Metaphysical powers of gemstones

Frank Newgent · 22nd August 2003, 06:48 PM

The following is an intimate journey into the subtle realms of crystal energy, addressing the metaphysical properties and attributes of various precious and semi-precious stones. Additions to this partial list are welcomed.

AMETHYST - disinhibits the non-simultaneous facilitated oxygenation of the neocortex and genitals

AMBER - invokes Saint Dymphna, protector of the eastbound passing lane of Interstate 10

AZURITE - otherwise occupied while the persuasive unity of traditional esoteric theory unavoidably anticipates a sizeable meteorite about to strike

BERYL - guess who's ahead in the Terrorism Information Awareness Jesuit Mafia versus the Merovingian Illuminoids' of Solomon's Temple final megastruggle to control reality

BORAX - replaces the normal flow of identity with the expression of pseudo-narratives often considered hilarious

CALCITE - represents that part of divinity genuinely disinterested in you

CELESTITE - plots flawlessly to conceal what is actually happening in so much as what would illuminate that is abundantly neglected

CITRINE - hey, it cured the Dali Lama's herpes, didn't it?

CHRYSOCOLLA - the urine-stained mystic in the hierarchy of relative crystal energies

CORUNDUM - praises ability to square your perception of the world with what is actually happening and therefore act with certainty as distinguished from the rest of this month's Direct TV broadcast schedule

DIAMOND - must be important as you are now under police surveillance

FLUORITE - compensates for slow shifting of the celestial equator relative to the celestial sphere due to gravitational influence of floating space debris such the sun and moon

EdipisReks · 22nd August 2003, 07:03 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Frank Newgent
The following is an intimate journey into the subtle realms of crystal energy, addressing the metaphysical properties and attributes of various precious and semi-precious stones. Additions to this partial list are welcomed.

AMETHYST - disinhibits the non-simultaneous facilitated oxygenation of the neocortex and genitals

AMBER - invokes Saint Dymphna, protector of the eastbound passing lane of Interstate 10

AZURITE - otherwise occupied while the persuasive unity of traditional esoteric theory unavoidably anticipates a sizeable meteorite about to strike

BERYL - guess who's ahead in the Terrorism Information Awareness Jesuit Mafia versus the Merovingian Illuminoids' of Solomon's Temple final megastruggle to control reality

BORAX - replaces the normal flow of identity with the expression of pseudo-narratives often considered hilarious

CALCITE - represents that part of divinity genuinely disinterested in you

CELESTITE - plots flawlessly to conceal what is actually happening in so much as what would illuminate that is abundantly neglected

CITRINE - hey, it cured the Dali Lama's herpes, didn't it?

CHRYSOCOLLA - the urine-stained mystic in the hierarchy of relative crystal energies

CORUNDUM - praises ability to square your perception of the world with what is actually happening and therefore act with certainty as distinguished from the rest of this month's Direct TV broadcast schedule

DIAMOND - must be important as you are now under police surveillance

FLUORITE - compensates for slow shifting of the celestial equator relative to the celestial sphere due to gravitational influence of floating space debris such the sun and moon

borax kills roaches, is that metaphysical?

Aoidoi · 22nd August 2003, 07:55 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by EdipisReks

borax kills roaches, is that metaphysical?

For the roaches it is.

Frank Newgent · 22nd August 2003, 08:21 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by EdipisReks

borax kills roaches, is that metaphysical?

Read the list: I've got borax covered. Maybe you missed the Ronald Reagan reference.

Though I have read that UFO sightings sometimes occur near borax mines. Did the screenwriters for Men in Black have it all wrong?

PinkRabbit · 22nd August 2003, 08:43 PM

Hmmm, given my fondness for azurite, if one day I disappear for all eternity (and anyone actually notices) apparently I will have been splatted by a meteorite.

Who knew?

Barb

Frank Newgent · 22nd August 2003, 09:03 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by PinkRabbit

Who knew?

The persuasive unity of traditional esoteric theory, that's who. Speaking of which, have you ever noticed how much that resembles the coercive singularity of Conspiracy Theory?

Frank Newgent · 23rd August 2003, 11:18 AM

GOLD - a yellow metallic element whose mathematical formalisms "predict(ing) the coherent emission of y[1/2x+c] paradox following disregard of the recursion-theoretic reducibility ordering of deja vu not forfeited under Morthole's Conjecture" were first noted on a xeroxed rant found stapled to a telephone pole in Sheboygan, Wisconsin

HEMATITE - shoots down Hitler's flying saucers

Yahzi · 23rd August 2003, 11:53 AM

ALUMINUM - when formed into a long tubular construct, damps all psychic vibrations and magnifies skeptical rays to fatal proportions

arcticpenguin · 23rd August 2003, 01:07 PM

I've got a book at home that lists magical uses for various crystals and stones. I'll try to remember to bring it in some time (I post at work).

I bought it at a used book store in Huntsville, Alabama.

Soapy Sam · 23rd August 2003, 02:57 PM

Barb- Azurite is pretty, but wash your hands after handling it.

Frank Newgent · 23rd August 2003, 04:12 PM

I am a pebble pimp.

Being involved in wholesale and retail trade of lapidary, mineral specimens and whatnot, I'm often asked what a particular something "is good for". In the hope that whatever I might say does not act as a substitute for proper medical attention it seems only appropriate to become as confusing as possible.

I started my own list of "metaphysical" powers and attributes years ago and make a point of taping one to the wall in the bathroom of every venue I'm in. It makes me laugh.

Yahweh · 23rd August 2003, 08:33 PM

Platinum - Way better than gold or silver, mysteriously causes wearers to spout nonsensicle words (aka "rap") while ending many of their words with the suffix "izzle". For shizzle.

Frank Newgent · 24th August 2003, 08:21 AM

IOLITE - a thousand-faced jewel reflecting perfectly that black velvet portrait of Wayne Newton being crucified

JADE - unsuitable as an ornamental gemstone when shouting down the Gnostic dwarves of quandry and dilemma from a cardboard box under the freeway

Frank Newgent · 26th August 2003, 06:29 AM

LABRADORITE - more elaborate than a neurosyphilitic pope's Vision of Unity

LAPIS LAZULI - empowers coincidence to inform you of what's happening in more reasonable parts of the universe

LEPIDOLITE - fluoresces under cryto-brainwave sequence from the invisible orbiting satellites

MALACHITE - over fuzzy red flannel and vertical stripes, this first source of chronic unemployment might sport a lunchboard sign: "I am not drunk. I suffer from an unkind frontal lobe pathology. Give me some focking money!"

MERCURY - state mineral of Delirium

arcticpenguin · 26th August 2003, 09:49 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by arcticpenguin
I've got a book at home that lists magical uses for various crystals and stones. I'll try to remember to bring it in some time (I post at work).

I bought it at a used book store in Huntsville, Alabama.

I brought it in.

The magic and science of jewels ans stones, vol. II by Isidore Kozminsky
Foreword by Gurudas

On the back cover:

Quote:

First written in 1922, this book provides a comprehensive format on the folklore of gemstones. Quartz crystals, tourmaline, pearl, and lapis lazuli are just some of the many gemstones examined in this book. Over 100 different crystals and gemstones are examined. How individual gemstones have long been used in Europe, Asia and the Middle East provides a constant theme throughout the book.

Topics reviewed include:
Astrology and gemstones
Gemstones in Shakespeare's plays
Gemstones in heraldry
Gemstones associated with different countries

Keneke · 26th August 2003, 01:51 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by arcticpenguin
I've got a book at home that lists magical uses for various crystals and stones. I'll try to remember to bring it in some time (I post at work).

I bought it at a used book store in Huntsville, Alabama.

Booklegger, perhaps? That's the only one here I can think of.

Frank Newgent · 28th August 2003, 10:16 AM

OBSIDIAN - a highly regarded black pebble visually indistinguishable from that kidney stone you finally passed last Thursday

OPAL - possesses an electron configuration astonishing to other silicon oxides

PERIDOT - distracts the poor and hopelessly doomed into somehow believing their existence adds up to more than a demerit on Gerald Ford's aether in the Akashic Records

PYRITE - enables one to act out feelings too small to be supported by drug addiction

arcticpenguin · 28th August 2003, 10:44 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Keneke

Booklegger, perhaps? That's the only one here I can think of.

I don't remember, but it's right around the corner from Beauregard's.

Frank Newgent · 25th September 2003, 02:19 PM

RHODONITE - responsible for that "I Love Syria" bumper sticker found by customs on your bag at the airport

RHODOCHROSITE - makes visible the concealed dead tormented by your unexamined psyche

RUBY - deconstructs Peoria quicker than a suction-cup Garfield in the Manson family station wagon

22nd August 2003, 06:48 PM	#1
Frank Newgent Illuminator Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 4,681	Metaphysical powers of gemstones The following is an intimate journey into the subtle realms of crystal energy, addressing the metaphysical properties and attributes of various precious and semi-precious stones. Additions to this partial list are welcomed. AMETHYST - disinhibits the non-simultaneous facilitated oxygenation of the neocortex and genitals AMBER - invokes Saint Dymphna, protector of the eastbound passing lane of Interstate 10 AZURITE - otherwise occupied while the persuasive unity of traditional esoteric theory unavoidably anticipates a sizeable meteorite about to strike BERYL - guess who's ahead in the Terrorism Information Awareness Jesuit Mafia versus the Merovingian Illuminoids' of Solomon's Temple final megastruggle to control reality BORAX - replaces the normal flow of identity with the expression of pseudo-narratives often considered hilarious CALCITE - represents that part of divinity genuinely disinterested in you CELESTITE - plots flawlessly to conceal what is actually happening in so much as what would illuminate that is abundantly neglected CITRINE - hey, it cured the Dali Lama's herpes, didn't it? CHRYSOCOLLA - the urine-stained mystic in the hierarchy of relative crystal energies CORUNDUM - praises ability to square your perception of the world with what is actually happening and therefore act with certainty as distinguished from the rest of this month's Direct TV broadcast schedule DIAMOND - must be important as you are now under police surveillance FLUORITE - compensates for slow shifting of the celestial equator relative to the celestial sphere due to gravitational influence of floating space debris such the sun and moon
	__________________ Disturbances of the semantic reactions in connection with faulty education and ignorance must be considered as sub-microscopic colloidal lesions - Alfred O. Korzybski

22nd August 2003, 07:03 PM	#2
EdipisReks Custom Title Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: The 'Nati Posts: 1,952	Re: Metaphysical powers of gemstones Quote: Originally posted by Frank Newgent The following is an intimate journey into the subtle realms of crystal energy, addressing the metaphysical properties and attributes of various precious and semi-precious stones. Additions to this partial list are welcomed. AMETHYST - disinhibits the non-simultaneous facilitated oxygenation of the neocortex and genitals AMBER - invokes Saint Dymphna, protector of the eastbound passing lane of Interstate 10 AZURITE - otherwise occupied while the persuasive unity of traditional esoteric theory unavoidably anticipates a sizeable meteorite about to strike BERYL - guess who's ahead in the Terrorism Information Awareness Jesuit Mafia versus the Merovingian Illuminoids' of Solomon's Temple final megastruggle to control reality BORAX - replaces the normal flow of identity with the expression of pseudo-narratives often considered hilarious CALCITE - represents that part of divinity genuinely disinterested in you CELESTITE - plots flawlessly to conceal what is actually happening in so much as what would illuminate that is abundantly neglected CITRINE - hey, it cured the Dali Lama's herpes, didn't it? CHRYSOCOLLA - the urine-stained mystic in the hierarchy of relative crystal energies CORUNDUM - praises ability to square your perception of the world with what is actually happening and therefore act with certainty as distinguished from the rest of this month's Direct TV broadcast schedule DIAMOND - must be important as you are now under police surveillance FLUORITE - compensates for slow shifting of the celestial equator relative to the celestial sphere due to gravitational influence of floating space debris such the sun and moon borax kills roaches, is that metaphysical?
	__________________ "Candy to rot your teeth. Bible to rot your brain." --EvilDave (7-24-2003) "I read the Book Of Mormon once. Wasn't it about Uma Thurman, um, thrumming a Theremin?" --epepke (9-22-2004)

22nd August 2003, 07:55 PM	#3
Aoidoi Illuminator Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 4,418	Re: Re: Metaphysical powers of gemstones Quote: Originally posted by EdipisReks borax kills roaches, is that metaphysical? For the roaches it is.
Aoidoi Illuminator Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 4,418	__________________ "The priests used to say that faith can move mountains, and nobody believed them. Today the scientists say that they can level mountains, and nobody doubts them." - Joseph Campbell We cannot defend freedom abroad by abandoning it at home. —Edward R. Murrow

22nd August 2003, 08:21 PM	#4
Frank Newgent Illuminator Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 4,681	Re: Re: Metaphysical powers of gemstones Quote: Originally posted by EdipisReks borax kills roaches, is that metaphysical? Read the list: I've got borax covered. Maybe you missed the Ronald Reagan reference. Though I have read that UFO sightings sometimes occur near borax mines. Did the screenwriters for Men in Black have it all wrong?
	__________________ Disturbances of the semantic reactions in connection with faulty education and ignorance must be considered as sub-microscopic colloidal lesions - Alfred O. Korzybski

22nd August 2003, 09:03 PM	#6
Frank Newgent Illuminator Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 4,681	Quote: Originally posted by PinkRabbit Who knew? The persuasive unity of traditional esoteric theory, that's who. Speaking of which, have you ever noticed how much that resembles the coercive singularity of Conspiracy Theory?
	__________________ Disturbances of the semantic reactions in connection with faulty education and ignorance must be considered as sub-microscopic colloidal lesions - Alfred O. Korzybski

22nd August 2003, 08:43 PM	#5
PinkRabbit Critical Thinker Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 329	Hmmm, given my fondness for azurite, if one day I disappear for all eternity (and anyone actually notices) apparently I will have been splatted by a meteorite. Who knew? Barb

23rd August 2003, 11:18 AM	#7
Frank Newgent Illuminator Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 4,681	GOLD - a yellow metallic element whose mathematical formalisms "predict(ing) the coherent emission of y[1/2x+c] paradox following disregard of the recursion-theoretic reducibility ordering of deja vu not forfeited under Morthole's Conjecture" were first noted on a xeroxed rant found stapled to a telephone pole in Sheboygan, Wisconsin HEMATITE - shoots down Hitler's flying saucers
	__________________ Disturbances of the semantic reactions in connection with faulty education and ignorance must be considered as sub-microscopic colloidal lesions - Alfred O. Korzybski

23rd August 2003, 11:53 AM	#8
Yahzi Master Poster Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: AZ Posts: 2,672	ALUMINUM - when formed into a long tubular construct, damps all psychic vibrations and magnifies skeptical rays to fatal proportions
	__________________ ID lives in a cardboard refrigerator box and throws rocks through the windows of evolution's unfinished mansion. ---Beleth Buy my book! www.WorldOfPrime.com

23rd August 2003, 01:07 PM	#9
arcticpenguin woo ban clan Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 5,717	I've got a book at home that lists magical uses for various crystals and stones. I'll try to remember to bring it in some time (I post at work). I bought it at a used book store in Huntsville, Alabama.
	__________________ The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it. - George Bernard Shaw

23rd August 2003, 02:57 PM	#10
Soapy Sam NLH Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 25,885	Barb- Azurite is pretty, but wash your hands after handling it.
Soapy Sam NLH Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 25,885

23rd August 2003, 04:12 PM	#11
Frank Newgent Illuminator Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 4,681	I am a pebble pimp. Being involved in wholesale and retail trade of lapidary, mineral specimens and whatnot, I'm often asked what a particular something "is good for". In the hope that whatever I might say does not act as a substitute for proper medical attention it seems only appropriate to become as confusing as possible. I started my own list of "metaphysical" powers and attributes years ago and make a point of taping one to the wall in the bathroom of every venue I'm in. It makes me laugh.
	__________________ Disturbances of the semantic reactions in connection with faulty education and ignorance must be considered as sub-microscopic colloidal lesions - Alfred O. Korzybski

23rd August 2003, 08:33 PM	#12
Yahweh Ayay ashay ayay Join Date: Apr 2003 Posts: 9,029	Platinum - Way better than gold or silver, mysteriously causes wearers to spout nonsensicle words (aka "rap") while ending many of their words with the suffix "izzle". For shizzle.
Yahweh Ayay ashay ayay Join Date: Apr 2003 Posts: 9,029

24th August 2003, 08:21 AM	#13
Frank Newgent Illuminator Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 4,681	IOLITE - a thousand-faced jewel reflecting perfectly that black velvet portrait of Wayne Newton being crucified JADE - unsuitable as an ornamental gemstone when shouting down the Gnostic dwarves of quandry and dilemma from a cardboard box under the freeway
	__________________ Disturbances of the semantic reactions in connection with faulty education and ignorance must be considered as sub-microscopic colloidal lesions - Alfred O. Korzybski

26th August 2003, 06:29 AM	#14
Frank Newgent Illuminator Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 4,681	LABRADORITE - more elaborate than a neurosyphilitic pope's Vision of Unity LAPIS LAZULI - empowers coincidence to inform you of what's happening in more reasonable parts of the universe LEPIDOLITE - fluoresces under cryto-brainwave sequence from the invisible orbiting satellites MALACHITE - over fuzzy red flannel and vertical stripes, this first source of chronic unemployment might sport a lunchboard sign: "I am not drunk. I suffer from an unkind frontal lobe pathology. Give me some focking money!" MERCURY - state mineral of Delirium
	__________________ Disturbances of the semantic reactions in connection with faulty education and ignorance must be considered as sub-microscopic colloidal lesions - Alfred O. Korzybski

26th August 2003, 09:49 AM	#15
arcticpenguin woo ban clan Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 5,717	Quote: Originally posted by arcticpenguin I've got a book at home that lists magical uses for various crystals and stones. I'll try to remember to bring it in some time (I post at work). I bought it at a used book store in Huntsville, Alabama. I brought it in. The magic and science of jewels ans stones, vol. II by Isidore Kozminsky Foreword by Gurudas On the back cover: Quote: First written in 1922, this book provides a comprehensive format on the folklore of gemstones. Quartz crystals, tourmaline, pearl, and lapis lazuli are just some of the many gemstones examined in this book. Over 100 different crystals and gemstones are examined. How individual gemstones have long been used in Europe, Asia and the Middle East provides a constant theme throughout the book. Topics reviewed include: Astrology and gemstones Gemstones in Shakespeare's plays Gemstones in heraldry Gemstones associated with different countries
	__________________ The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it. - George Bernard Shaw

26th August 2003, 01:51 PM	#16
Keneke Muse Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 980	Quote: Originally posted by arcticpenguin I've got a book at home that lists magical uses for various crystals and stones. I'll try to remember to bring it in some time (I post at work). I bought it at a used book store in Huntsville, Alabama. Booklegger, perhaps? That's the only one here I can think of.
Keneke Muse Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 980

28th August 2003, 10:16 AM	#17
Frank Newgent Illuminator Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 4,681	OBSIDIAN - a highly regarded black pebble visually indistinguishable from that kidney stone you finally passed last Thursday OPAL - possesses an electron configuration astonishing to other silicon oxides PERIDOT - distracts the poor and hopelessly doomed into somehow believing their existence adds up to more than a demerit on Gerald Ford's aether in the Akashic Records PYRITE - enables one to act out feelings too small to be supported by drug addiction
	__________________ Disturbances of the semantic reactions in connection with faulty education and ignorance must be considered as sub-microscopic colloidal lesions - Alfred O. Korzybski

28th August 2003, 10:44 AM	#18
arcticpenguin woo ban clan Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 5,717	Quote: Originally posted by Keneke Booklegger, perhaps? That's the only one here I can think of. I don't remember, but it's right around the corner from Beauregard's.
	__________________ The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it. - George Bernard Shaw

25th September 2003, 02:19 PM	#19
Frank Newgent Illuminator Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 4,681	RHODONITE - responsible for that "I Love Syria" bumper sticker found by customs on your bag at the airport RHODOCHROSITE - makes visible the concealed dead tormented by your unexamined psyche RUBY - deconstructs Peoria quicker than a suction-cup Garfield in the Manson family station wagon
	__________________ Disturbances of the semantic reactions in connection with faulty education and ignorance must be considered as sub-microscopic colloidal lesions - Alfred O. Korzybski