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headscratcher4 · 19th October 2006, 01:28 PM

Spanish King Denies Shooting Drunk Bear -- from the AP

I don't know why, but this amuses me...besides, you don't really need the details, the headline says it all....

This Guy · 19th October 2006, 01:29 PM

Was he in his pajamas?

(someone out there will get this!;-)

headscratcher4 · 19th October 2006, 01:31 PM

"My name is King juan Carlos, the African explorer...."

crackers · 19th October 2006, 01:31 PM

We are rapidly approaching the point when headlines from newspapers will become indistinguishable from headlines from The Onion.

Skeptic · 19th October 2006, 01:36 PM

Originally Posted by crackers

We are rapidly approaching the point when headlines from newspapers will become indistinguishable from headlines from The Onion.

Approaching? We're way past it.

Nature published an article where a scientist discovered a new species (or genus?) of rodents when he discovered an animal about to be deep-fried by a street vendor in (I think) Laos. A few days earlier "The Onion"'s headline was "New and Delicious Species discovered".

Their 9/11 and Middle East headlines are still more accurate than anything else I've read in the "serious" papers:

1). "HOLY F**KING S**T" after 9/11
2). "Peace Process Derailed, Bursts into Flames, Covered Over with Dirt" after yet another suicide bombing.

senorpogo · 19th October 2006, 01:38 PM

Originally Posted by This Guy

Was he in his pajamas?

(someone out there will get this!;-)

circa 1930 reference received and appreciated

Tricky · 19th October 2006, 01:49 PM

Originally Posted by headscratcher4

Spanish King Denies Shooting Drunk Bear -- from the AP

I don't know why, but this amuses me...besides, you don't really need the details, the headline says it all....

Reminds me of the story of the wealthy snot who wanted to shoot a lion. Problem is, he was a terrible coward, and whenever a lion showed up he was trembling too much to shoot. So one of his wealthy friends devised a plan whereby he went to the lion's favorite watering hole, drained it and refilled it with vodka. The lion came down to drink and soon became so drunk he fell asleep, whereupon Snotty came down and shot it as it snored.

Inordinately proud of himself, he proposed a great feast where the main course would be, (what else) lion steaks. And so he invited all of his friends to come down and "dine on the sotted lion".

Luke T. · 19th October 2006, 02:48 PM

Originally Posted by headscratcher4

Spanish King Denies Shooting Drunk Bear -- from the AP

I don't know why, but this amuses me...besides, you don't really need the details, the headline says it all....

Not that this has anything to do with anything, but when my ship was getting ready to port in Spain, our port brief included a warning not to harm any trees while in Spain as they all belonged to the King.

Naval port briefs are one of the great undiscovered countries of humor.

fuelair · 19th October 2006, 03:10 PM

Originally Posted by senorpogo

circa 1930 reference received and appreciated

What he was doing in my pajamas I don't know (app.) (Some Marxist)

senorpogo · 19th October 2006, 03:17 PM

Originally Posted by fuelair

What he was doing in my pajamas I don't know (app.) (Some Marxist)

I believe that appeared in the Duck Soup Manifesto, but I may be wrong.

(God bless Turner Classic Movies for introducing me to the Marxist doctrine.

This Guy · 19th October 2006, 03:21 PM

Originally Posted by senorpogo

I believe that appeared in the Duck Soup Manifesto, but I may be wrong.

(God bless Turner Classic Movies for introducing me to the Marxist doctrine.

I forget which it was also. But I love those guys

A line I use often is "I wouldn't belong to any club that would have me as a member"

Mike B. · 19th October 2006, 03:22 PM

Originally Posted by Skeptic

Approaching? We're way past it.

Nature published an article where a scientist discovered a new species (or genus?) of rodents when he discovered an animal about to be deep-fried by a street vendor in (I think) Laos. A few days earlier "The Onion"'s headline was "New and Delicious Species discovered".

Their 9/11 and Middle East headlines are still more accurate than anything else I've read in the "serious" papers:

1). "HOLY F**KING S**T" after 9/11
2). "Peace Process Derailed, Bursts into Flames, Covered Over with Dirt" after yet another suicide bombing.

Here is one that I think may be MORE accurate than other headlines:

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/54113

NORTH KOREA DETONATES 40 YEARS OF GDP.

Tricky · 19th October 2006, 03:52 PM

Originally Posted by This Guy

A line I use often is "I wouldn't belong to any club that would have me as a member"

Woody Allen in Annie Hall.

Sadly, he never got his pet project filmed, "Honey I ********** the Kids".

TragicMonkey · 19th October 2006, 03:54 PM

Originally Posted by Tricky

Woody Allen in Annie Hall.

I thought it was Groucho Marx?

This Guy · 19th October 2006, 03:56 PM

Originally Posted by Tricky

Woody Allen in Annie Hall.

Sadly, he never got his pet project filmed, "Honey I ********** the Kids".

Maybe Woody borrowed it. But Groucho said it long before Annie Hall (been a long time since I've AH, don't remember it well enough to recall that being in there)

tkingdoll · 19th October 2006, 04:21 PM

I saw one yesterday that made me giggle:

Police Uncover Counterfeit Gang

Polaris · 19th October 2006, 04:23 PM

Here are two good ones:

Judge Orders Woman Not To Get Pregnant

Britney's Husband Booed, Body-Slammed

Source here: http://www.nbc5i.com/index.html

19th October 2006, 01:28 PM	#1
headscratcher4 Philosopher Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: USA Posts: 7,759	Favorite Headline of the day... Spanish King Denies Shooting Drunk Bear -- from the AP I don't know why, but this amuses me...besides, you don't really need the details, the headline says it all....
	__________________ Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals ... except the weasel. -- Homer Simpson

19th October 2006, 01:29 PM	#2
This Guy Master Poster Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: On the corner of WALK and DON'T WALK Posts: 2,000	Was he in his pajamas? (someone out there will get this!;-)
	__________________ I'm lost. I've gone to find me. If I should return before I get back, please ask me to wait!

19th October 2006, 01:31 PM	#3
headscratcher4 Philosopher Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: USA Posts: 7,759	"My name is King juan Carlos, the African explorer...."
	__________________ Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals ... except the weasel. -- Homer Simpson

19th October 2006, 01:31 PM	#4
crackers Muse Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 700	We are rapidly approaching the point when headlines from newspapers will become indistinguishable from headlines from The Onion.
crackers Muse Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 700

19th October 2006, 01:38 PM	#6
senorpogo Master Poster Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Houston, TX Posts: 2,094	Originally Posted by This Guy Was he in his pajamas? (someone out there will get this!;-) circa 1930 reference received and appreciated
	__________________ The distinct advantage of a goat is that it can be taught to butt anyone who tries to steal it.

19th October 2006, 01:36 PM	#5
Skeptic Banned Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Behind the chessboard Posts: 18,361	Originally Posted by crackers We are rapidly approaching the point when headlines from newspapers will become indistinguishable from headlines from The Onion. Approaching? We're way past it. Nature published an article where a scientist discovered a new species (or genus?) of rodents when he discovered an animal about to be deep-fried by a street vendor in (I think) Laos. A few days earlier "The Onion"'s headline was "New and Delicious Species discovered". Their 9/11 and Middle East headlines are still more accurate than anything else I've read in the "serious" papers: 1). "HOLY FKING ST" after 9/11 2). "Peace Process Derailed, Bursts into Flames, Covered Over with Dirt" after yet another suicide bombing.

19th October 2006, 01:49 PM	#7
Tricky Briefly immortal Moderator Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: The Group W bench Posts: 42,405	Originally Posted by headscratcher4 Spanish King Denies Shooting Drunk Bear -- from the AP I don't know why, but this amuses me...besides, you don't really need the details, the headline says it all.... Reminds me of the story of the wealthy snot who wanted to shoot a lion. Problem is, he was a terrible coward, and whenever a lion showed up he was trembling too much to shoot. So one of his wealthy friends devised a plan whereby he went to the lion's favorite watering hole, drained it and refilled it with vodka. The lion came down to drink and soon became so drunk he fell asleep, whereupon Snotty came down and shot it as it snored. Inordinately proud of himself, he proposed a great feast where the main course would be, (what else) lion steaks. And so he invited all of his friends to come down and "dine on the sotted lion". If you didn't get this, then maybe you are not a native English speaker, or perhaps just terribly inexperienced, but in America, when you are asked to put your signiture on something, they say, "Sign on the dotted line".

19th October 2006, 02:48 PM	#8
Luke T. Guest Join Date: May 2003 Posts: 14,759	Originally Posted by headscratcher4 Spanish King Denies Shooting Drunk Bear -- from the AP I don't know why, but this amuses me...besides, you don't really need the details, the headline says it all.... Not that this has anything to do with anything, but when my ship was getting ready to port in Spain, our port brief included a warning not to harm any trees while in Spain as they all belonged to the King. Naval port briefs are one of the great undiscovered countries of humor.
Luke T. Guest Join Date: May 2003 Posts: 14,759

19th October 2006, 03:10 PM	#9
fuelair Cythraul Enfys Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 29,321	Originally Posted by senorpogo circa 1930 reference received and appreciated What he was doing in my pajamas I don't know (app.) (Some Marxist)
fuelair Cythraul Enfys Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 29,321

19th October 2006, 03:17 PM	#10
senorpogo Master Poster Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Houston, TX Posts: 2,094	Originally Posted by fuelair What he was doing in my pajamas I don't know (app.) (Some Marxist) I believe that appeared in the Duck Soup Manifesto, but I may be wrong. (God bless Turner Classic Movies for introducing me to the Marxist doctrine.
	__________________ The distinct advantage of a goat is that it can be taught to butt anyone who tries to steal it.

19th October 2006, 03:21 PM	#11
This Guy Master Poster Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: On the corner of WALK and DON'T WALK Posts: 2,000	Originally Posted by senorpogo I believe that appeared in the Duck Soup Manifesto, but I may be wrong. (God bless Turner Classic Movies for introducing me to the Marxist doctrine. I forget which it was also. But I love those guys A line I use often is "I wouldn't belong to any club that would have me as a member"
	__________________ I'm lost. I've gone to find me. If I should return before I get back, please ask me to wait!

19th October 2006, 03:22 PM	#12
Mike B. Graduate Poster Join Date: Aug 2001 Posts: 1,186	Originally Posted by Skeptic Approaching? We're way past it. Nature published an article where a scientist discovered a new species (or genus?) of rodents when he discovered an animal about to be deep-fried by a street vendor in (I think) Laos. A few days earlier "The Onion"'s headline was "New and Delicious Species discovered". Their 9/11 and Middle East headlines are still more accurate than anything else I've read in the "serious" papers: 1). "HOLY FKING ST" after 9/11 2). "Peace Process Derailed, Bursts into Flames, Covered Over with Dirt" after yet another suicide bombing. Here is one that I think may be MORE accurate than other headlines: http://www.theonion.com/content/node/54113 NORTH KOREA DETONATES 40 YEARS OF GDP.
Mike B. Graduate Poster Join Date: Aug 2001 Posts: 1,186

19th October 2006, 03:52 PM	#13
Tricky Briefly immortal Moderator Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: The Group W bench Posts: 42,405	Originally Posted by This Guy A line I use often is "I wouldn't belong to any club that would have me as a member" Woody Allen in Annie Hall. Sadly, he never got his pet project filmed, "Honey I ********* the Kids*".

19th October 2006, 03:54 PM	#14
TragicMonkey Poisoned Waffles Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Monkey Posts: 30,298	Originally Posted by Tricky Woody Allen in Annie Hall. I thought it was Groucho Marx?
	__________________ One cannot expect wisdom to flow from a pumpkin.

19th October 2006, 03:56 PM	#15
This Guy Master Poster Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: On the corner of WALK and DON'T WALK Posts: 2,000	Originally Posted by Tricky Woody Allen in Annie Hall. Sadly, he never got his pet project filmed, "Honey I ********* the Kids*". Maybe Woody borrowed it. But Groucho said it long before Annie Hall (been a long time since I've AH, don't remember it well enough to recall that being in there)
	__________________ I'm lost. I've gone to find me. If I should return before I get back, please ask me to wait!

19th October 2006, 04:21 PM	#16
tkingdoll AKA TEEK Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Up Myself Posts: 12,471	I saw one yesterday that made me giggle: Police Uncover Counterfeit Gang
	__________________ www.stormmovie.net Official website of Tim Minchin's Storm Movie

19th October 2006, 04:23 PM	#17
Polaris Philosopher Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 5,229	Here are two good ones: Judge Orders Woman Not To Get Pregnant Britney's Husband Booed, Body-Slammed Source here: http://www.nbc5i.com/index.html
Polaris Philosopher Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 5,229	__________________ "There's vastly more truth to be found in rocks than in holy books. Rocks are far superior, in fact, because you can DEMONSTRATE the truth found in rocks. Plus, they're pretty. Holy books are just heavy." - Dinwar "Roy Moore of Alabama. The world would absolutely benefit by him being run over by any vehicle." - Lowpro