A psychic reading of The Runes, for you alone

[alfaniner]

I have a set of psychic reading tools called The Runes, and here is a reading I have done just for you, and you alone.

This is the "simple cross" format of a rune reading, selecting five runes at random from the group of twenty-five. They are read in order of being drawn, the first three from left to right across the center, the fourth on the top, and the fifth on the bottom. Position one represents the past, position two the present, position three the result. Number four indicates what help will be available, and the last symbolizes any obstacles.

First, you must frame a Question clearly in your mind, something about which you have a concern. When you are ready, open up the Spoiler box and get your reading.

Now on to the reading...

Position one indicates the Past, what has led to the current situation. This symbol is the Ansur -- the rune of Communication. It appears here in the "reversed" configuration (upside-down), which indicates that advice you may have received in the past may not have been in your best interest.

Position two refers to the Present. This is the Eolh -- the symbol of Protection. In its normal orientation, it suggests powerful shielding from deceit. Reversed, it suggests imminent deception. However, here it is in a neutral configuration (on its side), so while it is a very powerful rune, neither shielding nor exposure is indicated, so it is advisable to increase your awareness for now.

Number three is Result. This is Sigel -- the Sun. This is a very positive rune. Its appearance in a reading indicates life and vitality. While not quite in its normal orientation, it is biased in that direction, so while things as present are going pretty well, there are some things that could be better. So, regarding your Question, overall the situation looks to be very good, although not the very best it could possibly be.

Position four represents what Help is available. This fourth rune is the Is -- or Ice. It is a cold rune, and suggests that any Help is frozen, or on hold for the moment. Be patient until the situation changes.

The fifth and final position describes the Obstacles. This last rune is the Geofu - the Gift. This rune appearing as an Obstacle indicates that while a positive thing may seem to come to you easy, it may in fact hinder your progress and should be regarded with caution. This is especially true when regarding personal relationships.

Conclusion: The main themes of this reading are caution and patience. It may be best not to make any major decisions in this area until you feel the situation has changed.

How'd I do? OK, so it's not the best (cold) reading, but this is the first time I tried it and I just basically copied the descriptions from the book.

And no, I don't believe in this crap, either...

[The Great Hairy One]

It's basically the same as a horoscope - so incredibly generic that it would fit absolutely anyone.

Cheers,
TGHO

[Big Al]

BAH! I didn't see the words "quantum", "vibrations", "chakra" or "Akashic Record" anywhere!

You, sir, are a fraud and a charlatan!




...other than that, I thought it as valuable and enlightening as any other horoscope I've read, so I'll let you off.

[ChristineR]

Chakra jokes aside, it's good to throw in various dramatic and personal details.

Example: It is advisable to increase your awareness now...some sort of malevolence is aware of you, but not planning to touch you at this time.

"Demon" or "hostile spirit" or "dark entity" or "soul on a negative path" are all good substitutes for "malevolence." I don't know what the standard is for runes, but the very fact that your target chose runes (as opposed to the I Ching or tarot) tells you something about their mystical beliefs.

[alfaniner]

Originally Posted by The Great Hairy One

It's basically the same as a horoscope - so incredibly generic that it would fit absolutely anyone.

Cheers,
TGHO

Well... that was kind of the point.

[Starthinker]

The hard part is writing 99 more that are equally generic but believable so you can rotate them out on a schedule.

[Goshawk]

I framed the question clearly in my mind, something about which I had a concern--"Will my friend die of her breast cancer?"--but the runic responses counseling patience and caution seem to be the equivalent of the Magic 8-Ball's "Ask Again Later".

[Ysidro]

Wow, you're spot on! She really will never sleep with me! The ice rune proved it to me.

[Fnord]

I spotted the lack of sincerity in your post right off the top.

1) Your spelling, grammar, and punctuation were up to high-school standards, at least.

2) You used the correct form of "your/you're," as well as "their/there/"they're."

3) You did not try to make a personal connection with anyone, but went almost straight into the procedural stuff, and then the reading.

4) You did not ask me for my real name, date of birth, gender, favorite color, or general state of health.

5) You did not mis-use capital letters, nor did you resort to bold, italicized, underlined, or colored letters.

6) You did not charge for the reading.

Yeah, I knew it was a fake reading all along!