One Liners

Cain · 17th November 2007, 08:08 AM

So, what's your opinion on one-liners? Have you compiled a list of your own? Do you review'em before performing? A canned line with proper timing is better than an original line with bad timing. And I do not mean schlocky crap ("har har, never take a sleeping and a laxative the same night.") Also, unfortunately, some of the funnier stuff cannot be said in polite company: Spec, "Make my wife disappear." "Sorry Sir, but magic does have weight limits." Or telling a kid he better shuddap unless "you want to see your face on a milk carton." I sort of wish I was overweight so I can rebut the following heckler, "if you can do magic then why are you so fat?" "Because every time I **** your mom she gives me a cookie." These are funny, I think, because they're responses to something, so it's not inevitable they will be used. They make the performer appear clever and quick. Other times such material causes me to groan (e.g., Clean hand, other hand, oh that was the clean hand; So, where are you from? "New Jersey." I'm sorry? "New Jersey." No, I heard you, I'm just sorry, A few people think I'm telepathic.... A few people think I'm psychic.... Most people think of me as psychopathic...") Ugh.

I have no idea why Aldo Colombini gets praise and renown. I think the charming immigrant stuff only takes him so far. His other stuff just seems way too plotted and not very funny: "Be careful, it's a sharpie!"

I mean, you have to have sharp lines for people who ask "Where did you learn that? or exclaim, "How did you do that?" or criticize "I've seen this before!"

greymatters · 17th November 2007, 08:19 PM

Nicholas Night had a great all-purpose response to sarcastic lines like this, when doing close-up. He had a hand counter attached to a key retractor. He would wear this on his hip.

Before the evening's set, he would set it to some number, say, 86. If someone said something like, "Can you make my wife disappear?", he would bring up the chained counter, click it, and say, "You know, that's the . . . (looks at counter) . . . 87th time I've heard that!" He then lets the chain retract and take the counter back.

I like this. You acknowledge the situation, diffuse it with a laugh, and then move on.

Cain · 18th November 2007, 04:32 AM

That is a workable all-purpose response. Also, you have very polished looking signature.

OK, slight change in thread topic. One of the problems with magic is that some lines have been circulating for so long that they cannot be traced back to their original source. Or even if something can be traced back to its original source, is it OK to use it? What if you're an amateur rather than a paid performer? Does that make a difference? What about taking material from professional comedians? A fairly prominent, truly brilliant comedian sometimes uses the following in some of his shows: "My last name is Galifiankis. I hope I'm pronouncing that correctly." Now, a lot of other people could easily adapt that to themselves. Yes, yes, they're unoriginal hacks, but in an informal performing environment where chances are NOBODY has heard that joke before (or remembers it), is there any harm to using it? Zach Galifiankis has a better bit that one cannot reproduce:

Quote:

My father would tell me I had a great last name. "Zach," he'd say, "your last name begins with 'gal' and ends with 'kiss.'" Thanks Dad, but do you think it could end with "f***"?

firecoins · 20th November 2007, 07:14 PM

Never steal a comedian's material. Big no no. We comedians work hard to come up with good material for it to be stolen by some hack magic act.

17th November 2007, 08:08 AM	#1
Cain Contrarian Join Date: May 2002 Location: S. California Posts: 3,958	One Liners So, what's your opinion on one-liners? Have you compiled a list of your own? Do you review'em before performing? A canned line with proper timing is better than an original line with bad timing. And I do not mean schlocky crap ("har har, never take a sleeping and a laxative the same night.") Also, unfortunately, some of the funnier stuff cannot be said in polite company: Spec, "Make my wife disappear." "Sorry Sir, but magic does have weight limits." Or telling a kid he better shuddap unless "you want to see your face on a milk carton." I sort of wish I was overweight so I can rebut the following heckler, "if you can do magic then why are you so fat?" "Because every time I **** your mom she gives me a cookie." These are funny, I think, because they're responses to something, so it's not inevitable they will be used. They make the performer appear clever and quick. Other times such material causes me to groan (e.g., Clean hand, other hand, oh that was the clean hand; So, where are you from? "New Jersey." I'm sorry? "New Jersey." No, I heard you, I'm just sorry, A few people think I'm telepathic.... A few people think I'm psychic.... Most people think of me as psychopathic...") Ugh. I have no idea why Aldo Colombini gets praise and renown. I think the charming immigrant stuff only takes him so far. His other stuff just seems way too plotted and not very funny: "Be careful, it's a sharpie!" I mean, you have to have sharp lines for people who ask "Where did you learn that? or exclaim, "How did you do that?" or criticize "I've seen this before!"
	__________________ Well, well, well. If it ain't the serious, elusive Leroy Green. I've been waitin' a long time for this, Leroy. I am sick of hearin' these ***** Superman stories about the "wassah" legendary Bruce Leroy catchin' bullets with his teeth. Catches bullets with his teeth?! ***** pleeze.

17th November 2007, 08:19 PM	#2
greymatters Muse Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Las Vegas Posts: 751	Nicholas Night had a great all-purpose response to sarcastic lines like this, when doing close-up. He had a hand counter attached to a key retractor. He would wear this on his hip. Before the evening's set, he would set it to some number, say, 86. If someone said something like, "Can you make my wife disappear?", he would bring up the chained counter, click it, and say, "You know, that's the . . . (looks at counter) . . . 87th time I've heard that!" He then lets the chain retract and take the counter back. I like this. You acknowledge the situation, diffuse it with a laugh, and then move on.
	__________________ Grey Matters: Blog \| Videos \| Mental Gym \| Presentation \| Original Products \| Recommended Products Train and Strain Your Brain to Entertain! Last edited by greymatters; 17th November 2007 at 08:20 PM.

18th November 2007, 04:32 AM	#3
Cain Contrarian Join Date: May 2002 Location: S. California Posts: 3,958	That is a workable all-purpose response. Also, you have very polished looking signature. OK, slight change in thread topic. One of the problems with magic is that some lines have been circulating for so long that they cannot be traced back to their original source. Or even if something can be traced back to its original source, is it OK to use it? What if you're an amateur rather than a paid performer? Does that make a difference? What about taking material from professional comedians? A fairly prominent, truly brilliant comedian sometimes uses the following in some of his shows: "My last name is Galifiankis. I hope I'm pronouncing that correctly." Now, a lot of other people could easily adapt that to themselves. Yes, yes, they're unoriginal hacks, but in an informal performing environment where chances are NOBODY has heard that joke before (or remembers it), is there any harm to using it? Zach Galifiankis has a better bit that one cannot reproduce: Quote: My father would tell me I had a great last name. "Zach," he'd say, "your last name begins with 'gal' and ends with 'kiss.'" Thanks Dad, but do you think it could end with "f***"?
	__________________ Well, well, well. If it ain't the serious, elusive Leroy Green. I've been waitin' a long time for this, Leroy. I am sick of hearin' these ***** Superman stories about the "wassah" legendary Bruce Leroy catchin' bullets with his teeth. Catches bullets with his teeth?! ***** pleeze.

20th November 2007, 07:14 PM	#4
firecoins Illuminator Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Nyack, NY Posts: 3,065	Never steal a comedian's material. Big no no. We comedians work hard to come up with good material for it to be stolen by some hack magic act.
	__________________ NY Paramedic, skeptic, 9/11/01 Reality-ist. I am both right wing nut and left wing lunatic. Deal with it. Last edited by firecoins; 20th November 2007 at 07:14 PM.