What past mystery would you solve?

Spindrift · 10th October 2007, 11:46 AM

This is an offshoot of the what past civilization thread.

Assumptions: You're the ultimate fly on the wall. You can go back in time as an observer to any place, anytime. You can't be seen or heard and will not affect anything. You can understand all spoken and written languages.

What past mystery would you like to go back and resolve (at least for yourself) once and for all? Examples: How they really built Stonehenge/Pyramids. What really happened to Amelia Earhart. etc.

Personally, I'd like to go back and see if there was really a Jesus and did he really do all those cool things.

Tanja · 10th October 2007, 12:40 PM

Oooh, I would try to find out whether Richard the III really killed the princes in the tower...

Marquis de Carabas · 10th October 2007, 01:43 PM

I'd want to find out what Fermat's "truly remarkable proof" was.

Fengirl · 10th October 2007, 01:50 PM

I'd like to know who put the bomp in the bomp-a-bomp-a-bomp....

tkingdoll · 10th October 2007, 02:05 PM

I'm into Erdnase at present for various reasons. So, that.

Brown · 10th October 2007, 03:49 PM

I've thought about this a great deal. I've even considered writing a science fiction story in which history "miners" resolve numerous historical disputes, often finding evidence in the present day that was overlooked. I still think about this story idea from time to time, but it always seems to adopt similarities to part of Clarke's "Childhood's End," so I have given up trying to write it.

Nevertheless, in thinking about this story, I thought that Jesus would be one of the most interesting historical figures to investigate.

In the basic story, before the "miners" could "mine history" to solve ancient unsolved questions, they had to solve recent mysteries first. (Example: the "miners" found that OJ Simpson was guilty as sin, and were even able to trace his bloody clothes to a landfill, after which forensic testing proved their authenticity and their incriminating character.)

Eventually the "miners" decide to inquire into the person of Jesus Christ. (The miners have already observed an earlier event, the assassination of Julius Caesar in Rome in 44 BCE, so they are satisfied that they ought to be able to find Jesus.) They decide that the crucifixion is the event that would be easiest to home in on in terms of both date and place (they wouldn't know the exact year, but they could check all crucifixions near Jerusalem around Passover for a range of years). Once they found Jesus on the cross, and identified him by name and nature of crime (which all four gospels say was posted on the cross in one form or another), they would be able to trace Jesus forward and backward in time, and observe everything he did. There's just one small problem: they can't find him. Or at least, they can't find anyone who is a very close match to what the gospels say.

So what do they do? Do they give up? Do they investigate some of the poor condemned bastards who share some of Jesus's traits (such as being executed for sedition) but not others (such as a lack of scourging, or a missing crown of thorns, or an absence of thieves crucified on either side, or a failure to be stabbed by a spear, or ....)? Do they expand their search to include summertime crucifixions? What?

rtalman · 10th October 2007, 04:16 PM

I would want to see what was around before the Big Bang.

Babylon Sister · 10th October 2007, 04:23 PM

I've also thought long and hard about this idea. I often imagine I have an invisible time bubble that I can use to go to the past. As an archeologist, I can think of so many things I'd like to see or see resolved: like the first migrations into the Americas and the thereby the answer to the "Clovis first" question; is handedness a factor in stone tool manufacture and use; how do our interpretations of a site (any site) compare to what really happened there; what kind of information are we missing because we don't (yet) know to look for it?

But what I really want to know is: what the hell was on that lost 18 minutes of tape?!

sinclairmcevoy · 10th October 2007, 04:30 PM

I'd like to be around to witness the beginning of life. However it happened, knowing with surety would be nice.

TheDoLittle · 10th October 2007, 04:31 PM

I'd go back to 3 months ago... when my wife was late bringing me lunch. She said she had car trouble. She also walked in with a new purse and no change from the money I gave to her to buy lunch. I just want to see if she really had car trouble.

Mobyseven · 10th October 2007, 05:34 PM

Seeing as everyone else is going to answer the big, deep and important questions, I'm going to come from left field and say that I'd like to know who Jack the Ripper really was. And if I have time, the Zodiac killer.

HistoryGal · 10th October 2007, 10:53 PM

Originally Posted by Tanja

Oooh, I would try to find out whether Richard the III really killed the princes in the tower...

Me, too, although I suspect the actual culprit was Henry Stafford, Duke of Buckingham.

And, uh, yes, I do happen to have a portrait of Richard III hanging in my living room. Wanna make something of it?

HG

bigred · 11th October 2007, 12:20 AM

Originally Posted by Mobyseven

Seeing as everyone else is going to answer the big, deep and important questions, I'm going to come from left field and say that I'd like to know who Jack the Ripper really was.

I'm amazed it took that long for someone to say this.

I'd have to go w/Jesus. Pre "Big Bang" is next.......everything else a distant 3d and so many to choose from.......

JoeEllison · 11th October 2007, 12:25 AM

I'm still curious... where, exactly, is the beef?

kmortis · 11th October 2007, 05:00 AM

Originally Posted by Babylon Sister

But what I really want to know is: what the hell was on that lost 18 minutes of tape?!

Oh that's an easy one. Arlo Guthry discovered that. To paraphrase, he got invited to Carter's inauguration and met Chip Carter who told Arlo that while Nixon was moving out, the Carter people discovered that Tricky Dick had a copy of "Alice's Restaurant" in his collection. In Arlo's own words....

Quote:

How many OTHER things to you know of that are exactly 18:20 long?

Spindrift · 11th October 2007, 05:59 AM

On a personal quest, I'd really like to go back and find out if Lisa really did like me in high school. A friend of hers told me this, at our 25th reunion, but I'm not quite sure I believe her. By that time Lisa had moved across the country, married, four kids and I hadn't seen her in many years so I wasn't about to call her up and ask like some stalker. I'd still like to know for sure and be able to point at my yearbook and say "That babe had the hots for me."

JoeEllison · 11th October 2007, 07:07 AM

Originally Posted by Spindrift

On a personal quest, I'd really like to go back and find out if Lisa really did like me in high school. A friend of hers told me this, at our 25th reunion, but I'm not quite sure I believe her. By that time Lisa had moved across the country, married, four kids and I hadn't seen her in many years so I wasn't about to call her up and ask like some stalker. I'd still like to know for sure and be able to point at my yearbook and say "That babe had the hots for me."

Dude... she did. Trust me.

AgeGap · 11th October 2007, 07:59 AM

I would like to see who shot JFK but I don't think it would be safe with all them bullets flying in every direction. How about seeing who planted the thermite or Armstrong, Collins and Aldrin at the Hanger 18 soundstage. I would follow Bigfoot after she was filmed as this could lead me to Atlantis. If I only had one opportunity it would be to use the time machine to locate Blackbeards treasure, arr.

Damien Evans · 11th October 2007, 08:11 AM

I'd like to know who Jack The Ripper really was

Erin · 11th October 2007, 09:32 AM

I would love for them to solve the mystery of the brain and the psyche.

HawaiiBigSis · 11th October 2007, 09:47 AM

I'd like to know what really happened to Ambrose Bierce or Judge Crater, or any of the myriad other "He walked across the street and disappeared, never to be seen again" people.

TheDoLittle · 11th October 2007, 04:38 PM

Originally Posted by Erin

I would love for them to solve the mystery of the brain and the psyche.

Oh, that's easy....

goodman02_PinkyBrain-01.jpg

ConspiRaider · 11th October 2007, 04:50 PM

I'd like to witness the single, all-clarifying, traumatic and psyche-warping incident in her childhood that caused Snow White to shun polite society and live in a cave with seven midgets. (You know how to whistle, don't you? You just put your lips together and blow.)

ChristineR · 11th October 2007, 04:59 PM

Originally Posted by Mobyseven

Seeing as everyone else is going to answer the big, deep and important questions, I'm going to come from left field and say that I'd like to know who Jack the Ripper really was. And if I have time, the Zodiac killer.

Aron Kominski. Well, maybe it would be nice to know for sure, but this one is actually fairly solid.

The most interesting thing about old Jack is that he was the first modern serial killer, the first guy who lived in a city with a large enough supply of alcoholic prostitutes that he was able to get off the train and kill someone and get back to the station without being noticed. The man himself will never match the social phenomenon, which is pretty well documented as it is...

Andronicus · 11th October 2007, 07:15 PM

In no particular order, and trying not to be duplicative of the above:

1) Roanoke, especially "Croatoan"? Was the lost colony really adopted or enslaved by natives?

2) Who (on which side) fired the "shot heard 'round the world"?

3) What caused the extinction of the dinosaurs? (Meteor? Smoking?)

4) What was Stonehenge’s purpose? (Calendar?)

5) What caused the War of Troy? What stopped it?

6) Personal curiosity as to the attractiveness, social grace, and charisma of the various beauties of history and legend? Helen of Troy? Cleopatra (VII)? Aspasia of Miletus? Many others.

7) Shakespeare’s love life? Perhaps the only historical person’s private life I would truly be interested in knowing.

PS – Wouldn’t our time bubble be destroyed as it approached the big bang singularity? Was there a “time” before the big bang to go back to?

HawaiiBigSis · 11th October 2007, 07:30 PM

Originally Posted by Andronicus

1) Roanoke, especially "Croatoan"? Was the lost colony really adopted or enslaved by natives?

3) What caused the extinction of the dinosaurs? (Meteor? Smoking?)

5) What caused the War of Troy? What stopped it?

7) Shakespeare’s love life? Perhaps the only historical person’s private life I would truly be interested in knowing.

Yeah, and especially those too...

Piscivore · 11th October 2007, 07:31 PM

Who plugged up the toilet that flooded Atlantis.

I'm betting it was Frank.

Tressa · 11th October 2007, 07:36 PM

Who was Jack the Ripper was my first thought too. Stonehenge was next.

Scott Haley · 11th October 2007, 07:41 PM

I'd love to see a living tyrannosaurus rex, what they really looked like, how they hunted. I'd also love to watch some Neanderthals, find out if they spoke, and what that sounded like, how they dressed (if they dressed), and how they hunted.

bokonon · 11th October 2007, 07:58 PM

I'd want to find out how Jefferson broke his wrist, what caused his falling out with Maria Cosway, and what sort of relationship he had with Sally Hemings. You know, the important stuff...

timhau · 11th October 2007, 08:23 PM

Originally Posted by Mobyseven

Seeing as everyone else is going to answer the big, deep and important questions, I'm going to come from left field and say that I'd like to know who Jack the Ripper really was.

That was my first idea as well. My guess is that we'd be totally underwhelmed to find that instead of some famous or otherwise larger-than-life figure, it's some deranged no-name loser.

JEROME DA GNOME · 11th October 2007, 08:30 PM

Was there a world wide cataclysmic event that destroyed most of humanity?

Wildy · 11th October 2007, 08:32 PM

All those seem to be well and good but I would find out these:

Who took, and what happened to, the Beaumont Children.

Who took, and what happened to, Joanne Ratcliffe and Kirste Gordon.

Did Bevam Spencer von Einem really kill all those people he was suspected of killing and did "The Family" really exist.

I'll let some of the other Aussies answer why I would look at these things...

Spindrift · 12th October 2007, 07:54 AM

Not sure how I would find them but the first brave soul to eat oysters, I'm forever grateful.

"Grog, look at this funny flat rock! It's kind of slimy inside. I think I'll eat it."

kmortis · 12th October 2007, 09:32 AM

Originally Posted by Spindrift

Not sure how I would find them but the first brave soul to eat oysters, I'm forever grateful.

"Grog, look at this funny flat rock! It's kind of slimy inside. I think I'll eat it."

Ok, you take the oysters and I'll take the artichoke. Who wants the lobster or pomegrante?

And let's not forget the potato (how they Maya figured out how to make it non-toxic) or the banana (met the guys who domesticated it and why they bothered) or how they figured out just the right process for coffee, cocoa, olives or cassava.

I'd just like to follow Emperor Norton I around for a while.

Or Newton. Fond out just what kind of ass he really was.

Did Sacco and Vanzeti really do it?

Or Joe Hill?

Who was Homer?

beowulf573 · 12th October 2007, 09:54 AM

What happened to the Amber Room.

NobbyNobbs · 12th October 2007, 11:36 AM

I'd like to go back to last night and solve the mystery of where I put my car keys.

Marquis de Carabas · 12th October 2007, 11:45 AM

Damn it, Nobby. Some things man was not meant to know!

Piscivore · 12th October 2007, 11:49 AM

Originally Posted by Wildy

Did Bevam Spencer von Einem really kill all those people he was suspected of killing...

Along those lines, did Erzbet Bathory really bathe in the blood of slaughtered virgins, and would she let someone watch?

LibraryLady · 12th October 2007, 01:22 PM

I too am a Richardian. I think it was Henry Tudor.

10th October 2007, 11:46 AM	#1
Spindrift Enturbulator Extraordinaire Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Right here! Posts: 8,451	What past mystery would you solve? This is an offshoot of the what past civilization thread. Assumptions: You're the ultimate fly on the wall. You can go back in time as an observer to any place, anytime. You can't be seen or heard and will not affect anything. You can understand all spoken and written languages. What past mystery would you like to go back and resolve (at least for yourself) once and for all? Examples: How they really built Stonehenge/Pyramids. What really happened to Amelia Earhart. etc. Personally, I'd like to go back and see if there was really a Jesus and did he really do all those cool things.
	__________________ I've always believed that cluelessness evolved as an adaptation to allow the truly appalling to live with themselves. - G. B. Trudeau A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky dangerous animals and you know it. - Kay, Men in Black.

10th October 2007, 12:40 PM	#2
Tanja Comfortably Numb Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 3,002	Oooh, I would try to find out whether Richard the III really killed the princes in the tower...
Tanja Comfortably Numb Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 3,002

10th October 2007, 01:50 PM	#4
Fengirl Graduate Poster Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Cambridgeshire, UK Posts: 1,194	I'd like to know who put the bomp in the bomp-a-bomp-a-bomp....
	__________________ "'Tis with our judgments as our watches, none Go just alike, yet each believes his own." Alexander Pope: An Essay on Criticism lines 9-10

10th October 2007, 02:05 PM	#5
tkingdoll AKA TEEK Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Up Myself Posts: 12,471	I'm into Erdnase at present for various reasons. So, that.
	__________________ www.stormmovie.net Official website of Tim Minchin's Storm Movie

10th October 2007, 03:49 PM	#6
Brown Penultimate Amazing Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Twin Cities, Canada Posts: 12,167	I've thought about this a great deal. I've even considered writing a science fiction story in which history "miners" resolve numerous historical disputes, often finding evidence in the present day that was overlooked. I still think about this story idea from time to time, but it always seems to adopt similarities to part of Clarke's "Childhood's End," so I have given up trying to write it. Nevertheless, in thinking about this story, I thought that Jesus would be one of the most interesting historical figures to investigate. In the basic story, before the "miners" could "mine history" to solve ancient unsolved questions, they had to solve recent mysteries first. (Example: the "miners" found that OJ Simpson was guilty as sin, and were even able to trace his bloody clothes to a landfill, after which forensic testing proved their authenticity and their incriminating character.) Eventually the "miners" decide to inquire into the person of Jesus Christ. (The miners have already observed an earlier event, the assassination of Julius Caesar in Rome in 44 BCE, so they are satisfied that they ought to be able to find Jesus.) They decide that the crucifixion is the event that would be easiest to home in on in terms of both date and place (they wouldn't know the exact year, but they could check all crucifixions near Jerusalem around Passover for a range of years). Once they found Jesus on the cross, and identified him by name and nature of crime (which all four gospels say was posted on the cross in one form or another), they would be able to trace Jesus forward and backward in time, and observe everything he did. There's just one small problem: they can't find him. Or at least, they can't find anyone who is a very close match to what the gospels say. So what do they do? Do they give up? Do they investigate some of the poor condemned bastards who share some of Jesus's traits (such as being executed for sedition) but not others (such as a lack of scourging, or a missing crown of thorns, or an absence of thieves crucified on either side, or a failure to be stabbed by a spear, or ....)? Do they expand their search to include summertime crucifixions? What?
	__________________ Klaatu: I'm impatient with stupidity. My people have learned to live without it. Mr. Harley: I'm afraid my people haven't. I am very sorry. I wish it were otherwise. -- The Day The Earth Stood Still, screenplay by Edmund H. North "Don't you get me wrong. I only want to know." -- Judas in Jesus Christ Superstar, lyrics by Tim Rice

10th October 2007, 01:43 PM	#3
Marquis de Carabas Penultimate Amazing Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: vuori Posts: 27,106	I'd want to find out what Fermat's "truly remarkable proof" was.

10th October 2007, 04:16 PM	#7
rtalman Muse Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 835	I would want to see what was around before the Big Bang.
rtalman Muse Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 835	__________________ Re-education Camp Director: What's better than a big juicy steak? Camp Detainees: Nothing is better than a big juicy steak! Re-education Camp Director: And what's better than nothing? Camp Detainees: A stale piece of bread is better than nothing! Re-education Camp Director: Therefore a stale piece of bread is better than a big juicy steak.

10th October 2007, 04:23 PM	#8
Babylon Sister Muse Join Date: May 2003 Location: In the Darkness on the edge of Town Posts: 659	I've also thought long and hard about this idea. I often imagine I have an invisible time bubble that I can use to go to the past. As an archeologist, I can think of so many things I'd like to see or see resolved: like the first migrations into the Americas and the thereby the answer to the "Clovis first" question; is handedness a factor in stone tool manufacture and use; how do our interpretations of a site (any site) compare to what really happened there; what kind of information are we missing because we don't (yet) know to look for it? But what I really want to know is: what the hell was on that lost 18 minutes of tape?!
	__________________ ______ Been down so long it looks like up to me.

10th October 2007, 04:30 PM	#9
sinclairmcevoy Philosopher Join Date: Feb 2006 Posts: 8,027	I'd like to be around to witness the beginning of life. However it happened, knowing with surety would be nice.

10th October 2007, 04:31 PM	#10
TheDoLittle Disco King Discombobulator Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Houston, Texas Posts: 1,658	I'd go back to 3 months ago... when my wife was late bringing me lunch. She said she had car trouble. She also walked in with a new purse and no change from the money I gave to her to buy lunch. I just want to see if she really had car trouble.
	__________________ David O. Little -=The DoLittle 8-)=- America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week. - Evan Esar / No one can earn a million dollars honestly. - William Jennings Bryan (1860 - 1925) / If you make people think they're thinking, they'll love you; But if you really make them think, they'll hate you. - Don Marquis

10th October 2007, 05:34 PM	#11
Mobyseven President of Covert-Ops Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Not the Rat. Posts: 5,672	Seeing as everyone else is going to answer the big, deep and important questions, I'm going to come from left field and say that I'd like to know who Jack the Ripper really was. And if I have time, the Zodiac killer.
	__________________ "[Mobyseven is] a fantastically friendly, open, curious, happy, charming, sweet and adorable young man! And those are his bad points." - HistoryGal on Mobyseven "Damn, you're good." - Ichneumonwasp on Mobyseven

10th October 2007, 10:53 PM	#12
HistoryGal Graduate Poster Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Land of La Posts: 1,572	Originally Posted by Tanja Oooh, I would try to find out whether Richard the III really killed the princes in the tower... Me, too, although I suspect the actual culprit was Henry Stafford, Duke of Buckingham. And, uh, yes, I do happen to have a portrait of Richard III hanging in my living room. Wanna make something of it? HG

11th October 2007, 12:20 AM	#13
bigred Penultimate Amazing Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: USA Posts: 12,538	Originally Posted by Mobyseven Seeing as everyone else is going to answer the big, deep and important questions, I'm going to come from left field and say that I'd like to know who Jack the Ripper really was. I'm amazed it took that long for someone to say this. I'd have to go w/Jesus. Pre "Big Bang" is next.......everything else a distant 3d and so many to choose from.......

11th October 2007, 12:25 AM	#14
JoeEllison Cuddly Like a Koala Bear Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Florida Posts: 7,276	I'm still curious... where, exactly, is the beef?

11th October 2007, 05:00 AM	#15
kmortis Biomechanoid Director of IDIOCY (Region 13) Moderator Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: New Texas Posts: 24,624	Originally Posted by Babylon Sister But what I really want to know is: what the hell was on that lost 18 minutes of tape?! Oh that's an easy one. Arlo Guthry discovered that. To paraphrase, he got invited to Carter's inauguration and met Chip Carter who told Arlo that while Nixon was moving out, the Carter people discovered that Tricky Dick had a copy of "Alice's Restaurant" in his collection. In Arlo's own words.... Quote: How many OTHER things to you know of that are exactly 18:20 long?
	__________________ -Aberhaten did it - "Which gives us an answer to our question. What’s the worst thing that can happen in a pressure cooker?" Randall Monroe -Director of Independent Determining Inquisitor Of Crazy Yapping - Aberhaten's Apothegm™ - An Internet law that states that optimism is indistinguishable from sarcasm

11th October 2007, 05:59 AM	#16
Spindrift Enturbulator Extraordinaire Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Right here! Posts: 8,451	On a personal quest, I'd really like to go back and find out if Lisa really did like me in high school. A friend of hers told me this, at our 25th reunion, but I'm not quite sure I believe her. By that time Lisa had moved across the country, married, four kids and I hadn't seen her in many years so I wasn't about to call her up and ask like some stalker. I'd still like to know for sure and be able to point at my yearbook and say "That babe had the hots for me."
	__________________ I've always believed that cluelessness evolved as an adaptation to allow the truly appalling to live with themselves. - G. B. Trudeau A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky dangerous animals and you know it. - Kay, Men in Black.

11th October 2007, 07:07 AM	#17
JoeEllison Cuddly Like a Koala Bear Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Florida Posts: 7,276	Originally Posted by Spindrift On a personal quest, I'd really like to go back and find out if Lisa really did like me in high school. A friend of hers told me this, at our 25th reunion, but I'm not quite sure I believe her. By that time Lisa had moved across the country, married, four kids and I hadn't seen her in many years so I wasn't about to call her up and ask like some stalker. I'd still like to know for sure and be able to point at my yearbook and say "That babe had the hots for me." Dude... she did. Trust me.

11th October 2007, 07:59 AM	#18
AgeGap Master Poster Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: St.Helens, UK Posts: 2,386	I would like to see who shot JFK but I don't think it would be safe with all them bullets flying in every direction. How about seeing who planted the thermite or Armstrong, Collins and Aldrin at the Hanger 18 soundstage. I would follow Bigfoot after she was filmed as this could lead me to Atlantis. If I only had one opportunity it would be to use the time machine to locate Blackbeards treasure, arr.

11th October 2007, 08:11 AM	#19
Damien Evans Up The Irons Tagger Join Date: May 2007 Location: Melbourne, Australia Posts: 25,305	I'd like to know who Jack The Ripper really was
	__________________ WHAT CAN THE HARVEST HOPE FOR, IF NOT THE CARE OF THE REAPER MAN? - Death "Racism is a disease in society. We're all equal. I don't care what their colour is, or religion. Just as long as they're human beings they're my buddies." - Mandawuy Yunupingu, lead singer of Yothu Yindi

11th October 2007, 09:32 AM	#20
Erin Scholar Join Date: Oct 2007 Posts: 117	I would love for them to solve the mystery of the brain and the psyche.
Erin Scholar Join Date: Oct 2007 Posts: 117

11th October 2007, 09:47 AM	#21
HawaiiBigSis List Management Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Under the rainbow Posts: 5,032	I'd like to know what really happened to Ambrose Bierce or Judge Crater, or any of the myriad other "He walked across the street and disappeared, never to be seen again" people.
	__________________ The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also. - Mark Twain

11th October 2007, 04:38 PM	#22
TheDoLittle Disco King Discombobulator Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Houston, Texas Posts: 1,658	Originally Posted by Erin I would love for them to solve the mystery of the brain and the psyche. Oh, that's easy.... goodman02_PinkyBrain-01.jpg
	__________________ David O. Little -=The DoLittle 8-)=- America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week. - Evan Esar / No one can earn a million dollars honestly. - William Jennings Bryan (1860 - 1925) / If you make people think they're thinking, they'll love you; But if you really make them think, they'll hate you. - Don Marquis

11th October 2007, 04:50 PM	#23
ConspiRaider Writer of Nothingnesses Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 11,169	I'd like to witness the single, all-clarifying, traumatic and psyche-warping incident in her childhood that caused Snow White to shun polite society and live in a cave with seven midgets. (You know how to whistle, don't you? You just put your lips together and blow.)

11th October 2007, 04:59 PM	#24
ChristineR Illuminator Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 3,189	Originally Posted by Mobyseven Seeing as everyone else is going to answer the big, deep and important questions, I'm going to come from left field and say that I'd like to know who Jack the Ripper really was. And if I have time, the Zodiac killer. Aron Kominski. Well, maybe it would be nice to know for sure, but this one is actually fairly solid. The most interesting thing about old Jack is that he was the first modern serial killer, the first guy who lived in a city with a large enough supply of alcoholic prostitutes that he was able to get off the train and kill someone and get back to the station without being noticed. The man himself will never match the social phenomenon, which is pretty well documented as it is...
ChristineR Illuminator Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 3,189	__________________ Avatar (c) Neopets.com

11th October 2007, 07:15 PM	#25
Andronicus Critical Thinker Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Florida Posts: 283	In no particular order, and trying not to be duplicative of the above: 1) Roanoke, especially "Croatoan"? Was the lost colony really adopted or enslaved by natives? 2) Who (on which side) fired the "shot heard 'round the world"? 3) What caused the extinction of the dinosaurs? (Meteor? Smoking?) 4) What was Stonehenge’s purpose? (Calendar?) 5) What caused the War of Troy? What stopped it? 6) Personal curiosity as to the attractiveness, social grace, and charisma of the various beauties of history and legend? Helen of Troy? Cleopatra (VII)? Aspasia of Miletus? Many others. 7) Shakespeare’s love life? Perhaps the only historical person’s private life I would truly be interested in knowing. PS – Wouldn’t our time bubble be destroyed as it approached the big bang singularity? Was there a “time” before the big bang to go back to?

11th October 2007, 07:30 PM	#26
HawaiiBigSis List Management Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Under the rainbow Posts: 5,032	Originally Posted by Andronicus 1) Roanoke, especially "Croatoan"? Was the lost colony really adopted or enslaved by natives? 3) What caused the extinction of the dinosaurs? (Meteor? Smoking?) 5) What caused the War of Troy? What stopped it? 7) Shakespeare’s love life? Perhaps the only historical person’s private life I would truly be interested in knowing. Yeah, and especially those too...
	__________________ The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also. - Mark Twain

11th October 2007, 07:31 PM	#27
Piscivore Smelling fishy Join Date: May 2004 Location: Home is wherever I'm with you Posts: 26,476	Who plugged up the toilet that flooded Atlantis. I'm betting it was Frank.
	__________________ Give a man a fish, feed him for a day. Take his fish away and tell him he's lucky just to be alive, and he'll figure out how to catch another one for you to take tomorrow. "...untrustworthy obnoxious twerp." - CFLarsen

11th October 2007, 07:36 PM	#28
Tressa Muse Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Massachusetts, USA Posts: 670	Who was Jack the Ripper was my first thought too. Stonehenge was next.
	__________________ @>-->---- Tressa http://thephantomexpresscard.blogspot.com Carpe Amor: "Love is not the dying moan of a distant violin; it is the triumphant twang of a bedspring." ~SJ Perelman

11th October 2007, 07:41 PM	#29
Scott Haley Muse Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 562	I'd love to see a living tyrannosaurus rex, what they really looked like, how they hunted. I'd also love to watch some Neanderthals, find out if they spoke, and what that sounded like, how they dressed (if they dressed), and how they hunted.
Scott Haley Muse Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 562

11th October 2007, 07:58 PM	#30
bokonon Illuminator Join Date: Aug 2007 Posts: 4,444	I'd want to find out how Jefferson broke his wrist, what caused his falling out with Maria Cosway, and what sort of relationship he had with Sally Hemings. You know, the important stuff...
bokonon Illuminator Join Date: Aug 2007 Posts: 4,444

11th October 2007, 08:23 PM	#31
timhau NWO Litter Technician Join Date: May 2004 Location: East of Sweeden Posts: 9,690	Originally Posted by Mobyseven Seeing as everyone else is going to answer the big, deep and important questions, I'm going to come from left field and say that I'd like to know who Jack the Ripper really was. That was my first idea as well. My guess is that we'd be totally underwhelmed to find that instead of some famous or otherwise larger-than-life figure, it's some deranged no-name loser.
	__________________ When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord, in his wisdom, doesn't work that way. I just stole one and asked Him to forgive me. - Emo Philips

11th October 2007, 08:30 PM	#32
JEROME DA GNOME Banned Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: The Land of Pleasant Living Posts: 8,932	Was there a world wide cataclysmic event that destroyed most of humanity?

11th October 2007, 08:32 PM	#33
Wildy Adelaidean Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Australia, not that you'll read the "location" field. Posts: 9,923	All those seem to be well and good but I would find out these: Who took, and what happened to, the Beaumont Children. Who took, and what happened to, Joanne Ratcliffe and Kirste Gordon. Did Bevam Spencer von Einem really kill all those people he was suspected of killing and did "The Family" really exist. I'll let some of the other Aussies answer why I would look at these things...
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12th October 2007, 07:54 AM	#34
Spindrift Enturbulator Extraordinaire Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Right here! Posts: 8,451	Not sure how I would find them but the first brave soul to eat oysters, I'm forever grateful. "Grog, look at this funny flat rock! It's kind of slimy inside. I think I'll eat it."
	__________________ I've always believed that cluelessness evolved as an adaptation to allow the truly appalling to live with themselves. - G. B. Trudeau A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky dangerous animals and you know it. - Kay, Men in Black.

12th October 2007, 09:32 AM	#35
kmortis Biomechanoid Director of IDIOCY (Region 13) Moderator Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: New Texas Posts: 24,624	Originally Posted by Spindrift Not sure how I would find them but the first brave soul to eat oysters, I'm forever grateful. "Grog, look at this funny flat rock! It's kind of slimy inside. I think I'll eat it." Ok, you take the oysters and I'll take the artichoke. Who wants the lobster or pomegrante? And let's not forget the potato (how they Maya figured out how to make it non-toxic) or the banana (met the guys who domesticated it and why they bothered) or how they figured out just the right process for coffee, cocoa, olives or cassava. I'd just like to follow Emperor Norton I around for a while. Or Newton. Fond out just what kind of ass he really was. Did Sacco and Vanzeti really do it? Or Joe Hill? Who was Homer?
	__________________ -Aberhaten did it - "Which gives us an answer to our question. What’s the worst thing that can happen in a pressure cooker?" Randall Monroe -Director of Independent Determining Inquisitor Of Crazy Yapping - Aberhaten's Apothegm™ - An Internet law that states that optimism is indistinguishable from sarcasm