Proof The Flying Spaghetti Monster Doesn't Exist!

Apathia · 1st October 2006, 12:22 PM

I decided not to Piggyback this on another thread.

Leading 20th Century FSM (Flying Spaghetti Monster) Theologian Carl Barf clarified the profound teaching of the "God beyond God," in respect to the Flying Spaghetti Monster. "God Beyond God" as some of you theologs know is the GOD who stands behind the God of Christian conception ever ready to kick him in the but if he tries some of that Old Testament stuff again. Carl Barf said that the FSM was this very GBG.

He went on to explicate and expand upon the deepest Theological teachings of the West by identifying the FSM as the "Wholly Other" beyond all human rational conceptualizations. He said, "Human experience and intelligence are but a scratch on the surface of reality. We don't know Jack, so how can we know the FSM who is entirely beyond anything we can conceive. We make Gods in our own image and even images we call the FSM, but these are all as idols smashed in the Presence of His Glory!"

The FSM is Infinite and Boundless, and therefore according to Barf's early works, not an entity as you or I but "Being" itself. But Barf eschewed this view in latter works, saying that "Being" was a human philosophical conception that nevertheless boxed up the FSM for take-out. "We can never say what the FSM is, only what the FSM is not. The FSN is not Being. The FSM is Nonbeing. Nonbeing is empty of concept."

So we come our favorite question. Does the FSM exist?
To exist means to stand out as an object distinctly unique from other objects.
But the FSM is no object! The FSM cannot be finitely limited to one thing apart from other things. That's why Professor Barf finally admited the year of his death that to say what the FSM was not was as equally in error as saying what it was. He then burned all his books and papers and knelt before the porcelain god.

Existance is a limiting concept. The FSM is that which has no limitation. Therefore the FSM does not exist!

(Disclaimer if needed: the above post is satire.)

Tsukasa Buddha · 1st October 2006, 01:58 PM

La la la la la! Not listening! Oh FSM, smite this unbeliever!

Dancing David · 1st October 2006, 06:36 PM

The Cosmic Coyote ate the FSM and the Great Burrito!

saizai · 1st October 2006, 09:33 PM

Aw, cm'on. You can do better satire.

thomps1d · 2nd October 2006, 08:02 AM

Originally Posted by Hyparxis

Existance is a limiting concept. The FSM is that which has no limitation. Therefore the FSM does not exist!

(Disclaimer if needed: the above post is satire.)

Or (and prepare to have your mind blown so badly that you'll need to pee) does the FSM exist so much that it creates a limitation of non-possible existence, thus limiting it as a creature, and thus defining that it does, in fact, exist?

HeyLeroy · 2nd October 2006, 09:23 AM

You'll all boil for eternity in the stewy pot of Ragout for your heresies.

More room at the beer volcano for me, I guess.

Apathia · 2nd October 2006, 10:08 AM

Originally Posted by thomps1d

Or (and prepare to have your mind blown so badly that you'll need to pee) does the FSM exist so much that it creates a limitation of non-possible existence, thus limiting it as a creature, and thus defining that it does, in fact, exist?

Ah, poor Professor Barf! He'd have loved that. The FSM can't be limited by or excluded in any way, so existance cannot be denied the FSM!
Transcendance is Transcended! (The Shade of St. Anselm)

I less than three logic · 2nd October 2006, 10:13 AM

I think I can feel the blood vessels in my brain tying themselves into knots whilst reading this thread.

CapelDodger · 2nd October 2006, 02:49 PM

Originally Posted by HeyLeroy

More room at the beer volcano for me, I guess.

See you there. I, too, like warm beer. It's a cultural thing. Not that I won't visit the beer glaciar, or the whisky tree, from time to time. In the FSM eternity - which sooooo outstrips lesser eternities, way more than real numbers outstrip fractions - I will spend an eternity at each, in succession, with excursions (I'm rather fond of tequila, for instance) for ever.

1st October 2006, 12:22 PM	#1
Apathia Master Poster Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Tempe, AZ Posts: 2,937	Proof The Flying Spaghetti Monster Doesn't Exist! I decided not to Piggyback this on another thread. Leading 20th Century FSM (Flying Spaghetti Monster) Theologian Carl Barf clarified the profound teaching of the "God beyond God," in respect to the Flying Spaghetti Monster. "God Beyond God" as some of you theologs know is the GOD who stands behind the God of Christian conception ever ready to kick him in the but if he tries some of that Old Testament stuff again. Carl Barf said that the FSM was this very GBG. He went on to explicate and expand upon the deepest Theological teachings of the West by identifying the FSM as the "Wholly Other" beyond all human rational conceptualizations. He said, "Human experience and intelligence are but a scratch on the surface of reality. We don't know Jack, so how can we know the FSM who is entirely beyond anything we can conceive. We make Gods in our own image and even images we call the FSM, but these are all as idols smashed in the Presence of His Glory!" The FSM is Infinite and Boundless, and therefore according to Barf's early works, not an entity as you or I but "Being" itself. But Barf eschewed this view in latter works, saying that "Being" was a human philosophical conception that nevertheless boxed up the FSM for take-out. "We can never say what the FSM is, only what the FSM is not. The FSN is not Being. The FSM is Nonbeing. Nonbeing is empty of concept." So we come our favorite question. Does the FSM exist? To exist means to stand out as an object distinctly unique from other objects. But the FSM is no object! The FSM cannot be finitely limited to one thing apart from other things. That's why Professor Barf finally admited the year of his death that to say what the FSM was not was as equally in error as saying what it was. He then burned all his books and papers and knelt before the porcelain god. Existance is a limiting concept. The FSM is that which has no limitation. Therefore the FSM does not exist! (Disclaimer if needed: the above post is satire.)
	Last edited by Apathia; 1st October 2006 at 02:16 PM.

1st October 2006, 06:36 PM	#3
Dancing David Penultimate Amazing Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Central Illinois Posts: 34,736	The Cosmic Coyote ate the FSM and the Great Burrito!
	__________________ Hell, dynamiting fish in a barrel is more challenging. - Ladewig I suspect you are a sandwich, metaphorically speaking. -Donn And a shot rang out. Now Space is doing time... -Ben Burch You built the toilet - don't complain when people crap in it. _Kid Eager

1st October 2006, 09:33 PM	#4
saizai Graduate Poster Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 1,374	Aw, cm'on. You can do better satire.
saizai Graduate Poster Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 1,374	__________________ Friendly advice: if in an argument with me, don't make tons of fallacies or you'll just embarass yourself when I call you on 'em. Kthx! See my Youtube videos for more good argument, as well as bits about my various other interests, like ASL, cogsci, neurosci, meditation, cooking, etc.

2nd October 2006, 09:23 AM	#6
HeyLeroy Vegan Cannibal Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Going off the rails on the Crazy Train. Posts: 5,565	You'll all boil for eternity in the stewy pot of Ragout for your heresies. More room at the beer volcano for me, I guess.
	__________________ Cows are in large numbers, and do not serve any other purpose, other than to eat grass, and moo -- makaya325 I ♥ my kids. I ♠ my dog. I ♣ my baby Harp Seal.

2nd October 2006, 10:13 AM	#8
I less than three logic Graduate Poster Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: St Cloud, MN, USA Posts: 1,464	I think I can feel the blood vessels in my brain tying themselves into knots whilst reading this thread.
	__________________ “There is perhaps no better demonstration of the folly of human conceits than this distant image of our tiny world.” - Carl Sagan “The fact that we live at the bottom of a deep gravity well, on the surface of a gas covered planet going around a nuclear fireball ninety million miles away and think this to be normal is obviously some indication of how skewed our perspective tends to be.” – Douglas Adams

1st October 2006, 01:58 PM	#2
Tsukasa Buddha Other (please write in) Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: NeverLand Posts: 9,925	La la la la la! Not listening! Oh FSM, smite this unbeliever!

2nd October 2006, 08:02 AM	#5
thomps1d Thinker Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Regina, SK, Canada Posts: 193	Originally Posted by Hyparxis Existance is a limiting concept. The FSM is that which has no limitation. Therefore the FSM does not exist! (Disclaimer if needed: the above post is satire.) Or (and prepare to have your mind blown so badly that you'll need to pee) does the FSM exist so much that it creates a limitation of non-possible existence, thus limiting it as a creature, and thus defining that it does, in fact, exist?

2nd October 2006, 10:08 AM	#7
Apathia Master Poster Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Tempe, AZ Posts: 2,937	Originally Posted by thomps1d Or (and prepare to have your mind blown so badly that you'll need to pee) does the FSM exist so much that it creates a limitation of non-possible existence, thus limiting it as a creature, and thus defining that it does, in fact, exist? Ah, poor Professor Barf! He'd have loved that. The FSM can't be limited by or excluded in any way, so existance cannot be denied the FSM! Transcendance is Transcended! (The Shade of St. Anselm)

2nd October 2006, 02:49 PM	#9
CapelDodger Penultimate Amazing Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Cardiff, South Wales Posts: 16,744	Originally Posted by HeyLeroy More room at the beer volcano for me, I guess. See you there. I, too, like warm beer. It's a cultural thing. Not that I won't visit the beer glaciar, or the whisky tree, from time to time. In the FSM eternity - which sooooo outstrips lesser eternities, way more than real numbers outstrip fractions - I will spend an eternity at each, in succession, with excursions (I'm rather fond of tequila, for instance) for ever.
	__________________ It's a poor sort of memory that only works backward - Lewis Carroll (1832-1898) God can make a cow out of a tree, but has He ever done so? Therefore show some reason why a thing is so, or cease to hold that it is so - William of Conches, c1150