Jews, dem Jews,
Dem Zionist Jews.
Oh mercy, how they hide!

With the Holocaust connected
to the Hitler,
and the Hitler connected
to the Stealth Jew,
and the Stealth Jew connected
to Something Awful.com
Oh mercy, how they hide!

[uk_dave]

To the tune of Radiohead's "Karma Police"


See Tee police, embrace this man, he talks in lies
He fudges like a child, hes like a paranoid madman
See Tee police, embrace this girl, her CT theory, is making me feel ill
And we have crushed her theory
This is what you get, this is what you get
This is what you get, when you mess with facts

See Tee police, I've given you the truth, its not enough
I've given you the truth, but you're still asking
This is what you get, this is what you get
This is what you get, when you mess with facts
And for a minute there, you lost your sense
And for a minute there, you lost your sense

For a minute there, you lost your sense, you lost your sense.....


Well....it was a first effort!

[LashL]

G-K-4 ~ excellent job! You're right, it gives off a "feel" of practically writing itself. Oh, so appropriate.

c4ts ~ another fine job!

Uk_dave ~

A terrific first effort, indeed!

Keep 'em coming

[Orphia Nay]

Woohoo! More musical mayhem!


Well done, sleahead.

Very nice, G-K-4. Love the chorus - very funny. My sound card's borked on this puter and I don't know the tune, but your lyrics are excellent.

c4ts, that's hilarious! A few reads of your lyrics and I'll have forgotten the original completely.

ukdave... CT Police - classic!

[G-K-4]

LashL and orphia nay, thanks for the compliments.

Originally Posted by orphia nay

My sound card's borked on this puter and I don't know the tune, but your lyrics are excellent.

If you can't find the music file, the melody still isn't too hard to imagine. Each line is split into two phrases, and it's all boisterous. For some reason the melody reminds me of one of those rowdy pirates songs.

[jhunter1163]

Grey tells me he'll have something for us in a couple of days. Can't wait..

[LashL]

Originally Posted by jhunter1163

Grey tells me he'll have something for us in a couple of days. Can't wait..

Awesome! I can't wait either

[Orphia Nay]

Cheers, G-K-4.

Yay, jhunter!!

* Orphia Nay does mental cheerleader dance for Team JREF Parody Ninja Squad.

[jhunter1163]

I've had this one kicking around in my head for a while...

Tune: Barry Mann's "Who Put The Bomp"

Oh, I'd like to meet the guy
Who dropped the bomb
That made ol' Dylan think "conspiracy"...

(chorus)
Who put the bomb, in the Pent-a-Pentagon?
Who put the nan in the nano-nano-thermite?
Who put the HOP in the HOP-LIHOP-MIHOP?
Who put the dip in the dip-a-dip(rule8)?
Who was that man?
I'd like to kick his (rule8)
He made our Dylan think about CT...

When ol' Dylan heard
Bomb-ba-ba-bomb-ba-bomb-a-bomb-bomb
Every word went right into his heart
And when Jones heard them saying
Nan-a-nan-a-nano-nano-thermite
He said "I've got to play a part"..

So... (repeat chorus)

Each time he's alone
Chingity-chingity-chingity-chingity-ching
Sets ol' Dylan's heart all aglow
And when LC recruits a
Dip-da-dip-a-dip-dip-a-dip-da-dip
He tumbles down the rabbit hole..

So.. (repeat chorus)

[chipmunk stew]

Originally Posted by jhunter1163

I've had this one kicking around in my head for a while...

Tune: Barry Mann's "Who Put The Bomp"

Oh, I'd like to meet the guy
Who dropped the bomb
That made ol' Dylan think "conspiracy"...

(chorus)
Who put the bomb, in the Pent-a-Pentagon?
Who put the nan in the nano-nano-thermite?
Who put the HOP in the HOP-LIHOP-MIHOP?
Who put the dip in the dip-a-dip(rule8)?
Who was that man?
I'd like to kick his (rule8)
He made our Dylan think about CT...

When ol' Dylan heard
Bomb-ba-ba-bomb-ba-bomb-a-bomb-bomb
And when Jones heard them saying
Nan-a-nan-a-nano-nano-thermite
He said "I've got to play a part"..

So... (repeat chorus)

I'm picturing a group of JREF ninjas and "Grease"-style staging/choreography. teehee!

[chipmunk stew]

I think we've been unintentionally out-parodied!

I saw this at Screw Loose Change:
http://www.acebaker.com/9-11/JudyWood/JudyWould.html

[jhunter1163]

That should be on the CTist Greatest Hits CD. Right there with the LIHOP/MIHOP song.

[jhunter1163]

This one just wrote itself...

(tune: Simon and Garfunkel's "The Boxer")

Dylan's just a poor boy, and his story's seldom told
He lives out in Oneonta, tried to get into the film school, showed no promise there
He lies and jests
He's a man who hears what he wants to hear and disregards the rest

When he left his home and his family, he was no more than a boy
In the company of Jason, in the quiet of the railway station running scared
Laying low, seeking out the poorer quarters where the wacky people go
Looking for the places no JREFer knows

("lie-la-lie" part goes here)

Asking only workman's wages, he went looking for a job but he got no offers
Just a come-on from that wacky Prison Planet dude
I do declare, it appears that he was so lonesome he took some comfort there

("lie-la-lie" part goes here)

On the corner stands a Troofer, he's a fighter for his cause
But he carries the reminders, of that debunk that laid him out
And cut him till he cried out, in his anger and his shame
I am leaving, I am leaving, but the Troofer still remains...

("lie-la-lie" part, to end)

[LashL]

Terrific additions, jhunter!

Like chipmunk, I can't help but picture the Grease line for the "who put the bomp" takeoff

[qarnos]

Gravy, One More Time to the tune of Baby, One More Time by Britney Spears

Quote:

Oh Gravy, Gravy.
Oh Gravy, Gravy.

Oh Gravy, Gravy. How was I supposed to know?
My math just wasn't right, yeah.
Oh Gravy, Gravy. Why couldn't you let me go?
Now I've started cryin'.
Show me, how you think it should be.
Tell me, Gravy, 'cause I need to know, now.
Oh because.

CHORUS

My stubborness is killin' me (and I)
I must confess, I still belive (still believe)
When you debunk me I lose my mind.
Give me a sign,
Hit me, Gravy, one more time.

Oh Gravy, Gravy. The cause of my grief is you.
Boy, you've got me frighted.
Oh Gravy, Gravy. There's nothin' that I wouldn't do.
To show you how they planned it.
Show me, how you think it should be.
Tell me, Gravy, 'cause I need to know, now
Oh because.

REPEAT CHORUS

Oh Gravy, Gravy. How was I supposed to know?
Oh Gravy, Gravy. Why couldn't you let me go?

I must confess that my stubbornness
is the only way how
I can hold on to my beliefs.
So won't you come here
and give me a sign?
Hit me Gravy, one more time.

REPEAT CHORUS

I must confess (my stubborness)
that my stubborness (is the only way)
is the only way how (I must confess)
I can hold on to my beliefs.
So won't you come here (I'm losin' my mind)
and give me a sign?
Hit me Gravy, one more time.

[jhunter1163]

That's beautiful, Qarnos. How many have we got up here now? We must be getting close to a full CD. Look for it at TAM.... LOL