When Squirrels Attack

BPSCG · 20th November 2007, 10:49 AM

Quote:

Brian Elwood, a spokesman for Xcel Energy, said a squirrel came in contact with an overhead transformer and knocked out service to 177 customers Monday. Power was fully restored in just under an hour, and repair crews found the remains of the "unfortunate squirrel," he said.

By coincidence, another squirrel got into a substation 40 miles away in Ironwood, Mich., Monday morning and caused a temporary outage that affected about 1,400 customers in Ironwood and two nearby communities, Elwood said.

link

Coincidence? Coincidence???

Wake up, America!

Tokenconservative · 20th November 2007, 11:43 AM

Originally Posted by BPSCG

link

Coincidence? Coincidence???

Wake up, America!

The squirrels around here wear mufti and carry AKs.

I kill them when I can.

Tokie

Ratatoskr · 20th November 2007, 01:10 PM

No comment.

slingblade · 20th November 2007, 01:26 PM

Acorn Jihad!

WildCat · 20th November 2007, 05:18 PM

Is the squirrel ok Uncle Larry?

BPSCG · 20th November 2007, 08:28 PM

Quote:

A kamikaze squirrel fell from the sky and detonated a Bayonne woman's car yesterday, police said today.

Lindsey Millar, 23, and her brother, Tony, 22, were both home Wednesday at about 12:45 p.m. when Lindsey's car suddenly started burning outside their 42nd Street home.

Tony Millar said firefighters told them it was the work of a buck-toothed saboteur that had been gnawing on overhead power lines connected to a transformer directly above the 2006 Toyota Camry.

"The squirrel chewed through the wire, was set on fire, fell down directly to where the car was," Tony Millar said. "The squirrel, on fire, slid into the engine compartment and blew up the car.

Link

Quote:

Police in Iran are reported to have taken 14 squirrels into custody - because they are suspected of spying.

The rodents were found near the Iranian border allegedly equipped with eavesdropping devices.

The reports have come from the official Islamic Republic News Agency (IRNA).

Link

Do you see, America? Do you see?

Ratatoskr · 20th November 2007, 11:20 PM

Please move along, nothing to see, ehrm, read here...

This Guy · 21st November 2007, 06:07 PM

Well I, for one, welcome our new bucked toothed overlords.

At least they are cute.

patrick767 · 21st November 2007, 06:30 PM

Originally Posted by BPSCG

Coincidence? Coincidence???

Wake up, America!

Here, here! Squirrel suicide bombers have twice knocked out the power to my workplace. Yes, it can even happen here in America's heartland! They're everywhere, I tell you!

Tokenconservative · 22nd November 2007, 05:10 AM

Originally Posted by slingblade

http://forums.randi.org/imagehosting...350d401dc2.jpg

Acorn Jihad!

The squirrels will get my nuts when they pry them from my cold, dead hands.

BRRRR!

Tokenconservative · 22nd November 2007, 05:11 AM

Originally Posted by patrick767

Here, here! Squirrel suicide bombers have twice knocked out the power to my workplace. Yes, it can even happen here in America's heartland! They're everywhere, I tell you!

Everywhere indeed...coincidence?

I THINK NOT!!!

Arkan_Wolfshade · 22nd November 2007, 10:59 AM

Oh, this needs cross-posted into the CT sub-forum.

slingblade · 23rd November 2007, 09:02 PM

Originally Posted by Tokenconservative

The squirrels will get my nuts when they pry them from my cold, dead hands.

BRRRR!

Oh, dude, no.....I think they gnaw more than pry.....

LostAngeles · 24th November 2007, 12:10 AM

The squirrels on campus are fat, smart, and aggressive. They will take your sandwich and your sandal.

We should all be aware of the squirrelly threat facing America

Tokenconservative · 24th November 2007, 06:20 AM

Originally Posted by slingblade

Oh, dude, no.....I think they gnaw more than pry.....

Meh. I'll be dead either way...

I mean, yeah, it gives me the creeps...but then, every time I look into the souless eyes of a squirrel, I get the chills anyway.

Tokie

Tokenconservative · 24th November 2007, 06:22 AM

Originally Posted by Arkan_Wolfshade

Oh, this needs cross-posted into the CT sub-forum.

It's not a conspiracy theory....

IF IT'S REALLY HAPPENING!!!!!

elaine · 24th November 2007, 06:31 AM

Preaching to the choir

jhunter1163 · 24th November 2007, 06:34 AM

A couple years ago my wife got a complaint from our neighbor saying that there were rats in our compost pile. So we put rat poison out there.

The neighbor was subsequently hauled off in a rubber ambulance, having had a mental breakdown and screaming of rats everywhere, including inside the actual ambulance. We quickly retrieved the rat poison, but too late; we had whacked almost every squirrel in the neighborhood.

The lone survivor retaliated by denting both of our cars with chestnuts dropped from the roof, and went out in a blaze of glory by climbing into a nearby circuit box and martyring himself for his squirrelly cause, thereby cutting power to the neighborhood and causing us to lose about $150 worth of food in our fridge.

(Rule10)ing squirrels.. kill 'em all I say. Except NorwegianSquirrel, he can stay.

SteveGrenard · 24th November 2007, 09:04 AM

You know it's a problem when the British press starts referring to alien invader squirrels as "greys" (var: grays):

Quote:

The dead grey — a road accident victim — was found at Whorral Bank earlier this year and routinely send off for analysis. When test results came back a few weeks later they revealed it had been infected with the virus, which does not show symptoms in greys but if passed onto reds can kill in large numbers.

http://www.morpethherald.co.uk/news/...els.3511836.jp

Elizabeth I · 24th November 2007, 11:36 AM

Originally Posted by patrick767

Here, here! Squirrel suicide bombers have twice knocked out the power to my workplace. Yes, it can even happen here in America's heartland! They're everywhere, I tell you!

A couple of summers ago electricity on my block was knocked out at least three times by suicide squirrels doing something to the transformer on the pole behind my house.

Watch the wires, America, watch the wires...

Fnord · 24th November 2007, 12:14 PM

This war has been going on since about 1970's, and maybe earlier. A squirrel got into the substation in Grand Ledge, Michigan, and knocked out power over three counties. Since the substation was about a block away from my dad's house, I got there in time to see them knock the charred carcass off the top of a 50kv transformer.

There must be a Squirrel Jihad. How else to explain these suicide attacks?

Fnord · 24th November 2007, 12:17 PM

Originally Posted by WildCat

Is the squirrel ok Uncle Larry?

No, Little Tommy. We're sad to report that Mr. Greysquirrel has gone on to that Big Nuthouse In The Sky.

elaine · 24th November 2007, 12:46 PM

And what about the cyclists?

http://www.chainreaction.com/squirrels.htm

my_wan · 24th November 2007, 09:50 PM

I was in North Arkansas (Ozark boonies) about 10 years ago when I witnessed a squirrel migration. It was a strange sight. Squirrels were everywhere and in everything by the hundreds, even swimming accross rivers. About as suddenly as it started they disappeared, as if there were no squirrels left in the whole region. In fact it was a couple of years before I seen another squirrel in that whole area.

Now I know!!!

Squirrel jihad, call to arms!!!!!
Mobilizing from the backwoods to wreak havoc on our cities.

ConspiRaider · 24th November 2007, 10:10 PM

Maybe squirrels are really just trying to do their part in reducing our dependency on foreign oil and dirty coal. Squirrels know, inately, that their BTU rating is, pound for pound, more than six times that of an equal amount of anthracite coal. They also know their tails are "carbon sinks", pulling in and entrapping 3.45 squirrel-tonnes of CO2 out of the air over a lifetime. So at the end of their useful lives, they simply want us to off them, remove and bury the tails in an underground salt mine, then cremate the remains to power our vaunted cities.

They can't talk - but they can bite our power grid in blazes of glory and hope we get the message.

Squirrels have been certified "green" by the National Tree Rat Symposium. And, they are low in cholesterol.

Tsukasa Buddha · 24th November 2007, 10:20 PM

OMG, they're a bigger threat than Gay Marriage!

LashL · 24th November 2007, 11:15 PM

Damn. I had a great warm and fuzzy story to tell about saving baby squirrels when a big old chestnut tree was cut down in my front yard several years ago, but then I read the rest of the thread, so, er, um, never mind.

my_wan · 25th November 2007, 03:12 AM

Originally Posted by LashL

Damn. I had a great warm and fuzzy story to tell about saving baby squirrels when a big old chestnut tree was cut down in my front yard several years ago, but then I read the rest of the thread, so, er, um, never mind.

Perhaps if you cleansed his chakra and provided enough spiritual energy with an assortment of crystals he will mend his ways.

Tokenconservative · 25th November 2007, 05:25 AM

Originally Posted by jhunter1163

A couple years ago my wife got a complaint from our neighbor saying that there were rats in our compost pile. So we put rat poison out there.

The neighbor was subsequently hauled off in a rubber ambulance, having had a mental breakdown and screaming of rats everywhere, including inside the actual ambulance. We quickly retrieved the rat poison, but too late; we had whacked almost every squirrel in the neighborhood.

The lone survivor retaliated by denting both of our cars with chestnuts dropped from the roof, and went out in a blaze of glory by climbing into a nearby circuit box and martyring himself for his squirrelly cause, thereby cutting power to the neighborhood and causing us to lose about $150 worth of food in our fridge.

(Rule10)ing squirrels.. kill 'em all I say. Except NorwegianSquirrel, he can stay.

I was gonna say...dead squirrels...that's a BAD thing?

I like squirrels actually. They are fun to watch.

But I have no problems at all with um..."controlling" their populations with things like car tires, rocks, guns, dogs, cats, the occasional, well-aimed gardening implement, etc., etc.

Tokie

Tokenconservative · 25th November 2007, 05:27 AM

Originally Posted by LashL

Damn. I had a great warm and fuzzy story to tell about saving baby squirrels when a big old chestnut tree was cut down in my front yard several years ago, but then I read the rest of the thread, so, er, um, never mind.

Yeah...someone did this for some mallards at the place where my kids take care of some livestock...the things are so tame they follow us around with the rest of the ducks.

I am going to catch them and eat them after I fatten them up a bit more.

Tokie

Tokenconservative · 25th November 2007, 05:35 AM

Originally Posted by elaine

And what about the cyclists?

http://www.chainreaction.com/squirrels.htm

I ran over a corn snake on my bike.

I felt bad about it.

I nearly hit a fox and once, a coyote on it. I felt bad about that only because these are big enough to make me fall down go boom (and worse...hurt my bike).

Where I ride, we don't have many trees (they used to call it The Great American Desert for a very good reason). What we do have is prairie rats...some call them "prairie dogs."

Now, while I love jumping their enormous holes, the reality is these vermin are an even bigger problem out here in the Wild, Wild West than squirrels are. They do an increadible amount of damage and because they are a "protected species!!!" you are not allowed to just willy-nilly wipe them out.

Never DO this, of course, it's very illegal, but just for um...information purposes: if you drop a piece of Double Bubble bubble gum into their holes, they love the stuff, but their gut is not designed to deal with/pass rubber, so it kills them.

Red squirrels, here are a non-native species, so we can kill them all we want... even when the old lady up the street who feeds the damned things calls the cops every time I knock one outten the tree with my pellet rifle.

But you have to be a little more..circumspect when approaching the problem of prairie rats.

Everybody has their cross-rodentia to bear, I guess.

Tokie

Tokenconservative · 25th November 2007, 05:36 AM

Originally Posted by my_wan

Perhaps if you cleansed his chakra and provided enough spiritual energy with an assortment of crystals he will mend his ways.

Does cleansing a chakra with crystals hurt?

Much?

And isn't that still illegal in some states south of the Mason-Dixon?

BPSCG · 25th November 2007, 03:49 PM

Originally Posted by Tokenconservative

..."controlling" their populations with things like car tires, rocks, guns, dogs, cats, the occasional, well-aimed gardening implement, etc., etc.

Emphasis mine.

Now I know you're lying. I've owned cats since I was eight years old and never had one come home with a dead squirrel.

mr rosewater · 25th November 2007, 06:38 PM

Originally Posted by BPSCG

Emphasis mine.

Now I know you're lying. I've owned cats since I was eight years old and never had one come home with a dead squirrel.

I understand it taste like chicken, they may not wish to share.

bigred · 25th November 2007, 07:02 PM

If squirrels start killing all the loose friggin cats running around, I will support The Resistance.

madurobob · 25th November 2007, 07:17 PM

Indeed. Beware the Squirrels in Black

Tricky · 25th November 2007, 08:25 PM

Originally Posted by BPSCG

Emphasis mine.

Now I know you're lying. I've owned cats since I was eight years old and never had one come home with a dead squirrel.

I had a cat named Honky Cat that was a Siamese mix and she was a squirrel-killer extraordinaire. The squirrels were used to being chased, but usually only by dogs and so their technique was to run about ten feet up a tree trunk then turn around and taunt the dogs. When the squirrels tried that with Honky, they would turn around to greet death right in the face, as she had followed them right up the tree. The neighbors complained, but since we never seemed to run out of squirrels, they didn't say too much. Some of them were actually grateful.

The only problem was that Honky was fed enough that she didn't need to kill to survive, so she often brought home partially disemboweled squirrels to present to me. I actually was proud of her for being such a good huntress.

It is true, though, that few tame cats kill squirrels.

bigred · 26th November 2007, 04:37 PM

Originally Posted by madurobob

Indeed. Beware the Squirrels in Black

lol

That site is amazingly intricate (at least appears so on a quick run thru)

LostAngeles · 26th November 2007, 04:57 PM

Originally Posted by madurobob

Indeed. Beware the Squirrels in Black

That explains a lot.

One of our, "cats," Saul is a grey, fluffy-tailed, short-eared, "cat." We often joked that he resembled a squirrel. One day, I noted him furiously whacking his tail while watching a squirrel dance around on a power line outside, shaking its tail at him. I thought the squirrel was taunting him.

I know the truth now.

When the kittens were born to their teenage slut mommy, Saul infiltrated the litter intending to gather information for the SiB on cat cults. He made up for his difficulty in meowing by mastering the hiss and the purr. Unfortunately he was adopted along with the odd one out among the kittens, a blond, destructive, hyper-active tabby with a serious Oedi-puss complex. Now, living with a cat and two humans, he must maintain his cover while participating in a two-kitty cult!

Catch it Wednesdays at 8PM on ABC!

BPSCG · 28th November 2007, 04:59 AM

More news from the WoS.

Yes, they're now attacking children!

Protect your children, America!

20th November 2007, 10:49 AM	#1
BPSCG Cannibal Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Looting Fafner's Cave Posts: 17,556	When Squirrels Attack Quote: Brian Elwood, a spokesman for Xcel Energy, said a squirrel came in contact with an overhead transformer and knocked out service to 177 customers Monday. Power was fully restored in just under an hour, and repair crews found the remains of the "unfortunate squirrel," he said. By coincidence, another squirrel got into a substation 40 miles away in Ironwood, Mich., Monday morning and caused a temporary outage that affected about 1,400 customers in Ironwood and two nearby communities, Elwood said. link Coincidence? *Coincidence???* Wake up, America!
	__________________ Philanthropist (n.) - Someone who spends his own money to advance his version of Utopia. Socialist (n.) - Someone who spends your money to advance his version of Utopia.

20th November 2007, 01:10 PM	#3
Ratatoskr NWO Squirrel Division Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Close to the north pole Posts: 1,996	No comment.
	__________________ "Without data, all you are is just another person with an opinion" - unknown "Nothing shocks me. I'm a scientist." - Indiana Jones My blog \| Skeptific.com - Skeptical feeds Previously known as NorwegianSquirrel

20th November 2007, 01:26 PM	#4
slingblade Guest Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 23,642	Acorn Jihad!
slingblade Guest Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 23,642

20th November 2007, 08:28 PM	#6
BPSCG Cannibal Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Looting Fafner's Cave Posts: 17,556	Quote: A kamikaze squirrel fell from the sky and detonated a Bayonne woman's car yesterday, police said today. Lindsey Millar, 23, and her brother, Tony, 22, were both home Wednesday at about 12:45 p.m. when Lindsey's car suddenly started burning outside their 42nd Street home. Tony Millar said firefighters told them it was the work of a buck-toothed saboteur that had been gnawing on overhead power lines connected to a transformer directly above the 2006 Toyota Camry. "The squirrel chewed through the wire, was set on fire, fell down directly to where the car was," Tony Millar said. "The squirrel, on fire, slid into the engine compartment and blew up the car. Link Quote: Police in Iran are reported to have taken 14 squirrels into custody - because they are suspected of spying. The rodents were found near the Iranian border allegedly equipped with eavesdropping devices. The reports have come from the official Islamic Republic News Agency (IRNA). Link Do you see, America? Do you *see*?
	__________________ Philanthropist (n.) - Someone who spends his own money to advance his version of Utopia. Socialist (n.) - Someone who spends your money to advance his version of Utopia.

20th November 2007, 11:20 PM	#7
Ratatoskr NWO Squirrel Division Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Close to the north pole Posts: 1,996	Please move along, nothing to see, ehrm, read here...
	__________________ "Without data, all you are is just another person with an opinion" - unknown "Nothing shocks me. I'm a scientist." - Indiana Jones My blog \| Skeptific.com - Skeptical feeds Previously known as NorwegianSquirrel

20th November 2007, 11:43 AM	#2
Tokenconservative Banned Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 2,204	Originally Posted by BPSCG link Coincidence? *Coincidence???* Wake up, America! The squirrels around here wear mufti and carry AKs. I kill them when I can. Tokie

20th November 2007, 05:18 PM	#5
WildCat NWO Master Conspirator Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Albany Park, Chicago Posts: 49,006	Is the squirrel ok Uncle Larry?

21st November 2007, 06:07 PM	#8
This Guy Master Poster Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: On the corner of WALK and DON'T WALK Posts: 2,000	Well I, for one, welcome our new bucked toothed overlords. At least they are cute.
	__________________ I'm lost. I've gone to find me. If I should return before I get back, please ask me to wait!

21st November 2007, 06:30 PM	#9
patrick767 Thinker Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 194	Originally Posted by BPSCG Coincidence? *Coincidence???* Wake up, America! Here, here! Squirrel suicide bombers have twice knocked out the power to my workplace. Yes, it can even happen here in America's heartland! They're everywhere, I tell you!
patrick767 Thinker Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 194

22nd November 2007, 05:10 AM	#10
Tokenconservative Banned Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 2,204	Originally Posted by slingblade http://forums.randi.org/imagehosting...350d401dc2.jpg Acorn Jihad! The squirrels will get my nuts when they pry them from my cold, dead hands. BRRRR!

22nd November 2007, 05:11 AM	#11
Tokenconservative Banned Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 2,204	Originally Posted by patrick767 Here, here! Squirrel suicide bombers have twice knocked out the power to my workplace. Yes, it can even happen here in America's heartland! They're everywhere, I tell you! Everywhere indeed...coincidence? I THINK NOT!!!

22nd November 2007, 10:59 AM	#12
Arkan_Wolfshade Philosopher Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Making Mytheon come to life Posts: 7,158	Oh, this needs cross-posted into the CT sub-forum.
	__________________ Amy: You should try homeopathic medicine, Bender. Try some zinc. Bender: I am forty percent zinc. Amy: Then take some echinacea, or St. John's Wort. Professor: Or a big fat placebo. It's all the same crap.

23rd November 2007, 09:02 PM	#13
slingblade Guest Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 23,642	Originally Posted by Tokenconservative The squirrels will get my nuts when they pry them from my cold, dead hands. BRRRR! Oh, dude, no.....I think they gnaw more than pry.....
slingblade Guest Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 23,642

24th November 2007, 12:10 AM	#14
LostAngeles Anti-WM Jihadist Join Date: May 2004 Location: Having a cup of tea. Posts: 10,159	The squirrels on campus are fat, smart, and aggressive. They will take your sandwich and your sandal. We should all be aware of the squirrelly threat facing America
	__________________ "There is also a likelihood that the settlement will fall between two biomes, potentially hazardous if the player expects a peaceful oceanside meadow, without realizing the ocean is full of amphibious zombie whales." - Dwarf Fortress Wik

24th November 2007, 06:20 AM	#15
Tokenconservative Banned Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 2,204	Originally Posted by slingblade Oh, dude, no.....I think they gnaw more than pry..... Meh. I'll be dead either way... I mean, yeah, it gives me the creeps...but then, every time I look into the souless eyes of a squirrel, I get the chills anyway. Tokie
	Last edited by Tokenconservative; 24th November 2007 at 06:21 AM.

24th November 2007, 06:22 AM	#16
Tokenconservative Banned Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 2,204	Originally Posted by Arkan_Wolfshade Oh, this needs cross-posted into the CT sub-forum. It's not a conspiracy theory.... IF IT'S REALLY HAPPENING!!!!!

24th November 2007, 06:31 AM	#17
elaine Killer Squirrel Killer Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Denver Posts: 4,168	Preaching to the choir

24th November 2007, 06:34 AM	#18
jhunter1163 Beer-Swilling Semiliterate Moderator Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Room 118, Bohemian Grove Marriott Posts: 15,557	A couple years ago my wife got a complaint from our neighbor saying that there were rats in our compost pile. So we put rat poison out there. The neighbor was subsequently hauled off in a rubber ambulance, having had a mental breakdown and screaming of rats everywhere, including inside the actual ambulance. We quickly retrieved the rat poison, but too late; we had whacked almost every squirrel in the neighborhood. The lone survivor retaliated by denting both of our cars with chestnuts dropped from the roof, and went out in a blaze of glory by climbing into a nearby circuit box and martyring himself for his squirrelly cause, thereby cutting power to the neighborhood and causing us to lose about $150 worth of food in our fridge. (Rule10)ing squirrels.. kill 'em all I say. Except NorwegianSquirrel, he can stay.

24th November 2007, 09:04 AM	#19
SteveGrenard Philosopher Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Wherever the airline sends my luggage Posts: 5,528	You know it's a problem when the British press starts referring to alien invader squirrels as "greys" (var: grays): Quote: The dead grey — a road accident victim — was found at Whorral Bank earlier this year and routinely send off for analysis. When test results came back a few weeks later they revealed it had been infected with the virus, which does not show symptoms in greys but if passed onto reds can kill in large numbers. http://www.morpethherald.co.uk/news/...els.3511836.jp
	__________________ "We are facing a neurosis at the level of an entire civilization” Pierre Rehov

24th November 2007, 11:36 AM	#20
Elizabeth I Olympic Equestrian Wannabe Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Defending the Alamo Posts: 9,255	Originally Posted by patrick767 Here, here! Squirrel suicide bombers have twice knocked out the power to my workplace. Yes, it can even happen here in America's heartland! They're everywhere, I tell you! A couple of summers ago electricity on my block was knocked out at least three times by suicide squirrels doing something to the transformer on the pole behind my house. Watch the wires, America, watch the wires...
	__________________ • There is something about the outside of a horse that is good for the inside of a man. - Winston Churchill • Never wrestle with a pig - you just get dirty and the pig enjoys it. • My blog: Pardon me, may I ask...

24th November 2007, 12:14 PM	#21
Fnord Metasyntactic Variable Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 6,633	This war has been going on since about 1970's, and maybe earlier. A squirrel got into the substation in Grand Ledge, Michigan, and knocked out power over three counties. Since the substation was about a block away from my dad's house, I got there in time to see them knock the charred carcass off the top of a 50kv transformer. There must be a Squirrel Jihad. How else to explain these suicide attacks?
	__________________ Belief is the subjective acceptance of a (valid or invalid) concept, opinion, or theory; Faith is the unreasoned belief in improvable things; *and Knowledge* is the reasoned belief in provable things. Belief itself proves nothing.**

24th November 2007, 12:17 PM	#22
Fnord Metasyntactic Variable Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 6,633	Originally Posted by WildCat Is the squirrel ok Uncle Larry? No, Little Tommy. We're sad to report that Mr. Greysquirrel has gone on to that Big Nuthouse In The Sky.
	__________________ Belief is the subjective acceptance of a (valid or invalid) concept, opinion, or theory; Faith is the unreasoned belief in improvable things; *and Knowledge* is the reasoned belief in provable things. Belief itself proves nothing.**

24th November 2007, 12:46 PM	#23
elaine Killer Squirrel Killer Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Denver Posts: 4,168	And what about the cyclists? http://www.chainreaction.com/squirrels.htm

24th November 2007, 09:50 PM	#24
my_wan Graduate Poster Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 1,077	I was in North Arkansas (Ozark boonies) about 10 years ago when I witnessed a squirrel migration. It was a strange sight. Squirrels were everywhere and in everything by the hundreds, even swimming accross rivers. About as suddenly as it started they disappeared, as if there were no squirrels left in the whole region. In fact it was a couple of years before I seen another squirrel in that whole area. Now I know!!! Squirrel jihad, call to arms!!!!! Mobilizing from the backwoods to wreak havoc on our cities.
my_wan Graduate Poster Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 1,077	__________________ Peace to all people of the world. The evidence indicates that this is best accomplished through a skeptical approach.

24th November 2007, 10:10 PM	#25
ConspiRaider Writer of Nothingnesses Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 11,169	Maybe squirrels are really just trying to do their part in reducing our dependency on foreign oil and dirty coal. Squirrels know, inately, that their BTU rating is, pound for pound, more than six times that of an equal amount of anthracite coal. They also know their tails are "carbon sinks", pulling in and entrapping 3.45 squirrel-tonnes of CO2 out of the air over a lifetime. So at the end of their useful lives, they simply want us to off them, remove and bury the tails in an underground salt mine, then cremate the remains to power our vaunted cities. They can't talk - but they can bite our power grid in blazes of glory and hope we get the message. Squirrels have been certified "green" by the National Tree Rat Symposium. And, they are low in cholesterol.
	Last edited by ConspiRaider; 24th November 2007 at 10:12 PM.

24th November 2007, 10:20 PM	#26
Tsukasa Buddha Other (please write in) Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: NeverLand Posts: 9,891	OMG, they're a bigger threat than Gay Marriage!
	__________________ As cultural anthropologists have always said "human culture" = "human nature". You might as well put a fish on the moon to test how it "swims naturally" without the "influence of water". -Earthborn

24th November 2007, 11:15 PM	#27
LashL Goddess of Legaltainment™ Administrator Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 26,180	Damn. I had a great warm and fuzzy story to tell about saving baby squirrels when a big old chestnut tree was cut down in my front yard several years ago, but then I read the rest of the thread, so, er, um, never mind.

25th November 2007, 03:12 AM	#28
my_wan Graduate Poster Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 1,077	Originally Posted by LashL Damn. I had a great warm and fuzzy story to tell about saving baby squirrels when a big old chestnut tree was cut down in my front yard several years ago, but then I read the rest of the thread, so, er, um, never mind. Perhaps if you cleansed his chakra and provided enough spiritual energy with an assortment of crystals he will mend his ways.
my_wan Graduate Poster Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 1,077	__________________ Peace to all people of the world. The evidence indicates that this is best accomplished through a skeptical approach.

25th November 2007, 05:25 AM	#29
Tokenconservative Banned Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 2,204	Originally Posted by jhunter1163 A couple years ago my wife got a complaint from our neighbor saying that there were rats in our compost pile. So we put rat poison out there. The neighbor was subsequently hauled off in a rubber ambulance, having had a mental breakdown and screaming of rats everywhere, including inside the actual ambulance. We quickly retrieved the rat poison, but too late; we had whacked almost every squirrel in the neighborhood. The lone survivor retaliated by denting both of our cars with chestnuts dropped from the roof, and went out in a blaze of glory by climbing into a nearby circuit box and martyring himself for his squirrelly cause, thereby cutting power to the neighborhood and causing us to lose about $150 worth of food in our fridge. (Rule10)ing squirrels.. kill 'em all I say. Except NorwegianSquirrel, he can stay. I was gonna say...dead squirrels...that's a BAD thing? I like squirrels actually. They are fun to watch. But I have no problems at all with um..."controlling" their populations with things like car tires, rocks, guns, dogs, cats, the occasional, well-aimed gardening implement, etc., etc. Tokie

25th November 2007, 05:27 AM	#30
Tokenconservative Banned Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 2,204	Originally Posted by LashL Damn. I had a great warm and fuzzy story to tell about saving baby squirrels when a big old chestnut tree was cut down in my front yard several years ago, but then I read the rest of the thread, so, er, um, never mind. Yeah...someone did this for some mallards at the place where my kids take care of some livestock...the things are so tame they follow us around with the rest of the ducks. I am going to catch them and eat them after I fatten them up a bit more. Tokie

25th November 2007, 05:35 AM	#31
Tokenconservative Banned Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 2,204	Originally Posted by elaine And what about the cyclists? http://www.chainreaction.com/squirrels.htm I ran over a corn snake on my bike. I felt bad about it. I nearly hit a fox and once, a coyote on it. I felt bad about that only because these are big enough to make me fall down go boom (and worse...hurt my bike). Where I ride, we don't have many trees (they used to call it The Great American Desert for a very good reason). What we do have is prairie rats...some call them "prairie dogs." Now, while I love jumping their enormous holes, the reality is these vermin are an even bigger problem out here in the Wild, Wild West than squirrels are. They do an increadible amount of damage and because they are a "protected species!!!" you are not allowed to just willy-nilly wipe them out. Never DO this, of course, it's very illegal, but just for um...information purposes: if you drop a piece of Double Bubble bubble gum into their holes, they love the stuff, but their gut is not designed to deal with/pass rubber, so it kills them. Red squirrels, here are a non-native species, so we can kill them all we want... even when the old lady up the street who feeds the damned things calls the cops every time I knock one outten the tree with my pellet rifle. But you have to be a little more..circumspect when approaching the problem of prairie rats. Everybody has their cross-rodentia to bear, I guess. Tokie

25th November 2007, 05:36 AM	#32
Tokenconservative Banned Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 2,204	Originally Posted by my_wan Perhaps if you cleansed his chakra and provided enough spiritual energy with an assortment of crystals he will mend his ways. Does cleansing a chakra with crystals hurt? Much? And isn't that still illegal in some states south of the Mason-Dixon?

25th November 2007, 03:49 PM	#33
BPSCG Cannibal Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Looting Fafner's Cave Posts: 17,556	Originally Posted by Tokenconservative ..."controlling" their populations with things like car tires, rocks, guns, dogs, cats, the occasional, well-aimed gardening implement, etc., etc. Emphasis mine. Now I know you're lying. I've owned cats since I was eight years old and *never* had one come home with a dead squirrel.
	__________________ Philanthropist (n.) - Someone who spends his own money to advance his version of Utopia. Socialist (n.) - Someone who spends your money to advance his version of Utopia.

25th November 2007, 06:38 PM	#34
mr rosewater Muse Join Date: May 2004 Posts: 610	Originally Posted by BPSCG Emphasis mine. Now I know you're lying. I've owned cats since I was eight years old and *never* had one come home with a dead squirrel. I understand it taste like chicken, they may not wish to share.
mr rosewater Muse Join Date: May 2004 Posts: 610

25th November 2007, 07:02 PM	#35
bigred Penultimate Amazing Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: USA Posts: 12,533	If squirrels start killing all the loose friggin cats running around, I will support The Resistance.
	Last edited by bigred; 25th November 2007 at 07:02 PM.